Dad was shoved around like a scarecrow. His face, worn down by exhaustion, was dark and haggard. His chest looked like it would bruise deep blue from all the beatings.
Dad was being oppressed, just like in the fairy tales.
It was so, so pitiful.
He had never seen him like that before.
The dad Seo Juhan knew was the biggest, strongest person in the world.
—Gangji.
Seo Juhan clenched his fist and turned to Gangji. The heart-shaped origami paper he’d been holding crumpled with a rustle.
—Go bite them.
‘Bite?’
Gangji tilted its head. Its hair stuck to the ceiling looked like it was being crushed sideways.
—Yeah.
‘……How?’
The low voice had changed to a spine-chillingly high woman’s voice.
Seo Juhan pondered what punishment to give, then said:
—……Bite down hard.
‘Kyahahaha!’
It was a laugh like clamoring chaos. Gangji grinned, its mouth splitting all the way to its ears.
‘Where should I bite?’
Gangji’s neck stretched long like twisted dough. It coiled around and around like a snake forming a spiral.
—Grandma’s arm. So she can never swing it again.
‘Arm, arm! Oh, how exciting!’
Gangji giggled, unable to contain its excitement. Its pitch-black cloak created waves of black water.
‘More! More?’
Gangji thrust its face forward, urging an answer. Its jet-black eyes gleamed. Its protruding ears perked up sharply.
—Smash her head too.
Seo Juhan hesitated before adding:
—……So she can’t scream loudly anymore.
‘Kihihi! I’ll smash it! I’ll smash it!’
Before he knew it, Gangji had shrunk to the size of a baby. It crawled around like a caterpillar, making lisping sounds.
Even now, Dad was being beaten. Seo Juhan stamped his feet in frustration.
—Quickly. Right now.
The black cloth that had been sweeping the floor stopped abruptly. Its neck twisted back at a grotesque angle.
‘All those people?’
The rat’s eyes had no pupils.
—Yeah. All three of them.
‘Got it!’
The rag suddenly flew through the air like a torch, laughing wildly.
Kikikiki!
It sounded like scraping metal. The rough bass voice echoed noisily. Like a roller coaster, the voice grew distant then close again.
The black shadow that had been spinning madly through the air suddenly came rushing close.
—Ugh!
Seo Juhan covered his face with his arms and squeezed his eyes shut.
The ghost passed straight through his body.
—……
Frozen as if struck by lightning, Seo Juhan slowly lowered his arms.
Gangji had disappeared.
He saw the sketchbook, crayons, and origami paper he’d scattered about. Other than that, the room contained only a large bag and bedding.
His heart pounded. His chest raced with anticipation. Juhan turned around. Light was seeping through the thread-thin crack in the door.
He took a step forward.
Creak.
He widened the narrow gap.
—No!
An immature young voice screamed at the top of its lungs.
A snake as huge as a house was devouring a person. It was forcing a man as big as its own body into its narrow mouth with effort.
This was terrible. He couldn’t believe his eyes.
The reptile writhed disgustingly as it swallowed, gulping and wriggling like it was dancing. Its armor-like scales glistened coldly.
The monsters, now four in number, linked arms and circled around, kicking their legs wildly as if holding a festival.
—That’s not the right one!
Tears flowed like a spring. They streamed down, wetting his plump, chubby cheeks.
—No! Nooo!
Seo Juhan wailed, flailing his arms and legs. But no matter how much he ran, he couldn’t get out of the room. Even when he struggled with all his might, he stayed in place.
Time passed helplessly.
The hideous reptile didn’t stop its biting.
Soon only struggling calves were visible.
The feet that had been trembling convulsively went limp like taffy.
—No! Sob, Dad! Hic! No!
His face, covered in tears and snot, shrieked. He choked as if about to faint.
No……
You can’t die……
No……
His closed eyelids shook as if from an earthquake. Juhan’s eyes snapped open.
“Haah.”
Seo Juhan sat up abruptly, his lungs making tearing sounds.
“Haah. Huk.”
He gasped for breath as if suffering from asthma. He panted like he was about to fall from a tall building. He swallowed air until his diaphragm felt like it would tear.
“Haa…… ha……”
The rough breathing soon subsided. But the unsettled feeling remained.
Goosebumps rose on his forearms. He felt chills from the cold sweat.
“……”
Above eye level, he saw bedding that wasn’t askew even an inch.
“……What the hell.”
Seo Juhan propped himself up with his palm and roughly tousled his bangs.
It was a dream he hadn’t had in a while.
