Indescribable disgust surged up. His vision kept trying to fade, so Wookyung had to force his eyes wide open several times. But as if broken, moisture kept welling up in his vision and dripping down over his cheeks.
“Sniff… hnngh, ngh…”
He was someone who didn’t usually cry except when going to mourn Ido. His dried-up eyes turned bright red as they endlessly shed tears. The past times when he’d done idiotic things like buying flowers of various types to bring to the fake grave came to mind. But there wasn’t even a speck of resentment in his heart about the time he’d lived being deceived.
He just wanted to kneel before those times that child had endured alone with such difficulty. For that amount of money he would have paid to buy those brilliantly colorful flowers, for just that much, Ido would have had to give his body to men every single night.
His tightly closed lips trembled. Making sounds like a beast’s howl through his teeth, Wookyung shed tears endlessly. Even while doing so, his foot pressing the accelerator continuously sped up, racing down the road.
He wanted to just twist the steering wheel hard and die. But he couldn’t do that. To Ido, he was probably already a bastard, but he didn’t want to be a completely irresponsible fucking bastard to the very end.
He had to go and apologize even now. Even if he couldn’t make up for all the past years, at least, at least….
“Fuck, Ido-ya… Yoon Ido… what should I do, to you…”
Hnngh, a foolish cry leaked through his teeth. Throwing out unanswerable questions, Wookyung pressed the accelerator harder and harder, ignoring traffic lights like a madman. Beast-like roaring filled the car. Saliva and tears dripped plop plop onto his knees. Like someone who knew neither dignity nor shame, Wookyung sobbed loudly. Even while crying, he kept driving.
The crying that came out in this situation seemed pathetic, but he couldn’t stop. It felt like someone had taken a shovel and scooped out a handful of his chest with cruel force and scattered it outside. Blood rising where the shovel had passed splattered on the steering wheel. His heart, spat out to the outside, beat frantically. Looking at his own desperately struggling heart, Wookyung continued to pour out anguished screams.
*
The lips chewing lettuce drenched with the man’s semen, and the salmon flesh, trembled. It was fishy and disgusting, making him want to retch at any moment. But the man who had threatened to gather even that vomit and make him eat it all again sat beside him looking pleased. Having even pulled out a dining chair to sit, he was smiling while watching Lee Jeong, who knelt at his feet and continued eating in an uncomfortable position.
“That’s right, eating so well. Our Lee Jeong, should I give you more? You’re eating so well.”
“…….”
Lee Jeong desperately shook his head. But seeing the man’s expression quickly harden fiercely, Lee Jeong lowered his head. The food was bubbling undigested in his stomach. It felt like he would immediately vomit it all up with a heave right now, but Lee Jeong desperately bit his molars and endured.
However, Lee Jeong soon had to stop eating and lift his head. Though the disgusting food still had quite a lot left, he really couldn’t push in even one more piece of bean even if he tried.
“Can’t eat more?”
The man crooked the corner of his mouth upward.
“Well, if you hate what I made that much… I guess there’s nothing I can do.”
“Whine, whine.”
It felt like the man would immediately grab his hair and shove him toward his crotch. Hoping desperately that he just wouldn’t do that, Lee Jeong crawled and raised his body, approaching near the man’s knees. And he rubbed his cheek against his calf, looking up at him as if acting cute. It was a dirty and disgusting act, but for now he had to survive.
‘Please just leave me alone. Please don’t give me more.’
As if reciting a spell, saying it desperately only with his eyes, Lee Jeong whined pitifully. He really felt like he’d become a dog. Sitting naked on his knees, wearing a dog collar with a leash attached and being at his feet, eating food from a dog bowl. And rubbing his face against the man’s leg like dogs do to avoid displeasing him.
“Ah, so cute… Our Lee Jeong really seems to suit being a dog more than a person.”
“Whine, whine.”
“You’re so cute like this. Even acting cute when you don’t usually. Really so cute, aren’t you?”
The man spoke cheerfully as if singing, then laughed happily. His laughing face was so innocent. To someone who didn’t know the situation, it would really look like he was carefully tending to his pet dog.
The man reached out his hand and repeatedly stroked Lee Jeong’s head.
“Now that we’ve finished eating, what should we do?”
“…….”
“You said you wanted to go for a walk, right? Should we go for a walk?”
Lee Jeong whined and shook his head. Even if he said walk, the man really couldn’t take him outside, but if unlucky, he might drag him up and down the apartment stairs.
“Then what should we do. Hm?”
The man rolled his eyes up to the right空and made a humming sound. He seemed to be really thinking. Actually, from the moment he was dragged here and confirmed the man’s face, Lee Jeong had expected the man would strip him without regard and fuck him. But contrary to his expectations, the man was only continuing strange behaviors. Strange behaviors that seemed like he really wasn’t an ordinary crazy person, didn’t seem like a normal pervert.
