Repetition
Seo Eunho had actually thought the reason Tae Shinwoo called him to the company was to have sex in the office. If he had any real intentions, he wouldn’t make him, who had no experience, do work.
“What’s your schedule for the afternoon?”
But Tae Shinwoo seemed to have no such intentions. With the question repeated for several days now, just hearing Tae Shinwoo’s voice was enough to make his head throb.
“……A meeting.”
Tracing his vague memory, Seo Eunho answered slowly. His eyes moved busily as he examined Tae Shinwoo’s schedule that he’d received from the secretarial office since morning.
Why did he have so much to do all day? Thanks to that, Seo Eunho’s difficulties continued endlessly.
“With who?”
When there were several secretaries employed for Tae Shinwoo, his spite in deliberately asking him was terrible. Seo Eunho barely checked the following schedule and opened his lips.
“Development team, design team……”
“The agenda?”
“Haah……”
A sigh burst out simultaneously with the question. Seo Eunho inadvertently opened his lips.
“Do I need to know that?”
Tae Shinwoo shrugged his shoulders and answered leisurely.
“You should.”
Tae Shinwoo’s face returning the concise answer was slightly furrowed as if asking whether he had to say what he’d already said again. Seo Eunho rubbed his face roughly.
In fact, Seo Eunho had asked the same thing on the first day too. Still, the answer had been quite kind that day. He’d brought up the fucking reason that he should know how the company runs so his work would improve faster.
Was he seriously planning to make him do this work? If not, didn’t he not need to do the work well?
He probably just found it fun to watch him struggle. Or the purpose was to torment him by planting the absurd dream that he could keep working here.
It was a reasonably sound thought. It was nothing more than a method to keep him by his side and make him mistakenly think this was his as if it belonged to him.
You haven’t changed at all.
Seo Eunho let out an empty laugh and recited the agenda he’d confirmed from the schedule he’d received as is. Even as he spoke about some series concept proposal or whatever, he didn’t understand exactly what he was doing. One thing was certain—it was a world far removed from him.
“I see.”
Tae Shinwoo had an indifferent attitude. He must have clearly remembered everything.
It wasn’t that Seo Eunho had received Tae Shinwoo’s schedule from the first day. As far as he could guess, Tae Shinwoo memorized the entire day’s schedule briefing that one secretary came in to give as soon as he arrived at work. So there was no need for Seo Eunho to remember Tae Shinwoo’s schedule. Tae Shinwoo asking Seo Eunho about the schedule was just spite.
‘The scheduled meeting time has passed but you haven’t come out. Is there a change in plans? Should we postpone the meeting?’
It was quite a plausible thought. Thinking about what the secretary who’d come in with a somewhat urgent knock that first afternoon had said, it was like that. He had a very flustered face as if this was the first time for such a thing.
‘Ah, there was a meeting? Seo Eunho-ssi didn’t say anything. So I thought there was no schedule.’
Tae Shinwoo’s leisurely face that followed. Unable to hide his puzzled expression, the secretary lost his words. His gaze slowly turned to Seo Eunho before quickly falling away. Because of that, a silence fell in the office for a moment.
‘……I apologize. I’ll make sure to communicate the schedule separately.’
Still, the man regained his composure quite quickly. At the man’s words, Tae Shinwoo twisted the corners of his mouth.
‘Director Kim probably didn’t know either. When I put him close as a secretary, I didn’t think he’d just sit still doing nothing.’
‘……’
‘These things should be handled on your own. Right?’
‘No. I failed to look after it. I apologize.’
Watching the man bow his head repeatedly made him feel like he was sitting on a bed of thorns. Seo Eunho barely held back from snapping at him, asking if he’d really put him there to do secretary work, wasn’t that not it? Since it was obvious he’d try to tell him why he was here then, it would be like spitting on his own face.
‘Right. Director-nim needs to take good care of it. Seo Eunho-ssi is part of the secretarial office, isn’t he?’
