A suit was uncomfortable after all. It seemed to be because it was so different from his usual attire. Seo Eunho walked down the street, concerned about whether his clothes were wrinkled. In the shopping bag he held were the clothes he’d been wearing when he left home.
It was natural since he hadn’t said anything to his father. If he told him he’d quit his job and started working at a company, he wouldn’t be able to comprehend it. He himself was the same. Well, he could explain it somehow if he tried, but he didn’t want to make him think his circumstances had improved even a little.
So, Tae Shinwoo had told Seo Eunho to come to work at his office. Distracted by pleasure, he’d mindlessly nodded and this mess had resulted. An office instead of a construction site. It was quite unsuitable for someone of his station.
Of course, even if he’d been in his right mind, he couldn’t have refused what Tae Shinwoo wanted. Tae Shinwoo would have obtained what he wanted anyway, so saying he didn’t want to would have just resulted in a lengthy dispute. It was better this way, with things being decided vaguely.
Seo Eunho comforted his frustrated heart in that way. His steps were heavy and he still didn’t feel like going.
‘What am I supposed to do when I get there?’
‘What do you mean? You’ll act as my secretary by my side.’
“Ha……”
Seo Eunho let out a deep sigh. Secretary sounded nice, but it could only be heard as meaning he’d enjoy himself thoroughly in the office. His memory wasn’t clear because he’d been out of it, but it seemed Tae Shinwoo had actually said something like that in the office.
Even if not, the reason was obvious anyway. It was a far more plausible thought than him, who hadn’t learned anything, actually working there.
“……”
Seo Eunho briefly stopped walking at the massive company building visible even from afar, then moved slowly. He’d left a bit earlier than the commute time he’d been told, so there was no need to rush.
Around him, office workers in similar attire moved with employee IDs hanging from their necks. Seo Eunho kept glancing at them unnecessarily. Even though it was the same world, he felt the subtle sensation of entering a place different from where he’d lived. Seo Eunho tousled his hair to erase the useless feeling.
Though he was wearing the suit Tae Shinwoo had given him, he still didn’t know how to tie a necktie, and buttoning up to the top felt stifling, so his shirt was left unbuttoned. The shirt he’d shoved carelessly into his pants was obviously all wrinkled, and his jacket was also unbuttoned. It wasn’t a neat appearance by any measure, so there was no way his hair would be different.
At first, he’d thought he should pay attention to it. However, that thought itself felt somewhat ridiculous. He was different from the people passing by. Just because he was standing in the same space didn’t mean he lived in the same world. Seo Eunho was just glimpsing their world briefly because of Tae Shinwoo’s games.
So there was no need to struggle to make himself look neat. The conclusion was simple. What he had to do was keep pace with Tae Shinwoo’s obsession that was growing more intense by the day.
‘Cover all these marks well when you come.’
‘……’
‘Hm? It’s disgusting if someone sees them and imagines shitty things.’
Tae Shinwoo had said that while looking at the marks he’d made. When he’d been struggling to cover them with patches, he’d told him to take them off, but his moods changed like boiling porridge.
Seo Eunho knew that stemmed from Tae Shinwoo’s obsession. It was possessiveness defining him as his own and trying to handle him as he pleased.
He didn’t know exactly from what point it had intensified, but in any case, he thought Tae Shinwoo wanted him to be swayed by that obsession like before.
Tae Shinwoo must have clearly known that he was swayed by his obsession and also anticipated it. Because he kept being concerned about their meetings, looking at his phone, checking his appearance, showing his heart as it was.
But since all those behaviors had disappeared, from Tae Shinwoo’s position, it might be somewhat irritating. So perhaps he was struggling to make him become like before again.
However, Seo Eunho had no intention of acting stupidly anymore. Now that he’d recognized he’d fallen into the same trap as before, he had to somehow escape from that swamp. Seo Eunho clearly knew how instantaneously his whole body could be immersed in a swamp he thought had only caught his ankle slightly. How agonizing it had been to be trapped in the swamp was also vivid. Knowing that, he couldn’t act exactly the same as before.
“The company’s fucking huge.”
He’d been walking slowly and before he knew it, he was in front of Tae Shinwoo’s company. What was it, Managing Director? How high a position was Managing Director?
Erasing the idle curiosity, Seo Eunho moved his steps to enter the company building.
“Good morning.”
Someone who recognized Seo Eunho first suddenly approached.
“Ah.”
A short exclamation followed. It was because it was the man who’d almost lost an eye because of Tae Shinwoo a while ago. Though a small wound remained at the corner of his lips, fortunately he didn’t seem to be hurt anywhere else.
