***
Because Yeon Cheonguk left school late, the vocal lesson was canceled. He begged and pleaded, saying something suddenly came up at school, and managed to reschedule, but his excitement didn’t easily subside.
With his thoughts becoming complicated, he stopped by Kkaebi Comic Village. Today there was a different part-timer, so he quietly borrowed a few comic books and came home.
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When he was scribbling codes in letters the size of an ant’s head, the phone rang. His mother was in the kitchen, so Yeon Cheonguk got up and answered the phone.
“Hello.”
– Yeon Cheonguk?
“Oh, noona. What’s up?”
They were distant siblings who got straight to the point. The noona who should have bluntly stated her business was somewhat strange. She hesitated quietly for a long time.
When Yeon Cheonguk threatened to hang up, noona finally began to speak.
– ……How is father these days?”
“I don’t know. Nothing special? He always leaves earlier than me and comes back earlier, so I haven’t seen him, but since mom hasn’t said anything…”
Noona, who had been sniffling and hesitating, finally burst into tears.
– Yesterday, I was actually going to stop by home. I got off the bus at the wrong stop and while walking, I saw father doing manual labor.
“……”
– I…
“……”
– I just couldn’t go home smiling….
Noona, who had been sobbing, cleared her throat and left a request.
– Take good care of dad. And I deposited 100,000 won into mom’s account.
Until he hung up the phone, Yeon Cheonguk couldn’t say anything. It felt like being hit in the back of the head with a club thicker than the one Hakju had almost hit him with yesterday. Feeling dazed for a moment as he sat on the sofa bought from a used furniture store, his mother came out to the living room.
“Who was it? Dad?”
“……No, a friend.”
“Cheonguk, hey. Your report card came out, right?”
“Yes. It’s similar to before anyway, so I didn’t show it to you.”
Mother went into the bedroom, rustled around, and came back out. What mother held out was a thick envelope. 10,000-won bills showed through. It looked thick enough to be at least 1 million won.
“Get Yeongsu’s pinpoint tutoring. I’ve already finished talking about it with your father.”
“What? Now? Where did this money come from…”
“How long could I have lied to your father about your practice test grades? He said let’s see it directly yesterday, so I had no choice but to show him.”
“……”
“Even if you can’t go to a prestigious university like noona, you should go to a university that people recognize when they hear the name, right? Dad and mom talked and got the money together. Pinpoint tutoring is expensive, but they say it’s worth the price. They say things change even with just three months. I found a good tutor for you. Mom could pay the tutoring fee directly, but I’m giving it to you. You pay the teacher directly. So you know the value of money while getting tutored.”
Heat rose all the way to his ears.
There was no time to think about what he was ashamed of and why he hated himself.
He’d been doing his best in his own way.
That “in his own way” seemed unsatisfactory from God’s perspective.
There was no place here for Yeon Cheonguk. Comfort felt like it existed somewhere far away, beyond his grasp. It was utterly unclear where a gap existed where Yeon Cheonguk could be happy.
But Yeon Cheonguk shouldn’t be struggling. Because he wasn’t a model student who deserved to.
Yeon Cheonguk stood at a crossroads.
Adult entertainment establishment flyers, a 1 million won envelope, and a recording studio microphone floated before his eyes.
Yeon Cheonguk, who came out to Myeongdong much earlier than the appointment time, walked aimlessly through the shopping district. His steps stopped in front of a poster for <The Phantom of the Opera> musical performance.
He made a decision. He thought now was absolutely not the time to secretly prepare for his singer debut. He should rather drop out and go work at a factory or construction site. He’d prepare for his debut after earning a lot of money and when his family was stable, only then. Around the time he was solidifying his decision, he heard a voice calling Yeon Cheonguk from afar.
“Yeon! Why are you standing there so blankly?”
It was the juice shop owner he’d arranged to have dinner with. The owner, neatly dressed in a beige summer knit, waved his hand and ran over.
Yeon Cheonguk sat with the owner at a famous gyoza dumpling restaurant.
They planned to eat dinner together and go to the Migliore stage. He said he’d film Yeon Cheonguk singing with a digital camera and upload it to his mini-homepage.
