After the special stage, DearRune’s stage unfolded. Then, filming staff knocked on the door from outside the waiting room.
“Singers, please prepare to go up on stage!”
Only then did Go Won, who took his eyes off the screen, bow his head deeply.
“I’ll be going.”
“Do that.”
Even if not fresh, he’s also good at greetings.
***
“This week’s 1st place is, DearRune’s <Paradox>!”
With the announcement, colorful confetti poured over DearRune. Go Won clapped and bowed his head toward the opposing team, then cleared space for those coming to the center to give their impressions.
He positioned himself a little away from behind the MC. Then he stared straight ahead while DearRune gave their 1st place impressions.
General Manager Park said it was unfortunate, but Go Won was indifferent. Just standing here was already something he couldn’t dare imagine. The words that he’d get 1st place next week… honestly, it was hard to believe.
‘Could I really?’
The debut that had approached right before his eyes had nearly fallen through twice—could there be any guarantee another incident wouldn’t occur?
He felt like his innate total amount of luck was less than others, and meeting Baek Hanje and debuting was truly a miraculous thing.
He shouldn’t desire too much. If he got greedy, the crime of “how dare you” might attach and even what he currently had might be taken away.
“Although he unfortunately stopped at 2nd place by a narrow margin, please give a word to our Go Won-ssi who showed such a passionate stage.”
“I sincerely congratulate DearRune sunbae-nims. It was an honor just to stand together, and I will work even harder following the sunbae-nims.”
In the smile of the MC receiving the microphone back, the expression ‘boringly typical’ could be read. In fact, it was correct that he’d memorized what the agency had written according to the situation.
Had they expected him to show disappointed reactions?
But he truly had no regrets.
Ah, if there was just one lingering attachment.
Only the hypothesis that if this song Baek Hanje gave him had gone to someone else, they might have been able to get 1st place.
DearRune’s encore stage began and the singers who had been lined up behind the stage prepared to go down, bowing their waists to each other repeatedly.
“I’m envious. When will we get to stand in front?”
“Be reborn. Doesn’t seem possible in this life?”
“You bastard.”
From a little distance away, the voices of BigTree members who had shared the waiting room earlier could be heard. They also passed by looking at Go Won with envious eyes.
“……”
It was a strange feeling. His completely changed life sometimes felt like it wasn’t his own.
Go Won attached himself alone to the back of the crowd going down in groups. Then, his elbow was grabbed and pulled by someone.
“Go Won-ah!”
“…Kim Eumyul.”
He who had put together a special stage with a DearRune member was still wearing the pink school uniform that was his stage outfit.
“Long time no see. We couldn’t keep seeing each other after our debut fell through. During Debut Chart we saw each other’s faces almost every day.”
“That’s right.”
“Man, you’re still quiet as ever. How on earth did you say those impressions earlier? Was it perhaps a script?”
“……”
It was a script, but Go Won didn’t particularly affirm it.
At the final ranking announcement ceremony of <Debut Chart! 100>, Go Won and Kim Eumyul had been standing waiting for the 1st place announcement just like DearRune and Go Won moments ago.
Except back then, flower petals poured over Go Won and the microphone was given to him first. The survival show’s final 1st place was Go Won, 2nd place was Kim Eumyul.
Kim Eumyul looked Go Won over from head to toe.
“Mm, really cool. As expected, K-dum is different. The stage really showed you spent a lot of money too. Ah, do I have to call you sunbae-nim? No, right? It’s okay, right?”
“Do as you’ve been doing.”
“Ah, as expected. I knew you’d be like that. Did you see me perform? How was it?”
Kim Eumyul asked the very question Go Won had wanted to ask Baek Hanje.
‘Sunbae-nim, how was my stage?’
Go Won thought it was good he didn’t bother asking Baek Hanje. Having no interest, there were no words to answer when hearing the question.
He did watch the collab stage closely, but earlier he’d been watching DearRune’s member Hari, not Kim Eumyul. Since she was a member in DearRune’s dance position, there were many parts to reference.
“You did well.”
“Ah, really?”
“Yeah.”
He hoped they’d part ways appropriately around here, but the other person kept following him throughout walking down the corridor past the backstage.
