Until the weekend, Bernard acted like someone who didn’t know about the world outside his room. Translation drafts scattered on his desk were thrown into the trash can multiple times. His room was a mess, like someone who had forgotten to take care of himself.
“Bernard, I recommended you because I thought you’d do well.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“But think about it. This will be a huge help to our family.”
“Elliot.”
“You don’t need to feel burdened! Rubens was interested too, you know?”
Elliot’s words sounded absurd. Liam couldn’t hide his joy at the dinner table, and Sarah was also soaked in their happiness. At the table, Elliot repeatedly talked about how amazing Rubens was and how well he treated him. Only Bernard was an isolated stranger.
[Rhino]: Bernard, please answer the phone.
[Rhino]: I forgot everything that happened at that party. Okay?
[Rhino]: Is it because I left wearing the tie pin? I’ll just keep it safe from now on.
[Rhino]: Bernard, you didn’t block me, did you?
Rhino’s texts also piled up steadily. Missed call records appeared every day. Bernard somehow couldn’t answer those calls. He was rather relieved that he hadn’t come to the house. It was cowardly, but it was true.
“We’re friends, right?”
What kind of expression did Rhino have when he asked that…? His thoughts often failed to reach a conclusion and shattered.
When the weekend came, Bernard became especially sensitive. Liam’s strong accent grated on him, and Sarah’s laughter scratched his eardrums. Especially seeing Elliot’s face was torture, so he often avoided his gaze. His family said Bernard’s behavior was an untimely adolescence.
“You don’t have to worry so much.”
“…Well.”
“Mr. Rubens will treat you kindly. I especially asked him to.”
Elliot’s voice was gentle. But Bernard felt an indescribable impulse. A destructive and selfish emotion flared up to his esophagus.
“Elliot, you… don’t you think anything?”
“Think what?”
“What if I…”
The thought that I might do something bad with him.
The words melted on his tongue like sugar. Elliot had a clear face, as if he couldn’t guess Bernard’s unfinished words.
“Don’t worry. Everything will work out.”
Bernard swallowed dry saliva while looking at Elliot, who kindly held both his hands. He felt like he had become very strange. Unable to kiss his affectionate brother on the cheek, he smiled awkwardly.
“I’ll be going now.”
“Be careful and call if anything comes up.”
A car was already waiting for Bernard in front of the house. The moment he faced that car, Bernard chewed his lips miserably. He knew this car. It was the car he had gotten into at the previous party venue. Bernard shook out his clothes to hide his trembling hands, then got into the car.
Strangely, it felt like being sold off. Taking care of one’s family is natural. He had been taught that he should always do so, and had been scolded to prioritize family. But the fact that he felt impious at a moment like this was probably because Bernard himself was truly a rotten person.
While riding in the car, Bernard tried hard to kill various thoughts. The face of the stalker who clung to his clothes kept coming to mind, so he closed his eyes, only to flinch and tremble his shoulders in surprise.
Shortly after, he was left standing alone in front of a mansion that had become familiar after seeing it just once.
“The door is open.”
As soon as he pressed the doorbell, a familiar voice flowed from the intercom. It was like someone who had been waiting all along. Bernard felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he carefully pushed the iron gate.
“What were you conflicted about? It shouldn’t take that long to cross the garden.”
When he quietly crossed the garden and opened the mansion door, Rubens asked in a firm voice. Bernard had no choice but to stand still in front of the entrance. Rubens’s hand passed by his waist and gripped the entrance door handle tightly, pulling it, making it look as if he was being held in an embrace.
“It’s been a while, Mr. Hurt.”
“So it has. Did you get home safely that time?”
The expression on Bernard’s face, trapped in his arms, sank slightly. Perhaps his intention deflated at that calm reaction, as Rubens obediently stepped back and smiled quietly.
“I’d like to hear about the work you want to assign.”
“Coffee, tea?”
“Water is sufficient.”
Bernard licked his parched lips and carefully chose his words. His mouth kept getting dry. Rubens guided Bernard to the living room and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving words to wait for a moment.
“What kind of work are you planning to assign?”
“I didn’t call you just because of work.”
“…What do you mean?”
“It seemed like you were planning to hide forever and never show your face.”
A look of bewilderment crossed Bernard’s face as he received the glass of water offered to him. Rubens sat on the opposite sofa and placed his own cup of coffee in front of him. His voice was extremely monotonous, but to Bernard, it felt like excessively loud noise.
“I don’t think it would be harmful to you, Mr. Hurt…”
“That’s hard to say for certain.”
The somewhat relaxed atmosphere seemed even more soaked than before. But Bernard’s shoulders stiffened even more firmly. It didn’t feel good that someone who had been sharp and aggressive before was suddenly changing their attitude.
“I prefer to keep things that bother me in front of my eyes and check on them.”
“You’re Elliot’s lover. There’s no reason for you to see me in the future. I, I’m planning to… act according to my position from now on.”
Bernard tried not to stammer but failed. It was because the emotion captured in the man’s curved eyes was too vivid. Reading that it was satisfaction, Bernard felt a slight dizziness. It seemed like he kept getting short of breath, so he let out a thin breath.