‘Yes, I apologize.’
‘Just don’t do things to apologize for.’
At that time, Seo Eunho clearly saw with his own two eyes the man’s complexion turn pale. From that day on, quite detailed schedules were delivered every morning, and Seo Eunho obediently received them. Though he thought it wasn’t his job to do, if he refused, the one in trouble wouldn’t be Tae Shinwoo but that man.
“What’s next?”
He knew that whether the man was troubled or not had nothing to do with him. However, as long as Tae Shinwoo was involved, it was also difficult to completely withdraw his attention.
Because he knew that in order to wield what he wanted as he pleased, he didn’t care what happened to the people around him. Seo Eunho didn’t want to deliberately create innocent victims.
Perhaps Kim Junseong was also a victim. Looking at how he’d trembled and hidden after Tae Shinwoo appeared, it was a hypothesis with enough possibility. Since it was Tae Shinwoo who’d also gotten rid of Seo Eunho’s father saying he was interfering with his work, it wasn’t an impossible story at all.
“There isn’t any.”
At the not-so-good thought, Seo Eunho’s voice naturally became blunt. It was a tone that said it was very bothersome.
“Eunho-ya.”
There was no way Tae Shinwoo hadn’t noticed that. At his name called out lowly, Seo Eunho raised his head. Like the quite gentle voice, Tae Shinwoo’s face was also relaxed.
“You have to do your work properly. That way I won’t regret the money either.”
An empty laugh came out at the words spoken as if admonishing. Seo Eunho had absolutely no desire to commute to this company. It was Tae Shinwoo who’d pushed him relentlessly and made him nod his head inadvertently.
“Just let me do the work I was doing. Who said they wanted to work here?”
He’d nodded his head when he was half out of his mind. Come to think of it, he had no obligation to stick to his position here. It was a relationship where they hadn’t even written a contract to begin with.
The absurd fact came to mind belatedly. He wasn’t even a dog. He felt truly pathetic for not raising any questions, as if he thought he had to obey Tae Shinwoo’s words.
“Isn’t this better than suffering at a construction site? You’re saying strange things.”
It was a tone that said he genuinely didn’t understand.
Though his body might be a bit tired, the work he originally did was much more comfortable mentally. Even if it was a situation where he could be suddenly fired at any time. In fact, any kind of work seemed better than having to constantly be in the same space as Tae Shinwoo, who only made his heart restless. Moreover, even this current position was the same in that it wouldn’t be strange to be suddenly kicked out at any time.
“This wasn’t included in the contract you initially proposed.”
Seo Eunho spoke firmly with his head held stiffly. Once he realized the strangeness, there was nothing to hold back. He didn’t need to adjust everything to what Tae Shinwoo wanted. What Tae Shinwoo demanded from the beginning was only sex.
Anyway. If he didn’t keep his mind straight, he was always being swayed by Tae Shinwoo. Looking at how he was shaken every time, he was truly incredibly stupid. Seo Eunho let out a hollow laugh and stood up from his seat. He intended to leave this space immediately.
“Sit down. We’re not done talking yet.”
It was a voice that seemed quite kind, but Tae Shinwoo’s face was frozen as cold as ice.
Whether he was scared, or had become Pavlov’s dog. Seo Eunho couldn’t quite ignore those words and rush out of the office. Why had he become so weak? Perhaps he should be thankful that at least he didn’t sit down as he was told.
“Do it the original way. Don’t pull these kinds of tricks.”
To hide his soft heart, Seo Eunho spoke even more sharply. How ridiculous was he, doing everything as told for several days and only now realizing there was no need for this? An idle thought came and went.
“I really don’t understand. It’s a fact that this is more comfortable than that kind of work, isn’t it? But why do you dislike it? Plus, I’m thinking of giving you much more money.”
That damn money.
As soon as Tae Shinwoo finished speaking, Seo Eunho’s face crumpled with a rush. That was always the problem.
