“Haeseong-ah. I told you that if you do well without being lazy, Dad will come back. You said you’d do well, so what are you doing already falling behind like this?”
Haeseong’s acting career began solely for the sake of the parents who gave birth to him.
J Group. One of the companies supporting South Korea’s economic system, wielding numerous affiliates and employees. Chairman Jin, who established, reinforced, and raised the company, had a total of three children with his legal wife: the eldest son Jin Yeongchan, who would become the pillar and shape the future; the second daughter Jin Yeongseol, full of ambition; and the youngest, Jin Yeongjin.
Compared to those two brilliant and accomplished individuals, Jin Yeongjin had ordinary looks and unremarkable abilities, and even his personality was unambitious and simple. Unlike Jin Yeongchan and Jin Yeongseol, who made their names known publicly, he simply grew up as an ordinary and upright young man.
However, even if he received less attention, as the child of a large corporation, Jin Yeongjin had his marriage arranged from birth. Jin Yeongjin had no intention of going against his family’s wishes and naturally complied, getting engaged during his high school years.
But true love always appears unexpectedly and suddenly—when Jin Yeongjin encountered An Haesu, who was working various jobs due to difficult family circumstances, he fell in love in an instant.
The more you deny it, the more it burns; the more you hit walls, the more stubborn you become—this was basic human nature and heart. An Haesu, who had fiercely rejected Jin Yeongjin since he already had a fiancée at the time, couldn’t refuse the simple young man who charged straight ahead showing sincerity and unwavering devotion. After confirming each other’s feelings, the two nurtured their love by focusing on each other day by day, like Gyeonwoo and Jingnyeo who could only meet on the seventh day of the seventh month.
And so, they finally created the fruit that was Jin Haeseong.
However, just because their love began didn’t mean Jin Yeongjin’s fiancée disappeared. Around the time Haeseong was born, Jin Yeongjin held a wedding ceremony with his arranged match due to family pressure.
Jin Yeongjin, who had lived under the pressure of his siblings, loved for the first time and liked the framework of an ordinary family that he had cultivated with his own hands. Even after marriage, Jin Yeongjin went out to see An Haesu and Haeseong, and Jin Yeongjin’s legal wife and Chairman Jin overlooked this.
That is, until Jin Taeyang, Haeseong’s younger brother and the legitimate son, was born.
After Jin Taeyang was born to the legal wife, the pressure on Jin Yeongjin gradually intensified. It was Chairman Jin’s will that he not go out since there were watching eyes, and focus on Jin Taeyang instead. Moreover, when problems arose in the affiliate that Jin Yeongjin was responsible for managing, Jin Yeongjin, vulnerable to stress, began to grow increasingly exhausted.
They say misfortune always comes in layers. Around the time the pressure from the Chairman and the legal wife’s side was intensifying, An Haesu, whose health had never been good to begin with, fell ill with a terrible disease. The days she had to stay hospitalized increased, and the days she didn’t open her eyes gradually multiplied.
Originally indecisive and weak in asserting himself, he couldn’t bear the stress as the pressure intensified, and when An Haesu, whom he thought of as his lifelong companion, also fell ill and became a pitiful sight, he gradually changed his mind.
Gradually, he began visiting less often those he had thought of as his real family.
Young Haeseong sat on the cot in the luxurious, spacious single-person hospital room, dangling his feet, waiting for his father whose visits were becoming increasingly infrequent. Holding tightly onto the hand of his mother, who was awake less often and asleep more often, he remained completely still, doing nothing at all.
“Nurse noona. When is my dad coming?”
“Well. If you wait just a little longer, won’t he come?”
Jin Yeongjin, who had nothing but money, made sufficient investments in Haeseong and An Haesu. However, that was all he did.
Haeseong was always alone. A dad who didn’t answer his calls. A mom who was never awake. Even though he was at an age that desperately needed adult care, Haeseong was neglected. Only the caregiver Jin Yeongjin hired with a lot of money took care of the things necessary to sustain life.
On the occasional days when An Haesu opened her eyes, Haeseong would smile happily and act cutely to his heart’s content.
The framework of family was gradually breaking, and his parents had suddenly disappeared, so he was an incredibly lonely child. Haeseong would crawl into An Haesu’s embrace, now left with only bones, and smile with his eyes while smelling her scent.
“Mom, when you were sleeping, something happened. The nurse noona patted my cheek saying it was cute, but I thought she was hitting me and almost got really angry. But noona said no and gave me candy…”
“Haeseong-ah. Your father? Where is your father? Hmm?”
“Ah, Dad… he hasn’t come yet.”
Every time An Haesu opened her eyes, she looked for her partner, not her child. She showed no interest at all in how Haeseong had been doing while she was asleep, how his school life was, or who was taking care of his daily life.
“Your dad… abandoned us.”
