# Chapter 142
The closer our bodies pressed together, the more I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Watching for an opening, I took a deep breath and pulled my tongue back. But before long, I was helplessly drawn back in by his ensnaring grip.
Every time our tongues touched, all strength drained from my body. My arms fell limply as my head tilted backward. As a moan, rough with pain and excitement, escaped my lips, Moon Seoheon slipped his hand behind my neck to support it and held me steady.
“Mmph… wait a moment…”
When I struggled, shaking my head from the lack of air, our pressed lips separated slightly. In that gap, I tried to push against his chest, but he didn’t budge an inch. At times like this, I resented this weak body. No, it would be more accurate to blame Moon Seoheon for being too strong.
As the kissing resumed, he seemed to have no intention of letting me go, instead shifting the position of his hands. He grabbed my waist to change our posture, and somehow I ended up straddling Moon Seoheon.
In my dazed state, I panicked and tried to escape, but he gently stroked the roof of my mouth. Honestly, it felt too good. Was I always this susceptible to pleasure? Whether it was this body’s fault or my mental state had deteriorated, I just wanted to pass out right there.
But instead, my heightened senses made my mind even clearer. I had to try my best not to move my chest where it pressed against Moon Seoheon’s upper body.
How much time had passed? Only when my lips grew numb and no further thoughts could form did we finally separate. The breath that had been trapped burst out all at once in rough, heavy gasps.
Looking now, I realized I’d lost all sensation not just in my lips but throughout my body. Yet my clear mind couldn’t find peace. As feeling gradually returned, every cell seemed to stand on end, and my body tensed up.
My head naturally dropped forward until my forehead touched the mattress. My still-labored breathing touched Moon Seoheon’s shoulder and spread in all directions.
“……”
I absolutely couldn’t lift my head. A terrifying silence filled the hospital room. My heart was pounding loudly, making a commotion inside me.
As I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart, a strong arm wrapped around my back. In the midst of it all, being embraced in his solid, lead-like hold gave me a satisfying sense of security.
Maybe it’s because he works out. Come to think of it, it seemed funny that I felt such intimidation from someone who wasn’t even an adult yet.
“Ha……”
Perhaps that’s why, without realizing it, a rueful laugh escaped me. Moon Seoheon surely heard the laughter that leaked out several times without stopping, but he said nothing and simply tightened his arms around my upper body. It felt like all my internal organs were being squeezed.
Finally, with all my strength gone, I let my body, which I had barely been holding up, slump down. I simply closed my eyes, blankly feeling the sensation of skin against skin.
Yes, I’ve lost to you, you bastard.
Only now did I finally admit the feelings I’d been avoiding out of fear of an uncertain future. I realized that these emotions were no longer something I could control. I didn’t want to be tossed around and wander anymore…
Once I sorted out my thoughts, all that remained was a small sense of guilt. What should I do? What I planned to do next might deeply hurt him, but I couldn’t stop either. It was just frustrating.
After spending a long time in the same position, pressed against each other, the sun eventually began to set. As the reddish sunset glow fell through the window onto our bodies, I could see Moon Seoheon’s nape turning red in my glimpse.
It looked just like someone blushing red with embarrassment, which made me smile faintly. As the tension eased, what we had just done—passionately kissing—felt like a lie.
As Moon Seoheon slightly twisted his body, I heard the rustling of clothes. Although I was embraced in his arms and on top, I couldn’t see his face since my cheek was pressed against his chest. Still, I could clearly feel his gaze on me.
“…You’re going to burn a hole in my head.”
After staying silent for so long, it felt extremely awkward. In the quiet, almost lonely atmosphere, I unnecessarily spoke up, and then heard the sound of his head falling onto the mattress.
Soon the arms tightly wrapped around my upper body loosened. I could have broken free from his embrace if I had really tried, but I remained still. Perhaps sensing that my mood had changed from before, he now released his arms and just lightly rested his hands on my back.
My mind felt slightly more at ease as it seemed both Moon Seoheon and I had found some stability. I detached my tightly pressed face and raised my head to look at him, and similarly, I saw relief spread across his face.
“Are you really going to call tomorrow?”
Even without specifying the subject, I knew who he was referring to. Unable to answer immediately, I hesitated for a moment before quietly responding with a small “Yes.” His chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath. My body moved significantly with it.
