# Chapter 67
Somehow every corner of my body ached. My legs throbbed as if someone had crushed them with a hammer, and every breath felt as uncomfortable as if my ribs were broken.
I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids were infinitely heavy and wouldn’t open easily.
Just then, I heard the sound of a door opening from afar. Wondering if it might be Woosang, I tried to make a sound by opening my throat, but it didn’t work.
As I struggled for a while, I felt a presence right beside me.
“You’re awake.”
An unfamiliar voice spoke to me kindly. Wondering if it might be someone I knew, I rummaged through my memories for a while, but there was no one with such a low, tired voice in my mind.
After groaning for a while, I finally opened my eyes, and sure enough, the owner of the voice was a stranger. A small body with a wrinkled face, an empty expression. I didn’t know such a person. Even considering whether I might have erased him from my memory, that didn’t seem to be the case.
My lips moved, but still no sound came out.
“Do you remember how you got here? Though I doubt you would…”
Since I didn’t even know why I had awakened here, I had no idea about the process of getting here. After struggling for a while, I grew tired and gasped for breath. Perhaps thinking I was flailing because of the cold, the man pulled up the blanket that had slipped down.
The man told me to sleep a bit more, turned off the light that was on, and went out the door.
I wanted to shout for him not to leave and explain what had happened, but I had no strength in my body.
My mind became hazy, and I couldn’t think of anything. Even though pain like someone pricking my entire body with needles occurred repeatedly, I couldn’t overcome sleep.
I blinked a few times. My vision turned black again.
***
For several days, I repeated waking and sleeping. Each time, the unfamiliar man took care of me by my side. I wondered why I couldn’t put strength in my legs, and when the man lifted the blanket, I saw that both my legs were already broken.
I was shocked and dazed for a while, but it seemed he had treated them well, as fortunately there didn’t seem to be any problems.
The man, though it must have been difficult, always fed me himself at set times and changed my clothes.
During that time, I tried hard to recall how I had come to be here, but I still couldn’t remember anything.
I naturally remembered riding a car to Berlin. I was definitely right before crossing the German border from France.
I was a bit drowsy then, but not to the extent of losing consciousness. I think I saw some lights, or maybe not.
If there was any progress, it was that I could now talk to some extent. But I still couldn’t easily ask how I had come to be here. Part of it was that I was still uncomfortable with the man, but the biggest reason was that my memories weren’t sorted out yet.
About a week later, when drowsiness had somewhat disappeared, I asked the man:
“Where, where is this place?”
“Here? This is a small village in the Vosges, a bit away from Nancy. It’s all fine, but there aren’t many people. Besides that, it’s livable. For an old person like me.”
Vosges. Vosges was not far from the German border. So it didn’t seem too inconsistent with my last memory. After hesitating for a long time, I moved my lips.
“How did I… how did you find me?”
There was a lot I wanted to ask, but what I could say was still limited. So I had no choice but to fumble bit by bit.
“I was driving home when I heard a loud noise, and when I went to check, your car was all wrecked. So I brought you here.”
The man, who said he was a doctor in this small rural village, consoled me, saying that since he wasn’t specialized in trauma, he might be clumsy.
I was puzzled that even though he was a doctor, he had brought me to his home rather than a large hospital. If it was a rural area, something might have happened on the way to the hospital, but even so, it was a questionable action.
“I was going to take you to the hospital, but there was a gun in the back seat.”
“…Ah.”
That’s right. I had packed various things from my previous home to return to Berlin.
“I thought it might be troublesome if you went to the hospital. Or would you like to go to the hospital now? I can take you.”
I shook my head at the man’s words.
If I had headed to the hospital, I would likely have been arrested. I hadn’t been able to find out exactly what happened, but the fact that someone in Berlin had recognized me meant that there were few places in this area where I could move safely.
“Thank you for helping me…”
“I didn’t have anything to do anyway, so it worked out for me.”
I gave an awkward smile at his light joke. After hesitating for a moment, I asked him:
“What is your name?”
“Jang. And you?”
“…My name is Ichen.”
After hesitating, I gave my past name. Jang murmured my name a few times and then seemed to have memorized it. As he left the room, I hesitated and then raised my hand to lift the blanket.
Since I still didn’t dare to move my body, I blankly stared at my broken legs.
Certainly, when I left home, I was full of anger and sadness, but somehow all emotions had been buried. I needed to make plans for the future, but nothing could be easily decided.
