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SELF-DESTRUCTIVE LOVE v1c13

Along with body scent so faint it was hard to perceive, the smell of disinfectant, a woody scent, and a somewhat murky dark cherry scent were blended together. On top of that, the scent of paper books from old bookshelves was gently placed, seeming to complete this space and the human called Yuri.

The feeling was strange. Even without seeing with his eyes, the feeling that he could find Yuri anytime with just this scent.

“The scent…”

Chris unconsciously moved his lips. Yuri turned his head. Purple eyes covered by a layer of glasses were looking directly at him.

“Is it very strong?”

Strong? Chris slightly frowned.

The dark cherry could feel a bit strong, but Chris didn’t feel it was particularly excessive.

“I smoked a cigar not long ago, so the scent must have remained.”

He seemed to understand why the cherry scent felt murky. It was because a smoky lingering scent covered over it like an aftertaste.

“Do you smoke cigars?”

“Yes.”

It was a rare hobby. Chris had seen a few colleagues who smoked cigarettes, but he had never seen anyone who enjoyed cigars.

He vaguely recalled hearing that all cigars in the current era were handmade and, due to limited quantities, were only available through custom orders. In this barren November Continent compared to other places, it felt even more luxurious to enjoy such things.

However, the fact that Yuri, an ordinary citizen, enjoyed cigars was as jarring as this shabby antiquarian bookshop standing on this street.

‘I must be being sensitive.’

Looking at this bookshop filled with paper books, it wasn’t difficult to guess that Yuri was quite wealthy. Moreover, seeing that Yuri had equipped the place with a phonograph, books, and antique furniture, he clearly preferred things from the old era.

It wouldn’t be unusual for someone who ran an unprofitable antiquarian bookshop to also have the hobby of smoking cigars.

“You have very old-fashioned tastes.”

Yuri chuckled at Chris’s words. The sharp expression that occasionally flickered across his composed face made Chris’s chest feel cold.

“I’m glad you’re not displeased. I almost lost a regular customer.”

Chris didn’t dislike the pleasantry from a man who seemed to have no interest in the bookshop’s income.

“This is only my third visit—am I already a regular?”

“Chris-ssi is the first customer to visit more than twice.”

His heart strangely swelled at just those words.

“Are you looking for a book today?”

At Yuri’s question, Chris shook his head.

“Not yet, I’m still reading the book I bought before.”

“I was curious if there was something specific you were looking for, since you come so often. If there’s a work you want, please tell me. I’ll look for it.”

Oddly enough, it felt like he was saying to leave if there was no business.

Thinking of Yuri, who despite being taciturn had been kind enough to help him pick out several books and tell him the location of a furniture store, this must surely be his own misunderstanding.

“I find myself visiting often because I like the atmosphere of the bookshop.”

Chris answered politely.

It was far from the truth, but that was the best he could do. How could he explain that, unlike his usual self, he kept circling around Yuri?

Even Chris himself didn’t know the reason and could only flounder.

An unwavering gaze turned toward Chris. Yuri’s purple eyes felt transparently pale. Perhaps that’s why he had the illusion that he could discern what dwelled within them.

The clearer the water, the harder it is to gauge its depth.

“Take this.”

After a few seconds that felt like minutes, Yuri released Chris from his gaze, pulled a book from the shelf, and placed it in Chris’s arms.

<Dracula>

“Pardon?”

Chris was flustered at suddenly receiving a paper book as a gift—one of those that had cost three thousand credits for five volumes. By simple calculation, it would be about six hundred credits per book.

“I can’t accept something this expensive.”

“Let’s call it a gift for a customer who indulges my old-fashioned hobby.”

Yuri’s words carried a magic that made it hard to refuse. Though Chris hesitated, he had no choice but to accept and put it away.

“I’ll… read it well.”

At least if he wanted to come back to this bookshop, it seemed he’d have to finish reading all the books he’d bought now. Only then could he pretend to hide the fact that he came here because he wanted to see Yuri.

“Then, I’ll see you next time.”

Before he knew it, Chris was being seen off by Yuri and pushed out of the bookshop. It was no different from an eviction order, yet it didn’t feel that way. As if he’d been bewitched by something.

What roused him from his daze was the white breath flowing from his mouth. Though he didn’t particularly feel the cold, watching his breath appear made him realize he’d left the warm interior.

