At the words Bernard finally spat out, Rubens inhaled cigarette smoke until his cheeks hollowed. Even after saying it himself, Bernard’s legs were trembling as if afraid of the reaction that would come. Rhino, who had approached, grasped Bernard’s shoulders from behind. If someone who didn’t know the situation had seen it, it was a composition convincing enough that there had been some emotional exchange between the two.
“Merely.”
A laugh that felt somewhat irritable briefly passed, but Rubens didn’t raise his hand. Bernard, who had been inwardly tense, slowly exhaled the breath he’d been holding momentarily. Rhino’s voice, soothing such a Bernard, interjected.
“It’s okay.”
Bernard’s tensed shoulders loosened for a moment. Bernard clenched his teeth tightly, then slowly opened his mouth.
“Please… treat Elliot faithfully.”
Did the stammering words sound hypocritical to Rubens? It didn’t matter if he dismissed it as petty pride or twisted morality. He felt like he would collapse to the floor at any moment from fear. However, Bernard stood firmly on both legs. What made that possible was Rhino supporting him from behind.
“…If you came to see Elliot, shall I call him for you?”
“It doesn’t matter. I didn’t come to see Elliot.”
As far as Bernard remembered, Elliot had no special appointments today. As much as he’d been going out frequently lately, he would definitely be resting at home today. Since he’d said something so brazen, he thought that even if this man raised his hand now, he would just take a hit or so. Rhino would be upset if he got slapped on the cheek, but he thought he had to do that much for Rubens to let this situation pass.
But he lost his words at Rubens’s behavior, speaking as if he’d been waiting for him. Rubens’s gaze looking at him sank damply. Just like when his eyes had briefly been visible in the flickering light in the garage.
“Then why……”
“Because I left my clothes.”
It was an excuse unlike him. The blinking dark green eyes examined his face for a long time. But Rubens didn’t seem to be particularly lying. Thinking about it, he wasn’t the kind of man who would lie for Bernard’s sake in the first place.
“I left my medicine too.”
Bernard’s eyes widened at his action of placing the medicine bag he’d been holding against his chest with a thud. He’d completely forgotten the medicine prescribed at the hospital. Watching Bernard, who didn’t know what to do, the man let out cigarette smoke once more.
“Don’t you have anything to say?”
He acts exactly as if he’d been waiting for Bernard. He seemed like someone who had waited only for Bernard until so many cigarette butts piled up at his feet. As the man who had acted as if he would pour out anger at any moment quietly looked at him, Bernard swallowed his bewilderment with a gulp. As if reminding him of reality, Rhino gripped his shoulder tightly. At the grip strength he felt, Bernard suddenly awoke from his sweet dream.
The remnants of remaining emotions rippled inside. Were there so many things that couldn’t be completely sorted out? Before he knew it, emotions that had surged up to his chin tried to devour his entire body.
He was truly pathetic for fluttering a little even if he didn’t want to at merely this much whimsy. A bitter smile spread.
“……I’m sorry.”
Bernard’s manner of speaking became a little more docile. It was an expression that had softened like foam, as if asking when he had sharpened his edge quite resolutely as if on guard.
Rubens scrutinized him as he lowered his head at an angle, looking at the medicine bag held in his arms. The cigarette caught between the man’s index finger and thumb slowly burned down. The unflicked ash stretched long, precariously as if it would fall with a thud at any moment.
“I thought you’d say thank you.”
“I’m sorry for misunderstanding.”
Even at the reprimanding words, Bernard firmly said he was sorry. Rubens bit his lips briefly. At that action, the stretched ash broke off with a snap and fell onto his shoes. The ash dirtied the shiny black shoes messily. But such a thing didn’t even enter Rubens’s view.
He felt a strange feeling. He was recalling Bernard’s voice saying thank you as he got out of Rhino’s car. It was a voice with a warmth contrary to his crying voice that had suffered beneath him that previous night. Rubens wanted to hear that voice. The rage that had surged up became calm as if asking when that had happened. It was a scene that would make the secretary who worked under him click his tongue in disbelief if he had seen it.
Bernard was a target he didn’t need to wait for. A cheap-like existence with no precious place, who would run out immediately whenever called. A convenient outlet he could treat roughly and who couldn’t report it anywhere.
But why.
Such sentences kept encroaching on his mind. He told Dale, who was reciting his morning schedule, that he had a place to stop by briefly and picked up his coat and medicine bag. To the question of whether he had an important appointment, he answered it was a change of mood.
Rubens thought it was quite unreasonable for him to act like this. Nevertheless, he walked that street and came to see Bernard. Until he pressed the intercom and heard that he wasn’t home, his mood hadn’t been too bad.
