Just because he’d awakened to his feelings didn’t mean the situation changed much. As long as he didn’t convey the feelings that had bloomed, each day could be as ordinary as possible. Days that could pass ordinarily as long as he just didn’t convey his own feelings.
“Since when did you two get so close?”
“Right? These days they’re always stuck together.”
If he didn’t let on about the sense of superiority he felt at the words spoken with subtle envy by those hovering around Tae Shinwoo, if he could act indifferent, even annoyed, and pull off similar behavior to what he’d done when he hadn’t kept Tae Shinwoo in his heart—then it would be possible.
“Is that so?”
Tae Shinwoo shrugged his shoulders and answered vaguely. Seo Eunho turned his head, pretending not to care much. Whether he’d answered that they were close or that they weren’t, the actions Seo Eunho would take would be the same.
Of course, in the latter case, he’d probably feel a bit hurt.
Hurt, huh. Seo Eunho put strength into his lips. It was better not to even think words he couldn’t say out loud. If he didn’t want to make mistakes.
“I like it. Two good-looking guys sticking together shine, you know. It’s pleasing to the eyes.”
“You’re saying all kinds of nonsense so openly.”
“It’s true though. Both Shinwoo and Eunho are incredibly handsome.”
“That’s true. Actually, lately friends from other schools keep asking who that kid going around with Shinwoo is.”
“Really?”
“Me too, me too. And it’s not just one or two people. They ask if we know him since we’re at the same school. Oh, speaking of which, Eunho-ya.”
Seo Eunho, who’d been concentrating on the conversation to avoid idle thoughts, immediately answered “Yeah.” He didn’t think as far as why they were suddenly calling him.
“Are you interested in being introduced to anyone by any chance?”
That’s why the question felt even more out of the blue. It was something he’d never once thought about. Seo Eunho unconsciously glanced at Tae Shinwoo.
“Actually, there’s been a fuss asking for your number……”
The chattering voice trailed off quickly even though he hadn’t answered. He’d been about to say he had no number to give since he didn’t have a phone, but it seemed they’d realized that fact first.
Seo Eunho hesitated briefly, unable to say anything. Not because he wanted to be introduced to anyone, but because he had the strange thought that it would be better if he refused himself, worried this proposal might be passed on to Tae Shinwoo. He was doing all sorts of things.
“Seo Eunho’s time is mine.”
Fortunately, Seo Eunho’s thoughts weren’t long. Tae Shinwoo, who’d been sitting quietly, rejected the other person’s proposal on his behalf in a firm tone.
Laughter immediately burst out around them, probably thinking it was a joke. Seo Eunho also laughed lightly. Because it wasn’t a joke.
He was selling his time to Tae Shinwoo. Being here next to Tae Shinwoo with these people whose names he couldn’t even remember was all because of that.
“Where does that exist?”
“Did you even pay money? Why is Eunho’s time yours, Shinwoo?”
Since it was usually something unthinkable, everyone seemed to think it was a joke.
“It’s true, right, Seo Eunho?”
Tae Shinwoo asked, looking at Seo Eunho. Though he was smiling, it seemed like his eyes would turn cold immediately if he shook his head even as a joke. Of course, he had no intention of doing so anyway.
“That’s right.”
Their playful words were, ironically, right on the mark. Tae Shinwoo had paid money to buy his time, so his time belonged to Tae Shinwoo.
“Wow…… Surprising. I thought Eunho wouldn’t play along with this kind of talk.”
Right?, came the echoing agreement. They said Shinwoo acts particularly unusually toward Eunho, that he wasn’t the type to joke around like that…… He could hear laughter-mixed words too. Tae Shinwoo was laughing along appropriately.
Why is he acting like this? Seo Eunho suddenly became curious. Because, well, Tae Shinwoo seemed very annoyed by this conversation.