“I thought you’d be happy if I published my private life as a book.”
“Father was delighted.”
“I’ll need interviews. You’ll have to come regularly.”
Rubens Hurt’s private life was thoroughly kept secret. And the public was that much more curious about his intimate inner thoughts. What he thought as he grew up, what kind of education he received, and whether he too had vulnerable aspects like ordinary people. The desire to thoroughly dig into the inner workings of what seemed perfect was an instinctive human desire.
Bernard’s tightly clenched fist became sticky with sweat. Bernard felt nauseous. The blue eyes he met were strangely gentle.
“Do I bother you?”
“Very much.”
“…Elliot will think it’s strange.”
Even Bernard himself thought it was a pathetic excuse. But it was obvious that Liam would be jumping with joy.
“He trusts me. He’s not the type to be so jealous of you as to suspect over something like this.”
“Elliot, jealous…?”
“Who knows?”
Rubens’s eyes narrowed again. Bernard was still restless. And Rubens was satisfied with Bernard’s behavior while simultaneously feeling an ambiguous hunger.
Bernard Weil has a one-sided love for Rubens Hurt. Rubens had chewed on that proposition alone for a long time. Even while meeting and talking with Elliot, that sentence didn’t leave his mind. The disgusting emotion strangely now seemed a bit appetizing.
“Do you… love Elliot?”
“Do you hope I don’t love him?”
At the pathetic question, Rubens almost burst into laughter. Elliot Weil was perfectly his type. A slender yet graceful body, white and smooth skin. Bright blonde hair and vivid green eyes… There was no reason to dislike someone who would match perfectly with him when kept by his side.
A male lover. It could give the image of being on the side of minorities, and as it was an exchange between families of unequal status, it could receive great public support. In that sense, Rubens did love Elliot. A vain satisfaction born of necessity that could be appropriately displayed.
“Or would it have been good if I loved you?”
At Rubens’s question, Bernard was silent for a moment. The emotion in his dark green eyes was clear self-loathing. However, the longing that flashed by in that brief moment was also vivid. What settled in afterward was complete despair though.
“One more thing. Elliot’s body is too weak.”
“He’s been like that since he was young. He’s often ill and has relied on hospitals a lot…”
“So it’s a bit difficult to share bedroom matters.”
At the words that dropped suddenly, Bernard’s expression hardened completely. Unlike him, Rubens’s eyes curved roundly.
“…I don’t really, I don’t really… understand what you want.”
“It’s simple.”
Bernard blinked. If he didn’t, it felt like tears would well up any moment. He couldn’t understand what he was hearing right now.
“Because if I have sex with Elliot in his current physical condition, he might die in bed. So I want you to handle it instead.”
“What are you… saying? Now. Telling me to…”
“How much do you need as compensation? I’ll give you more than the amount you want.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“Joking? I’m making a proposal for you to become a sex partner in place of your hyung.”
At that moment, Rubens glanced at his phone. Then he leaned back against the sofa and sneered. At the same time, the doorbell rang.
“Could you go out and open the door? Tell them we’re not done with our business yet and send them away.”
“I, I have no intention of responding to such an absurd proposal. No matter how ridiculous I am to you… this is an act of contempt toward Elliot!”
The doorbell sound stopped. Bernard stammered out his anger in a suppressed voice, but Rubens’s expression remained calm.
“You can’t refuse this proposal.”
As if he hadn’t been leaning back, Rubens’s upper body came forward again. He bent down with his forearm resting on his knee and grabbed the cigarette pack on the table. Bernard couldn’t escape his gaze even an inch.
“Because you still love me… and care too much about Elliot.”
A faint sneer crossed Rubens’s face. The doorbell rang long again. The man who forcibly made Bernard stand up asked again for him to turn away the visitor instead. Pushed out, Bernard couldn’t produce any answer. He had no choice but to open the entrance door with a stiff face.
“Mr. Weil?”
When Bernard opened the door, the person standing at the door acknowledged him. But Bernard didn’t know his face.
“Oh my. Mr. Hurt told me there would be a visitor… I didn’t know it would be Mr. Weil.”
“Yes… Thank you. Your name?”
“I’m Dale Roman.”
Bernard exchanged a formal handshake with a dazed face and hastily continued.
“The business isn’t finished yet. Mr. Hurt asked me to tell you to go back.”
“He asked you that?”
“…Yes.”
“I understand. Then please tell Mr. Hurt to contact me.”
The man with a somewhat displeased look soon gave a clean greeting and turned around. Bernard was short of breath as if he had told a lie. Dale crossed the garden again at a pace neither fast nor slow. Bernard stared at his back intently. Like someone longing for something.
“Are you planning to run away?”
“Please.”
And behind Bernard like that, a quiet voice fell. Bernard desperately begged without knowing what he was pleading for, but the man didn’t back down.
“Close the door. Turn around. Hurry.”
Rubens’s voice scraped the floor impatiently. Bernard felt like his skin was being scraped by his voice. His whole body was terribly itchy.
