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SELF-DESTRUCTIVE LOVE v1c6

“I’ll take them all.”

“Three thousand credits.”

Paper books were luxury items. Especially if they were produced before the great upheaval and had been preserved until now, they were even more expensive.

So the price that flowed from Yuri Magnolia’s lips was enough to make an ordinary person gasp the moment they heard it. Fortunately, Chris, an Esper, had the ability to afford this level of expenditure. It was fortunate that he’d saved up the salary and bonuses Northern Light paid monthly since he had nowhere else to spend them.

Chris lightly lifted the five books with one hand. When he leaned his body slightly, Yuri’s brow narrowed slightly upon discovering the liquor in the brown paper bag he was holding in his arms.

Chris, who had been paying attention to the other’s every move, keenly noticed this.

His impression certainly didn’t seem like he would like drunk people.

He was someone who seemed sculpted by neatly stacking things like tidiness and cleanliness.

“Take care.”

Chris vowed that he would never show a disgraceful drunken appearance in front of Yuri or near this store. Having finished paying for the books and with no more excuse to linger, he reluctantly left the antiquarian bookshop Magnolia.

The crystalline chime sound followed him out. The moment the glass door closed, the subtle jazz melody was cut off abruptly.

Like magic had ended.

Almost simultaneously, cold air touched his cheeks. Chris realized how long he’d been spellbound inside there. Trying not to look back, he moved his steps along the street where dusk was creeping in. Before he knew it, night was approaching.

Despite the unexpected expenditure, Chris’s heart was light.

Returning to the apartment and coming out of the bathroom after washing, Chris’s eyes caught the pile of books placed on the dining table. While just drying his hair and looking at those titles, Chris stopped.

Because when reading only the very first letters of the books in order, one word formed.

I-D-I-O-T

Idiot?

Though thinking it must be a coincidence, Chris’s mood became strange.

Finally checking tomorrow’s schedule on his terminal, Chris lay on the bed with the intention of sleeping, and his feet almost exceeded the mattress. Even bringing his head as close to the headboard as possible, it was the same. It seemed he’d have to find a chair or something with the right height.

He’d brought a dining chair, but it was excessively high. As he pondered while returning it to its original place, Chris’s eyes caught the five books again.

Though just eyeballing it, looking at the height, they seemed to roughly match the bed. Bringing them into the room, Chris stacked the books at the bottom.

The height fit perfectly, as if bought for this purpose.

Chris, who at first thought “Is this okay?”, gradually climbed back onto the bed as drowsiness overtook him. When he placed his feet up, though the surface area was narrow, it was quite stable.

Tossing slightly and adjusting his position, Chris suddenly thought of Yuri.

‘A three thousand credit footstool—quite the luxury.’

Yuri, the owner of Magnolia Antiquarian Bookshop, would never have known his books would be used this way. Thinking about what kind of mocking expression he’d have if he saw this, Chris tried to close his eyes.

***

“Get up.”

At the impact applied to his cheek, Chris raised his head somewhat hazily. Though he should be lying in bed, where he was located was an empty lot. No, looking at how all sides were blocked, it seemed more like an abandoned warehouse.

No matter how much he looked around, it was an unfamiliar place, yet an unexpected person stood before Chris.

Yuri Magnolia.

As an unexpected character appeared in an unexpected place, Chris let out a hollow laugh. He clearly thought it was a dream, but strangely he couldn’t resist. As he froze, not knowing what to do with his head deeply bowed, Yuri approached with a stride.

The long, long shadow cast over him felt strangely threatening.

“So, you let that woman escape?”

That woman?

Chris could only flinch without giving any answer. Yuri silently grabbed the chin of Chris, who had been keeping his head down, and lifted his face.

Though he’d thought bare skin would touch, he was wearing gloves like at the bookstore. However, the gloves he wore this time were made of leather.

The grip of that hand slowly pressing his cheek was no ordinary thing. A faint moan flowed from Chris’s mouth.

Though it was clearly strong force, it wasn’t to the degree that Chris, a physical enhancement type Esper, couldn’t escape. Yet incomprehensibly, his limbs hung powerlessly, forgetting to resist.

“Chris, Chris. I never thought you’d fail to accomplish such an easy task.”

The man’s breath was close. Chris bit his lips.

“I’m, sor…”

Though he tried to apologize with his chin caught, what returned was pain felt in his stomach. Chris confirmed his own face reflected in Yuri’s eyes. He saw his two eyes, seized by shock, widen for a moment.

Sliding down to the floor, Chris coughed roughly. It hurt too much for words to come out. Desperately trying to catch his breath, thinking he couldn’t show such an ugly sight anymore, Yuri, who approached again with a stride, kicked him.

It was the same location where the fist had landed, too skillful to be coincidence. Chris, who rolled on the floor, tried to get up urgently at the sound of Yuri’s approaching footsteps.

