His voice was affectionate, and his touch was unrestrained. Two fingers that entered the hole scraped out the semen that was gradually drying. The sound of semen dropping into the toilet water was heard. Joo Seonghan gripped the water tank and buried his face in his arm. Goosebumps that started from his thighs rose to his back. As if seeing it with his eyes too, Yeon Dogyeong stroked Joo Seonghan’s buttocks. The hole puckered.
“If I ask to sleep together again, will you refuse?”
He, who had spread the fingers inserted in the hole to their fullest, asked Joo Seonghan. He squeezed his eyes shut. Drip, drip… The sound of dripping semen mocked the silence. Joo Seonghan put strength in his legs. He raised his body, unlocked it, and pushed Yeon Dogyeong out of the stall. He closed the door right in front of his face with his eyes wide open and locked it. From beyond the door, once again, Yeon Dogyeong’s loud laughter burst out.
“Ah, really cute. Joo Seonghan-ssi, should I go outside?”
He, who had contained his laughter, asked while tapping the door, tok tok. Joo Seonghan, who had his forehead pressed to the door, gave an answer quieter than his breathing.
“…Yes.”
“I’ll bring you wet wipes.”
After tapping the door once more saying tok tok, he went outside the bathroom. Joo Seonghan stood for a moment, then sat down on the toilet and buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t answer his question asking if he would refuse if he asked to sleep together again. Because while his head would refuse, his body seemed like it wouldn’t be able to. It was the worst.
Joo Seonghan exhaled a long sigh and removed his hands from his face. And he brought them down below. He lifted his penis and testicles and put his finger in the hole. A wet sound was made. His face felt like it was burning.
A few minutes later, Joo Seonghan, who received wet wipes from Yeon Dogyeong who entered the bathroom and cleaned up below, put on his pants and came out of the stall. He went straight to the sink and washed his hands thoroughly when Yeon Dogyeong approached closely. He sat on the sink and looked at Joo Seonghan. Joo Seonghan pretended not to notice and wiped off the soap on his hands.
“For the next month, act while thinking about what Joo Seonghan-ssi who lost his memory would have done. The personal protection story is a lie, but we will be watching.”
Seeing how he said exactly one month, it seemed there was a set period for watching witnesses whose memories had been removed. They could just say they solved the case and secretly watch for a month, but he didn’t understand why they bothered to bring up the personal protection story. Joo Seonghan thought about it this way and that on his own, then carefully opened his mouth.
“…Every time you erase a witness’s memory, do you make up stories like this and say you’ll protect them?”
“No. Only for Joo Seonghan-ssi. It’s the first time for those people too to erase memories of a period exceeding a week, so they have a lot of interest in various ways. So they lie saying they haven’t caught the culprit yet and create excuses to meet again.”
He turned off the water. Yeon Dogyeong pulled out a hand towel and handed it to Joo Seonghan. Joo Seonghan, who hesitated for a moment, received the hand towel and wiped the water from his hands.
“By watching, does that mean every day?”
“No. Neither the Semi-Human Department nor the semi-human research institute has the manpower to chase after Joo Seonghan-ssi’s tail. At most, about once a week?”
It was fortunate he wouldn’t be monitored every day, but thinking that he would be seen by someone about once a week made his feelings complicated. Joo Seonghan pressed his lips tightly together and repeatedly wiped his hands that had lost moisture with the hand towel. Yeon Dogyeong, who looked down at the wristwatch he had gotten from somewhere that wasn’t there before, snatched the hand towel from Joo Seonghan’s hand and put it in the trash can. He gestured to Joo Seonghan with his head and left the bathroom first.
“Let’s talk about the details when we meet separately later. For now, where are you going to go and what will you do?”
His stride was wide. Joo Seonghan diligently followed behind him.
“I’ll go home and stay for a bit, then job hunting…”
“What?”
Yeon Dogyeong, who pulled up his lips crookedly, turned around with an absurd face. Joo Seonghan, who quickly stopped his feet before bumping into his back, rolled his eyes thinking he had brought up the topic wrong, then opened his mouth again.
“Then, I’ll meet my parents quietly outside and just greet them, then stay at home and…”
“Did you move out independently?”
“…Yes.”
It was closer to living alone than independence, but he didn’t bother to add that. Because his expression remained the same.
“Let’s hear how your initial plan came about.”
It wasn’t difficult. By the common sense of Joo Seonghan who had lost his memory, that was natural. The culprit who had kidnapped Joo Seonghan for two whole weeks was clearly a dangerous person. He still hadn’t been caught, and Joo Seonghan had merely escaped from him. He had to think about the possibility that he was watching Joo Seonghan. No matter how much his safety was protected, with danger still remaining, he couldn’t peacefully come and go to his parents’ house. So he was going to go straight to the house he lived in alone, and after resting for a few days, he was thinking of finding a new job. He didn’t have the confidence to return to his current company where white chrysanthemums would be piled on his empty desk.