“If you get a lot of ‘reposts,’ it’ll help with your debut. Being able to shoot video without a camcorder tape and transfer it directly to the computer—the world has really gotten better!”
“You have a mini-homepage too?”
“Of course. Using acorns is quite fun. You don’t have one yet?”
“No.”
Yeon Cheonguk, who was half-eating the gyoza dumplings while lost in other thoughts, suddenly blinked.
There was a gray Anycall folder phone on the table. It was a new cell phone that sparkled without even a fingerprint.
“Ta-da.”
“…What’s this?”
“Last time when you were late for vocal lessons and I couldn’t contact you, it was so inconvenient. I’m giving it because I’m inconvenienced, so don’t worry about it and just carry it.”
The owner waved his hands dismissively, adding in a tone that said not to feel burdened.
“It’s practically a free phone. I opened it under my name through someone I know at a dealership, so you don’t have to feel any burden.”
“What……?”
Instantly, his throat became so clogged it felt blocked. His patience ran out from the indescribable sense of burden. Yeon Cheonguk put down his spoon and answered honestly.
“No, I told you I don’t want it.”
“……”
“Haah…… Sunbae, I’m not going to debut.”
“……”
“You can stop taking excessive care of me now too.”
The owner quietly closed his mouth and stared at Yeon Cheonguk. Yeon Cheonguk concluded firmly.
“Since I haven’t even started lessons yet, you should be able to get your investment back. I’m sorry and thank you.”
The owner’s Adam’s apple moved up and down greatly. After being lost in thought for a moment, the owner opened his mouth.
“…Cheonguk. Hyung is a bit hurt.”
“……”
“You make that kind of decision alone? I don’t know what happened, but how hard it must have been for you to make that decision. Thinking about how you carried it alone worries me.”
However, Yeon Cheonguk felt an indescribable sense of alienation from him. The excessively organized content, the owner smoothly spouting lines that a good person in a movie or drama would say—it seemed exactly like fiction. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was acting with calculation.
Was it possible for a person to show only good aspects without a single flaw? It couldn’t be. A tree that gives without limit only exists in fairy tales.
“I understand your opinion well and will respect it. But let’s take one or two more days and discuss it carefully.”
“Ha… Kim sunbae. If you’re hurt, I’m sorry… but I think I’ve learned that I’m someone for whom boundaries are important.”
“Boundaries? What boundaries are you talking about?”
“For example, driving me every day, buying me a cell phone, being hurt—even that, by my standards… I’m grateful but uncomfortable. I don’t know if I’m being selfish, but it’s a bit burdensome, and why you’re going this far… it’s also true that I don’t understand.”
The owner, who had been quietly staring at Yeon Cheonguk as he spoke as indirectly as possible, briefly trembled at the corners of his mouth. Would he now change and criticize him as a kid who doesn’t know gratitude?
However, the owner instantly returned to a gentle face.
“Haha… Think of it as your number one fan being overzealous and forget it. I bothered you too much, free spirit that you are. I’ll admit it!”
“No, it’s not because I’m a free spirit…! From my position, it’s strange. Why are you going this far? I don’t know, maybe I’m thinking this because I’m a 19-year-old soul who’s lost his innocence, but it only looks like you’re trying to get a piece of the pie if I become a singer….”
“Cheonguk. I’m just waiting for the day you turn twenty.”
“What?”
“You’re already this cool and mature and cute and decisive and everything, so how much more will you be when you become an adult?”
“……”
The owner tried to brush off the conversation with a joke. Just as he was wondering whether to stop here, the owner directly pressed the cell phone into Yeon Cheonguk’s hand.
“Just accept this. Hm? Just accept this much. I already activated it anyway, so I can’t even sell it.”
“Haah……”
Yeon Cheonguk, who was sighing without being able to shake off the hand, was startled. It was because of a gaze that flew from outside the glass wall.
On days when there’s a stage, Myeongdong is more crowded than usual. When dusky night covers the streets and entertainment begins, waiting lines often stretch long outside the dumpling shop.
What caught Yeon Cheonguk’s attention was a group standing far from the waiting line. Among people smoking cigarettes, Hwang Jegu was standing.
