# Side Story 8
Kay’s phone rang while he was watching a movie with Haylen at home. Turning his gaze to look at the screen, Kay began to carefully read the content.
Rather than just checking it quickly, Kay seemed completely focused on it, so Haylen paused the movie and leaned over. Kay held out the screen to him so he could see it easily.
“Who’s the email from?”
“From Fenil.”
Fenil would send emails from time to time. Of course, others would occasionally contact him too, but her case was somewhat unique. Instead of checking on his well-being or having something to say, her messages were in the form of reports.
“Nothing’s wrong, right?”
“No, it’s just a regular daily report.”
Today was no different. An email arrived containing Fenil’s daily activities and the routines of all the organization’s executives. Since he was no longer involved, there was no information about organizational secrets or missions. It was filled only with details about each person’s physical condition or changes.
But this was also what Kay was most curious about. It wasn’t a distance he could visit frequently, and he could be spotted by other organizations. As a result, opportunities to meet had gradually decreased.
Even if they communicated through messages or calls, most people tended to hide their true feelings, so even if he asked, there were various problems that prevented him from seeing them.
“It seems like it’s been quite a long time since I was in the organization.”
“It’s been about 2 years. I suppose it’s about time to forget.”
It was true that the time he had spent in the organization was still much longer. But because of the continuously accumulating new memories, the memories of the past were gradually being buried. Now, thinking about those faded days from the past felt somehow strange.
To think that enough time had passed for his moments in the organization to feel blurry. That must mean that these current moments had become familiar. Kay slowly turned his head to look around.
The furniture, which had once been all new, now had traces of human touch in various places. The unfamiliar ceiling that had felt awkward every time he opened his eyes could now be viewed without any thought. The flower scent occasionally coming through the window and the sunlight brightly illuminating the room—nothing felt uncomfortable.
Kay had become incredibly accustomed to this life without even realizing it. To the point where life in the organization now felt more difficult. The memory of sitting blankly, not knowing what to do, was still vivid, yet somehow, time had passed like this.
Newly feeling the passage of time, Kay stared blankly into space for a moment with his mouth closed.
Haylen silently watched Kay in this state. His eyes blurred slightly. Haylen quickly noticed that Kay was lost in thought.
What was Kay thinking now? Did he find the 2-year period enjoyable, or did he find it tedious?
Unfortunately, no emotions appeared on Kay’s face. The same was true of his blank eyes. Haylen grew impatient. Kay, sitting with an empty expression, looked like he might disappear at any moment. So, uncharacteristically, he grabbed Kay’s arm.
“…Is Kay satisfied with the current life?”
Meanwhile, Kay was able to snap out of his thoughts and come to his senses at Haylen’s sudden touch. There was a clear hint of fear in his urgent tone. Kay blankly looked at his arm, firmly gripped in Haylen’s hand.
What about himself had made Haylen like this? Kay winced slightly at the considerable grip strength, but Haylen didn’t notice. Thinking that it might leave a bruise, Kay opened his mouth.
“What about Haylen?”
He returned the question he had received. Facing Kay, who was looking at him calmly, Haylen loosened his grip. He belatedly realized that he had acted forcefully because he had become anxious. Having regained his senses, he deeply regretted his recent behavior.
He had overreacted because Kay seemed like he might leave. Avoiding Kay’s gaze, Haylen carefully spoke.
“How could I not be satisfied when Kay is here?”
This daily life was more than he deserved. Just being able to see him was enough for Haylen to be fully satisfied. He smiled brightly with sincerity and examined Kay’s expression. Kay seemed lost in thought and was momentarily at a loss for words again, but soon he slightly opened his mouth.
“I’m happy that I can live peacefully too.”
“…”
The smile that had appeared on Haylen’s lips dimmed for a moment. For some reason, he couldn’t understand. Clearly, he should have been reassured by Kay’s words. But far from being reassured, they brought even greater anxiety.
Again, he felt like Kay might disappear. Haylen, with a slight frown, moved his lips. He needed words that could hold onto him.
“…I like you.”
“…Ah.”
