# Chapter 129
A week after Raymon’s death, Zenon came looking for me. He seemed to have been contemplating for quite some time, as he couldn’t easily open his mouth even after coming to me.
He wanted to ask, but appeared to feel intense guilt because of his past as a spy. I quietly waited until Zenon would speak.
“…Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
After a long while, he finally spoke while extremely tense. His eyes looked down at the floor, unable to meet my gaze.
“How are you… alive?”
It was indeed a miraculous thing that was hard to believe. A dead person coming back to life. That’s why Zenon must have been in despair, not believing I was alive. Because that would only be a useless hope.
I pondered how to explain what had happened. It would be too long to explain everything.
“It’s a long story…”
After some thought, I only told him briefly. That I was able to come back to life because Haylen was a Revive ability user. It was a highly abbreviated story.
I was also going to tell him that Kane was me, but Zenon was in a very confused state right now. This could be told after he understood and accepted what he had just heard.
“So you’ve been here all this time?”
“…Yes.”
Since I told him that I had been recovering at ‘Alice’ after waking up, I nodded while trying to appear calm. Zenon looked at my face with an unreadable expression.
His expression brightened then dimmed, furrowing his brows and then moistening his eyes. That’s how complicated his feelings were.
“Isn’t Kay resentful of me?”
His moist eyes seemed ready to shed tears at any moment. It would be a lie to say I didn’t resent him. But now I was truly okay.
“You had… your reasons.”
I could understand Zenon because I was the same. I had deceived Ben. Even if that wasn’t my intention, the fact that he was hurt didn’t change.
“That doesn’t make what I did go away.”
“Still, I’ve decided to understand.”
Zenon’s current situation and my circumstances were very similar. Even to the point of feeling guilt towards the other person.
“Because I trust Zenon.”
Even to the point where the other person had forgiven us. Ben had approached me after the battle. His words were unexpected.
Ben said he would try to understand me.
Even though it was something he didn’t need to understand. That meant I had become someone important to Ben. Therefore, my guilt towards Ben could only deepen.
“…You really.”
Perhaps the emotions Zenon was feeling now were similar to what I felt then. After struggling to find words for a long time, he finally opened his mouth.
“I’m sorry. Though it’s late, I was planning to tell you everything.”
His voice, trembling pitifully, began to reveal the truth.
“That I was a spy, and why I belonged to Peace.”
It contained an inerasable regret of why he couldn’t tell me sooner.
“At least I didn’t want it revealed that way.”
When I found out Zenon was a spy, everything was just confusing. So even though I knew Zenon was in despair, I didn’t try to understand him.
“Tell me slowly from now on. We have plenty of time.”
But now it’s different. With everything back in place, there was no need to rush. As they say, time heals all wounds, and surely Zenon’s guilt would also fade with time.
“You’re right…”
Zenon seemed not to have realized this. He muttered as if just realizing that time was no longer limited, as he had thought until now.
After looking at me for a long time, Zenon smiled with his eyes curved.
“Thanks for being alive, Kay.”
I thought it had been a long time since I saw Zenon’s smile without shadows.
* * *
The chaotic situation had calmed down, and ‘Alice’ had returned to normal. Now Kay had to decide. How to live from now on.
“What are you thinking of doing now, Kay?”
“…Well.”
“Whatever choice you make is fine.”
At Haylen’s kind words, Kay fell into contemplation. There was something he had been thinking about for a while, but he felt Haylen might oppose it. However, since it was something he had wanted to do, Kay barely managed to open his heavy mouth.
“I want to try living a normal life.”
It wasn’t about separating from Haylen’s side. He just wanted to live normally, not as an organization member.
“When I became Kane, I felt like I had freedom. I want to feel that freedom again.”
Of course, it was just a wish.
“…Even though I don’t deserve to live normally.”
Although he wished for it, he had already spilled too much blood. Kay could answer without hesitation that the question of whether he deserved to live a normal life was “no.”
But the memory of when he was Kane was deeply embedded within him, so despite knowing it was selfish, he came to desire normalcy. Haylen could immediately understand Kay’s strangely subdued attitude.