“When I get my puppy, there’s something I wanted to try, Lee Jeong-ah.”
It was a voice strangely heated with excitement. Lee Jeong gulped and looked up at the man. He couldn’t predict what crazy thing he’d suggest doing.
The man pulled the leash in his hand and headed to the bedroom. Lee Jeong slowly crawled on his knees across the floor as he wanted. Seeing him being dragged to the bedroom, it seemed he wanted what Lee Jeong had expected at first after all. Anyway, it was what he did every day at the establishment to make a living. Well, if not that, what else would the man want from him?
While selling his body at the establishment, there had been many customers who requested bizarre things. But in a way, the flow of their desires converged into one, and thus was predictable. In the end, they just wanted to see Lee Jeong crying, obeying and submitting beneath them. They wanted Lee Jeong to beg and plead while crying out for them to do more.
This man wasn’t much different from those people at first either. But….
“Sleeping while holding you like this. I really wanted to try this?”
Saying that, the man lay on the bed together, holding Lee Jeong. He pulled Lee Jeong tightly into his arms. A satisfied laugh leaked through his teeth. The small frame fit perfectly under the man’s muscles without gaps.
At the high body temperature, dry heaves rose. Lee Jeong desperately bit his lips and endured.
Not even having sex, what is this….
“So good. Lying down holding my puppy. Ah, it’s good.”
The man’s face was genuinely happy.
Seeing him like that, Lee Jeong got goosebumps. He had no idea why the man was doing this to him. Even when they first met, he’d been a man who despised and humiliated him so much. Even now nothing had changed. Just minutes ago, he’d been the person who tampered with food and presented it to him.
The man smiled affectionately facing Lee Jeong, then stroked Lee Jeong’s hair with his fingers as if tracing it, whispering ticklishly.
“Lee Jeong-ah, do you like it too? Say ‘I like Master.'”
“…Whine.”
“Good, good. Let’s lie here comfortably and rest. I’ll tell you my story.”
At the incomprehensible words, Lee Jeong blinked for a moment. He’d been a man who didn’t talk about his private matters to the point of being fastidious about it. He couldn’t understand what story such a person would tell him.
“Aren’t you curious about me? You don’t know anything.”
“…….”
“I’ll only tell you the stories I want to tell. So you have to perk up your ears and listen well. Got it?”
Saying that, the man laughed like a child.
The bedding was deeply soaked with the man’s scent. It was a smell he always encountered when being held by him at the establishment, but smelling the scent soaked cozily in the bedding felt strange. It was the body odor hidden behind that strange perfume that always smelled burnt. Not the perfume he sprayed thick and strong like a shield to hide himself, but his real smell.
His stomach started churning again. This place was an excessively private and secret space. Anxiety began blooming larger and larger in his heart. That fear stemmed not from anxiety about what might happen to him here, but from having stepped into a space that was too deep and secret for the man.
He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to know more about the man. Not his real smell, not his real appearance, not what he originally wanted to do—he didn’t want to know any of it.
The man’s existence was like a deep, deep well with its black mouth wide open to Lee Jeong. Unable to know at all what was inside, unable to even know its depth. Feeling like if he stepped into it he would never come out to the outside world again, Lee Jeong trembled while held in the man’s arms. Despite the cozy blanket and the man’s high body temperature, Lee Jeong’s body began trembling uncontrollably.
“What should I tell you first. Hmm….”
The way he innocently rolled his eyes around choosing what to say was exactly like a boy. There was even excitement in his tone. This appearance of the man was very unfamiliar to Lee Jeong.
Until now, the man had erected a very tall wall toward Lee Jeong. He remembered when he once thoughtlessly offered cold medicine, the man had severely insulted him, sneering not to act cheeky for a whore. He refused to exchange any human interaction with Lee Jeong. Lee Jeong also declined interaction with him, but had at least hoped to be treated as a person. He soon realized even that was too greedy a desire.
“First, should I tell you what I thought of when I first saw you?”
Looking at the mouth of the man chattering excitedly with strange heat, Lee Jeong was silent. It was the first time he thought it was fortunate he couldn’t speak. At times like this, he didn’t know how he should react to the man. Still, he didn’t want to displease him and get beaten, so Lee Jeong barely nodded his head.
“When I was in elementary school, there was a pretty flower I raised. It was white, and the petals were small too. It was just like you.”
He couldn’t imagine the man’s childhood. He suddenly became curious about the man’s parents. How on earth did they raise their child? Why did such a monster grow up? Looking at his home, the clothes he wore, and his profession as a doctor, outwardly he seemed like a smart person who fulfilled his role well. But why was the inside of this man so rotten, decayed, and even reeking?