“I’m not particularly expecting an answer.”
Seeing Kay rolling his eyes around, not knowing what to say, Haylen smiled, saying it was alright. During the two years, the distance between Kay and himself had grown closer. Though slow, there had been progress, which was why Haylen could approach him.
As long as Kay didn’t avoid him, Haylen believed that he would definitely reach him someday.
“I told you. That I can wait for as long as it takes.”
For that day, he would continue to wait. Even if it never came, it didn’t matter. As long as he could get a little closer to Kay in every moment.
“Kay just needs to remain as he is.”
Haylen carefully embraced Kay. Kay, who had been searching for something to say, ended up closing his mouth without saying anything. He knew Haylen was anxious. But he himself didn’t know his exact feelings either.
Therefore, all Kay could do was lean into his embrace.
* * *
Past years were stretching out like a film reel. Kay stared endlessly at that film like a moviegoer who had come to watch a movie. He knew. That this was all a dream.
But his consciousness wouldn’t easily wake up. In a space from which he couldn’t escape no matter what he did, Kay was watching the film, having given up.
Though the dream was incomprehensible at first, as he continued watching, he became interested. It was a fascinating experience. To be able to watch his memories like a movie. Among the film reels that came rushing like a flood, there were particularly shining scenes.
The first time he saw Haylen, the moment he confessed to him, the time he faced death—these were memories he couldn’t forget even if he tried.
He had been someone who didn’t even have proper memories because he was so desperate to survive. But now, countless memories surrounded him.
Not all memories were good. Rather, there were plenty of memories so chilling they were painful. However, there was a belief that he could overcome them all. That’s why he could live his daily life peacefully.
Kay hadn’t endured it alone. It was possible because of Haylen’s help. He always offered his embrace whenever Kay struggled. He continuously whispered gentle words to help him quickly forget painful memories and fall back asleep.
During all that time, Haylen had never once been emotionally harsh to Kay. He had only dedicated himself with the desire for Kay to be okay. Thanks to that, Kay was gradually able to escape from painful memories.
The frequency of waking from nightmares decreased, and the time trapped in memories shortened. Now, nightmares were very rare for Kay.
Thinking of Haylen, Kay could understand why he was having such a dream.
It was to have confidence that he could trust Haylen.
Even if Kay saw Haylen’s past wrongs against him again, he was no longer afraid. He couldn’t think that Haylen would abandon him.
So he too could be certain. That he liked Haylen.
“…”
Simultaneously with that thought, his eyes opened. Before the bright sunlight, Haylen’s sleeping face came into view first. Kay gently brushed aside the hair that was poking into his eyes.
Until now, he had been avoiding his feelings. Because he didn’t want to be hurt again by being trapped in love.
But now it was different. Kay decided to convey his feelings to Haylen.
* * *
Kay, who was helping Haylen cook, abruptly asked.
“…Would you like to go on a trip?”
“A trip?”
At the sudden question, Haylen stopped cutting and looked at him. Despite sounding casual, complex emotions were visible on his face.
“It seems like we haven’t gone out much lately.”
Not a simple reason. But instead of prying, Haylen nodded. It had been a long time since Kay had expressed what he wanted to do. Whatever his intentions might be, if it was what Kay desired, he wanted to grant it.
“Alright. Where should we go?”
“Do you remember where we went on our first trip?”
Haylen, going back through his memories, opened his mouth as if he had recalled.
“The sea… right?”
“I want to go there.”
It was certainly a place with memories, fitting for their first trip. Seeing the sea was also quite pleasant.
“Nothing’s wrong, is it?”
But Kay’s reaction was a bit concerning. Of course, he intended to go together, but he worried if Kay might have some troubles. He had seemed fine recently… Haylen thoroughly examined his complexion.
Noticing Haylen’s concern, Kay immediately shook his head.
“No. I just want to go there for fun.”
It was difficult to talk about because he needed his own resolve. Somehow, Haylen seemed to misunderstand that something had happened to him, but it wasn’t that grand.
The reason Kay suggested a trip to the sea was simple. He planned to confess to Haylen there.