An Haesu, who realized through Jin Yeongjin’s absence that he had chosen his family, fell into great despair. The days when their love burned brightly had faded, and all the promises they had made had lost their color. Even though she had been betrayed by his heart that she thought would be eternal, she still endlessly wanted Jin Yeongjin.
“Hae, Haeseong-ah. Try calling Dad. Tell him Mom woke up, tell him Mom said she can’t live without Dad. Okay?”
Haeseong embraced the sobbing An Haesu in his small arms and patted her. On those small hands was a deep paper cut from doing homework. When Mom woke up, he had planned to act spoiled as much as he could, saying he was hurt, saying it hurt, but instead, he comforted Mom with those very wounded hands.
Pat pat. An Haesu, immersed in sadness, didn’t embrace Haeseong who was hugging her back, and was only busy pouring out her own grief.
“Mom. I’ll make sure Dad comes, so don’t cry.”
The baby bird’s oriole-like voice spoke kind words to his mother, but they didn’t reach An Haesu, who was submerged in grief and despair.
Time continued to pass.
The quiet and desolate life of reading books or watching TV alone in the large hospital room where An Haesu lay made the emotion of loneliness increasingly familiar to Haeseong. As time passed, his words sharply decreased. He had been a child who remembered fun things and spoke prettily and chattily, but there was no one at all to listen to him.
Acting spoiled and clinging to Mom or Dad, or other adults who adored him, also gradually decreased. Because there was no one to hold him.
The heart of a child, which should have been filled only with bright and healthy things, gradually became desolate and dry.
“Dad? Dad still hasn’t come?”
“Yes. I’m sorry, Mom…”
No matter how desperately he waited, Jin Yeongjin didn’t come, and young Haeseong harbored such thoughts in his heart.
If I had been a little more well-behaved, a little more lovable, wouldn’t Father have come? Maybe Dad is still angry because I begged him to buy me a toy last time.
Maybe now he likes the newly born baby brother more than me?
When he began to blame himself for everything, someone came to Haeseong.
“You miss Dad, right? Aunt knows a way—do you want to hear it?”
It was Jin Yeongseol, who had taken over J Entertainment as scandal after scandal erupted, and was just barely running the company without any major achievements.
She knew all the facts and had a brilliant mind that knew how to use them. She tempted Haeseong, who had quite outstanding looks resembling his mother, with a kind voice.
“If Haeseong goes on TV and becomes really famous, who knows. Maybe Dad will come saying ‘my son is amazing.’ I work in that kind of business—won’t you give it a try?”
Jin Yeongseol’s proposal was too great a temptation for an eight-year-old child, exhausted to the limit by his lonely life, to refuse. Mom’s words that she felt like she could shake off her illness and get up if only Dad came back made Haeseong a child who could only nod his head.
After his debut, there were always overflowing people who went wild over Haeseong in the camera. They praised Haeseong’s unrealistic appearance, always paid attention to him, and poured out unstinting love.
His parents had essentially abandoned him, yet watching the fans who were fanatically obsessed with him, young Haeseong came to this conclusion.
Only the fabricated me inside the camera has value in existing. Not my real self, but only the fabricated me is loved and receives attention.
That result brought about Haeseong’s abnormal obsession with his height and appearance.
A person’s desire to be loved was bound to show itself. As time passed, the public’s attention and affection pouring onto him became the driving force that barely sustained Haeseong, who was on the verge of collapse.
That’s why Haeseong hated the people close around him. The public gave him love while watching from afar, but those around him didn’t. He hated them for seeing through the worthless true self hidden behind his glamorous appearance and acting ability. He acted sensitively, put on airs, and pretended to be strong, afraid that his real self—timid, weak, and with low self-esteem—would be discovered. As a result, he inevitably became sharper with each passing day.
***
“Dad didn’t come until Mom passed away. Aunt said if I just worked hard, she’d let me see Dad, so I really worked hard. Even though I was young, if I got scolded, I took it; if I was told to do something, I did it. But still, Dad never came until the end.”
[……]
“After my younger brother was born, he treated us like fakes. As if his real life was there, he treated Mom and me like we didn’t exist.”
The story about his past that he was telling someone for the first time was matter-of-fact. Since he had never told anyone, Haeseong felt somehow refreshed—so this is why people have conversations with someone and open up.
“Are you listening?”
He was a little worried. Had he said it for nothing? Would his worthless past seem pathetic? Would Euiju look down on him for growing up without proper parents?
When there was no response from Euiju, Haeseong grew increasingly anxious. During the brief silence, he bit his lips nervously.
[Haeseong-ah.]
Euiju’s voice, much lower than usual, flowed through the phone. Haeseong, who had been extremely tense, pressed the phone even closer to his ear.
At the low voice of Euiju that soon followed, Haeseong’s body froze in place.