By now Seo Eunho knew quite well what kind of person Tae Shinwoo was. He wasn’t kind or nice. Attaching such words to him was absurd in itself. Rather, saying he was nasty suited him better.
Like that first moment they met, and that day he trampled over many people including Kim Junseong and Jang Hoyoung. Even recently, hadn’t he made it so a teacher couldn’t even come to school?
Even with various reasons attached, ultimately it was because they didn’t please him. If not for that, he wasn’t the type to bother with annoying things.
Was that all? Just a month ago, he’d gotten rid of a male student who’d been in the same class as him, right before his eyes. Though there was no solid evidence, Seo Eunho thought there had definitely been pressure from Tae Shinwoo.
So he was one of the people who looked at Seo Eunho unfavorably. It used to be rare, but since hanging around with Tae Shinwoo, such people had increased a bit. They openly displayed hostility and would put down Seo Eunho. That male student in particular had been exceptionally harsh.
Actually, Seo Eunho didn’t care at all. He thought they weren’t wrong. When asked if it was nice to stick next to Tae Shinwoo and get everything from one to ten, Seo Eunho said it was nice. What would be bad about it?
At Seo Eunho’s nonchalant attitude, he’d grumbled and gotten angry repeatedly, but unfortunately it was Tae Shinwoo who stopped it. It would have been good if it hadn’t caught his eye, but it happened to be seen by Tae Shinwoo.
That kid shriveled up drastically starting the very next day. He even transferred schools two days later. So even without physical evidence, he had no choice but to suspect Tae Shinwoo had pulled strings.
Those who’d witnessed the commotion nearby probably thought so too. They just couldn’t say it out loud. Seeing how they became particularly kind to him afterward, it was quite a plausible deduction.
……He was really grateful too.
Anyway, since Tae Shinwoo seemed afraid of nothing in various ways, Seo Eunho had recently developed a newfound curiosity.
Why would a guy with such a temperament deliberately play the model student and be selective about who he associates with? Is there a reason he needs to live duplicitously? He doesn’t seem to need to at all.
“Why?”
Perhaps he’d been staring too intently due to rising curiosity, because Tae Shinwoo met his eyes and tilted his head. Seo Eunho just stared blankly back at him without any reaction. He didn’t particularly care whether Tae Shinwoo found it strange or not.
Maybe his family is strict. So he has to play the model student at least at school? His family knows his personality, and in exchange for being a diligent model student at school, they might be doing everything he asks.
Then it would make sense that he’d been stuffing money into his hands. The money that came from Tae Shinwoo’s pocket as a high school student probably wasn’t his own. Same with having a house prepared for running away.
His family was condoning the games stemming from Tae Shinwoo’s rotten personality. On the condition that he maintain good grades and have good interpersonal relationships.
“What a tiring way to live.”
“Hm?”
“Nothing.”
Having come to a plausible conclusion, he somehow felt like laughing. Seo Eunho turned his head and pretended to listen to the chatter of those who’d had no connection with him. The chatter hadn’t stopped even for a moment until now when lunch period was almost over, but they weren’t stories that caught Seo Eunho’s ear.
Seo Eunho was just concentrating his attention only on Tae Shinwoo, who was keeping his gaze fixed on him as if curious about what he’d been thinking.
Isn’t he living just as tiringly? He found himself a bit ridiculous, hiding his willing heart and ignoring Tae Shinwoo while pretending to be indifferent.
***
“Your grades went up.”
As if they were one body, Seo Eunho, who’d flopped down on the bed as soon as they got home, turned his head toward Tae Shinwoo. Despite having rummaged through the bag carelessly thrown on the dining table, Tae Shinwoo had a confident face.
“Why are you rummaging through someone else’s bag?”
Even though Seo Eunho asked irritably, Tae Shinwoo just shrugged his shoulders as if it was nothing new. The reason he’d suddenly rummaged through a bag that was usually always empty was obvious. He must have opened it because he was curious about the report card that came out today.
