Yujeong laughed out loud. It seemed he’d been thinking about what Seongjo had said on the stairs all this time. Moreover, he appeared quite delighted by Seongjo’s attitude. In that case, there was no need to hide what was on his mind, which actually made things easier for Seongjo.
“Does that face work well on parents too?”
He threw out the teasing remark. Even then, Yujeong’s gaze hadn’t strayed, still looking at Seongjo. Yujeong answered without deflecting or keeping silent.
“So I guess it worked on Lee Seongjo-ssi too…….”
At the unexpected answer, Seongjo paused and stared at Yujeong. Their gazes were both unwavering. With a deliberately composed expression, Yujeong looked back at Seongjo as if asking what the problem was.
“Isn’t that right? You came as a parent today.”
Seongjo let out a brief laugh. It was a somewhat dry-sounding laugh. Was this feeling nervousness or pleasure? Since both of them only drew closer and never pulled away, the distance between them was now sufficiently close.
“Earlier…….”
Yujeong slowly opened his mouth. Seongjo didn’t answer, only looked at him.
“Were you jealous?”
Having said that, Yujeong gradually leaned toward Seongjo. In the distance that had already been close enough, there was now no gap left. Even without obediently opening his mouth to answer that he was jealous, Yujeong seemed to already know the answer.
Seongjo thought he might kiss him just like this.
Unable to react immediately, he was caught up in wondering whether he should close his eyes or not. Instead, he quietly reached out and held onto Yujeong. Not so desperately or urgently as to seem obvious, but not without any interest or overflowing with composure either.
Where Seongjo’s hand touched was around Yujeong’s waist. The collar slightly caught at his fingertips was still as crisp as it had been when he saw him at school, but it gradually wrinkled instead from Seongjo’s touch.
However…… Yujeong stopped without coming completely closer. With an expression like someone thinking “oops,” he ceased what he was doing. Like someone who had suddenly come to their senses. A subtle shadow fell across the face that had been leaning toward Seongjo.
“This is…….”
Yujeong, who had murmured quietly, soon pulled away from Seongjo. Seongjo only looked at him with slightly bewildered eyes, neither holding him back nor opening his mouth. Yujeong fumbled out his words.
“I…….”
Watching his face struggling to choose his words left a slightly bitter taste. Did he think he’d made a mistake? The fact that he’d tried to kiss Seongjo. If so, what was the reason? Was what Yujeong regretted being swept up in the mood, or the relationship with Seongjo itself?
“I wasn’t careful enough.”
But the words that followed were a little different from such concerns of Seongjo’s. Yujeong, who had murmured in a low voice, raised his head and met Seongjo’s eyes. Perhaps worried that Seongjo might think something else, he hurriedly added a word.
“Not because I dislike it.”
Looking at his face, slightly contorted as if difficult to explain, Seongjo found himself nodding without realizing it.
He didn’t completely understand his feelings, but he seemed to get it. If Yujeong hadn’t stopped just now, Seongjo wouldn’t have refused him. Thinking about what would come after kissing like that made things feel a bit vague.
Surely it would have become an irreversible atmosphere, but were Seongjo and Yujeong truly in a position to clearly define their relationship?
The reason he couldn’t answer that right away was probably due to the complicated situation.
Seongjo was in a position where not much time had passed since his breakup. Though it was far from being unable to forget his ex-lover and missing them, it was also ambiguous to say it was completely settled. Especially since he was worried about the obsessive attitude the other party had shown.
That’s why he didn’t want a situation where they gave in to the mood and suddenly pressed their lips together. It would be more accurate to explain that he didn’t want to do that with Yujeong.
Yujeong, as if trying to read Seongjo’s expression, just faced Seongjo in a state where he couldn’t completely pull away, yet couldn’t get closer again either. Seeing him like that made it feel like something like the kiss that had fizzled out into nothing didn’t matter at all.
Seongjo smiled slightly and reached out, tapping Yujeong’s cheek with two fingers.
“That’s fine. I like that you’re being careful.”
