During his childhood when circumstances were comfortable, Euiju’s parents went volunteering in various regions and visited diverse places to give their children varied experiences.
The Euiju family, having gone down to Gangwon-do for the children’s vacation, settled in one place and lived a brief countryside life. Lee Seongho visited the region’s traditional market and introduced it to young Euiju.
That place was a novel and fascinating location for young Euiju. The warmth of the countryside market was certainly exceptional—it was full of adults who wanted to give him everything they could, from bean paste rice cakes to snacks, whenever Euiju, who was a well-mannered and kind child, visited.
Among them, Euiju liked the shop that sold young animals the best.
—Oh my, our little cutie is here again.
The elderly shop owner who sold puppies crammed together in cages always welcomed Euiju warmly. Euiju would sit next to that grandfather and spend time endlessly watching the puppies whimpering and searching for milk.
The puppies were quickly sold and also quickly filled with new ones. However, there was one puppy that uniquely always kept its place.
It was a one-eyed puppy whose eye had developed an infection and eventually wouldn’t open, hardening as it was.
—Does it weigh on your heart?
Lee Seongho, who had come to pick up Euiju, asked this when his son only cared for and doted on that puppy.
—What does that mean?
—I’m asking if you want to hold, cherish, and treasure that friend when you see it.
Lee Seongho, rubbing Euiju’s cheek that had soot on it, asked affectionately. Euiju nodded his small face.
—When I go home, this puppy will be left here alone. It will be lonely.
Tears immediately welled up in Euiju’s eyes.
—Dad. Can’t we take it with us? My heart hurts so much.
Lee Seongho looked down at him as if it was cute.
—But Euiju. You remember noona got bitten by a dog last year, right?
—Yes…
—Mom and noona dislike puppies, so it’s difficult. Dad is busy, so I won’t be able to help you much.
—But it’s so pitiful. Even when new friends come in, it ends up alone. It will be scared being alone at night.
At those words, Lee Seongho laughed and picked up Euiju. Sob sob. He affectionately caressed Euiju’s eyes that were full of tears.
—Dad is happy because our Euiju is kind, but if you can’t take responsibility, you shouldn’t even start.
When Lee Seongho held out his hand, Euiju reflexively placed his hand in the large palm. Lee Seongho kneaded the small hand and said,
—When our Euiju’s hands grow more capable, let’s think about it again then. Okay?
Despite his dad’s persuasion, Euiju shook his head and looked down at the puppy, sobbing. Lee Seongho kissed Euiju’s cheek and persuaded him.
—Our Euiju, you’ll be entering school next year. Then the puppy will wait all day just for you to come. But you’ll make friends, and you’ll have more time playing outside, right?
—Mmm…
—Then all day long, that child will wait looking only at the door, wondering when you’ll come, where you are. If it becomes like that, I think that friend will become even more pitiful than now.
At Lee Seongho’s continued persuasion, young Euiju finally couldn’t hold back and burst into wailing tears. He couldn’t fully understand what it all meant, but the fact that the puppy had to be left alone ultimately broke his heart so much.
—Let’s pray to God so it can meet a good owner. It will probably meet one soon.
Euiju buried his face in his dad’s chest and sobbed. He ultimately had to give up on the small one-eyed puppy that kept appearing in his mind.
Adult Euiju wanted to ask his father in heaven again, even now. He desperately wanted an answer.
‘Dad. What do I do if I’ve already given my affection?’
‘What do I do if I’ve already made him follow me?’
He wanted to get an answer from someone, anyone.
***
Jin Haeseong firmly blocked the corridor entrance like someone who truly had no intention of letting Euiju leave. Taking a defensive posture, he was no longer the small physique from when they first met.
“Are you going to imprison me here?”
“Yes.”
Haeseong, who had been looking at Euiju coolly, opened his mouth as if reciting.
“I couldn’t sleep all this time. Even when I lay down sleepy, I couldn’t fall asleep. I was so angry that just lying down made heat surge from inside.”
His face with deep dark circles looked similar to Euiju’s complexion from a few days ago when he hadn’t slept a wink. No, if anything it was worse, not better.
“Dad left the country with his legal wife and child, leaving behind my dying mom. I clung to him and begged, asking him not to go to Dad, asking if he couldn’t not go, asking if he couldn’t live with me.”
“…”
“Isn’t it really coincidental? The place that bastard abandoned me to go was America.”
Haeseong blamed Euiju with emotionless eyes.
Euiju, who had made the same choice as his father.