Money, money, money. Because of that fucking money, his life had been a series of hardships. Tae Shinwoo proudly occupied a place in those hardships.
What the hell was it anyway? How long would he have to be shaken like this because of such a thing?
“Think about it. Is it over once you pay off the debt? What about living expenses? The work you originally did doesn’t pay much.”
“Ha.”
Seo Eunho roughly tousled the hair that had naturally fallen down. His insides were boiling to the point where he wanted to pour out a barrage of curses, but at the same time, he felt like he didn’t want to talk.
“You’re not being prideful, are you?”
“……”
“It’s better than doing work that only exhausts your body to save pennies. No matter how I think about it, this side is more beneficial, so why do you dislike it?”
Unlike Seo Eunho, Tae Shinwoo’s hair was neatly groomed. The words slowly spat out in an equally calm tone, regrettably, only stoked Seo Eunho’s anger.
“Beneficial. Right, fuck. So many benefits.”
His voice trembled, suppressing his anger.
“……But beneficial or whatever, I don’t need it. I hate you so much that nothing is as painful as staying in one space for a long time.”
He liked Tae Shinwoo. The feelings accumulated from long ago were still tormenting Seo Eunho.
“I really hate you.”
But separately from that, he hated Tae Shinwoo. How hard had he run away? It was fucking awful that he appeared in his life again and shook him. Even knowing it would be the same ending, he felt wronged every time he realized his heart was still intact.
It was all because of the comfort Tae Shinwoo had given him. Those moments were holding onto his ankles.
Tae Shinwoo was nasty. The intent to create a comfortable environment and trap him in his hands while he was intoxicated by the comfort was terrible.
Because after that, he’d abandon him. Tae Shinwoo would abandon without regret the him who’d become an idiot who couldn’t do anything without Tae Shinwoo.
This was a fact he’d realized 12 years ago. That’s why he’d gritted his teeth and run away, hadn’t he? Afraid he might believe Tae Shinwoo couldn’t have done such a thing, he hadn’t looked back.
At that time, Seo Eunho was afraid to leave Tae Shinwoo’s side. But he was much more afraid of Tae Shinwoo leaving him. So he left him first. Because if he didn’t, he felt like he’d collapse.
But now, a repetition again. Seo Eunho didn’t want to be swayed by Tae Shinwoo like back then. It was something that shouldn’t happen.
Soon Tae Shinwoo stood up from his seat. Seo Eunho looked at Tae Shinwoo approaching without moving.
“I know.”
Along with a calm voice, Tae Shinwoo got close in one breath.
“Urk!”
At the same time, he grabbed Seo Eunho’s hair and made him kneel on the floor. At the force so strong he couldn’t even think of resisting, Seo Eunho, who’d been knocked down, let out a groan.
“That’s why you ran away.”
But Tae Shinwoo’s flat voice didn’t care about Seo Eunho’s state at all. Soon Tae Shinwoo, who sat in the chair, spread his legs and pulled Seo Eunho’s face. Seo Eunho, whose face was instantly shoved into his crotch, struggled and pushed away Tae Shinwoo’s thighs. However, at Tae Shinwoo stomping down on his shin with his shoe as if telling him not to resist, Seo Eunho had no choice but to be helplessly subjected to it.
“You seem to have forgotten your position.”
“Kuk.”
This time Tae Shinwoo’s shoe firmly trampled Seo Eunho’s genitals. While he crouched unable to do anything, Tae Shinwoo’s cold voice poured down over his head.
“You don’t have anything like a choice.”
At the words that made his heart sink, Seo Eunho squeezed his eyes shut. It was a fact he already knew. Looking at his actions, he could guess as much.
“You’re just my thing.”
However, no matter how much he’d been guessing, there was definitely a difference from hearing it directly from the person himself.
Seo Eunho tried to hide the miserable emotion welling up along with the chilling sensation. To such a Seo Eunho, Tae Shinwoo kindly added words.
“And things…… can’t think.”