* * *
“So the kids are meeting four times a week to practice wedding songs. They say they’re trying everything that’s popular but still haven’t decided. Funny, right?”
He couldn’t concentrate at all on the lively voice. He just stared down at the tableware, lost in thought in a daze. As the time without an answer grew longer, disappointment crept into Seyeong’s voice.
“Are you even listening to me?”
He raised his head with a sense of “oops.” Seyeong, looking slightly displeased, was watching him. Yeongbeom smiled gently to hide the fact that he hadn’t been concentrating.
“Of course I was listening. Everyone must be busy, but they’re making such an effort for the wedding song…… All of Seyeong’s friends are really good people. I guess it’s because Seyeong is a good person.”
At the embarrassingly model answer Yeongbeom provided, Seyeong’s sharp expression softened a bit. While muttering “You’re good with words, really” with her mouth, her hand moving the tableware seemed much lighter.
“Yeongbeom-ssi, you seem to have your mind somewhere else these days. Do you know that?”
Of course…… he was well aware. Though he knew he shouldn’t think about it anymore, he just couldn’t stop thinking. At least it was fortunate that Seyeong couldn’t even guess the reason why Yeongbeom’s head was complicated. Yeongbeom made an apologetic expression and lowered his eyes slightly.
“Sorry. Were you upset? It’s absolutely not that I can’t focus on Seyeong, I’ve just been continuously tense lately. Since there’s not much time left until the wedding…… I feel like I have to prepare everything perfectly. Doing this and that, I keep not being able to sleep.”
She, like many women, thought of the wedding as a once-in-a-lifetime event. Even if there were aspects that didn’t quite please her, showing that Yeongbeom was as enthusiastic about the wedding as she was would often improve her mood.
This time was no different. Though Seyeong had been looking at Yeongbeom with a face that didn’t seem very pleased, when he explained the reason he couldn’t concentrate, her expression softened considerably.
“I see. It’s good that you’re working hard, but don’t push yourself too much…… Health comes first, you know. What if you collapse right after getting married and can’t even go on our honeymoon?”
Looking at Seyeong who concluded her words playfully, Yeongbeom smiled along mechanically. He could feel all too clearly that there was no soul in his own voice murmuring “I will” in response.
If talent you’re born with is good fortune, then an environment where you can’t freely exercise it is misfortune. Jo Yeongbeom was a man born with both such fortune and misfortune. He was bright and intelligent, and with his gentle appearance, kind way of speaking, and upright conduct, he won people’s favor.
He was certainly a decent man. He chose the path of acting virtuously most of the time, and rarely got angry at others.
However, like all humans, it wasn’t that he had no duplicitous aspects. While it was true he was modest and upright in conduct, he also had arrogant sides.
Rather than being grateful and thinking of conditions like his natural intelligence or good looks as good fortune, Yeongbeom was someone who thought his achievements were the result of his own efforts. So he thought the reason he couldn’t spread his wings was all due to misfortunes like natural disasters.
Yeongbeom’s complicated feelings toward Seongjo were longstanding. It had been that way even before Seongjo became aware of Yeongbeom’s existence. Seongjo was an object of vague longing, but at the same time, an object of jealousy and envy. He had precisely that environment that Yeongbeom didn’t have.
Unlike Yeongbeom, who was born as an illegitimate child and had never even properly faced his father’s face, Seongjo was said to maintain a close relationship not only with his father but also with his grandfather. Unlike himself who had to struggle desperately to succeed, it seemed as if Seongjo had been destined to succeed from birth. He’d expected they would live in such different worlds for their entire lives…….
Yeongbeom didn’t particularly believe in the good fortune given to him. But he acknowledged that one fact.
Meeting Seongjo was certain good fortune. As was being loved by ‘that’ Lee Seongjo.
What he learned after they became a couple was that Seongjo was an even better boyfriend than he’d thought. Someone who possessed looks, wealth, intelligence, and popularity was even conscientious without any negligence in their romantic relationship.
That was the problem. Lee Seongjo was too…… flawless.