As I squirmed because the position had become slightly uncomfortable, Moon Seoheon reached out, grabbed both my forearms, and raised his upper body. The momentum brought my upper body up with it, and in an instant, we were sitting face to face.
I bent my knees and stretched my legs forward to sit properly. Moon Seoheon, mindful of my injured leg, helped me sit comfortably. But then he pulled me onto his thighs, and I nearly screamed.
Of course, after lying embraced on the flat mattress and then sitting up to face each other, this position might have naturally occurred, but whenever he did such things so casually, I felt dizzy.
Please use your turn signals before entering! Will it get worse when you grow up? Your flirting comes so automatically, you.
As I mentally complained to gather my wits from the bewilderment, he wrapped his arm around my waist as if afraid I might fall backward. That must be why he’s holding me, right? It must be. I stopped unnecessarily overthinking and looked at Moon Seoheon.
That’s when I noticed the table behind him. More specifically, the note wedged between storage boxes on top caught my attention. Seeing the note still untouched, I unconsciously let out a sigh.
I should throw that away and rewrite it, right? The short text in the note was essentially a threatening letter disguised as a request to Yoon Taeho. Overwhelmed with anxiety, I had written something like “I’m telling you this for your own good, so stop causing trouble.” It wasn’t a wise action.
As I laughed self-deprecatingly, realizing how pathetic it was, Moon Seoheon noticed that my gaze was directed somewhere and was about to turn his head. Feeling my heart sink, I reached out and cupped both his cheeks, fixing his face toward me so he couldn’t move.
At my sudden action, Moon Seoheon raised his eyebrows slightly before adopting a calm expression. But judging from his dilated pupils, he seemed somewhat surprised. After the momentary shock passed, I swallowed dryly, feeling I needed to offer some explanation for my behavior.
“Um……”
What should I say? What were we just talking about? My mind wasn’t working well, as if my memories had suddenly evaporated.
At that moment, looking across at the sky outside the window, I noticed it had already darkened ominously. A rainbow curved through the gaps between dark clouds, mixed with streaks of yellow sunlight. It was a spectacular sight that anyone would appreciate, so I pointed to the window with my chin.
“Hey, hey. Look over there. There’s a rainbow.”
“……”
Although I’d released his cheeks, Moon Seoheon stared blankly at me despite my words, then briefly glanced in that direction. He seemed to be humoring my obviously exaggerated attempt to divert attention. This quickly made me feel embarrassed, but I tried to act natural.
“The rainbow is huge. I wonder if it’s going to rain later? Do you have an umbrella?”
Pretending to be calm, I asked the question, and Moon Seoheon shook his head. Did I have an umbrella in the hospital room? It would soon be nighttime, so I’d have to send him away anyway, but I was worried what would happen if it started pouring in the meantime.
I looked around unnecessarily, as if searching for places where an umbrella might be. The way he sat quietly, staring at me intently, was very disconcerting.
It felt suffocating how he didn’t properly look at the rainbow scene, as if nothing else entered his vision, focusing solely on me.
It hadn’t been that long since Moon Seoheon had burst into the hospital room and we had faced each other. With emotions jumping all over the place in such a short time, I wasn’t sure if this should be considered a good sign.
Feeling that the atmosphere would only get stranger the more I spoke, I just kept my mouth shut. Seeing my subdued attitude, Moon Seoheon released me and moved away from the bed. Then he said what I should have said.
“I’ll come again tomorrow. I said we would just talk, but I’m still worried.”
Is that what Yoo Wono told you? After rushing as if he had something important to say, I felt deflated by this nutritionless content. Still, my expression hardened at Moon Seoheon’s words about coming back.
Despite my expression, Moon Seoheon turned his back as if he had said all he needed to and left the hospital room.
“Ah, is there anything you want to eat?”
“Huh? Uh… tteokbokki?”
I blurted out the first thing that came to mind at his sudden question before he closed the door. Moon Seoheon nodded as if to say he understood and closed the door, making a heavy sound. Unlike his previous aggressive behavior, his clean exit left only me feeling unsettled inside.
Left alone in the hospital room, I fingered the spot where our lips had touched. At the sudden heat rising to my face, I flopped down on the bed.
Wow, I really kissed him!
Something tingled in my tightly shut eyes. Trying to think of something else, I turned my body to look out the window. The thought that I should deal with the note in the drawer briefly crossed my mind, but I decided to do it later.
