“If, if you’re glad to see someone, you can hug them!”
Whatever, I don’t care. The one who’s louder wins. I shouted angrily. Joel frowned as if his ears hurt.
“I’m not glad at all, so get down! You’re fucking heavy!”
“Ah.”
I was still clinging on. Only then did I hurriedly get down from Joel’s body. Joel seemed annoyed, raising his eyebrows and looking me up and down. Then he roughly pushed my shoulder and went down the stairs first.
“Fuck off. I’m going home.”
“Joel!”
“Fuck…… Don’t call my name.”
Joel, who had been walking with his hands shoved in his pockets, suddenly stopped and turned around to glare at me. That gaze was quite fierce. He looked tired and weary, perhaps having suffered quite a bit during those 48 hours, making him look even more menacing.
I clenched my fists and walked with wide strides, going down one step. Since I was three steps higher than Joel, unlike usual, I had to look down at him.
“No. I’m going to call it.”
“I told you not to call it.”
“I’m going to call it! ……Back then, I told you not to go. Why, why did you go?”
“What, even if I said I wouldn’t go after listening to you, what could you do? Run away? And get shot at school?”
“…….”
Why did you go—even to me, it was a stupid question. It was worthy of Joel’s mockery. Joel was an unarmed eighteen-year-old young teenager, and the others were two armed police officers. If Joel had fled, it would have led to even worse results.
Still, I resented Joel a little for shaking off my hand and getting arrested like that. I went down one more step. Joel was standing just two steps below. I swung my backpack around to the front, rummaged inside, and held something out.
“Eat.”
“…….”
Joel alternately looked at what I was holding and at me as if asking what it was. His gaze was full of dissatisfaction and irritation. I was afraid I’d get hit at this rate. Still, I suppressed my fear and went down one more step to put it in Joel’s hand.
“Eat it! In Korea, when you come back from jail, you eat this. I chose this one so it’d be easy for you to eat.”
It was tofu. It would have been nice to bring square-cut tofu like in Korean movies or dramas, but it seemed like something even I, a Korean person, would have difficulty eating wouldn’t be easy for Joel to eat. So I brought small silken tofu that you eat with a spoon. I placed the silken tofu on Joel’s palm and tore open the disposable spoon wrapper with my teeth to hand it to him.
“Eat. It’s not something weird. It’s tofu.”
“Why the fuck would I eat this?”
“Eat it. If you eat it, they said you’ll never have to come back.”
I tried to forcibly put the spoon in Joel’s hand. But Joel’s tightly clenched fist wouldn’t open at all. Joel ground his teeth and said.
“Let go.”
“Eat it.”
“I said let go!”
“Ugh!”
Smack! Pushed back by Joel’s widely swung arm, I had no choice but to plop down on the stairs. My butt and back hurt. And the dropped silken tofu went thud, thud, thud…… rolling down the stairs and ended up sprawled miserably on the very last step. Crushed and covered in dust, it looked just like vomit.
“…….”
“…….”
“See, I told you to let go!”
“……I’m sorry.”
I guess I made Joel angry again. It was from a really pure heart, but it was because I’d been too anxious all this time. I felt like I was going to cry like an idiot. I was so pathetic. But I didn’t want to make Joel even angrier by crying. And what did I do right to be crying? I shut my mouth tight and rummaged through my bag again, taking something out to hold it out.
“Then…… at least eat this. You couldn’t have eaten at the police station.”
“…….”
Since I was still sitting on the stairs, Joel’s face was higher up than usual. He happened to have his back to the sun, so I couldn’t see his face well and the light was dazzling. Even though my eyes trembled, my hand held steadily the strawberry-flavored Twizzlers that Joel ate every day.
“Here, eat. I won’t nag even if you eat ten at once.”
“……Ha.”
Is this unpleasant too? Joel buried his face in his palm and sighed. His shoulders flinched and trembled, then I blinked at Joel’s suddenly dropped question.
“Why are you doing this?”
“What?”
“All this bullshit right now, what is all this? Why are you doing this to me? Why, isn’t that bastard Dave playing with you? I don’t have money or connections like that bastard, so do I look easy to toy with?”
“……I don’t know why you’re bringing up Dave, but you’re not easy! Even now, you’re really scary! You go around frowning so fiercely, how are you easy! And I’ve never toyed with you! You’re scary, how could I toy with you!”
I don’t know what expression Joel is making. I wanted to know, so I slowly got up from my seat. Ah, then I could properly see Joel’s furrowed brow. I clenched my fists.