At the relief he felt involuntarily, Seo Eunho laughed briefly. It was because it was ridiculous to think he would have naturally done something to the man after that.
What was the reason for attaching the same man again? Was it a warning not to forget how to conduct himself since he’d been through it once?
“I’ll escort you to the Managing Director’s office.”
Seo Eunho only nodded without answering. The man also didn’t say anything. There was nothing he particularly wanted to say, and the man wouldn’t want to exchange words with him either.
The silence that continued while going to the office wasn’t uncomfortable for that reason. Rather, what bothered him were the unfamiliar people glancing at him.
Seo Eunho followed the man while rigidly ignoring them. However, he couldn’t help letting out a small sigh as soon as he got on the elevator. The man didn’t even look back.
“This way.”
The elevator went up to quite a high floor. Perhaps it was just his feeling, but it didn’t take long. Without even a moment to lean back, the elevator doors opened again.
What he saw as soon as the doors opened were people sitting next to a large door. Four people he was seeing for the first time stood up from their seats as if they’d been waiting. Then they bowed their heads toward Seo Eunho.
At the polite greeting, Seo Eunho also bowed. At the same time, heat rose to his face, but he pretended to be composed. There was no need to think about whether those people also knew his circumstances, nor to show that he was embarrassed by the possibility.
“Managing Director. He’s arrived.”
While Seo Eunho was approaching, one of the men who’d finished greeting immediately made a phone call. It would have been a call to Tae Shinwoo, and the person who’d arrived would mean himself.
“He says to come in.”
At the man gesturing toward him as soon as he hung up, Seo Eunho roughly nodded and strode forward. It was a stride pretending he had nothing to be ashamed of.
Regrettably, unlike his outward appearance, his heart was not calm at all. His heartbeat gradually quickened and his vision repeatedly became blurry then clear. It was because of the impatience to immediately escape the gazes of the people here, along with the anticipation that Tae Shinwoo would be there when he opened this door, blooming together.
Since childhood, Seo Eunho had often imagined Tae Shinwoo as an adult. The same was true during the time they were apart. Seo Eunho was certain Tae Shinwoo would be working in a nice office like this. Since he was about to witness the result of that certainty, he could anticipate it just a little bit.
At least if he hadn’t made that kind of contract with Tae Shinwoo and wasn’t having sex with him.
Wouldn’t it be fair to call this a disease? The way Tae Shinwoo was treating him now. How could he anticipate seeing Tae Shinwoo working normally?
It was difficult to understand himself at all. However, Seo Eunho didn’t bother trying to understand. His sanity had been gone for a long time. Especially when it came to matters related to Tae Shinwoo, even more so.
Seo Eunho ignored his pounding heart and opened the door without even knocking. It was because he believed facing Tae Shinwoo quickly would erase pointless thoughts.
“……You’re here?”
Half right and half wrong. The idle thought of whether he understood himself or not was immediately erased. However, his heartbeat quickened even more at the sight of Tae Shinwoo sitting properly at the office desk looking at some unknown documents. Even though it wasn’t the Tae Shinwoo from his imagination, his heart moved on its own.
Stupid bastard. Idiot bastard. Foolish bastard.
No matter what words he attached, it didn’t feel satisfying. Seo Eunho bit his lower lip then inhaled deeply.
“It suits you well.”
Regardless, Tae Shinwoo was spouting nonsense. The bastard put down the documents he was holding and stood up, starting to approach. Seo Eunho couldn’t quite look at Tae Shinwoo directly and muttered while standing at an angle.
“What gangster bastard.”
When he was working just fine at a proper company. A small sigh leaked from between Seo Eunho’s lips.
“Gangster work is my main job. This is a side job.”
Tae Shinwoo very kindly gave a simple explanation. It was an explanation that wasn’t particularly necessary.
“That’s your spot.”
In the meantime, the bastard had already gotten close. When he turned his head at the quiet words with a light chin gesture, he saw a desk placed very incongruously across from Tae Shinwoo. Tae Shinwoo, who’d put his lips to the ear of Seo Eunho who didn’t even think to hide his automatically frowning face, whispered.
“Now you’ll be stuck by my side constantly.”
“……”
“That’s good. You’ll know all my schedule too. You’ll have to be in charge of managing my schedule from now on.”
Seo Eunho shook his head. He wanted to rub his ticklish ear vigorously right away but held back.
“Say something that makes sense.”
