Eternal Separation
“……Haah.”
A faint breath, nearly severed, scattered futilely toward the canopy of the canopy bed. The imperial physicians filling the chamber had long since prostrated themselves flat on the floor, their faces uniformly ashen.
They instinctively knew that the moment that small breath ceased, their own lives would be forfeit as well. But knowing this changed nothing they could do. Even if Hua Tuo himself returned from the dead, it would be impossible to save this person.
“It will be revealed soon enough anyway.”
The Emperor spoke. Though his voice sounded indifferent at first glance, he still seemed unaware that pretending to be calm only made him look more pathetic.
Clad in his golden dragon robe, the Emperor was now kneeling before the bed, having forgotten even his dignity, clutching the hand of the one lying there.
Unable to hold onto the thread of life hanging by a moment with anything else, he had grasped the hand instead. His desperation was beyond words, bordering on tragic.
“So just tell me.”
“……”
“Who was it?”
As if finding it difficult to speak, the other person barely shook their head.
“Who gave you what?”
“……”
“……You insolent creature!”
The Emperor, naturally savage in temperament, unable to contain his rage, struck down with his left hand at the porcelain placed beside the bed. The ornate porcelain shattered into pieces in an instant under his fierce strength.
A shard that flew off with a sharp explosive sound drew a red line across the cheek of a nearby eunuch, but he couldn’t make even a groan, let alone a breath. The same was true for the other palace servants standing by—every one of them prostrated themselves on the floor to protect their bodies.
The Emperor, who had roared unable to bear his surging anger, gritted his teeth, then pulled the hand he was holding with even more forceful strength right up to his face. The hand was already cold as ice.
“Why?”
Pressing that freezing hand against his own cheek, he looked down at the one struggling to release their last breath. Astonishingly, moisture welled up in the Emperor’s eyes.
He had never cried since birth. Feeling his chest constrict, the Emperor furrowed his delicate brow to the limit and recalled a certain day from the not-so-distant past.
A fresh spring day.
He remembered the figure wearing white silk garments pure as pear blossoms before the hall of Yeongnyeong Palace, where pear blossoms bloomed profusely.
Had his lower body reacted first to that slender waist wrapped loosely with a jade-green belt, or was it……
“Your, Your great Imperial Majesty. I p-pay my respects to His Imperial Majesty. Long live His Imperial M-Majesty, long live, l-long, long long live.”
Had it been first the desire to torment the one who trembled like a frightened beast while clumsily offering greetings?
Or perhaps,
“……I miss Wol.”
“……”
“I miss Gang too.”
Had it been first that those innocent eyes, unable to hide an excited heart upon entering the palace to see his younger sister, had captured his interest?
Ha. The Emperor laughed coldly. He squeezed the hand he was holding hard enough to crush it.
“Did I not tell you to endure?”
“……”
“Why do you always,”
As if finding it difficult to swallow his anger, the Emperor stopped speaking and clenched his teeth until his jaw bulged. Anguish filled those gem-like beautiful eyes.
“Why do you always defy my words?”
Every syllable was filled with resentment. At that moment, the one lying down suddenly coughed up blood. It was blood black as death. Finally, a tear fell from the Emperor’s eye.
“……Your Majesty.”
“……How can you do this to me?”
As if afraid of what words would follow, the Emperor squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in the other’s cold hand. Soon his mouth opened again.
Live, he pleaded in a low voice.
“Your Majesty, I’m in too much pain. I want to rest now.”
“……”
“……This is my final wish.”
“I refuse.”
Stay by my side forever.
The Emperor glared with eyes filled with an eerie light, speaking with a voice like frost. But what use was any of that? Even he, positioned above all people, could do nothing in such a moment.
The other person said nothing more. No, they could say nothing more.
“Sansan.”
“……”
“Sansan-ah.”
It was because the other’s breath had finally ceased.
The Emperor lifted his face from Sansan’s palm. Blinking his reddened eyes slowly, he rose smoothly and placed his ear against Sansan’s chest. He couldn’t feel a heartbeat.
Anguish surged deep into his lungs. It surged in until he couldn’t even breathe. The more it did, the darker his gaze sank.
“……Sansan.”
The Emperor embraced the dead Sansan with crushing force. The one who used to cry at the slightest touch whenever he held him now showed not even tears.
That sense of loss pressed down on the Emperor with indescribable weight.
