Chapter 3
A few days later, I went downtown to buy clothes. Copenhagen, where I’d recently been for work, wasn’t as hot as I’d expected, which made Paris feel much more stifling in comparison.
While walking absentmindedly through the streets, I glanced to the side and happened to notice a large bookstore.
Since there were only small bookstores near my home, encountering a bookstore with what appeared to be a wide variety of books made me forget my plan to buy clothes entirely.
As I entered as if enchanted, I saw a familiar figure from behind.
A person with short black hair wearing a cool-looking sleeveless shirt. It was Usang, with whom I’d recently been exchanging messages.
Seeing him browsing books in the bestseller section, I hesitated over whether I should approach him.
What if it becomes awkward if I talk to him?
Still, since I wanted to look at books in the bestseller section anyway, I casually approached and spoke to him.
“Hello?”
“Ah, hello, Teo.”
“Yes, have you been well? I see you came to look at books.”
“Yes, I’ve been fine. I was looking to buy a gift for a friend.”
Usang answered me with a slight smile at the corner of his mouth.
He and I had exchanged light text messages about each other for several days. When I’d like to come see the performance, if there were any dates that didn’t work, if I originally liked dance, and so on.
He seemed to be a person who generally didn’t talk much, and he didn’t often share personal stories either.
The personality that came through in his messages was, as expected, extremely calm.
Because of that, I wondered if he might be the type to avoid meeting people, but seeing him smile lightly at me like before, perhaps he was somewhat satisfied with our meeting.
“What genre does your friend like? I like that book. I’ll recommend something for you.”
“Really? Well, actually I’m not sure, but I think she liked romance. She’s a woman who liked romantic movies.”
“I see.”
Unfortunately, romance was a genre I hadn’t read since Pride and Prejudice. My confidence dropped sharply, and I glanced around.
As I hesitated, not knowing where to reach, Usang said it was fine and picked up a book with a soft-looking cover. I remembered it wasn’t romance but was quite a good essay.
“That book is pretty good. It has a lot of light and pleasant stories.”
“Is that so? Then I’ll go with this. Thank you.”
“No problem.”
“Ah, I have other books I need to look at, so if you need to find any books, don’t worry about me and go ahead.”
I said okay and looked around at the newly arrived books.
Since it had been a long time since my last visit, there were many books I wanted to read. When I went to the counter to pay, Usang followed behind me and lined up at the checkout.
After I finished my payment, I watched Usang checking out and became curious about his smooth speech with the clerk.
How long has he been living in Paris?
Usang’s French was very neat and easy to listen to, except for some pronunciation.
His grammar was good too, and he skillfully used words that one wouldn’t know without living locally.
Honestly, his French was more pleasant to listen to than that of other French people who often used rough language.
But as I was still cautious about asking personal questions, my mind was spinning when he approached me.
“If you don’t mind, would you like to have coffee together at a café? Do you have time?”
“Yes, yes. I have plenty of time. That sounds good—I don’t have any plans today, actually.”
“That’s good. Have you eaten?”
“Yes. I ate before coming out.”
Usang politely asked me and then led me to a nice café nearby.
But anyone could see that it was still awkward between us.
He didn’t seem to talk much, and since I could count on one hand the times I’d had lengthy conversations with someone, it was an understandable situation. We sat at a terrace and ordered coffee; he ordered a double espresso, and I ordered a macchiato with extra cream.
“You seem to like sweet things.”
He asked me with a somewhat excited face.
“Yes. Ah, at home I usually drink black coffee, but when I’m out, I tend to drink sweet things.”
To my words that somehow sounded like an excuse, Usang casually replied “Is that so?” and rested his chin in his hand as he looked at me.
“……”
During the brief pause in conversation, a server brought our coffees and swiftly disappeared.
Taking a sip of coffee made my stifled feelings somewhat better.
“Is Teo French?”
“…Yes. But Paris isn’t my hometown. It’s such a rural area that you wouldn’t know it even if you heard the name.”
I lied naturally, recalling the false hometown information written on my ID.
“I see. I’m sorry. I don’t usually ask questions like this, but it’s the first time I’ve met a non-dancer who likes my dancing.”
“Really? I thought Usang would have tons of fans. Even on stage that day, you stood out the most…”
Even now he didn’t seem to talk much, but apparently by his standards, he was currently in an extremely talkative state.
Usang was observing me sideways as if I were a strange animal he was seeing for the first time.
He seemed to think it wasn’t noticeable, but being more sensitive than most people, I immediately recognized that look.
He didn’t seem to be the same type of person as me, but it was the first time I’d received such a look from an ordinary person, which somehow made me feel sweat on my back.
Seeing his eyes staring at me without smiling, I didn’t know where to place my gaze.
