“What’s with the spark…”
As I was brushing off a spark that had landed on Kiss’s thigh, I felt something touch my palm and narrowed my eyes. Feeling dumbfounded, I let out a hollow laugh and asked pointedly.
“You told me you didn’t have anything to eat… What’s this baguette? Take it out right now, in a crisis like this we should share even a single bean.”
“What does that mean?”
“Huh? Obviously it means it’s cowardly to secretly eat food alone…”
Before I could finish speaking, my wrist that had been brushing his thigh was grabbed. Just as I was grimacing at the grip that seemed like it would break my wrist, my body froze the moment I confirmed Kiss’s expression.
“Are you worried about Deus?”
In the original work, Kiss wasn’t shaken by any situation. Because everything was within his expectations, and he had an unpleasant clairvoyance that could see right through human desires.
Kiss only truly showed emotions when he needed to appear as an ‘honest person,’ or when he was acting to use someone. Kiss never allowed his true self to be revealed no matter what.
‘Why is he angry?’
That’s why when Kiss blatantly displayed the emotion of anger, my mind couldn’t help but go blank. Because his current behavior was completely unlike Kiss. I unconsciously reached out toward Kiss, who was glaring at me with lifeless eyes as if he wouldn’t back down until he got an answer.
“This… isn’t my fever.”
“…”
“It’s heat coming from Kiss-nim.”
My eyes widened as soon as I pressed my palm against Kiss’s forehead. When Kiss had touched my forehead before entering the inn, I had thought his hand was unusually hot, but my mistake was complacently thinking it was fever from the weak Ash. At my flustered appearance, Kiss spoke expressionlessly.
“Really? That’s strange, I shouldn’t have a fever or anything.”
“How can you call that… Then what, is it your heat?”
When I made a joke with a hollow laugh, an unexpectedly long silence flowed. The smile gradually disappeared from my lips as I waited for Kiss to return the joke.
First, I calmed my mind and surveyed my surroundings. The vase on the table—an excellent weapon if I could swing it to strike his head, but it seemed out of reach. The crowbar neatly placed by the door—if Kiss managed to take it from me, it would rather be a disaster. Then bare fists? Rather, I’d be guilty of the crime of using my fists and he’d use his own fist on my there…
“Ash.”
“…”
“I get what you’re worried about, but…”
After the bombshell statement that males were also possible, my wariness toward Kiss was at its peak. Kiss sighed as he watched me spread my wings of imagination with a face that had turned pale. And he spoke in a voice more sane than ever.
“You’re not my type.”
Ah, I see.
“But we should use separate rooms, just in case I lose my rationality.”
I nodded at Kiss’s words. Come to think of it, I don’t think it came up in the original work how beastmen handle their heat. Well, won’t he just jerk off a few times and be done with it? Actually, since it’s not my business, I’m not that worried, hahahahahaha…
CRASH!
I flinched at the roar heard from outside the door. Along with an unidentifiable rumbling sound, the doorknob that had been locked when we entered rattled and turned.
Rattle, rattle.
The doorknob that turned several more times only quieted down after another 30 seconds passed. Since there couldn’t be other guests in this inn that was no different from an abandoned house, that must be… a monster.
My imagination circuit that had been temporarily suspended started running again. After going through various processes, at the end of the simulation, I was being displayed hung in the marketplace, my entire body torn to shreds into rags.
“Well then, I’ll be going to the room next door now. Let’s each survive on our own.”
“…”
“By the way, I’m a heavy sleeper so I won’t hear you even if you scream.”
The moment Kiss, who had finished speaking calmly, tried to leave the room, I hastily grabbed his wrist. I spoke in a respectful voice toward Kiss, who was looking at me as if asking if I had more to say.
“Might you need an attendant to serve you while you sleep?”
“Nope, I don’t need one.”
After answering, Kiss opened the door and left without hesitation. After silently locking the door, I hurriedly covered myself with the blanket, but only for a moment before getting up again to grab the crowbar and lying back down. I closed my eyes with a complicated heart.
Let me do an acrostic poem with Ash’s name.
Ash: My pitiful life.
