Selection Tournament
(*The organizations and groups that appear have no relation to reality, and the rules may also differ.)
“Ahhhhh……!”
Jeong Minha lay face down on the bed, buried his face in the pillow, and screamed softly. It wasn’t a problem since the sound wasn’t loud enough to be heard in the next room.
“I’m trash….”
It was just his mental state that was the problem.
His mouth, which couldn’t even pronounce properly because of the pillow, said a few words then just made sounds like “urgh.”
The night before, the moment the fireworks started, Jeong Minha acknowledged his feelings for Seo Sihan.
‘Right, I like hyung. So what? Will it be a problem?’
……He wanted to rationalize it like that, but there were too many problems.
He’d come to like someone of the same sex, older than him, and moreover, someone helping him with pure fan affection. He felt guilty about himself constantly having weird imaginations about such an angel-like person.
To think I was trash repaying kindness with enmity….. Jeong Minha buried his face deep in the pillow again.
Then, around the time he couldn’t breathe, he lifted his head. Thinking about it, it was too unfair.
A situation where someone handsome, pretty, kind, nice, and anyway too perfect in every way says they’re a fan and treats you incredibly well.
In this situation, is there anyone who wouldn’t like them? Isn’t it natural for love to bloom? Of course it would be. Anyone else would have had the same reaction.
Jeong Minha briefly imagined Seo Sihan doing this to someone else. That person would also 100% definitely come to like Seo Sihan. Then those two would…… Ahhh, no! Hyung dating someone else?! When did he say he liked me the most!
He rolled around on the bed, imagined it alone, got pissed off, and just went completely wild.
‘……At least I’m lucky to be away from him right now.’
Literally, Jeong Minha wasn’t currently at Seo Sihan’s house. He was at some lodging much farther away.
* * *
After the fireworks ended last Saturday night, Jeong Minha came home in the car together in a daze with his thoughts broken. He didn’t remember well what kind of state of mind he came with. He stayed up all night for the first time in a while.
Eventually, greeting Sunday morning in a tired state, Jeong Minha gave Seo Sihan a same-day notice.
“Hyung, I have to go today.”
“Where to?”
“To lodging near the international shooting range… I have to compete starting tomorrow. There’s the Olympic national team selection tournament this year.”
“……What?”
Seo Sihan was so surprised he almost dropped his spoon. Why are you saying such important things on the morning of the same day while eating….. He wanted to say something, but he held back because Jeong Minha looked too tired. Rather, he felt sorry.
“If I’d known in advance, we wouldn’t have gone yesterday…. I’m sorry, you must be very tired from playing until late….”
“I’m not tired because of that. It was fun, it’s okay. I just couldn’t sleep well.”
“Ah…. Well, you’d be nervous since there’s a competition like that….”
“……”
Jeong Minha wasn’t particularly nervous about the competition. He only got nervous during the Olympics with countless cameras and people all over the world watching; quietly shooting indoors with just a few people was fine. Above all, he was confident he would shoot the best.
But he couldn’t tell the truth here.
Actually, I couldn’t sleep because of hyung. I became morning while agonizing all night over how sincerely I like hyung. I thought about how far I could go with hyung—want to hear?
……If he said that, he felt like he’d be kicked out of the house, never mind the selection tournament.
Jeong Minha acknowledged that he liked Seo Sihan, but he really agonized all night about how sincere it was. First, do I want to date? Seems like it. Want to hold hands? Yes. Want to hug? Please, me.
But thinking about it, he’d already done all the simple physical contact. Recalling it now, it was really crazy. It seemed like he’d be too nervous if told to do it again.
And he even thought about physical contact that real lovers would do. Could I even kiss? Imagining this far, he pounded the bed with his fist. Crazy, why is it possible?
Jeong Minha liked following memes but didn’t really like vulgar memes. Nevertheless, in this situation, only the word “possible” came to mind.
It doesn’t make sense. I like a guy? I even had a girlfriend?
Of course, he was a middle schooler then and they really only dated briefly, so they didn’t really progress. All the physical contact he was thinking about now was stuff he’d only seen in movies.
“……”
Substituting himself and Seo Sihan into romance drama scenes made his heart pound. Me, I like a guy…….
Just in case, he tried substituting his friend too. And immediately gave up in disgust. Ah, I think I’ll throw up. I want to kill him. He changed it back to Seo Sihan and imagined again. Hmm, why is it so exciting? I want to die.
That’s how Jeong Minha stayed up all night because of Seo Sihan.
Naturally, Seo Sihan, who didn’t know this fact, only worried about Jeong Minha who was barely eating breakfast. Rather, hearing the word “competition,” he was more nervous than Jeong Minha the athlete.