Why Tae Shinwoo was curious about his grades. Anyone would think Tae Shinwoo had made him study or something. As a result, his grades had gone up a bit, but he’d never studied together with Tae Shinwoo. Studying was useless to Seo Eunho. What use was studying when he had no intention of going to college anyway?
The reason his grades went up was simply because he didn’t sleep. For a while he hadn’t worked at all, and having slept so well in a comfortable environment, he no longer dozed off at school.
Even though Seo Eunho knew his father had now left the house, he didn’t leave Tae Shinwoo’s place. This house was much better than his own, and he could spend more time with Tae Shinwoo, so there was no reason to return home.
Thanks to that, Seo Eunho hadn’t been sprawled out sleeping during class since last semester. Same during exams. Before, he’d been busy marking answers in a row and falling asleep quickly, but on this exam he’d read the questions and tried to solve them in his own way, so he had no choice but to improve compared to before.
Well, even so, it wasn’t that much better.
“Did you study?”
Tae Shinwoo asked in a still-confident attitude. Seo Eunho pushed away Tae Shinwoo, who was approaching while holding his report card, with his foot.
“Give it back.”
“Hm? Seems like you studied a bit.”
But Tae Shinwoo easily approached in front of him while dodging each attack. The last kick that he’d put quite a bit of strength into was stopped when Tae Shinwoo’s hand caught his ankle. Seo Eunho flinched, then belatedly clicked his tongue.
“I didn’t. Can’t you tell by looking? It’s not even different from before……, hey.”
“Yeah?”
“Did I tell you my exam scores from last semester?”
“……Didn’t you?”
Like hell. Seo Eunho openly mocked Tae Shinwoo. There was no way he’d have babbled about something like grades that he himself didn’t care about. He’d wondered why he was saying it was nothing new—it was because he’d seen his report card before.
“I was curious.”
Tae Shinwoo glanced at him slyly, then immediately smiled. His face was so unbelievably confident that Seo Eunho was rather at a loss for words.
“Want me to show you my report card if you’re upset?”
Before Tae Shinwoo’s question even finished, Seo Eunho swung his foot again. Since it wasn’t a genuine attempt to hit him, Tae Shinwoo could have easily dodged it, but this time he obediently took the hit, going “Ow,” pretending it hurt. He seemed to want to at least pretend to feel guilty.
“I’m not curious.”
“Why? Be a little curious.”
“Why should I?”
“Because I was curious about yours.”
“What kind of logic is that?”
He was really something in many ways. Seo Eunho laughed incredulously and adjusted his position to lie down. As Tae Shinwoo seemed about to lie down too and got closer, he quickly pushed him away again with his foot.
Conversing with Tae Shinwoo as usual wasn’t difficult. But he wanted to decline this kind of close proximity. Lying on the same bed was especially dangerous. His heart was already beating fast. Seo Eunho had absolutely no desire to let his feelings be discovered.
“I want to lie down.”
“Go to the sofa.”
“We used to lie down together before.”
“Don’t say it weird. It’s disgusting. I said go lie down on the sofa.”
Tae Shinwoo furrowed his eyebrows, then straightened his back. Knowing Seo Eunho absolutely wouldn’t give in, he seemed to have compromised by sitting on the bed. Seo Eunho didn’t refuse even that. It would seem strange if he did.
“You’re first place anyway.”
Worried he might dwell on his actions, Seo Eunho quickly returned the subject to its starting point. Actually, even without being curious, he knew Tae Shinwoo’s grades. News about Tae Shinwoo reached him well even when he stayed still. Grades were no exception.
“How do you know?”
“Because everyone talks about it.”
“Do you listen hard when my stories come up?”
“……I hear it even without listening hard.”
“You’re really interested in me.”
“Are you deaf? Can’t you hear me?”
His voice rose sharply at Tae Shinwoo’s nonsense. But the other person was just laughing.
He got first place again. Isn’t that really amazing?