Sh: Fuck.
* * *
After confirming the sound of the door locking with a click, Kiss sat down leaning against the wall. And he gripped the sword hilt tightly so he could draw his sword at any time. Since he had confirmed there were monsters in the inn, he had to stand guard all night. Kiss frowned at his intermittently blurring vision. His condition was definitely more serious than last time.
‘Is it because of the Dark Magic?’
Unlike the original world, a power called ‘Dark Magic’ existed in the Void world. Even a healthy adult male would often die instantly as if poison spread through the body if addicted to this Dark Magic. There were two ways to avoid Dark Magic addiction: either having originally powerful magic, or having strong Divine Power. That’s why when he met Ash again, Kiss couldn’t help but be surprised. Because Ash was far too fine.
‘It would have been better if he had died.’
He clenched his hand that was trembling finely from the high fever. If Ash had died here, he could have fought Deus more comfortably. When he first found Ash in the Void, Kiss’s sword was pointed not at Deus but at Ash. Because he had judged that Ash would rather be in the way during the fierce battle with Deus. The moment he was about to slash Ash’s white nape with his sword, an unwavering voice pierced his ears.
<That person called a guest. It seems… he’s the person I love. He definitely came to save me. So I’d appreciate it if you didn’t attack first or do anything rough like that… I’ll do anything instead.>
<What does it mean to love?>
Even while hearing the desperate confession directed at him, Kiss didn’t feel particularly moved. Because the one who designed Ash to love Kiss in the first place was none other than Kiss himself. However, at Ash’s following answer, Kiss felt for the first time like his heart was sinking.
<It’s when my entire world changes into that person.>
The face of his mother, which he had forgotten for a while, flashed through his mind. Toward him who couldn’t easily let people close, she had said something similar in a gentle voice.
<Kiss, to love someone means, you see, that your entire world changes into that person. Your beliefs, your values. It’s an emotion that makes everything meaningless.>
The first thought that came was ‘why?’ In Kiss’s world, Ash was the gem the demon cherished most. That’s why he wanted to destroy it. He wanted to shatter it to pieces. He denigrated and hated even the radiance the gem shed as ugly light. But the moment that radiance wasn’t ugly but became beautiful, Kiss felt like his blind hatred was pointing not at Ash but at himself. That’s why he felt nauseous.
‘As expected, it won’t work. After dealing with Deus, that guy too…’
As long as he had a goal more important than life, he wanted to avoid being emotionally swayed as much as possible. Whatever happened in the Void, no one would know anyway. After eliminating Ash, he just had to tell Lucius that he died from Dark Magic addiction in the Void.
‘It’s a simple problem, there’s no reason to hesitate.’
The corridor where no sunlight entered was dark. Like his bedroom that no one visited after his mother’s death. He just needed to get up and open it, but for a while he couldn’t open that door. Because the moment he opened that door and went out, his life would surely be filled with revenge. He often had absurd thoughts.
If at that time, someone had opened that door and entered, would his life have changed even a little? Not a miserable life where he didn’t create precious things for the sake of revenge, but could he have enjoyed happiness ordinarily?
Creak.
While he was lost in thought, the door that had definitely been locked tight slowly opened. At the same time, bright light entered the dark corridor. A faint light formed in Kiss’s unfocused eyes from the high fever.
“I can’t do it after all.”
Ash, backlit, slowly walked over and crouched down. The strength slowly drained from Kiss’s hand that had been gripping the sword hilt ready to draw at any time. Ash continued in an awkward voice.
“I’ve been sick alone before too, you know.”
“…”
“It feels really crappy, that.”
A hand so pale that all the veins showed through pressed against the forehead burning with fever. Unlike the composed face, the trembling hand was amusing. It seemed he was afraid of monsters that could appear at any moment. For some reason, he recalled young Ash chasing after him crying with scraped knees.
‘That’s what I hate most about you.’
Pretending his head was heavy from the fever, he leaned his head on Ash’s shoulder. He felt Ash flinch then slowly begin to stroke his back. Kiss let out a small laugh at the clumsy touch that wasn’t helpful at all.
‘I really hate it.’
