Various emotions colorfully spread across Seo Juhan’s thoughtless face in an instant. The brief moment felt long like stretched tape.
“Ah, teacher. Hello.”
Seo Juhan answered half a beat late. It was a tone that was surprising and welcoming yet somewhat awkward.
[Yaa, it’s been a long time. Still, Juhan, your voice hasn’t changed at all. I could tell right away when I heard it.]
The heavy yet friendly voice was unchanged.
“…You too, teacher.”
His lips expressing agreement remained loosely relaxed.
[You saw the wedding invitation Taeyoon sent, right? Why does he send things so quickly again.]
“Ah… yes. Haha.”
Seo Juhan laughed awkwardly. Unlike his gently upturned lips, his folded eyes were pitiful.
He’d realized the protagonist of the wedding invitation wasn’t Kim Taeyoon.
[Don’t feel pressured. If you’re busy, you don’t have to come. If you have time, it’s fine to just eat and go comfortably.]
“No. I’ll definitely go.”
Though his words were positive, he didn’t really want to go.
[Thanks. By the way, Taeyoon told me you also became a math teacher?]
“Ah, yes… that’s right.”
A stuffiness circulated in Seo Juhan’s pitiful smile.
[Wow. I still vividly remember when you had career counseling in the faculty office. You said math was fun and you wanted to study more in college. Even though I didn’t say it then, I was really proud inside, you know?]
“Haha…”
Seo Juhan only smiled with his mouth.
[It feels like just yesterday you were hesitating in your school uniform, but you’ve already graduated—it’s amazing. Time really flies too fast. The kids I taught are already going out into society. And Juhan, you’re even a homeroom teacher? I should say I’m deeply moved, anyway it’s a strange feeling. You’ll understand when you experience it too.]
“Yes… it’s strange for me too.”
Seo Juhan lowered his eyes and nodded gently.
[I’m already in my 7th year. But even as experience accumulates, the first year remains most memorable. I bought drinks for the kids here and such, but since you went to Seoul, there was no chance to see your face.]
“That’s true…”
[Contact me when you come down. I’ll buy you drinks.]
“…Yes, I’ll contact you.”
[If you have anything to ask or need help, tell me. It might not be much help since it’s a different region though.]
“No. I’m grateful you’d even say that.”
Though he forced a smile, Seo Juhan’s mood sank distantly.
Even after that, the groom-to-be thoroughly stirred Seo Juhan’s heart with warm words and sweet talk.
Though Seo Juhan wasn’t even conscious of it himself, he was still the weaker party in front of him.
That period, short if you called it short, was a very long time for Seo Juhan’s ego before he’d even become an adult. He could only be a yes-man to him alone. Because the heart that seemed worn away still remained as grains of sand.
[Alright, Juhan. I’ll contact you again then. I’ll put Taeyoon back on.]
It was around the time Seo Juhan, whose stomach was burning, started crushing french fries.
[Hey, did you talk well?]
The phone finally passed to its original owner.
“…What was that, all of a sudden? Have you been keeping in contact with him?”
Seo Juhan asked roughly.
[No, I came out drinking with people from the company and ran into him by chance. He’s even getting married next week. Isn’t that really amazing? How do people meet and the timing matches up so perfectly like this? It’s fucking amazing.]
Kim Taeyoon made a fuss, perhaps because he was getting drunk.
“Are you going to the wedding too?”
Bitterness circulated in his distorted brown eyes.
[Of course, I have to go. Isn’t that obvious? You have to come too, obviously. Donghyuk said he’s coming and I asked other kids too, and almost everyone’s coming. Jackpot, this is a complete class reunion.]
Juhan absolutely couldn’t listen to the rambling with a sober mind.
“Hey, I’m busy so I’m hanging up now. Let’s talk later.”
Seo Juhan coldly pressed the call end button.
“Haa.”
He sighed and flipped the phone over and put it down.
Suddenly exhausted, Seo Juhan put his elbows on the table and rested his chin. He just sat silently looking down at the leftover food.
The music playing sounded bright yet somehow depressing. He crushed the last remaining french fry with his index finger to the slow beat. He pressed it down firmly to make it completely flat.
The yellowish dough mess that had lost its form was mashed. Even his hand felt mushy together. It rippled like a heat haze.