With legs like these, there was nothing I could do even if I returned to Berlin, and I couldn’t go back to Paris like this either.
‘What day is it today?’
Come to think of it, I had long forgotten about dates due to constant sleeping. It seemed about a week had passed since the accident, but I wasn’t sure.
I had already told Woosang that I wouldn’t be reachable, but I hadn’t expected to be out of contact for so long.
He would be waiting.
At that thought, I immediately wanted to return to Woosang’s side. Even though I knew it wasn’t possible, my heart had already left for Berlin long ago.
I tried to lift my legs to see if I could move, but only a groan escaped my lips due to the intense pain.
‘…What should I do?’
The unanswerable question made my insides churn. Even though Jang had worked hard to treat my legs, it was natural that I couldn’t move as both legs were broken. Plus, my entire body was covered in bruises beyond just my legs.
I knew I had no choice but to rest now. The one fortunate point was that it seemed unlikely anyone would come looking for me in this small village.
For the time being, if Jang allowed it, I had no choice but to stay here to recover and then head back to Berlin.
But would my colleagues wait for me? They would know that I had left Berlin and would be looking for me. Anxiety crept up on me slowly. This emotion would clearly grow.
Soon after, Jang entered the room again. He was carrying food, and as I was starting to feel hungry, I watched him silently.
“By the way, is the food to your liking?”
“Yes, thank you for taking care of me.”
He groaned and slumped down on the chair prepared next to me.
“I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you…”
“It’s enough that you’re keeping an old man company.”
Jang spoke as if it was nothing. That couldn’t be true. No matter how much he needed someone to talk to, taking care of an adult man was excessive kindness.
Besides, he had already seen what I was carrying. So he must have realized I wasn’t a good person, and I wondered how his expression hadn’t changed at all.
No one could do this. No one…
Nevertheless, I couldn’t firmly refuse because his touch was comforting.
A somewhat resigned expression, gentle gestures, and a faint smile. Looking at Jang somehow felt like facing Woosang. Of course, there were many differences, but he seemed to resemble some parts that I liked.
I eagerly took in Jang’s appearance with my eyes. He must have noticed my gaze as he met my eyes.
“You can ask if you’re curious.”
“What?”
“You seem to be thinking about me.”
“Oh, no. Not particularly…”
I deliberately fiddled with the blanket cover, pretending not to care. He watched me like that for a while.
“Can you, keep staying here? What about work or…”
“I’m already retired. I only see people who can’t make hospital appointments and come looking for me. And basically, I don’t like crowded places, so no one lives around here. So it should be suitable for you to stay.”
He spoke gently as if he had read my concerns.
“You can stay as long as you want.”
I nodded slightly. Receiving kindness from a stranger was still difficult. Especially in an abnormal situation like this.
When talking with Jang, the urgent emotions became increasingly blurred. He seemed to deliberately show a calm appearance so that I wouldn’t feel anxious.
“When your body gets better, I’ll bring you a wheelchair. Though there’s nothing around but trees.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Once again, he got up from his seat without asking anything. His weak steps caught my eye.
I wanted to ask why he didn’t ask me anything, but in truth, I couldn’t explain anything. As I ran my hand over my face, the rough spots were now disappearing, leaving only small traces.
‘I should have asked what day it is today, but I forgot.’
Whenever I thought about the date, Jang had already left his seat and departed.
Not thinking about time, many things seemed less important than expected. Perhaps because of that, even though I had only stayed here for a few days, it felt like all the sensations in my body were becoming dull.
Even knowing I had to leave, small thoughts and slowed time held me back, and excuses about my injuries increased.
‘Still, I must ask tomorrow.’
Thinking that, I closed my eyes again.
***
I must have been asleep for a long time, as it was painfully difficult to open my eyes. My throat was dry and I felt like I should get up, but my whole body was so numb that it seemed impossible to open my eyes.
With my mind half-conscious, I was thinking and about to give up and fall asleep when I felt a touch beneath my legs.
Wondering if I was mistaking the sensation of the blanket, I tried to focus, but I couldn’t. It also seemed like I could hear breathing, and it also felt like someone was there.
But my drooping, lethargic body urged me to go back to sleep. To that sensation, which was even painful, I let out a small groan, and the presence that had been lingering nearby made a clunking sound and slowly began to move away.
‘I’m still dreaming…’
A sensation strangely both clear and hazy dominated me.
I wasn’t sure what word I should use to define this sensation.
