The funny thing was, after nagging so much not to spend money on useless things, he’d say shouldn’t I get a thick coat soon and suggest going to the department store on the weekend. That damn shopping addiction, luxury addiction—he can’t give it up. My words about him being a selective miser were exactly right.
Watching Kwon Jukyung buy expensive things so freely, sometimes I thought he might be from a much wealthier family than I thought. Actually, thinking that way was more comfortable too.
Regarding our relationship, there wasn’t really any progress. We were college classmates and creditor-debtor while also being sex partners who took care of each other’s sexual desires. Jukyung knew me as a beta and seemed to be releasing on me the desire he couldn’t fulfill with the beta man he had a crush on.
I occasionally cursed Kwon Jukyung and grumbled inwardly, but honestly, compared to his crooked way of speaking, I acknowledged Jukyung as a guy with a decent inside. I clearly seemed to like him with a stronger intimacy than a simple fuck buddy. Perhaps because of that, when I occasionally thought I was a substitute for his crush, I’d feel a bit depressed.
I hoped Jukyung wasn’t simply lending me money and letting me live at his house on a humanitarian level and because I had a tycoon father as backing. I hoped he wasn’t holding me because he couldn’t hold the person he had a crush on.
I thought it would be nice if Kwon Jukyung also had good feelings toward me as a person. Without any other calculations, thinking I’m a better guy than I look, being together just because he likes being with me, and mixing bodies not as someone’s substitute but just because he likes sleeping with me.
Such wishes would suddenly come when Jukyung was unusually kind, like after sex, and when such thoughts came, I’d become needlessly depressed and unknowingly become less talkative. When I shut my mouth and burrowed into Jukyung’s embrace, perhaps thinking I was tired, Jukyung would just silently hold me like a child and pat my back.
It was a warmth I somehow didn’t want to lose. At such times, Jukyung’s perfume also felt like it wrapped around me more softly. I thought I wanted to cherish both the scent and body heat for as long as possible.
CH 14
As December arrived, the season had firmly stepped into winter. It became the season when you had to wrap a thick scarf around your coat and leave the house in the pitch-black early morning.
When the time came for students to go on vacation, I suddenly became so busy that even two bodies wouldn’t be enough. Derek’s words—that I should build up my stamina in advance, whether by taking health supplements or exercising, since I’d have classes booked full-time from dawn until night—weren’t an exaggeration. There weren’t even a few hours of free time in a day, and I had to use those hours diligently to eat, sleep, and prepare for classes. With special Saturday classes added on, my weekends were cut in half too.
Once I started handling not just conversation classes but also test prep English classes, it took several times longer to prepare for lessons. Naturally, I had no time to see Jukyung’s face, and doing anything else at night without sleeping was unthinkable. I became satisfied with my current lifestyle and had somehow given up on preparing for public company recruitment exams.
As I got used to life in Korea and learned about various situations, I realized that even at large corporations, the salary was mere pocket change. More than anything, the time you had to be tied to the company while receiving that money was too long. To think that the longest vacation, summer break, was barely over a week—there was no joke quite like that.
If I got a proper job, I was also thinking about saving up money appropriately and then moving over to Europe. In European corporate culture, you could get at least a month or more of summer vacation. Anyway, Leroy’s economics department was a brand that worked to some degree in Europe, and taking a year or two off before getting employed wasn’t a big flaw there.
Of course, on the other hand, separate from employment, other thoughts were gradually rising. Once my life settled down a bit and I had some breathing room, there was something I wanted to do. Though it was still something I couldn’t confidently talk about even to myself.
Then a thought suddenly occurred to me.
“Kwon Jukyung will continue working at his company in Korea.”
I felt strangely vague. Though it wasn’t a fact I hadn’t known anyway. A beta man and an omega man in a sex partner relationship. One side even had someone else he had feelings for. Even if I stayed in Korea, it was a relationship that would break someday. Somehow I let out an empty laugh. I shrugged my shoulders at the suddenly chilled feeling in my body.
Honestly, it was amazing that the relationship had lasted for nearly half a year. Probably that was largely because we were entangled in a debt relationship. And right now, to some extent, we were also at a stage where we were indulging in each other’s bodies.
Ah, so that’s why some problems arose too.
Once, I was so tired that even though it was Saturday, I fell asleep in the middle of having sex. It wasn’t even that I fell asleep exhausted after doing it several times, but while Jukyung was working hard to get my penis up. The next day, I had to cautiously watch Jukyung’s mood while circling around him, even though I didn’t particularly think I’d done anything wrong. Kwon Jukyung said he wasn’t angry since it was because I was tired, but somehow his expression was stiff all day. Then he suddenly said this:
“Can’t you just do classes only in the morning or only in the afternoon like before?”