“It might sound funny to say this, but I’m kind of… famous in the dance world. But peculiarly, the consumers of contemporary dance are all dancers themselves. So it’s my first time hearing the opinion of a non-professional. I don’t particularly depend on others’ evaluations, but still, I’ve been really happy these past few days because you liked it, Teo.”
“I’m glad you felt good because of me…”
Out of embarrassment, I turned my gaze away while pressing my fingers on the table.
“The next performance is already next week, right?”
“Yes. I need to go to practice in a few hours today too. I was wondering what to do until practice, but I’m glad I met you, Teo.”
He slightly raised the corner of his mouth and smiled again. I stared blankly at that smile and then shook my head in denial.
“When did you come to Paris?”
I asked the question I was curious about.
“I’ve been properly settled here for a little over a year. I studied in England, but came here often for performances then, and even when I lived elsewhere before, I came frequently for work trips. So the city itself is familiar to me.”
“I see.”
For someone like me who’d never heard someone else’s life story directly from them, this foreign man’s story couldn’t help but be interesting.
I’d also traveled a lot from place to place, but since I hadn’t worked or attended school in other countries myself, Usang’s stories about different countries were very fascinating.
“What about you, Teo? You said you’re not from Paris.”
“I came about two years ago. I occasionally go out for work trips, and Paris has good… accessibility, so that’s why I’m here.”
“May I ask what you do for work?”
“Just, import-export business.”
Other contract killers trade in organs, so perhaps I’m a similar type.
He responded with interest to everything I said, and I didn’t mind that.
Wondering if properly conversing with someone was always such a heart-pounding affair, I somehow couldn’t keep still.
I tormented my fingertips in a position where Usang couldn’t see, and responded to his words with a bit of excitement.
Moments that I thought would be awkward passed instantly, and we talked for a long time without realizing how time was passing.
We only talked about things we liked, things we wanted to do, and big topics, but as the time to part approached, both Usang and I seemed reluctant.
“Well then, I’ll come see your performance. I enjoyed today.”
“Yes, if we get the chance, let’s meet once more before the performance.”
“Ah.”
“Please keep in touch.”
With the book he’d bought at the bookstore in one hand, Usang left. Looking at his back, I felt a tingling sensation in my chest. One side of my heart felt heavy. I’d thought that interacting with people wasn’t great, but now I thought that this wasn’t so bad either.
No, in fact, it was very enjoyable.
I got on the bus with the bag containing books in one hand. Because it was still bright daytime, I hadn’t checked the time, but it was already past seven. Somehow my stomach was loudly announcing that it was hungry.
The passing scenery was changing through and through. The Eiffel Tower, which I normally had no interest in, seemed quite radiant.
After looking at the books cradled in my arms and checking my phone, I saw a message from Usang saying he’d had fun. I smiled faintly and replied to the message.
“Ça me fait plaisir que tu as passé du bon temps.” (I also had fun, thanks to you.)
After getting off the bus and arriving home, I carefully placed the books on the desk.
And only then did I realize that I’d originally gone out to buy clothes.
My empty hands felt awkward.
Ah… how could I be so stupid.
But it was okay.
Couldn’t I just go out once more before the performance?
I smiled slightly and recalled Usang’s face. The faint smile he’d directed at me wouldn’t leave my mind.
With these idle thoughts, somehow I felt like I would sleep well tonight.
***
As I expected, obviously, I couldn’t go shopping until the day before the performance.
I had places I needed to contact, and since the content couldn’t be discussed outside, I had to wait at home for several days.
Before I knew it, it was already the day before the performance. I sighed softly, grabbed my wallet, and went downtown with a somewhat urgent feeling.
Just last week, strolling downtown with Usang and sightseeing around had seemed quite enjoyable, but coming out alone, downtown was just crowded and not fun at all.
My shoulders kept bumping into passersby, and the sensation was nothing but unpleasant.
“Damn it, what’s your problem?”
“I’m sorry…”
A passing man glared at me, annoyed by the small contact. I swallowed a sigh and left that place.
I still wasn’t accustomed to this country even after decades of living here. The stronger tone of the French people compared to people from my hometown was a hardship for me, who’d only interacted with people from my hometown.
Without time to look around, I quickly headed to the store I’d decided on.
After asking for the clothes I’d originally planned to buy, I tried them on roughly over my body and also purchased other clothes the clerk recommended.
“…Tired.”
After mechanically buying clothes and leaving the store, I only wanted to get home quickly.
As I looked around to see where to catch a bus, I saw a familiar person on the terrace of a restaurant at the end of the street.
Ah… Usang.
Usang was the only person I could consider familiar on the streets of Paris.
Even though Paris was said to be small, it was rare to run into someone repeatedly like this, so I carefully observed him with a curious expression.
Usang was being embraced by one woman and one man, smiling moderately. Seeing him smile without pushing away the people clinging to him—as if he didn’t mind—somehow Usang looked unfamiliar to me.
The place where Usang was seemed too different from my space. I could only stare blankly at that scene.
