Quiet Eyes
“…What did you say?”
“Hmm….”
Gepetto scratched his cheek as if troubled.
The carriage was already moving. The feeling of running over frozen ground seemed to transmit through my buttocks.
“…I didn’t ignore it on purpose.”
Gepetto tilted his head.
“Of course.”
“…You think it’s natural? You don’t think I deliberately ignored it?”
Gepetto’s eyes widened. As if to say, where would such an absurd statement come from?
“Did you deliberately ignore it?”
“No!!”
I answered as if screaming.
“I knew you hadn’t!”
“Then why….”
I made a troubled expression.
I couldn’t quite bring myself to ask why he made that expression, so I closed my mouth.
Then Gepetto tapped the seat.
“Ren. I have something to say, so please listen seriously.”
“…Suddenly?”
At this timing, something serious?
I instantly turned my head away and thought of Hyung who had left the carriage.
“Hyung! Is Hyung sick somewhere?”
“No, Ren. Calm down. Temarr-nim has no problems!”
Gepetto seemed slightly flustered, but he stared into my eyes piercingly as if proclaiming his innocence. I was going to suspect him of lying if his eyelashes trembled, but Gepetto didn’t budge at all.
“…Then what is it??”
“It’s about Ren.”
“……”
About me?
What would Physician Gepetto have to say about me?
“Haha… Ren. Don’t stare at me like that. Um, actually you can listen lightly.”
“……”
I narrowed my eyes and looked at Gepetto suspiciously.
Is it really something I can listen to lightly? Then why are you dragging it out like this! It’s making my heart pound for nothing! I glared at him crookedly to hide my anxious feelings.
“Ren… um.”
“…Why do you keep dragging it out?”
“Well….”
Gepetto, who had been scratching the back of his head, sighed.
“I’ll just tell you in an easy-to-understand way.”
What are you trying to say?
Without realizing it, my lips jutted out sulkily.
“Ren. Do you think you’re healthy?”
“…What on earth does that mean?”
“Your heart.”
“…Why do you keep looking for other people’s hearts?”
“Hmm.”
Gepetto bit his lip and muttered, ‘Is this not it?’ He seemed to have a lot he wanted to say but couldn’t organize it. Or maybe my attitude made him uncomfortable so he couldn’t speak freely.
But what can I do!!
I didn’t want to hear what Gepetto had to say!
Heart, why do we need to talk about such an uncomfortable topic? Hearts are originally uncomfortable! See, even now it’s uncomfortable.
Do all adults become fools? Or do they become naive?
‘Huh… But I think I talked with Gepetto about hearts once before….’
“Ugh….”
“Ren. What’s wrong?”
“My head… hurt for a moment.”
Gepetto’s expression became serious for an instant before returning to normal. It was such a quick change of expression I wondered if I’d imagined it.
“I see. It could be from motion sickness.”
Gepetto, who seemed like he would interrogate me about which part of my head hurt and how much, obediently backed down. He comforted me saying headaches were a common symptom so it was fine, and I should just close my eyes and rest instead.
I don’t know why he suddenly changed from wanting to talk about my heart, about my feelings.
But avoiding an uncomfortable topic is a gain!
I squeezed my eyes shut before Gepetto could change his mind.
Sleep came easily.
***
“Is Ren asleep?”
“Yes, very soundly.”
His body aching from riding the carriage for so long, Gepetto twisted his waist this way and that. There was a cracking sound. Perhaps embarrassed, he rubbed the back of his neck and smiled. Ruman wore his usual smile at the corner of his mouth as he looked inside the carriage.
As Gepetto said, Ren was sleeping soundly with gentle breathing.
Today would be their last camping for a while.
“Should I wake him?”
“No. Let’s just let him sleep. He’ll wake up if he’s hungry.”
Night hadn’t completely fallen yet.
While Temarr went out to patrol the surroundings, Ruman deployed a small barrier magic. Golden threads shot from his fingertips, instantly wrapping widely around the carriage before disappearing.
“Truly amazing!”
Gepetto couldn’t hide his admiration and exclaimed it out loud.
“Is that so?”
“Of course! Is this what magic is?”
“Magic…. Well. We just call it the Hero’s authority.”
“Ooh.”
Gepetto’s eyes sparkled as if interested, but unfortunately Ruman wasn’t the type to kindly teach by allocating his own time without any benefit. Though he’d forgotten that for a moment.
Gepetto, noticing that the handsome man with a kind smile, Ruman, wouldn’t explain, quietly retreated and sat down.
When Ruman lit a campfire, Temarr soon returned.