To lose even your tears.
The Emperor couldn’t leave the bed for a long time while holding Sansan in his arms. Only after more than two shichen had passed and Sansan’s corpse had grown stiff did he reluctantly lay Sansan down and rise.
“……I must resume the personal interrogation.”
His face now completely expressionless, the Emperor walked unhesitatingly toward the outside of the hall. The prostrated palace servants all jumped up at once and hurriedly followed the Emperor with terror-stricken faces.
Before Geoncheonggung Palace, already a sea of blood, consorts and secondary consorts were endlessly dragged in under collective punishment. If one counted the palace servants under them, the number exceeded several hundred. The inner palace filled with the stench of blood. Even so, the Emperor’s fury showed no signs of abating.
Over several days, the nine generations of those involved were exterminated. No one knew exactly how many died during this time. Some said thousands, others said tens of thousands. But whether thousands or tens of thousands, no one disagreed that it was a hellish scene of utter chaos.
“Foolish thing.”
Having made even the survivors live in fear of being dragged out at any moment, starting at even the flutter of curtains in the wind, the Emperor visited Mianggung Palace alone on the seventh day after Sansan’s death.
Upon passing through the main gate of Mianggung Palace, a red screen wall immediately entered the Emperor’s empty gaze. In the very center of the screen wall, the character ‘gilsang’ (auspiciousness) was inlaid in gold, and on either side were decorations with the ‘man’ (ten thousand) character pattern. This meant ‘ten thousand years of auspiciousness.’ The five golden bats gorgeously surrounding the characters also symbolized wishes for many blessings and longevity.
The Emperor couldn’t take his eyes off the screen wall for quite a while. Then he laughed as if exhausted. Soon he walked around the screen wall and headed with unhesitating steps toward the depths of the rear hall, the Dongchogan chamber—Sansan’s sleeping quarters.
Even having lost its master, it was maintained just as it had been when the master was alive. The Emperor walked around the sleeping quarters, touching things one by one with his fingertips, and eventually stopped before a white silk pillow placed ambiguously on the bed.
Though those who had served the master had all been beheaded, there was probably no palace servant within this imperial palace who didn’t know of Sansan’s pillow.
“Your, Your Majesty. Please don’t do this. Gang, Gang will be frightened.”
Unable to accept the prince’s death, whether he had gone mad or what, he had carried around the silk pillow as if it were the prince. Even the head court lady newly assigned to oversee Mianggung Palace at his command seemed unable to bear removing it.
The Emperor sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the pillow. It was excessively worn and soiled to be a noble consort’s possession. It made sense, as he had refused to let it go from his embrace while alive.
Why had that made him so angry?
Carrying around such a thing—what was so important about it?
“Wretched thing.”
A tear fell onto the pillow.
He had been a foolish one. An actual simpleton who had been hidden and raised inside the house, so how foolish must he have been?
Haha. The Emperor burst into laughter. It was truly a hollow, empty laugh.
“Even great achievements and the realm hold no meaning.”
Even that foolishness—I found it lovely too, but there’s no one left to tell.
“Your Majesty, I’m in too much pain. I want to rest now.”
“I want to rest too, Sansan.”
The Emperor quietly looked down at the ring on his finger. It was something he never removed even when going to bed. The Emperor flipped the ring’s face toward his palm and turned over the green jade set in the ring like opening a lid. Then the small pearl inside revealed itself.
The Emperor took it in with his eyes once, then turned his gaze back toward the pillow.
“Why, why don’t you even regret it?”
He recalled Sansan on a certain day, wailing while looking at him as if unable to bear the heartache any longer.
“……I do regret it.”
The dryly expelled words scattered meaninglessly into the air. Words with no one to hear them.
The Emperor laughed again. And then immediately poured that pearl-like thing into his mouth. Crunch—he chewed and swallowed it while lying back on the bed.
Just as his foolish simpleton had done, this time it was the Emperor who embraced Sansan’s pillow as if it were the person himself.
Soon his breathing became constricted, and sounds grew distant all at once. Finally, his vision slowly, darkly stained.
Just as it was about to completely black out, the not-too-distant past flashed through his darkening mind like a revolving lantern.
You wretched, lovely thing. He murmured for the last time.
Though he had known him for merely one year, life held no meaning without him. It had been so, it had been so…….
Footnote:
Shichen (시진) – Time unit of 2 hours