Even though he acted like he knew perfectly well how the world works, he occasionally said such clueless things like that.
“I was thinking about dropping just one or two time slots because I was finding it a bit hard too, but Derek told me not to. It’s hard to find instructors who’ll only work during vacation, so the front desk would hate it, and then after vacation ends there’s a chance I could lose even my regular classes. Rather, if I do well during vacation and the atmosphere is good, I can continue with regular classes in spring too. And if I only teach part-time classes every time, when will I ever pay back all your money?”
“Well, that’s…”
Jukyung seemed about to argue back with something more, then just closed his mouth. The talk about reducing classes went right back in. Well, he’d have nothing to say. He couldn’t say I didn’t need to pay back the money when his own situation wasn’t great either.
But he still didn’t relax his displeased expression for a while. Once you get a taste for sex, is it hard to quit? Honestly, since my body was exhausted, I wasn’t really sure what there was to miss. Well, what could I do about it? Derek said that earning money legally, without hardship, and easily—there’s nothing like that except being born with good parents.
Hearing those words, it was true that I had grown up without any material difficulties at least, thanks to my father. Perhaps I enjoyed all the luxury I’d have for a lifetime during my childhood. Even if I wouldn’t enjoy such luxury again in the future, at least I was freed from the gazes that looked at me with disapproval, and since my body and mind were free, I wasn’t regretful.
“……”
When things were hard like these days, it wasn’t that I wasn’t regretful at all, but well, anyway.
During the last time slot of the first week of the semester, I entered class holding what must have been my umpteenth cup of coffee that day. I briefly sat down, closed my tired eyes, and waited for the class bell to ring, when I suddenly heard a commotion and opened my eyes. Someone was standing in front of me, blocking the light and casting a shadow, and a course registration confirmation was placed on the table. It’s what students submit when they enter a new class. What kind of person enrolls when a whole week has already passed?
With a weary mind and no particular emotion, I picked up the registration form while trying to put on a business-like smile, then froze solid. It was because the name printed on the small piece of paper was far too familiar.
Kwon Jukyung?
No, well, it’s not such a rare name, but… Thinking that, somehow the clothes before my eyes seemed familiar too. As I raised my face, my mouth fell open.
“I’ll be attending class from today, Teacher.”
Why is Kwon Jukyung here?
While my brain functions stopped for a moment at the unexpected situation, Jukyung slightly raised an eyebrow at me, then calmly found a corner seat and sat down nonchalantly. Kwon Jukyung squeezed in huddled together with the students in the small, cramped classroom. It was a picture that didn’t suit him even if it didn’t suit him at all. His tall height and sparkling appearance looked far too out of place.
At the sound of the starting bell ringing, I came to my senses and barely tore my gaze away from Kwon Jukyung. Looking around at the students whose faces were now starting to become quite familiar, they too were sneaking glances at Jukyung. Watching that somehow made me feel a bit upset inside. He looked like he’d stopped by home, so why didn’t he just throw on some sweats or something instead of coming all neat and tidy like that?
I tapped the table to gather the students’ attention to me and put on my business smile to the fullest. I proceeded with the class trying my best not to look in Jukyung’s direction. It was a time that felt several times longer than usual.
“You’re better than I thought.”
After class ended and all the students had left, leaving just the two of us, Jukyung spoke as if surprised. I stopped the pretense of dawdling around cleaning up and stood up from my seat. I didn’t hide my absurd feelings and let them show.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“What would I be doing at an English academy? Studying English.”
Jukyung answered matter-of-factly. I was flabbergasted.
“Hey, you graduated from university in England.”
And if I remembered correctly, Jukyung said he’d also attended school in America. So his English, though it mixed American and British accents, was perfect enough in intonation and pronunciation that you’d believe him if he said English was his native language.
“That’s a different story from official test scores. Anyway, the company is telling me to submit scores, even if just formally, but I have no test-taking skills.”
“You could just solve some practice tests a few times on your own, what academy?”
I was even teaching as an instructor after studying and taking tests on my own.
“Trying to do it alone was boring and tedious.”
Kwon Jukyung followed behind me as I turned off the classroom lights and left.
“Are academy classes fun or something?”
“Yeah. Watching you act like that in front of me is funny, so it’s better than watching TV alone at home.”
“Ah, seriously.”
My face ended up turning red. Honestly, I thought I’d die from embarrassment and awkwardness during class time. He didn’t even do what I told him to do and just kept staring at me. I deliberately tried not to make eye contact, absolutely never placing my gaze toward where Jukyung was sitting, but since the classroom wasn’t spacious, I couldn’t help what naturally entered my vision.
So the talk about test scores was probably just an excuse. I doubted there was a company that would ask English-speaking study abroad students to submit English scores. It’s just a trick because he’s bored playing alone in the evening and wants to mess with me.