Perhaps because he was tired, his vision strangely flickered.
A gentle face he’d forcibly suppressed in a corner of his heart naturally passed by.
The person he’d just talked to on the phone was his 3rd year high school homeroom teacher, Choi Hyeonseok.
As Seo Juhan remembered, he treated all his class students completely as person to person.
He struck up conversations here and there during breaks or took care of them attentively, played basketball together during lunch or gave them worry counseling while walking a lap around the playground. He bought snacks many times from his own pocket.
He poured out affection generously, and perhaps because his disappointment was great at times, he also got angry a lot. Even when he scolded them, it was only to the extent of keeping them during closing time and delivering a stern speech in detail.
Only now could Seo Juhan realize what an amazing thing it was to make time like that while busy with classes and work rushing in.
He was more passionate than anyone, but actually even when he was a student watching, there were many moments he looked clumsy.
He was endlessly kind to students, but otherwise he was always flustered and scurrying around as if being chased, or was frantic. He often retracted his words saying he’d explained something wrong.
Each time, he had a habit of lightly saying ‘sorry, sorry’ while squinting one eye.
Juhan liked that.
It rather felt human.
Perhaps because he treated them too friendly, there were occasionally guys who crossed the line, but Choi Hyeonseok firmly drew the line each time. He was honest in expressing his emotions. He wasn’t ashamed to say when he felt bad.
He always concluded warmly saying he was upset that you guys did this, but the teacher would also accept your opinions on these points so let’s work together.
Stinging emotions rippled and spread.
The thrill of feeling like floating from even small recognition and a word of praise.
The anxiety of being more tense than anyone when the whole class was being scolded.
All those moments.
It was probably because of that that his senior year, which he only wished would end quickly, passed by like an arrow to the point of being regrettable.
Choi Hyeonseok was an excellent substitute for his father, whose face he saw less often throughout the day.
Seo Juhan believed so.
No, he had to.
The mashed potato stuck to the tip of Juhan’s finger. Mixed stickily with oil, it wouldn’t fall off no matter how much he pressed. Colors mixed together making it hard to distinguish objects. His vision became hazy and all shapes blurred.
Tears were welling up for no reason.
Fuck, am I crazy? Why am I like this?
Seo Juhan blinked his eyes wildly and *sniff*, swallowed his snot.
Only then did his vision clear a bit.
Seo Juhan vigorously rubbed his dirty hand on the clean part of a wet wipe. Some oil remained but he ignored it and pulled his mask up over his nose. He also pressed down on his cap so it wouldn’t come off. He tucked the flipped phone into his pocket.
The series of movements was as fast as if he’d become a robot.
He stood up abruptly holding the lightened tray.
Right at that moment.
The automatic door opened and someone entered the store. It was that very someone he’d been eagerly hoping to run into by chance and feel awkward about until just now.
The bare face without a helmet was familiar, but the plain white t-shirt and jeans—neither the neat school uniform nor the punk-like rider jacket—felt only unfamiliar.
Seo Juhan turned his back in surprise. The remaining hamburger jostled on the tray in his hand. The long plastic container fell sideways and the ice inside rattled. At least he’d finished the milkshake.
He heard the sound of friendly greetings from behind.
Seo Juhan’s heart pounded.
Before he knew it, the tears had completely gone in.
Seo Juhan carefully put down the tray in its original position. The realization that he was in ironclad disguise came a beat late.
The end of the day was quite difficult. His mental state was fluctuating.
Should I just leave?
He was seriously conflicted, but the time he’d waited was too precious.
Seo Juhan eventually planted his butt on the chair.
It was the start of spying.
Seo Juhan fiddled with the empty plastic container while glancing at Go Un.
The guy opened the employee door and went in, then came out wearing a red apron. After that, he moved quite briskly.
Though he probably wasn’t even a full-time employee, he took the initiative to help out here and there. Things like mopping the floor with a mop or aligning chairs.
He stood at the register tapping the screen and even opened the cash drawer to check. When customers crowded, he was seen answering order calls instead of the counter staff. He also spent a long time in the kitchen doing who knows what before coming out.
He helped with most tasks. To someone who didn’t know well, they’d think he was a young owner.
