# Chapter 48
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Oliver, who came after two weeks, looked somewhat cautious. Having waited for him every day, I was glad to see his face, but somehow my fingertips felt tingly. Seeming to know this, Oliver also kept his mouth shut and just looked at me.
“I didn’t know you were coming today, so I left my gloves at home. Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Just take it.”
“Okay.”
Suddenly noticing Oliver’s thinner clothing, my own short-sleeved attire didn’t seem so bad. That was a relief. Since Oliver said there was something strange, this T-shirt had oddly felt uncomfortable, but now it seemed okay.
“……”
Oliver looked me over, acting as if he had something he wanted to say despite my silence.
‘Why is he doing this? Is he going to tell me that he’ll never see me again?’
An unfamiliar emotion was popping up. With this strange feeling, my fingertips itched like crazy. As I tormented my index finger with my nails for a while, he grabbed my fingers.
“You always do this when I keep quiet.”
“Do I?”
“Yes.”
Oliver sighed exaggeratedly and held my hand.
“Don’t do that. It hurts your fingers. I wanted to come sooner, but my mom prevented me from going out… But I found where the storage door is, so I think I can sneak out now.”
I was confused whether his words meant he would come to see me in the future or not, but for now I just nodded blindly. Oliver, whom I hadn’t seen for a while, told me about his school friends.
Stories about the school, which was a 30-minute drive from here, were the topics that excited me the most.
“These days I’m playing badminton for exercise. Have you ever played?”
“No.”
“I’ll bring a racket and shuttlecock from home later.”
Oliver spoke proudly, seeming excited. I nodded and begged him to tell me more. Talking with him after so long somehow made it feel like I could breathe freely again after having been suffocated.
That was a relief. I had been worried that I might have caught some illness, but it seemed it wasn’t anything serious.
Then, the sound of footsteps was heard from behind the bench. Oliver and I looked in that direction simultaneously, and as if sensing our gaze, the footsteps also stopped.
“Ichen.”
Startled by the voice calling my name, I got up from my seat and examined the unfamiliar person. Surprisingly, it was my uncle who visited maybe once a year.
As I awkwardly went toward my uncle, Oliver grabbed my arm.
“What’s this? We just met after a long time, where are you going?”
“Sorry. I have to go. I’ll see you again later.”
As I gently pulled my arm away, Oliver made a surprised expression and then suddenly shouted with a deeply furrowed face.
“I came to play with you because you have no friends, and you’re joking around now?!”
“I’m sorry.”
My apology seemed to make Oliver even angrier, but I had no choice. Oliver was important to me, but my uncle was even more important.
He was the only person who brought necessary things to the house. He didn’t visit often, but when my uncle was at home, my parents wouldn’t fight and would just spend time quietly.
So the period when he stayed at home was my greatest solace. Although he didn’t particularly talk to me or cherish me, just the fact that he didn’t hit me was enough for me to trust him.
Though we met after a long time, I had nothing to say to him. As I absentmindedly fiddled with my fingertips, he went into the house ahead of me.
“I’m home.”
“……”
I greeted my mother who was sitting at the table. She glared at me with a displeased expression, but seeing my uncle standing beside me, she remained silent.
Why did my parents never say anything to my uncle? My father was also standing beside him now, looking at my uncle and me.
“Go to your room.”
My uncle said, pushing my back. I nodded and went up to the second floor, but the voices from below grew louder with each step I took on the stairs. I thought about stopping to listen, but I didn’t think anything good would come from it.
If I could just have silence, I wouldn’t mind not hearing anything.
I want to live in a quiet place forever. I liked and wanted times when no one could disturb me. So to me, my uncle was like the savior from some book Oliver had told me about.
***
My uncle stayed at home longer than usual. In the past, he would have left after a week, but this time, he showed no intention of leaving even after more than two weeks.
The longer he stayed, the freer I felt.
Normally, I would have snuck outside avoiding my mother’s eyes, but now I could go outside boldly regardless of whether my parents were in the living room or not.
“Is that all the clothes you have?”
At that moment, my uncle yanked my nape from behind and asked. My throat tightened, causing me to cough, but I nodded first in response to his question.
The only clothes I had at home were a few short-sleeved T-shirts.
I used to wear other clothes my uncle had bought, but as I grew taller, the clothes became too small to wear.
After silently looking at me, he grabbed and pulled me somewhere.
“Where are we going?”
“Downtown.”
Downtown. My eyes widened at his words. That place, which took 30 minutes even by car, was like a dream to me. My parents seemed to occasionally go out by car, but of course, they never took me with them.