“Everything is because of me.”
Kay had done nothing wrong. It was he who had brought Kay into the organization and he who had given him missions. So Kay had no reason to feel guilty.
“Kay can live normally.”
Haylen, who was sitting on the bed, gently pulled Kay’s hand. Kay’s body, unable to maintain balance, crumbled and settled on Haylen’s lap. Since this was now a natural action, Kay wasn’t startled. Rather, he slightly adjusted his posture.
“…You’re not opposed to it?”
Kay, resting his head on Haylen’s shoulder, carefully asked.
“Of course not. How could I oppose a choice you’ve made?”
He gently stroked Kay’s hair. At the gentle touch, wolf ears and a tail popped out. As this too had become familiar, Kay didn’t try to forcibly hide them. He just quietly surrendered his body to Haylen.
“…Do I deserve that?”
“I told you. It’s all because of me.”
The kind words sounded nice. But he couldn’t believe them blindly.
“But… I did it.”
The memories of the past were still vivid. The image of himself killing people in a place where the smell of blood and screams never ceased. That’s why Kay couldn’t think that he had the right.
“Of course, I’ll leave the organization.”
No matter how much he pondered, it was already decided. It was meaningless to show weakness now. Because Haylen treated him kindly, he ended up saying unnecessary things.
This was an issue he had to bear himself. Thinking he had revealed his weak inner feelings, Kay hurriedly changed the subject.
“Will you stay in the organization, Boss?”
Kay thought he would affirm right away. After all, Haylen was the boss of ‘Alice.’
But Haylen’s mouth, which usually answered immediately, didn’t open. When Kay tried to turn his head to look at his face, Haylen buried his head in Kay’s shoulder first.
“Rather, is there anywhere you’d like to go?”
“I haven’t… decided yet.”
Kay was puzzled by his attitude that seemed unwilling to talk, but he didn’t press for an answer. In an atmosphere where it seemed like he wouldn’t ask further, Haylen slowly raised his head. A low voice tickled Kay’s ear.
“Then, would you like to go somewhere with me later? We promised.”
“Promise…”
Now that he thought about it, Haylen had promised to tell him something he had been hiding once the operation was over.
“I want to tell you there.”
If it was something difficult for Haylen to bring up, it must be that serious. Kay stared at his hand and nodded.
“Alright.”
What could Haylen be trying to say? Anxiety preceded anticipation.
* * *
Alex quietly observed Haylen, who was strangely subdued. He thought everything was over, but could there be some problem?
“What are you worrying about?”
“Ah… It’s nothing.”
His complexion was too poor for it to be nothing, but Alex didn’t pry further. If he felt like talking, he would come to speak on his own.
“Are you feeling better?”
“No problem.”
Alex was just asking out of courtesy, not genuinely concerned. After all, Haylen was so strong that one might doubt if he was human, despite being an ability user. His recovery speed was also on a different level compared to ordinary people, so thinking about his health was a luxury.
“What is Kay going to do?”
“He’s decided not to return.”
“That’s unexpected.”
Alex had assumed that Kay would naturally return. He had liked Haylen so much. It was hard to imagine Kay distancing himself from him.
Could it be because of what happened in the underground prison? He hadn’t heard the details, but he heard that Kay had been severely hurt because of Haylen. Just imagining what the situation might have been made him frown involuntarily.
Anyway, after experiencing such a thing, it was understandable that Kay would want to leave. Just when Haylen had finally come to like Kay, things had gone awry like this.
Alex glanced at Haylen, who was lost in thought. Could this be why Haylen was feeling bad right now?
His insides must be in turmoil at the thought of being separated from Kay.
Since Alex had only understood Haylen and Kay’s relationship through the atmosphere, that was the limit of his speculation.
Not knowing what Alex was thinking, Haylen raised his head slightly and asked.
“Don’t you regret it?”
Confused by the statement without context, Alex tilted his head. Haylen moved his lips before carefully continuing.
“Becoming an organization member. Honestly, I don’t understand why you established the organization with me.”
He seemed to have just thought to ask. As if he really didn’t understand, Haylen stared at Alex.