Seo Eunho wasn’t lying. Stories about Tae Shinwoo were always loudly chattered about by someone as if demanding to be heard. He had no choice but to hear them even without deliberately listening.
He was interested in Tae Shinwoo. But he hadn’t made efforts to know his grades. Even back when he’d never talked with Tae Shinwoo, he’d known that he never missed getting first place.
“It’s because I’m in a good mood.”
“I said no, but you’re happy by yourself.”
Seo Eunho let out a small hollow laugh. It was severe that he didn’t look hateful even while interpreting the situation however he pleased.
“I said go lie down on the sofa.”
“I’m tired. I lived too hard.”
“……”
“The sofa is too narrow.”
It sounded like puppy whimpers that didn’t match his build. His heart was gradually weakening at Tae Shinwoo, who was pretending to be pitiful in all sorts of ways that didn’t suit him.
In the end, his resolve not to lie on the same bed crumbled not long after. Tae Shinwoo stubbornly occupied a corner of the bed. Since refusing adamantly when he was saying this much would seem even stranger, Seo Eunho pressed his lips shut tight and stared at the ceiling. There was nowhere proper to place his gaze.
“Want to take a nap?”
That’s when Tae Shinwoo asked. The area around his heart felt stiff. He knew there was no particular meaning to it, but his heart fluttered on its own and his heart responded loudly. Seo Eunho shook his head, trying hard to ignore the uncomfortable sensation.
“You sleep.”
“I’ve been sleeping less these days. Before, you were sleeping all the time.”
“When did I?”
“Eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. I thought you were a newborn.”
At the absurd comparison, Seo Eunho’s face crumpled all at once. On the other hand, Tae Shinwoo was laughing as if it was funny. Tae Shinwoo seemed to really enjoy Seo Eunho contorting his face. Seeing how he made a pleased face every time he got annoyed, it wasn’t a completely unreliable story.
“Just go to sleep.”
Seo Eunho grabbed a pillow and pressed it down over Tae Shinwoo’s face. It wasn’t strong force, but it was enough to shut up his blabbering mouth.
But Tae Shinwoo wasn’t just taking it either. Tae Shinwoo’s large hand grabbed Seo Eunho’s wrist and pulled at once. With his other hand, he removed the pillow he’d been trying to press down. Seo Eunho’s body shook and poured completely over Tae Shinwoo’s body. The pillow had already been flung to the floor.
Having unintentionally ended up straddling Tae Shinwoo, Seo Eunho’s face flushed bright red as if he’d been waiting for it. In the flustering situation, his whole body stiffened and didn’t listen. Seo Eunho just blinked stupidly on top of Tae Shinwoo.
“Our lips are about to touch.”
Then, Tae Shinwoo said with a laugh. Seo Eunho’s eyes widened for a moment before he belatedly raised his body. Heat rose hotly throughout his body. His face was incomparably more contorted than before, but all the skin that had touched felt hot as if burned.
At least it was fortunate that Tae Shinwoo wasn’t still holding his wrist. Seo Eunho was able to hide his face by turning his back to him.
“I’m going to wash up.”
“Suddenly?”
“Do I need to give notice to wash up?”
Seo Eunho casually deflected and headed straight to the bathroom. While it wasn’t something that needed notice, it would have been a bit sudden. But Seo Eunho was more urgently in need of hiding his face right now.
As soon as he entered the bathroom, he could see his face flushed bright red. The moment Seo Eunho locked the bathroom door, he let out a deep sigh and bent his legs to sit down. His heart was beating so fast it seemed about to come out of his throat.
“Maybe I should just kill him……”
Muttering words he didn’t mean, Seo Eunho disheveled his hair carelessly. As if it had actually happened, the moment his lips touched Tae Shinwoo’s kept replaying before his eyes.
He was really going crazy. He was really going to lose it. It was hard to come to his senses.
“Son of a bitch.”
This was all because of Tae Shinwoo.