He hadn’t thought from the start that he’d be doing normal work here. Seo Eunho had just come here to stick around and fuck with Tae Shinwoo whenever he wanted. Tae Shinwoo would know that better, so why was he saying pointless things?
“Why? Can’t you do it?”
Tae Shinwoo grinned and wrapped his arms around his waist. Then he suddenly started kissing him. Seo Eunho didn’t refuse the tip of his tongue that parted his closed lips and entered. Tae Shinwoo pushed his leg between his thighs and faintly stimulated Seo Eunho’s cock. Seo Eunho jerked his body and gripped his shoulder.
“Haah……”
Tae Shinwoo, who’d been carefully exploring inside his mouth, pulled away only after a long while. A silver thread formed between their lips then broke. He wanted to turn his head immediately, but Seo Eunho resolutely looked at Tae Shinwoo. Tae Shinwoo was smiling with his eyes creased.
“You will.”
There was no proper answer. Even if he refused, it would go according to Tae Shinwoo’s will anyway. At least he’d give him work he could do. Seo Eunho quickly gave up on the thought of refusing itself. Well, if not, there was nothing he could do. Originally Seo Eunho gave up quickly. Because it was comfortable.
But what exactly did Tae Shinwoo want? Was his purpose revenge on him after all? This kind of thing wouldn’t be for his own sake. Then what was the revenge he wanted to do? For him to submit to him?
He might want him to be thoroughly manipulated like before. No, precisely, he might want to discard him by his own hand after that. Twelve years ago, it was Seo Eunho who let go of his hand first. Perhaps Tae Shinwoo found that unfair.
It was quite a plausible hypothesis. Then what Seo Eunho had to do was thoroughly keep pace with him. Just with that, Seo Eunho could escape from the detestable debt and live normally. It wasn’t a difficult thing. Being discarded and all……
“……”
Strength went into Seo Eunho’s lips. Right, it wasn’t a difficult thing. Just doing as he wanted was also easy.
But contrary to his thoughts, he didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to keep pace with him. Because he didn’t want to be discarded.
Of course, as time passed, this feeling would disappear too. Since he gave up quickly, he wouldn’t expend energy on pointless things. In the end, being toyed with by his games and then discarded was something that would happen anyway.
So all Seo Eunho could do was engrave deeply in his heart that he’d be discarded anyway and try not to let his heart be swayed too much. To be hurt a little less when he faced the ending he already knew.
But even knowing that was the best option, a fearful heart kept blooming. It was really strange. A full twelve years had passed, and both of them had changed a lot in that time. So why did the thought of being discarded still make him scared and hateful? He even felt it was unfair.
Whether then or now, it was Seo Eunho himself who was toyed with in his hands. But wasn’t being thoroughly toyed with enough—did he have to be discarded too? Couldn’t he be the one to discard the other person? Just how far was Tae Shinwoo planning to be greedy? Was he expecting him to completely break down?
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
His frustrated heart felt like it would burst. Seo Eunho looked at Tae Shinwoo then let out a short sigh. All pointless thoughts. There was nothing to feel unfair about. He kept trying to have pride when he’d received money for being toyed with. His heart, unable to find its center, was being swayed constantly.
“Because I want to.”
Seo Eunho erased all his lost thoughts. They were all unnecessary thoughts. Even if not before, now he couldn’t discard Tae Shinwoo. Nothing was more foolish than having pride over something impossible in the first place.
“Aha. Were you looking forward to it?”
Tae Shinwoo laughed as if it was absurd. He didn’t seem to believe the words he’d casually spat out. Seo Eunho moved away from Tae Shinwoo and headed to his spot that he’d mentioned. And sitting in the prepared chair, he spoke to Tae Shinwoo in a flat voice.
“As you know, I’m quite vulgar.”
Tae Shinwoo twisted the corners of his mouth and laughed emptily. He worried he might get close again right away, but fortunately Tae Shinwoo didn’t. Watching him return to his spot, Seo Eunho let out a short sigh.
Seo Eunho, who’d been staring blankly at the desk, slumped down on it. It was shameless behavior, but there was no reason to sit up straight when there was nothing to do anyway.
When he closed his eyes, his high school days when he slept every day came vividly to mind. It would be nice to return to those times. Seo Eunho, who’d smiled slightly without thinking, soon hardened his lips.
Thinking about it, it was really ridiculous. Even knowing the ending completely, wanting to return to that moment when Tae Shinwoo had swayed him entirely.
But those times were good after all. Seo Eunho wanted to just like Tae Shinwoo like before. Without knowing he’d be blindsided one day, it would be really nice if he could just flounder in that innocent first love.