Chris stroked the slightly worn hardcover of the book, confirmed through the window that Yuri had disappeared back among the bookshelves, then turned and headed toward his temporary lodgings.

Though he held in his hands nothing to eat or drink, just a single book, his steps couldn’t have been lighter.

***

The next day, Chris fully underwent Beast Transformation, taking the form of a wolf as he circled around the abandoned factory district. To look like a stray dog to others, he rolled in the dirt to dull his silver fur.

There were two doors that allowed entry inside. One for vehicles and one for people.

The vehicle entrance had armed guards. They waited in the guardhouse and conducted inspections when vehicles came and went.

One of them noticed Chris’s presence and moved his hand. At first, Chris thought he might draw his gun and shoot, so he slowly backed away.

However, the guard took out a sandwich, pulled out the ham from between the bread, and tossed it in front of Chris.

“You look pretty big. At least eat that.”

Though it’s seasoned, it’s better than starving—at the words casually tossed out, Chris approached the ham and sniffed at it.

“Wait? It’s bigger than I thought? Is it really a dog?”

The colleague of the guard who’d thrown the ham looked at Chris and muttered. Understandably so, as it appeared that if Chris stood up, he would be close to two meters tall.

“Around here, wolf-dog hybrids wander around pretty often.”

“Hmm. In the March Continent, I’ve never seen a stray dog that size, so it feels threatening.”

Chris ate the ham to act like a stray dog, as they were mistaking him for one.

From what he heard, one of them seemed to be from another continent. The March Continent wouldn’t be too bad a place to live—how did he end up drifting all the way to the November Continent?

“During my great-great-grandfather’s time, dogs like that pulled sleds and lived alongside humans. So these wolf-dogs you occasionally see in the November Continent are very gentle. When you give them food like this, they even come close to humans…”

“Sleds. That can’t be faster than cars. Really strange things happened in the old era.”

The woman from the March Continent shook her head.

“You can’t drive a car on ice.”

Though curtly rebuking his colleague, the guard couldn’t take his eyes off Chris transformed into a wolf. The ham was almost gone by now.

“I guess there weren’t many decent recruits this quarter? The number of cars coming in has really decreased.”

“The Reeducation Center has been around for a while now. The people who were going to come in have all come in.”

Reeducation Center!

Chris had to struggle not to perk up his ears.

“Then shouldn’t we stop doing charity work and such soon? I don’t know what the boss is thinking.”

At the woman’s flippant tone, the man who’d thrown Chris the ham clicked his tongue.

“What would we do by knowing the boss’s intentions? We just carry them out faithfully.”

“You natives of the November Continent are too loyal.”

“…You don’t understand.”

A gloomy look appeared in the man’s eyes.

“How much we who were abandoned by the center were starving, what it felt like to die while still alive—when we knew that, this person appeared and turned everything around. It may seem like just charity work to you, but they’re plotting something beyond what we can imagine. And it will surely be beneficial to the November Continent and everyone.”

The man sighed deeply and added.

“Just like how they take in people with nowhere to go, like you or me, through the Reeducation Center.”

Chris swallowed the last piece of ham and stood up. It seemed he’d heard all the useful information.

If he couldn’t break in, he’d have to infiltrate.

SELF-DESTRUCTIVE LOVE

SELF-DESTRUCTIVE LOVE

Status: Ongoing Released: 2 Free Chapter Every Thursday
Due to tectonic shifts, the world was divided into twelve continents, each named after the months from January to December. Among them was the November Continent, under the control of the infamous mafia boss Yuri Sobolev. There lived an S-rank Esper, Chris Danil. And the public called Chris Danil 'Yuri's hunting dog.' ------------------------------------- The moment their eyes met again, his chest heaved violently. Not from fear, but from some unknown emotion. In truth, he had been overwhelmed by all sorts of feelings from the start, making it difficult for him to even gauge what he was thinking. "You don't seem to remember, but we owe each other a debt." It was a gentle explanation, considering how ambiguous everything was. "You'd better give up any thoughts of running away. I'm the type who chases debts to the very end to collect them." Looking into those darkly sunken violet eyes, Chris suddenly realized. This sensation that remained as pure joy for him had been merely a terrible ordeal for the other.

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