“The coffee smells wonderful.”
Perhaps finding Bernard’s behavior of staying holed up for nearly a week strange, Sarah and Liam had become insistent. Liam suddenly called Bernard to the study. Since it had been quite a while since Bernard had faced Liam one-on-one, he fidgeted with the handle of his coffee cup with an awkward expression.
“……The translation work is almost finished. I’ll be able to wrap it up soon.”
“Oh my, Bernard. You must think I called you here to scold you, but that wasn’t it.”
Liam’s expression as he let out a hearty laugh looked more gentle than usual. Something good must have happened. Bernard lowered his head in lieu of a response. This situation felt difficult. He had expected to be scolded for the translation being delayed.
“There’s a job I’d like to entrust to you. They say you’ll do it very well, and I agree. It’s nothing much. It’s ghostwriting. You just need to write the story well. Well, it’s not particularly difficult either.”
“……Whose ghostwriting is it?”
Liam’s dark green eyes sparkled with joy. His voice pouring forth was tinged with excitement. Bernard felt a strange unease at his appearance, as if he had latched onto some important figure. He pressed his fingertips firmly and tried hard to relax his tension, but it was useless.
“Mr. Hurt entrusted us with work, you see. What a joyous occasion this is!”
Unlike Liam, who dramatically raised his hand and burst into hearty laughter, Bernard’s face turned deathly pale. Bernard bit his lip while sitting as if burying himself in the chair’s back.
“Father, I.”
“He said you might refuse. He mentioned there was an incident? What on earth were you doing running around outside……. Mr. Hurt is a precious person. He’s someone who will greatly help our family and business. Do you understand?”
“……Yes.”
He was cut off before he could properly voice his refusal. Bernard didn’t know what Rubens had said, but it was obvious how Liam had reacted before him. Bernard lowered his head, ashamed of that.
He wanted to ask if helping the family meant that things between Elliot and him were that deep, but he only swallowed, knowing what a pathetic question that would be.
“Mr. Hurt is such a fine person. You should do well too. If things just work out with Elliot…… everything will go smoothly.”
“I see.”
“I don’t know what happened, but you should apologize.”
“Father.”
“You need to do well. This kind of opportunity doesn’t come often. A person’s life is divided by whether they seize the opportunities that come or not.”
Liam was a person with much desire for wealth and honor. His satisfied face seemed to be looking far into the future already. Bernard kept lowering his gaze to hide his bitter smile. Whatever he said, Liam wouldn’t listen. Before Liam’s greed, he always became small.
“I’ll work hard…….”
The voice he barely managed to pull out was faint.
“I will.”
He couldn’t know what Liam thought of Bernard’s forced smile. Liam’s face sank slightly. Bernard could only guess that he had done something wrong again.
“Go upstairs.”
“Yes.”
There wasn’t any great affection between father and son. There had been a time when Bernard alone struggled, needing his parents’ recognition. University was the product of that. He thought Liam would acknowledge him if he proudly graduated from a prestigious university. A better position. Greater prestige. However, such things were never for Bernard’s sake in the first place.
Rhino had once said, ‘Anywhere would welcome you with open arms if you just brought your diploma.’ But Bernard thought that was an unrealistic story. People who wanted Bernard usually desired his older brother Elliot more than him.
“Why is your expression like that?”
“Did Father call you?”
Elliot, who had been leaning against the study door, was startled at Bernard’s face and examined his complexion. Bernard had no answer to his question, so he threw out a different question. Perhaps because he had been constantly holed up in the house lately, Elliot’s worries had only piled up.
“He didn’t say something again, did he?”
“It was nothing.”
“……Bernard, everyone does it because they love you.”
Bernard’s face clouded slightly. The word ‘love’ was always easy. Elliot stroked his cheek, but Bernard’s expression didn’t know how to clear easily.
“Then, I know that too.”
He couldn’t help but know that the family’s love was all directed toward Elliot. Yes, people standing in the sunny spot can’t understand well those standing beneath the shade.
“Oh right. Rubens said he has something to ask and told you to contact him.”
