When he looked up at him with a mischievous smile, Wookyung chuckled.
‘…I lose. I don’t want to imagine.’
‘Kiss me, Team Leader…’
With the happiest expression, he wrapped his arms around his neck.
‘…Kiss me enough to make me forget all the hard times… honey.’
‘Okay. Whatever you want, my honey’s orders.’
Everything was over. His chest was too tight to contain all the relief that was washing over him, but still, he was so happy that the long, long nightmare was over that even if his chest burst open right here and now, he would have no regrets.
Now, it’s all over.
Then suddenly the tears that had stopped began to well up in his eyes again. Hot liquid filled up completely, then dripped from the corner of his eye along his temple. The transparent liquid fell ceaselessly toward his ear.
Huh, why is this happening… it’s clearly a happy moment, the really hard times are, all over now…?
Lee Jeong wiped his tears with a bewildered face. But no matter how much he wiped, the tears kept flowing. Confused by the tears flowing like a broken faucet regardless of his emotions, Lee Jeong panicked.
‘Why, why won’t this stop…?’
At that moment, an eerie sense of foreignness was felt.
‘Come to think of it, where’s Dokyung…?’
Lee Jeong asked in a trembling voice.
‘Team Leader, what about Dokyung?’
‘Dokyung? Who’s Dokyung?’
Suddenly Wookyung’s gaze looking down at him felt unfamiliar. This man, was he originally… someone who could make such cold expressions?
He seemed like a different person. But strangely, there was a terrifyingly eerie sense of déjà vu from the man’s cold face. Lee Jeong’s gaze began to waver gradually.
‘Our baby… The baby that Team Leader and I had… our baby.’
‘…Ha.’
His expression cooled infinitely coldly, then he raised one corner of his mouth.
‘Ah… that little bastard’s name was Dokyung?’
At the unbelievable words coming from his mouth, Lee Jeong blinked hard.
‘What, are you saying…’
The lips that had been colored with warm warmth began to freeze again. The heart that had been beating hotly, gaining new life, stopped once more. The chest that had swelled infinitely to contain the rushing relief shriveled up at once.
Lee Jeong extended his trembling hand and touched his cheek as if to confirm.
‘This is fun.’
Then as if in response, Wookyung’s thick fingers slowly approached his neck. Too bewildered, Lee Jeong still grabbed his wrist with a confused expression. He was someone who had never touched his neck like strangling it even once.
Suddenly the face of the man who had been mounted on top of him distorted hideously like a monster. Lee Jeong blinked his eyes in surprise.
‘You. You could actually speak all along?’
At the eerie voice, Lee Jeong closed and opened his eyes hard once more. Unexpectedly, the face of the man sitting mounted on top of him was not Wookyung.
The muddy reality wasn’t over. That beta man was facing Lee Jeong in reality.
“Heok!”
His breath filled up to his throat. Gasping, Lee Jeong let out spastic breaths. His hair was all wet with sweat and stuck to his forehead.
Then the man’s fingers that had been resting on his neck as if lightly strangling it fell away.
“Lee Jeong-ssi. I discovered something interesting while you were sleeping, Lee Jeong-ssi.”
“……”
“It seems Lee Jeong-ssi was originally someone who could speak?”
Still gasping for breath, Lee Jeong looked up at him.
Which was reality, and which was a dream?
The kernel wrapped in the sweet wrapper called a dream slowly revealed itself. That fleeting moment that had been sweet enough to bring tears was just a dream. One that would scatter so futilely after waking. Not only that, a cruel dream that would mock Lee Jeong, confused and dazed in the midst of reality.
Lee Jeong’s reality was none other than the kernel that was rotting to the point of giving off an ugly smell.
He slowly looked up at the man sitting mounted on top of him. The man wearing glasses was grinning. He could see his own body full of red bite marks and splotchy bruises. Seeing his body cruelly marked all over his chest, thighs, and wrists, a sneer flowed out.
Right, there’s no way that could have been reality.
While giving birth to Dokyung alone, he had cried out his name so much in his fading consciousness. He was someone who didn’t appear even in moments when he wanted him to appear so much. But he didn’t know why he appeared in his dream at this moment of all times.
In any case, a hateful person. A person he hates so much. Therefore, a person he never wants to see again…
“So I found out, you know. That little bastard’s name is Dokyung. It’s a cute name?”
“……”
“And you were calling someone ‘Team Leader’ very desperately too. An old sugar daddy, I guess? Must be Dokyung’s father?”