He was curious where he’d gone with that body, but incongruously, he intended to wait for Bernard. Elliot said he would hurriedly get ready and come out, but he answered that he would return so there was no need to come out. Even so, he couldn’t leave the front of that house. As the cigarette butts piling at his feet increased one by one, the man’s mood was still pretty okay until then.
However, when he saw Bernard getting out of an unfamiliar car. The rage that had surged up momentarily when he confirmed who was standing next to him gradually disappeared as Bernard approached. The fact that the ring was still on his finger gave him a subtle sense of superiority. And at the fact that he felt such a sense of superiority, Rubens briefly wondered if he had perhaps gone mad.
A cold wind brushed his cheek. After looking at the skinny frame standing there shivering, he gave his gaze to the one standing as if embracing him. Gray eyes filled with anger were intensely staring at Rubens.
Rubens found this situation a little amusing. The subject who had turned pale at the designation of sex partner looked pathetic, being on edge in case Bernard might be hurt. However, the most pathetic thing in this situation was himself, with all his boiling anger completely evaporated.
“Let’s call it payment for the hand.”
It was also a trivial excuse. Rubens ground out the cigarette he’d been smoking with his shoe heel. He wasn’t a person with much time to spare. Dale must be anxiously waiting for him, who hadn’t returned for a long time. His phone had already been vibrating in his pocket since a little while ago.
“So an apology isn’t particularly necessary.”
“Is this your doing?”
However, anger erupted from a strange place. The sound of molars grinding sounded quite ominous.
“Rhino, that’s.”
“I asked if it was Mr. Hurt’s doing.”
It was as if watching a third-rate melodrama. Rubens had no intention of getting involved even in such worthless acts. However, if a third party deliberately wanted to interfere in this relationship, the story became a little different. His blue eyes took on a gentle air.
“You seem to be mistaken about something……”
Rubens’s voice stretched out leisurely.
“If I force a choice here, you need to be aware yourself that the one who’ll be abandoned is McPherson. Shouldn’t you be grateful for the mercy of not deliberately creating a losing game for you?”
At the compassionate voice, Rhino’s face distorted. Bernard grasped Rhino’s hand that held his shoulder in confusion. It was as if soothing him. That rather incited Rubens.
“With the name McPherson, there’s nothing you can grasp in this relationship.”
His blue eyes gleamed with some emotion. It felt like his head was packed full with various thoughts. The man’s words became a bit more cunning.
“Mr. Weil’s greed is greater than I thought.”
As long as he wished for Elliot’s happiness, Bernard had no choice but to be desperate for many things. He recalled him demanding a perfect relationship. Wasn’t it a truly ridiculous relationship diagram? Bernard was staking too much on his older brother. Like someone who could only prove his existence value solely through Elliot.
When spending time with Elliot, Rubens felt the stark difference between the two. His lover acted purely innocent like an unsullied person. He easily rejoiced at trivial things and was insensitive to others’ malice. It was as if he thought there couldn’t possibly be anyone who harbored such malice toward him.
A person who thought the world was easy, who thought it was just like a fairy tale. So even if a vicious stalker attached himself, he probably spent always cheerful times without knowing one had attached. He seemed to think even paparazzi swarming was just an amusing scandal. He even waved to camera lenses that were clumsily hidden and discovered sometimes.
Rubens intended to moderately preserve that purity. It was also good for drawing attention, and the attention level was decent. Using Bernard to remove the stalker was also for that reason. It wasn’t a plan brought about by tender feelings of cherishing Elliot more than anyone.
People in the world he belonged to all accepted appropriate people as spouses. Rubens had only made such a choice. At first, there had been an impulsive excitement saying he would come find him if he liked that night, but as he met him, Rubens’s impulse also gradually subsided.
A person of the sunny side whose upbringing without hardship could be recognized at a glance. Though he was a type Rubens absolutely never met, he was also a good match to present externally. It wasn’t bad to plaster the media with the romance of the century either. As much as everyone loved a Cinderella story, Elliot would become good topicality.
In Rubens’s view, Bernard was a person of the shady side whose shadow was maximized most because of his older brother. If it was anything related to Elliot, he fumbled around to an idiotic degree. Yet when Elliot poured attention on him, he again didn’t know what to do and stepped back, which was truly pathetic.
When he first faced Bernard, Rubens thought he would become an irritating existence. He was such a gloomy-faced bastard that he briefly considered whether he should remove him. However, at some point, he had the face of someone who had a one-sided love for Rubens. A trivial existence who, despite the target dating his older brother, couldn’t completely shake off his one-sided love and couldn’t even make eye contact.
But now…… That sentence he thought ultimately couldn’t reach its end. Though he wore a gentle expression outwardly, all of Rubens’s thoughts were rapidly volatilizing in his fire-like inner feelings.
“So much that a man like you can’t fully satisfy.”
Bernard urgently tried to manage the situation by blocking between the two, but neither seemed to have any intention of backing down.