My uncle, who almost shoved me into the car, took the wheel and drove slowly. Sitting in the back seat looking at him, every one of his actions seemed extraordinary.
He was exactly the adult figure I wanted. He could do whatever he wanted, and even my noisy and oppressive parents couldn’t move in front of him.
“I want to be like you, uncle.”
“……”
To my thoughtlessly spoken words, he gave no answer. Always taciturn, he had never properly answered me. So it wasn’t particularly surprising. I looked at the scenery passing by outside the window. Although there was still nothing but forest around the house, after 10, 20 minutes, buildings began to appear sporadically.
The flashy and diverse buildings were always stimulating to me.
I thought there weren’t many people in the world, but seeing the densely packed buildings, I wondered how many people were confined there.
‘Am I really living in the same world as all these people?’
My mind was filled with questions. What do these people do with their lives? Not knowing anything, I guessed and imagined.
“Get out.”
Having parked the car at a suitable spot, he commanded. At my uncle’s words, I hurriedly opened the door and stepped outside, and a strangely warm breeze flowed over my body.
Near home, the cold wind blew piercingly, but here, perhaps because many people lived here, the air seemed to have warmth.
While I was looking around blankly, he grabbed my arm and headed somewhere. The place we arrived at was a clothing store that looked fancy.
The interior of the store I hadn’t visited for a long time was bright to the point of being dazzling, and enormous. As I looked around for a while, before long, my uncle headed somewhere without a word.
After he said something to an employee who was organizing clothes, soon the employee seemed to be introducing and recommending something to my uncle.
Having picked out some clothes, he went to the counter to pay. Throughout this process, he didn’t ask me a single thing. Of course, I had no thoughts about that.
“Let’s go.”
As if he had finished all his business even though it seemed he hadn’t done much, he led me out. Feeling somewhat disappointed, I kept looking around, but he paid no attention and put me in the car.
When I didn’t stay still in my seat and stuck my head out the window, he turned to look at me.
“Do you want to live downtown too?”
“Downtown?”
I pondered with round eyes. Do I want to live here? Of course, the city was like a dream to me, but I couldn’t be sure if I could actually live here.
“No. But I don’t like the current house.”
Since it was a question from my uncle who usually didn’t ask me questions, I thought for a while and then blurted out what I had been thinking.
“Really?”
He seemed lost in thought and didn’t answer further, focusing on driving. Seeing the passing scenery, I no longer cared what he had said to me.
I had no thought that I could escape from the house where I lived. In fact, even if I did escape, I wasn’t confident that I could do anything. From the beginning, my longing and passion for freedom weren’t that great.
It was more like something that was already inputted rather than learned.
The car soon reached near the house and crossed the darkened forest. The unpaved road shook severely, making me feel somewhat unwell.
He got out of the car first, then stared at me as I exited the car. Looking at his somewhat dazed eyes, I could somewhat understand why my parents feared him.
He handed me the shopping bag he was holding. Thanking him, I took the bag and carefully opened it.
It was full of warm-looking clothes like the ones Oliver usually wore. As I stood there for a while, he patted my head.
Surprised by the touch I had never received before, I looked up.
“Would you do anything to get out of this house?”
“……”
I pondered his extreme words. Anything? How far would that go? If it meant cleaning the house every day, or mowing the lawn around the house every day, I could do those kinds of things readily.
Originally, I had no reason to stay, nor any reason to leave. But if I could leave, leaving didn’t seem so bad.
“Where would I go if I left?”
“Anywhere.”
At those words, I remembered talking about a country where flowers bloom in April not long ago. Places like this neighborhood where it snows a lot and is quiet were good, but I also wanted to visit a place where sunlight pours down for a long time.
My uncle didn’t wait for my answer and entered the house first. After standing beside the car thinking for a while, I got cold hands and followed my uncle into the house.
But at that moment, I heard a familiar scream from the living room. It was my father’s voice.
“Let go of this! Let go and let’s talk…!”
Thinking that my parents were fighting again, I peeked in, but my uncle was grabbing my father’s hair and throwing him to the floor.
As I stared blankly at that scene, my mother, with a pale blue face, covered her mouth and swallowed her scream.
In the violent situation, only my uncle and I had calm expressions, standing there. Unlike me, who was actually a bystander, my uncle, who was in the midst of the problem, looked down at my parents with an expressionless face as if it were an unfamiliar event.
The two trembling and staggering people and us seemed to be distinctly different beings.
Why did he appear unbothered? A small question passed through my mind, but I wasn’t particularly concerned.
Pushing the loud noise to a corner of my mind, I quietly went up to the second floor.