“Phew, but compliments I hear from you don’t really hit home completely. You got scouted to K-dum and debuted, and with your debut song you stood side by side with DearRune sunbae-nims as 1st place candidates. So I probably don’t seem particularly amazing to you.”
“……”
“How’s K-dum? Henzel sunbae-nim wrote your song, did you meet yACE too?”
Eventually, before reaching the waiting room, he had no choice but to stop briefly in an unpopulated place.
“Kim Eumyul.”
This was why Kim Eumyul was awkward. Go Won wasn’t basically a sociable personality, but he was to the degree of feeling glad to see friends who went through hell together on the survival program.
But Kim Eumyul and some around him weren’t. Because the words they spoke intimately always contained other meanings.
“What do you want to say?”
When Go Won asked stiffly, Kim Eumyul quickly changed his expression and waved his hands.
“It’s between friends, so I’m honestly saying I’m envious, but if you look at me like that, what can I say to you?”
“……”
“Actually, our debut got pushed back because of Choi Songhyeon’s drunk driving accident. The debut group got scrapped because of him and we recombined trainees… there were a lot of things.”
What am I supposed to do about it?
These few words of conversation were more tiring than dancing intensely on stage. Go Won swallowed his sigh inwardly.
“You’ll be able to debut soon too.”
“Can you say ‘you guys’? There are many kids on our team that you know too.”
…Right. Coming out like this was the most annoying.
“We relied on each other a lot during missions, and it was really disappointing without you. Why, when you used to go practice alone during Debut Chart, everyone found out late and followed you. When you disappeared, the kids seemed to have nothing to stimulate them. As expected, it’s Go Won.”
“……”
Though it was a meeting after about a year since the project group dissolved, Kim Eumyul hadn’t changed.
No, rather, back then he would have just ignored and passed by.
The reason Go Won was listening to Kim Eumyul’s story now was because he understood the despair of having a debut fall through.
Kim Eumyul’s state, having met the misfortune that he himself had barely been able to avoid, seemed a bit strange somewhere.
As Go Won looked down at him silently, cracks eventually appeared in the expression that had been smiling and gently scratching at Go Won.
“Haha, Won-ah. I knew you were cold-hearted during every team mission, but… you’re proving again that such an attitude produces the best results…. You always seem amazing.”
“…Well.”
“Songhyeon, you know he followed you well. If you’d held him properly, maybe he wouldn’t have done drunk driving.”
“……”
“Won-ah, you know. I’ve been a trainee longer than you though. It’s my 4th year this year. But solo hits a limit eventually. You inevitably get mentally shaken, and carrying all schedules alone doesn’t make sense physically either.”
“That’s enough,”
When he thought he should cut off the conversation soon.
“Won-ah, you know. I’ve been doing singer activities longer than you though? It’s my 13th year this year. Compared to the danger of a bastard member trolling in a group, it seems better to carry everything alone.”
A different voice interjected into the conversation. The sullen voice approached one step at a time.
“Ah, of course I’m not talking about myself. All six of us are a perfect group.”
Baek Hanje who stood in front of the two glanced at Go Won. When he glared sideways with irritation added to his already fierce eyes, it became an even scarier impression.
“I thought you weren’t coming so what were you doing where, but you’re being subjected to some trivial gaslighting.”
“Oh my, Hanje-ya.”
General Manager Park, surprised by the shocking words, tried to stop him but Baek Hanje was faster.
“Go Won’s friend hoobae-nim. Friends who go on survival programs are all young, right? But they should have at least gained enough experience to have minimal discernment. Isn’t that right?”
“Ah, I, sunbae-nim….”
“If someone does drunk driving just because Go Won didn’t give advice, they would’ve done it originally anyway, and if a team fails without this kid, they’d fail anyway.”
At Baek Hanje’s sudden appearance, Kim Eumyul looked back at Go Won with a flustered and intimidated expression. If this had been a survival program, it probably would have been a good editing point.
He soon dropped his head with a watery voice.
“Sunbae-nim, I just had really good chemistry with Won, so it’s disappointing….”
“Is it disappointment?”
Baek Hanje’s eyes rounded.
“Not regret?”
“……”
“It’s a subtle difference but that, it’s quite different.”