“Mr. Hurt did?”
“Yeah. He said you agreed to take on a book. That’s great. It’ll be good experience for you too.”
Elliot continued talking for quite a while. Then, when he squeezed and released Bernard’s hand saying Liam was waiting and entered the study, Bernard stood there vacantly. Everyone seemed happy. It felt like he alone had become an outsider in a perfectly happy family.
He wanted to ask Elliot. If that person didn’t say anything else. If other people said anything strange. And if he hadn’t noticed the strange atmosphere between Rubens and himself.
Bernard’s face as he went up to his room looked somewhat like someone who had lost their soul. He belatedly fumbled with the phone he had kept off all week. He wondered if messages had piled up, but then thought there probably wasn’t anyone who would. After hesitation, when he pressed the power button, a long sound effect played and belated notifications appeared.
As usual, it was contact from Rhino. A text asking if he was okay, words asking if he was very sick, questions asking if he’d been to the hospital. Scrolling down a few more traces, he saw the last message that came yesterday.
[Rhino]: Please answer my messages.
His chest felt heavy. The last words he’d asked came to mind. He stopped recalling the answer Rhino had given to his question, ‘We’re friends, right.’ He shook his head to clear the situation.
Among the few contacts, the man’s contact was at the very top. It was all just tangled up like playing with fire that night. He had briefly hoped that maybe he really would find him, but everything had become twisted in the strangest form. Why wouldn’t this heart fly away lightly but instead coil up? Bernard called himself pathetic and pressed the call button.
– This is Rubens Hurt.
“……This is Bernard Weil.”
The dial tone wasn’t long. Bernard’s throat tightened.
If asked what he had been thinking about for a week, he had pondered many things. The current situation and what he could do. And also what he should and shouldn’t do. He’d had many thoughts about Rubens too, and concluded most were impossible stories. Most scenarios ended in unhappiness. There was no happiness in any scenario.
“You said you wanted to entrust me with work.”
– I’ve been waiting for you to contact me.
“…I’ll introduce you to the right person. There are better talents at other places…….”
– Weil. I designated you. There’s no one with talent like yours. Elliot told me. That you’ve actually been a great help with all the contracts.
His words were cut off. The man’s laughter could be heard faintly.
– It would be better to speak face to face.
“You know what the best outcome would be.”
– The best outcome I can produce right now is for you to listen to what I have to say.
It was incomprehensible behavior. His stomach churned with anxiety. Bernard recalled words he’d heard during his school days. Accusations that he was gloomy and unpleasant. They were right. He was feeling such emotions toward his brother’s lover.
– Since it’s almost the weekend, let’s meet Saturday evening at five o’clock.
The unilateral notification was still the same. Holding the phone after the call ended, Bernard realized that nothing was going as intended. It had always been like that. His life had often been stained by others’ intentions. Everyone seemed to think so. That it was okay to treat Bernard Weil carelessly…….
There was one thing he hadn’t been able to say to Rubens. I find it painful to see you.
It felt like if he opened any door, someone would come rushing out. As if they would cling to him roughly and cry out his brother’s name. In his dreams, people whose faces he didn’t know called Elliot’s name instead of his, and Bernard would weakly tremble and burst into tears. In the confusion, only sea-blue eyes were vivid.
When he turned around after ending the call, looking at the mirror hanging on the wall, Bernard could only crumple his expression vacantly. Cutting off one’s heart wasn’t as easy as it sounded.
In the mirror was a person with a fluttering face. Even though he was a man who only despised him, he couldn’t help the heart that pathetically fluttered from just that short phone call. It felt like decorating a page of a cheap romance novel. How did I end up liking him? Because of just that much kindness. Just, just that handful of…….
Affection was wicked. He couldn’t view that emotion, which fundamentally shook everything to its core, positively. Bernard covered his face and let out a sobbing breath.
Without a doubt, Bernard loved Elliot. He didn’t want to become harmful to him. He had to tell Rubens clearly. That he would stop everything and hoped for his cooperation. So you should also fulfill your role.
And when an irreversible situation came, he had resolved to disappear forever.
