# Chapter 37
“Hwi-ya.”
The wave of black ripples seemed to grow slightly larger, but soon returned to its original state. Having confirmed that he still responded, however minutely, to his voice, Raon released the microphone button. Then he turned his head, looking for Aiden who would be standing behind him.
Raon’s eyes sank infinitely as he looked at Aiden, who was sitting on the floor, not even a chair, gasping for breath. He had been the Guide with the best compatibility with Jaehwi.
Bending his knees to meet Aiden at eye level, Raon placed his hand on the finely trembling shoulders. Meeting the eyes full of fear in a face turned pale, Raon slowly stroked Aiden’s shoulders.
Though not certain, Aiden had been the Guide most compatible with Jaehwi. That’s why he had accompanied them. But it was easy to understand that this situation was overwhelming for the young Guide with almost no experience. Countless Guides died trying to help Espers undergoing outbreaks.
This wasn’t anyone’s fault.
“I… I… guiding…”
“It’s okay. It happens. No need to blame yourself. Even Guides who have formed bonds are often helpless when their Espers have outbreaks.”
It was Raon who organized Aiden’s stuttering, broken words. Then he took off his jacket and hung it on an empty chair. He also removed his wristwatch, necklace, and belt. In a place where dangerous situations could occur at any moment, metal objects only increased the risk.
“Team Leader?”
When Aiden’s trembling hand grabbed his wrist, Raon smiled brightly.
“I can’t leave him alone. He’s been alone his whole life.”
Though awkward, his guiding had worked before. Maybe he could alleviate the pain a little? He raised his hand towards the researchers who were busy gathering protective equipment, unable to stop him. He wasn’t scared or afraid. Whatever happened, this was his child. His angel and demon, Jaehwi.
“No. That’s not it.”
With tears welling up and unable to properly continue his words, Aiden grabbed Raon’s clothes, so Raon gently held his hand and patted it.
“It’s okay. I’ll stabilize him and bring him out.”
“That’s not it. Actually, that… guiding… Jaehwi and I…”
Beep-beep-beep.
Along with the loud warning sound and the flashing red warning light, Raon’s gaze turned to Jaehwi. Without hesitation, Raon left the control room and ran towards the door that led to where Jaehwi was.
He had expected the door to open as soon as he arrived, but when the door without even a handle didn’t open, Raon knocked on it. Then he looked up at the CCTV camera recording this side.
“Open the door.”
After a brief standoff, when the door opened, Raon slowly went inside. As soon as he was completely inside the isolation room, the door immediately closed. Just as there was no handle to enter from outside, there was no handle to exit from inside.
“Min Jaehwi.”
What was it like when we first met? It was late at night, and the only thing illuminating the space where Jaehwi was was moonlight. The small child curled up in the narrow, dark space next to the bed was terrified. Due to his uncontrollable abilities, objects flew around in all directions, making clattering sounds. They flew around haphazardly and then suddenly fell to the floor, making loud noises.
“Today it’s not objects but you that’s floating.”
Approaching Jaehwi, who was floating at about the height of his waist, Raon swept back his disheveled bangs, his eyes turning completely red. Jaehwi’s skin, which was smooth, soft, and a healthy brown, was a mess. His skin, unable to handle the intense heat surging inside his body, was not just dry but cracked.
Gritting his teeth at the red flesh visible between the brown skin, Raon touched Jaehwi’s black top. It was because he remembered the hands stained with dark red blood that he had seen from outside. If his exposed face was like this, there might be bigger wounds on his body.
Tears fell from Raon’s eyes onto Jaehwi’s body as he opened the top on both sides with a few hand movements.
“This isn’t right.”
His trembling hands couldn’t readily touch Jaehwi’s wounds. There were areas slightly torn from the heat, but deep wounds all over his body were still oozing thin blood. He said he took stabilizers… Why wasn’t the bleeding stopping properly?
Was it like this when he came out of the dungeon last time too? Jaehwi had come to him, saying it hurt, and all Raon had done was pat him. He seemed to have had blood on his hands then too, but he hadn’t imagined there would be this many wounds hidden by clothing.
Clenching his molars, Raon tried his best to feel the energy within himself. He wanted to help even a little, but the vanished energy wouldn’t return. He tried clenching his fists tightly and taking deep breaths, but his growing anxiety made it harder to concentrate. It didn’t matter that tears were dropping from his chin onto Jaehwi’s body, messing up his face.
As Raon hastily wiped his face with his hands, he urgently covered his ears at the tremendous noise. It wasn’t like an explosion. He had never heard such noise in his life. All sounds in the world seemed mixed together. There was the sound of water, something like a dog barking. It was as if all sounds—something thumping, people talking, music—had been brought and played simultaneously right next to his ears.
Raon curled up on the floor, covering his ears and biting his lower lip. Is this what they meant by noisy? Is this what Espers hear? He remembered young Jaehwi asking him to cover his ears because it was too noisy to focus.
Every time, he had covered Jaehwi’s ears. Right now, his hands couldn’t reduce these noises at all. But whenever he covered Jaehwi’s ears, Jaehwi always had a comfortable expression and gently closed his eyes.
It was horrifying just to imagine being exposed to such noise 24 hours a day, with skin cracking from the heat surging inside the body. Even with just about a minute of this noise, Raon felt like he was going crazy.
“Hwi-ya. Can you hear my voice?”
He called out to Jaehwi, but he doubted his voice would reach Jaehwi through the noise. At that moment, the noise disappeared. As all sounds vanished as if they had never existed and silence arrived, the first thing he felt was relief.
Only then did Raon remove his hands from his ears, unknowingly gasping for breath. In the brief moment when he couldn’t focus due to the headache that came with the noise, he was soaked in cold sweat from head to toe.
“…Was it true when you said you wanted to die?”
Both young Jaehwi and current Jaehwi had easily said, “It might be easier to die.” But how could he refuse guiding while living with this kind of pain? Hesitantly standing up and approaching Jaehwi again, Raon reached out and touched Jaehwi’s wounds with his fingertips.
If he were a Guide, just brushing over the wounds with his fingertips would heal them…
“…!”
Raon hurriedly tried to embrace Jaehwi as he saw the wounds under his fingertips healing. It was the first time he had actually seen Jaehwi’s wounds heal. Could he really block that noise by covering his ears? Just doing this much could heal him… But there was no energy in him now, so what was this…?
It was Raon who had sent Jaehwi to his death. He had flicked Jaehwi’s forehead when he clung to him saying it hurt and was difficult, and woke up and chased away the child who would enter his office at all times to cuddle with his clothes or use them as a pillow. He pushed away Jaehwi when he tried to cling to him and thrust lists of other Guides at him.
‘Hyung. I like you.’
Had he ever answered Jaehwi’s words? What did he say to someone who held him in his arms and confessed, as if wanting to confirm it several times…?
“Hwi-ya… Min Jaehwi. I… I…”
The black ripples surrounding Jaehwi’s floating body disappeared, and he fell straight to the floor.
‘It’s a call from NCSC. I’ll be back.’
He hurriedly tried to embrace the limp Jaehwi, but even just embracing his heavy upper body was a strain.
You said you’d be back, so why are you like this?
I haven’t even properly answered your words yet, and we haven’t done any of the things we were going to do together…
Suddenly, Jaehwi’s last words that he heard in his half-sleep came to mind.
‘Sleep well. I’ll give you a kiss when I come back.’
He said he would give a kiss… Why… are you like this here?