“You, you got a wedding invitation from Dave. So you know, but my hyung and Winter are getting married. On the day I was supposed to date you, there was a family dinner during the day. Going to Dave’s party…… I’m sorry. I can’t tell you, but there was a really important reason. Really! Really! But I regret it. It was rude to you.”
The space between Joel’s eyebrows wouldn’t flatten at all. Still, I gulped and shouted.
“……I was worried. I was worried! You, you! You’re alone, you’re still young, you’re the same age as me, and, and……! Actually, you’re still at an age where you need a guardian! But there’s no one! So, that’s why…… being alone is lonely, and also scary…… You must have been scared too…… Being scared…… everyone hates it. Even if it’s you.”
I bit my lower lip hard. Should I not have mentioned that there’s no one? Was that a mistake? But it can’t be helped. I already let it out.
“Come to the homecoming party with me. I have two tickets. It’s the last party since we’re graduating seniors. And it’s my first party. Let’s go together. I know it’s funny, but we’ll take pictures in the photo booth and dance weird dances. Then I’ll laugh at you plenty.”
“…….”
Even until I came here, I still hadn’t decided whether to go to the party or not. But after seeing Joel, I wanted to go to the party. I wanted to see Joel playing like an eighteen-year-old teenager, not in this unsuitable place. Acting all serious and fierce all the time when he’s still a minor.
“Let’s play! Like an eighteen-year-old! Like a high school student!”
I squeezed my eyes shut and shouted with my head bowed. My body started trembling. It was because I was nervous. I didn’t even tremble this much when I asked him out on a date, so it was strange.
I don’t know what answer Joel will give. Will he get angry? I’d rather he laugh at me. That would mean his anger has subsided somewhat. But when no answer came back, I gently lifted my head and opened my eyes. Then what I saw was,
NEW!
‘Joel Gomez’s’ favorability has increased by 10!
For some reason, Joel’s face was red. As soon as our eyes met, Joel flinched in surprise and turned his head to the side. Then he moved his lips and gulped.
“……Go.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s go…… home! I haven’t showered for two days so I smell! How can I go to a party like this? And I’m starving to death so hand it over!”
Snatch! Only then did Joel roughly snatch away the Twizzlers I was holding, and roughly tore off the wrapper with his teeth. Then he grabbed three and put them in his mouth and started chewing.
“Three at once……! Mmph!”
“You said you wouldn’t nag.”
I was about to habitually tell him to eat them one at a time, but Joel’s hand stuffing jelly into my mouth blocked my mouth. I don’t like the taste of this! When I frowned, Joel stuffed the jelly that had been in my mouth straight into his own mouth. It had my spit on it, isn’t that gross? Does he like that jelly that much?
“Did you dress up like that to go to the party?”
“Like that! Mom and Winter said it was wonderful!”
“Everyone’s eyes are crooked.”
“Geez……”
Joel shaking his head was so annoying. Why did I buy jelly and tofu and come here to give to this bastard? Ah, I need to clean up the tofu before I go.
Having come down to the very last step, I tried to carefully put the tofu that had fallen in the dust into a plastic bag. But Joel, who squatted down across from me, picked up the silken tofu without hesitation. I spread open the plastic bag for him to put it in here, but Joel put the tofu, which was soft and only partially fallen off, straight into his mouth.
“Hey! Spit it out!”
“I ate it.”
“What?”
“I said I ate it. So I won’t come back to this shitty place again.”
“…….”
Joel looked at me quite seriously. Did he suffer terribly at the police station? Even so, you eat something that fell?
“Don’t eat it again! That’s enough!”
Afraid he’d eat the dirtily fallen tofu again, I quickly put the tofu in the plastic bag and tied it tightly. Joel dusted off his knees with an unbothered expression, stood up, and chewed on jelly again.
“Follow me, idiot.”
I followed Joel to the parking lot and got into the passenger seat of his car.
“Who moved your car?”
“Some annoying idiot.”
Joel, who roughly swept his hair back with his hand, immediately started the engine. Vroooom! With the fierce engine sound, the car roughly started and my body swayed back and forth. Even though I almost banged my head against the window, I let out laughter like a crazy person, pfft, pffhh!
“Idiot.”
Joel glanced at me, then let out a small laugh and shook his head. Having just escaped from the damn police station, we headed to Joel’s trailer. And while Joel showered, I rummaged through his closet to find the most decent clothes. Because we had to go to the party to commemorate getting released from the police station.