“Are you really okay? If you’re not feeling well when you have a competition….”
“I’m just tired, so I’ll be fine if I sleep well when I get there. Anyway, it’s not decided in one day, it goes on for a whole week…. And my skills won’t die from just this much.”
Even while sleepy, he spoke confidently, so Seo Sihan’s heart pounded in a different sense. He loved how he was always confident in his abilities and full of self-assurance. The fact that he actually delivered was the coolest part. If it were him, he would have been anxious and nervous just worrying for weeks beforehand.
He wanted to follow along too, but he couldn’t skip work to go to a schedule that went on for a week. He held back from wanting to quit his job for the first time.
“Will the food be good there? What should we do when Minha needs to eat a lot….”
“……”
Jeong Minha stopped using his chopsticks.
I’m going crazy because of hyung right now, but does hyung just think of me as a pig? Jeong Minha became sad and stopped eating breakfast.
Seeing Jeong Minha put down his chopsticks saying he was full, Seo Sihan fell into great shock.
“Minha…. Are you sick after all? This is the first time I’ve seen you leave food….”
“……”
“This won’t do, I should take time off and follow along—”
“No! I’m perfectly fine. Hyung, just go to work!”
“Okay….”
Jeong Minha desperately appealed that he was fine and immediately ate all the remaining rice. If he didn’t do this, Seo Sihan seemed like he would really skip work and follow along.
More than anything, even if it weren’t for that reason, it was better to be apart from Seo Sihan right now. If he kept sticking around unnecessarily, it seemed like his words or actions would come out wrong.
After that, Jeong Minha, who quickly finished preparing, packed his bags and got in the car. Since it was Sunday and Seo Sihan had time, he said he’d drop him off at the train station.
What should I say sitting in the next seat? Words didn’t come out well like usual. Whatever he tried to say, he got nervous feeling guilty alone.
“Minha, go to the back and sleep.”
Contrary to Jeong Minha’s worries, fortunately Seo Sihan recommended Jeong Minha get in the back seat. At his words to even recline the seat and just sleep, thinking it’s fortunate hyung is kind, he sat down.
“……?”
Come to think of it, he didn’t know since he always rode in front, but there were cushions in the back seat that he didn’t know when they’d appeared.
The tired Jeong Minha didn’t have the energy to say anything. He equipped everything from a doll neck pillow to a hugging doll cushion and closed his eyes.
Seo Sihan looked at such a Jeong Minha, felt proud, and smiled softly. Jeong Minha fell asleep immediately surrounded by squirrel dolls.
And so, Sunday evening. He had safely taken the train and arrived at the current lodging.
He should be concentrating on the competition opening tomorrow, but his head was completely overflowing with thoughts of Seo Sihan. Still, acknowledging his one-sided love did make him feel refreshed. Earlier too, recalling Seo Sihan waving at the train station to see him off made him smile automatically.
‘Ah, why does he only do cute things? ……I’m doomed. They said there’s no answer once they look cute.’
Jeong Minha, tired from staying up all night, rolled on the bed, giggled, and fell asleep.
* * *
Monday morning, competition day 1.
Jeong Minha was assigned to Group 1 in the air pistol division. Among about 50 people, proceeding in tournament format, he had to compete in a total of 5 rounds through the preliminaries and finals.
Entering the arena, Jeong Minha recognized a few people. They were athletes he remembered talking with a few times at competitions in the past.
And all the rest of the people recognized Jeong Minha. Since they were people who came to the selection tournament aiming for the national team, there was no way they wouldn’t recognize the silver medalist from the last Olympics.
Jeong Minha had even roughly swept his bangs back like during the Olympics so they wouldn’t interfere with shooting since it was a fairly important competition. On top of that, entering the arena with his glasses off and in his athlete uniform, there wasn’t a single person who didn’t recognize him. It was exactly the same appearance as 4 years ago.
People looked at Jeong Minha with eyes full of admiration, but also had questions.
He hadn’t appeared at any other competitions after the last Olympics so we thought he quit, but why is he suddenly appearing now? Is he only aiming for the Olympics? Come to think of it, I heard the team Jeong Minha was on back then disbanded. Something about the coach running away or something…. So did he change to individual participation?
People tensed up for a moment seeing the genius athlete appearing again after 4 years, then felt relieved realizing that Jeong Minha hadn’t appeared not only at competitions but also at training grounds during that time.
‘Having rested that much, it’ll be hard to show skills like before.’
“……”
And some who’d been seeing Jeong Minha at the same training ground since childhood just let out hollow laughs. This time’s first place was as good as decided. That’s because Jeong Minha…….
[10.1]
“……!”
Had never had his skills decline just because he rested.