“You let her slip away. Didn’t you?”

“I…”

Chris raised his head. Though he tried to be as dignified as possible, his lips froze at the cool violet eyes looking down at him. Even though he’d repeatedly heard he had a bold attitude unbefitting a rookie when deployed in his first actual combat mission, in front of Yuri he felt endlessly small.

It was hard to explain why. Perhaps because it was part of a nightmare? Yuri’s presence was vivid and his gaze was only sharp. Like a blizzard coming through broken window glass.

“Tell me, Chris. Did your heart soften because that woman was an old lady? Did you close your eyes and suddenly think you were human?”

Yuri asked in a gentle tone. But the tip of his shoe was lifting the chin of Chris prostrate on the floor.

“I’ve closed Districts 11 to 13. You’d better find that old woman by tomorrow. Or I’ll step in myself.”

At those words, his heart sank.

“I’ll, find her.”

Stuttering unknowingly, Chris clung to Yuri’s leg. As if trash had stuck to him, Yuri kicked him off. Afraid even a thread of a moan might leak out, he kept his mouth tightly shut, but in the process he seemed to have accidentally bitten his tongue a bit, as he tasted blood.

But that wasn’t important. Chris’s reason, which had thought this place was a dream, crumbled for a moment and even the boundary with reality became blurred. Chris crawled on his knees and kissed Yuri’s shoe.

Even at that display of absolute submission, completely prostrate with his forehead to the ground, Yuri’s terrifyingly hardened expression showed no sign of softening. The eyes of Chris, who knelt and raised his head, were faintly wet.

Inside the dim warehouse, a single beam of light flowing through the gap of a slightly open rusty iron door was the only illumination. The man with blood at his mouth and wet cheeks looked pitiful despite his robust build. Like a large dog that knew nothing but its master.

Especially eyes that were pale blue like the Arctic Ocean, too inhuman, made Chris look even more like a beast.

“Hmm…”

Yuri bent down and cupped Chris’s cheek. Rather than wiping tears, it was closer to observing something interesting. If what was contained in those violet eyes holding such inorganic, colorless emotion could be packaged as ‘interest.’

Chris unknowingly overlapped his hand on the back of that hand. The hand that grabbed Yuri as if grasping a lifeline in desperation pulled down Yuri’s glove a bit.

Thud—

Yuri brushed off that touch like dust. Rendering his desperate clinging meaningless, Chris plopped down to the floor.

Along with Yuri’s glove.

The hand revealed white was paler than his white face, as if it hadn’t seen light in a long time.

It was a hand so beautiful it was hard to understand why he deliberately hid it. The graceful, long fingers like a pianist’s made him feel the impulse to put each one in his mouth and lick it.

At the feeling of his lower abdomen growing heavy, Chris tightly gripped the glove he’d seized. He could instinctively realize he’d made a mistake.

A bloodless smile settled on Yuri’s face.

“Have you lost your mind?”

Chris gritted his teeth. Yuri took off the glove he was wearing on his other hand and dropped it on Chris.

“Put it in your mouth.”

His body performed the command before recognizing it. Chris put the leather glove in his mouth. Though ambiguous to call it a gag since he’d put it on himself, it was large enough to faithfully fulfill its role. Yuri seemed to have unexpectedly large hands contrary to his delicate-looking appearance.

“You did rest for quite a while.”

“…”

What rested for a long time?

As if answering that question, Yuri, who bent down, brought his hand to Chris’s cheek. Chris, who had unconsciously retreated, realized that an intangible force was binding his body. Having experienced something like telekinesis before, he immediately realized this was a power on a different track from that.

“Why are you refusing when you wanted this?”

He was feeling psychological resistance to getting away from Yuri. That’s why he couldn’t move.

SELF-DESTRUCTIVE LOVE

SELF-DESTRUCTIVE LOVE

Status: Ongoing Released: 2 Free Chapter Every Thursday
Due to tectonic shifts, the world was divided into twelve continents, each named after the months from January to December. Among them was the November Continent, under the control of the infamous mafia boss Yuri Sobolev. There lived an S-rank Esper, Chris Danil. And the public called Chris Danil 'Yuri's hunting dog.' ------------------------------------- The moment their eyes met again, his chest heaved violently. Not from fear, but from some unknown emotion. In truth, he had been overwhelmed by all sorts of feelings from the start, making it difficult for him to even gauge what he was thinking. "You don't seem to remember, but we owe each other a debt." It was a gentle explanation, considering how ambiguous everything was. "You'd better give up any thoughts of running away. I'm the type who chases debts to the very end to collect them." Looking into those darkly sunken violet eyes, Chris suddenly realized. This sensation that remained as pure joy for him had been merely a terrible ordeal for the other.

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