The two exchanged glances without words.
Gepetto looked at the two of them curiously.
When Temarr tried to put the ‘tol’ he’d prepared directly into the fire pit, Ruman snatched the tol away.
“Why?”
“To remove the tough meat.”
“What for?”
Ruman chuckled.
Because even he found it funny that he was doing such bothersome work.
“So Ren can eat it easily.”
“……”
Temarr’s lips only twitched.
“Is it alright for him to eat meat?”
As Ruman swiftly sliced the meat smoothly, the tough parts were cleanly separated. Gepetto nodded while watching those skillful hand movements.
“Yes. Since it’s a psychological problem….”
Ruman shook his head slightly. It meant to watch his words.
In fact, Ruman still hadn’t gotten over the shock.
Ren didn’t remember at all that he’d had a seizure.
He wasn’t the only one shocked by that fact. Temarr was also making an indescribable expression. Since Gepetto was the same, Temarr’s feelings… couldn’t be explained.
Even Ruman himself felt this bitter.
Trauma.
Was it trauma to the extent that he wanted to forget even the fact that he’d had a seizure because of it?
As he skewered the meat well and roasted it over the campfire, Ruman felt a moment of regret.
At their first meeting. Should he have treated Ren more gently?
Before leaving, should he have not just broken both wrists of the baker’s son, but beaten up all the villagers? If not that, should he have brought the pharmacist old man who seemed to be on friendly terms with Ren?
When Ren’s condition was okay, shouldn’t he have asked Ren more about what happened in the village?
The story he heard from Ren… was both absurd and made his insides boil. For something to be dismissed as trivial, Ren was a young boy, and they were selfish adults.
From taking household items from his home, there seemed to be no labor they hadn’t made the child do. Worse than that was Ren saying resignedly and bluntly, ‘All the good things got taken away.’ Ren who seemed to have no expectations whatsoever in human relationships. ‘You don’t have to do that just because I’m your fellow junior. We’re going to part ways anyway.’ A boy who thought of separation first without any attachment to relationships.
Why did Ren’s appearance… resemble a Hero who had rolled through battlefields?
And yet he liked cute things and was happy petting Rante’s fur. While having no expectations of humans, he jumped off cliffs for others and pushed his chest into swords.
Ruman couldn’t understand what Ren was made of.
I should have asked more actively.
He had a bitter taste.
Why… was Ren bothering him? He was someone who would leave soon.
Ruman thought for a moment. Perhaps Ren’s words might be right.
‘If we’re going to part ways soon, isn’t it better to know less about each other?’
That if you’re going to separate, building affection and getting close is a foolish thing.
There were still a few days of grace remaining, yet his chest tingled—wasn’t that proof?
But Ruman brushed aside that thought.
Because even just those few days remaining… felt good enough to make his chest tingle.
“It’s burning.”
“You eat it.”
“……”
When he held out the burnt skewer, Temarr received it without complaint and ate it.
“Temarr.”
Chewing the meat thoroughly, Temarr looked at Ruman.
Ruman wanted to lecture that guy who had no communication skills. But would it properly register?
Perhaps rather than persistently asking Ren about his past, it might have been better to teach Temarr during their travels.
“Eat a lot.”
Ruman shook his head.
Stirring things up now might be worse.
He didn’t know if things would be okay as they were, but even if they weren’t okay, he only felt resignation that there was nothing to be done.
Perhaps Ren might be better off in his current state too.
Angry and bristling with thorns. If so, wouldn’t he not be easily hurt?
Looking at Temarr who knew nothing, Ruman somehow felt miserable himself, but for these brothers… that might be better.
‘He’s my younger brother.’
Temarr’s words had settled heavily in Ruman’s chest like an anchor. In a form that made it difficult to interfere further.
“Oh….”
Gepetto, who had been quietly warming himself by the campfire, stopped and raised his head.
At his admiration, both Ruman and Temarr naturally lifted their eyes.
In the sky where darkness was dimly settling, snow began to fall.
Snow that looked like tiny white salt sparkled as it fell. It was snow that looked just like starlight.
Ruman quietly watched the snow, then looked at Temarr.
A solid face where his thoughts couldn’t be read.
Temarr didn’t seem to have any intention of getting up from his seat. He stopped eating and was gazing endlessly at the snow. His deep bronze-colored eyes looked even blacker as night descended.
Gepetto fidgeted his bottom then picked up some meat after seeing Ruman stand up from his seat.
Ruman entered the carriage to wake Ren.
Since he’s a child, wouldn’t he like snow?