It was a nightmare that had often visited him after his mother passed away. A terrible hallucination where even his father left him.
Though the frequency had decreased significantly now, when he was young he’d had it almost every other day.
He had it so often that sometimes he even recognized it was a dream. But even knowing the ending in advance, it was just as sad.
As the frequency increased, Seo Juhan even began to doubt himself.
Maybe I actually want my father to die? Is that why I have these dreams?
He felt this way especially on days when his father raised a hand to him.
When he was young, there were occasional slaps. But it was always because he’d done something wrong.
It was during the time when he’d tried to help with housework and only caused accidents. Like when he ran the washing machine but the paper in the pockets ruined all the laundry.
Anyway, physical punishment had stopped long ago. The period when his father had raised his hand wasn’t very long either. Just briefly when he was young.
Once he just studied as told, his father doted on him. To hate him over just that would be absurd.
Knock knock.
Just then, he heard knocking.
Seo Juhan hesitantly got up.
“Yes.”
He answered as if to say she could come in.
“Did I wake you?”
The door opened and Lee Gyeongsuk appeared. The phone in her hand had the speaker covered.
“No. I was already awake.”
Seo Juhan answered, standing crookedly. Perhaps from sleeping on the floor, his back was stiff.
“Your dad called me saying he couldn’t reach you. He asked me to find out what you want to eat.”
Lee Gyeongsuk stood at the doorway as she spoke. As if she’d drawn a line in her mind, she never crossed the threshold.
Lee Gyeongsuk first appeared in Seo Juhan’s life right when he’d received his college acceptance.
Just as he was proudly grasping the name of a prestigious university and savoring the liberation of shedding his test-taker status, his father thrust her existence before him.
Juhan tried to understand it as consideration for the test-taker, but it was shocking nonetheless.
That’s why “father’s girlfriend” was much more appropriate than the title “stepmother” for Lee Gyeongsuk.
Of course, Seo Juhan had never called Lee Gyeongsuk anything at all.
“Ah…… I’m fine with anything.”
Seo Juhan gave an awkward smile.
“Really? Then is raw fish okay?”
“Yes.”
Soon the words “Yeah, honey. He says he wants raw fish. Eel is in season these days” faded away as the door slid shut.
“……”
Sunlight filtered through the blinds poured onto his back. The room was bright as midday.
What time is it?
Seo Juhan, who’d been standing blankly, took a step. His throat was parched.
He picked up the phone that had fallen on the floor. No matter how much he tapped the screen, it stayed dark. The power was off, battery drained.
Seo Juhan plugged the phone into the charging cable fixed to the desk corner.
He sat in the chair, resting both arms on the armrests. He leaned back against the headrest, his posture relaxed. The backrest tilted backward. He seemed to be sprawled out.
He swayed the chair left and right as he surveyed the room. Having come from his studio apartment, it looked especially more luxurious. The room size seemed similar to his entire studio.
His living conditions hadn’t been this good from the start.
The house that had been modest in childhood improved the older he got. The space grew larger and taller, and possessions became luxurious even faster. Truly, things just kept getting better and better.
That’s why to Seo Juhan, his father’s existence was like Superman.
But as he grew accustomed to being surrounded by expensive things, Seo Juhan’s inner self became desolate and impoverished.
While chasing after approval that would never be fulfilled, emptiness took deep root. Escaping it would be impossible without tearing out his heart entirely.
No matter how much he drank, he couldn’t quench his parched throat.
A good child who didn’t cause worry, didn’t make trouble, and did everything he was supposed to.
A child who did well on his own without help.
These were words Seo Juhan had heard well before even wearing a school uniform.
Even without anyone looking after him, Seo Juhan lived according to a set schedule.
He sat alone at the table eating prepared meals, following rules while etching teachers’ words like doctrine, attending academies in endless rotation.
He’d never escaped the net woven 24 hours a day. He lived as if watched by invisible eyes, as if chased by something.
His life trajectory was like that of a racehorse.
He believed he had to be that way.
No, he had to be.
If not……
That evening, at an upscale Japanese restaurant, Seo Juhan sat like a folding screen and silently emptied the food piling up on his plate.
He ate until it felt like it would reach his chin. Eventually he couldn’t even taste what it was. He felt like vomiting.
Weighed down by indigestion, Seo Juhan boarded a bus heading to Jeonghan City. He took a bottle of digestive medicine and closed his eyes.
Gurgling with bubbles, he sank into a bottomless abyss.
Juhan gladly buried himself under water pressure that seemed ready to crush his entire body.