Euiju, who had been looking at Haeseong’s pupils that seemed to have every darkness concentrated in them, took one step closer to him. He opened his mouth with a trembling voice.
“I’m sorry for notifying you without a proper explanation. I didn’t have time, and I thought you’d be more upset if you knew I was leaving you behind because of the child.”
“…”
“Haeseong-ah. Roun, if he doesn’t receive proper treatment, might die without even graduating elementary school. He’s a child who lost his parents at age two and has thought of me as a father his whole life. He’s my family, and he’s a life I have to be responsible for until the child grows up.”
Euiju approached slowly so as not to provoke Haeseong standing there menacingly. That’s when it happened.
“Don’t come closer.”
It stopped Euiju’s steps. With an attitude suggesting he would threaten him by any means if he came closer.
“What you’re saying is that no matter what kind of existence I’ve become to ahjussi, no matter what meaning I have, you’re going to leave. Even though I need ahjussi just as much.”
“Haeseong-ah.”
“I don’t understand that. Ahjussi is my manager. The contract period isn’t over, and the resignation hasn’t been accepted. Just send noona for your younger sibling’s matter. I’ll solve all the money. He can receive treatment in a better environment than if ahjussi goes directly.”
“…”
“I would have understood if ahjussi was the only adult in that household. But what will change if ahjussi goes? Does life expectancy go up if a biological sibling cries pathetically next to them or something!”
“Jin Haeseong. Are you going to talk like that!”
At Euiju’s rare shout, Haeseong’s pupils began to waver. If he was going to be like that, what imprisonment—it was clearly visible that he was hurt by even one shout.
It was something he’d felt before, but Haeseong’s logic was slightly off in places.
There was something Haeseong had said to Roun in the past.
—Kid. Your hyung is my manager before he’s your family, you know? That means he’s more important than family.
To a child who didn’t know familial affection well, who had grown up lonely his whole life, he believed that relationships bound by business and family relationships were similar things. Moreover, since his relationship with Euiju had become quite close, he couldn’t understand Euiju leaving him at all, despite there being the option of just sending Euiyeon.
Euiju was at a frustrating point, not knowing how to properly make Haeseong understand this.
“Ahjussi.”
Haeseong, whose eyes had softened slightly from before, called Euiju quietly. That face was full of fatigue.
“Adults all leave me or use me without exception. Some son of a bitch even approached me with dirty purposes. Why are all the people around me like that?”
“…”
“Even if everyone was like that, ahjussi at least shouldn’t be that way. You said you’d stay by my side. You said I became precious to you.”
“…”
“Don’t abandon me. Not me… abandon your family.”
“…What?”
“Stay here. Don’t go, stay here… cough, cough.”
A cracked voice burst out from his dry lips. Then, Haeseong, who had been standing upright, staggered as if his legs had lost strength. When surprised Euiju approached, Haeseong stood up supporting himself against the wall and blocked the path again. As Euiju approached, Haeseong’s eyes became vicious.
“Your complexion is too bad. Stop it and come here quickly. I’ll stay here for you today…”
Pfft, Haeseong laughed as if it was ridiculous.
“Planning to be gone when I wake up? Don’t make me laugh. Ahjussi can absolutely never leave here. I’ll prevent you from going.”
Though he said that, Haeseong’s legs eventually buckled. His body, which hadn’t properly eaten or slept for a week, couldn’t hold out any longer.
“Haeseong-ah!”
Unable to watch anymore, Euiju ran and caught him as he collapsed. Haeseong was only briefly surprised by the sudden contact before the familiar and desired body scent permeated deep into his nose, and he began trembling all over as if he’d been waiting for it.
Because of his now-grown body, it was impossible for Euiju to hold him freely like before. Euiju, who had firmly caught the collapsing Haeseong, bent down to carry him on his shoulder, but Haeseong’s actions were faster.
“Urgh—!”
Thanks to Haeseong pushing Euiju with all his might, the two collapsed onto the floor as is. Haeseong, fallen directly on top of Euiju, buried his face in his nape. Like an action of finding his place, he pulled Euiju’s body into an embrace with all his strength.
Haeseong felt his consciousness gradually fading. However, if he fell asleep now, his manager would leave immediately.
He wanted to imprison him but didn’t have that ability. He wanted to prevent him from going, but no method came to mind at all. If given time, he wanted to follow him somehow, but looking at the situation, it didn’t seem like Euiju would wait for him. It didn’t seem like his aunt would give up on him either.
Because this might be their last meeting, Haeseong thought he had to persuade him somehow.
From the child, a severely cracked voice that looked too difficult to even speak began to flow out.