“This is ridiculous.”
That was the first thing Yeon Dogyeong said after hearing Joo Seonghan’s whole story. Joo Seonghan quietly lowered his gaze at his words that flowed out with a sneer.
“Just do as I tell you. Stay at your parents’ house for about a week, then go to the house you live in alone after that. Don’t get a job and rest for at least a month.”
“…A whole month…”
“After a month, the research institute side will be relieved that there’s nothing wrong and won’t pay deep attention. And I told you. That Joo Seonghan-ssi’s body isn’t well. Rest at home for the time being.”
He had never rested for a whole month in his life. Since moving out independently at twenty, he had never stayed at his parents’ house for more than one day. With a feeling like he had received a difficult homework assignment, his eyebrows naturally went down. Unfortunately, Yeon Dogyeong seemed to have no intention of going easy on such a Joo Seonghan. Yeon Dogyeong, who widely gripped Joo Seonghan’s lower jaw and lifted it, made eye contact.
“You need to answer.”
“……”
“Good boy.”
He smiled and rubbed his cheek. The deepened smile was sweet. Joo Seonghan, who avoided his eyes, nodded his head slightly. That’s right. Yeon Dogyeong stroked the tip of Joo Seonghan’s lips. Could he push him away? A hazy question came up. Joo Seonghan’s reason spoke in a firm voice one beat late. Yes, I have to. Joo Seonghan grabbed and lowered Yeon Dogyeong’s hand and nodded his head slightly once again.
(2)
When Joo Seonghan arrived at his family home, his parents covered their mouths and cried. They hugged Joo Seonghan for several hours and whispered that it was enough that he was alive, that everything was fine since he was okay, and that they were grateful he was safe. The relief that he had finally returned and the guilt that he had rolled around with a man just a few hours ago tore at Joo Seonghan’s heart. Still, thanks to working hard to steel his heart on the way, Joo Seonghan was able to hug his parents with an indifferent face. The past was always unavoidable.
He quit his company and spent several days at his family home. His father tried hard to come home as soon as he got off work, and his mother tried not to leave Joo Seonghan’s side for even a moment. He didn’t dislike it. But it would be a lie to say it wasn’t burdensome. And more than gratitude, he felt greater apology.
Joo Seonghan lied to his parents that the kidnapper had been caught and that he had no memory of that time at all. He knew this was the best way, but it felt like he was deceiving them. His parents consciously tried not to talk about that period to avoid stimulating Joo Seonghan, and whenever Joo Seonghan was spacing out, they even deliberately acted bright.
They worried about things that didn’t even exist and showed consideration for Joo Seonghan. While doing so, they sighed without Joo Seonghan knowing. Just as Joo Seonghan felt burdened, they also seemed to find it difficult in one way. So after staying at his family home for five days, Joo Seonghan said he would return to the house he lived in alone. His father said he could come anytime, and his mother didn’t hide her regretful face until the last moment.
“It would be nice if you stayed longer… You haven’t changed your mind even now, right? Hm?”
His mother, who carefully got out of the car, looked at Joo Seonghan taking luggage from the trunk with a gloomy face. Joo Seonghan closed the trunk door and put down the luggage in front of the villa.
“I should gradually start working again and such.”
“Why so quickly… Let’s just go out and play with mom.”
His mother spoke while slowly approaching Joo Seonghan. Joo Seonghan looked down at her ankle wrapped in a support brace.
“Go out and play, you say. I’ll visit often.”
His mother’s ankle, which she said she twisted on the stairs, was in a much improved state, but it wasn’t completely recovered. He knew this because the housekeeper at his family home had told him about his mother’s ankle condition in detail.
“…I’ll come visit and such too.”
His mother, who stuck out her lips, spoke while grabbing Joo Seonghan’s hand. Joo Seonghan held his mother’s hand and answered “yes” obediently.
After the car carrying his mother left in front of the villa, Joo Seonghan picked up the shopping bag containing various foods and the bag with clothes and entered the villa.
Dust had settled everywhere inside the house. Joo Seonghan, who turned on the air conditioner first, put the food in the refrigerator and went up to the loft with high ceilings. He passed the wide bed, placed the bag in the dressing room inside, and came back down. It seemed he would have to do a thorough cleaning. Before starting the cleaning in earnest, Joo Seonghan picked up cigarettes and came out to the terrace beyond the living room. He lit one under the square awning.
When he returned from beyond Guimun, he had wanted to smoke a cigarette the most. However, not only did he have no money, but it was awkward to ask someone for just one. So he could only buy and smoke them on the evening of the day he arrived at his family home. Since he wasn’t the type to put them in his mouth often anyway, he didn’t feel like it was honey-sweet or that he was coming back to life. However, the feeling of regaining a small daily routine rose warmly.