He no longer got angry at the words that unhesitatingly insulted him. It was just a few hours ago that he had slapped his cheek in anger and almost suffered a terrible fate.
Right, it’s enough to act like a person who not only can’t speak but can’t hear either. Lee Jeong wiped his tear-wet eyes with the back of his hand.
“Well… it seems there’s no problem with your speech organs or vocal cords. Seeing how you spoke just fine.”
“……”
“Lee Jeong-ssi’s voice is pretty, isn’t it? It would be really nice to hear if you call my name later too.”
How ridiculous. Lee Jeong inwardly sneered at him. Even if my tongue gets cut off, I will never have occasion to call your name.
The man smiled brilliantly as if he had guessed Lee Jeong’s inner thoughts.
“Now then, we should start again, right? Don’t pass out this time. I won’t let it slide even if you pass out today.”
He opened his eyes again at the break of white dawn. He tried hard not to disobey the man’s threat not to pass out, but his body and mind, exhausted to the limit, kept flickering like a faint candle flame.
After that, he lost consciousness two more times. Though Lee Jeong had no way of knowing the reason, this time the fact that he originally knew how to speak seemed to have angered him. With a kindly smiling face, he devoured Lee Jeong like a demon.
The man who drove Lee Jeong mercilessly was twice as rough as usual. Lee Jeong shook his head off while crying out under him until his voice went hoarse. The pain unaccompanied by pleasure thoroughly trampled and destroyed Lee Jeong’s mind and body.
He was no longer ashamed to show him his miserably submissive appearance. The emotion of shame is something you can only feel when your ego is alive. Lee Jeong just accepted as the man drove him, as he gave pain and shame. He didn’t want to try to hold back tears in front of him or pretend not to be in pain. He didn’t feel a reason to show the man a dignified appearance while enduring the pain. He wasn’t even worth that. And there was no longer any pride left that he had to desperately protect like that.
The more that happened, the better the man’s mood seemed. Though he treated Lee Jeong more roughly than usual, he often burst into innocent laughter. The man seemed more cheerful than ever. Lee Jeong’s choice to obediently choose to collapse in front of him seemed to please him very much.
When he opened his eyes for the last time, the man was gone. Next to the empty bed was the tip the man had left. Thinking he was fortunate that he didn’t shove it into his asshole like last time, Lee Jeong picked up the few yellow bills placed on the pillow. Then he slowly turned his head toward the window where dawn was breaking. The translucently treated window looked completely white outside.
I should get up. I need to go to Dokyung now.
Staggering, Lee Jeong put on his clothes. The clock in the room was already pointing to six-thirty. It was fortunate that he woke up not too late, but there wasn’t much time.
He had to hurry. He wanted to wash off the white liquid splattered all over his body and dried up, but there was no time for that. Lee Jeong slowly entered the bathroom and turned on the shower to roughly rinse his body with just water. If he was any later, it would interfere with Yoonkyung’s work departure time. Lee Jeong quickly left the bathroom and put on his clothes while constantly staggering like a drunk person.
Click, the shoulders that came out after closing the door were too heavy. The more he struggled to live hard, the heavier the burden of life on his shoulders seemed to get.
I shouldn’t have had such a dream. It’s not like giving and taking away…
Lee Jeong casually swept the back of his hand over the cheeks where tears had flowed endlessly in the dream. As if traces of the dream still remained, the wet cheeks had all dried but were a bit cold.
5.
“Ah!”
While hurrying, he stupidly fell right in front of Yoonkyung’s apartment. His already bruised shins hit the stone floor and got scratched up badly. His knees were scraped and got red abrasions. It had been a long time since childhood that he had fallen so defenseless on the street like this.
His body hadn’t been listening well since walking out of Yeodanhwa. It was because he had been so severely tormented by the man. The lingering cold like a slight fever also played a part. Moreover, even the bus ran slowly today of all days. Lee Jeong sat in his seat and secretly stamped his feet, inwardly urging the driver who seemed infinitely leisurely.
As soon as he got off at the bus stop, Lee Jeong ran hard to Yoonkyung’s house. His heart wanted to run like a bullet, but his creaking pelvis and legs wouldn’t listen at all. Eventually he fell ungracefully in front of the house.
“…Ah…”
Maybe because it had been a while since he fell, it hurt like hell. Enough to make tears spring up. But even while limping, Lee Jeong didn’t slow down his steps. In front of the apartment entrance, he pressed the now-familiar password.
