I cautiously entered the used bookstore. The light from artificial lighting illuminating the dim space with all the windows blocked and the book dust were the first to greet me. Because I had ridden my bicycle too urgently, I naturally suppressed the sound by blocking my gasping mouth as much as possible. And as I swallowed and looked around carefully, there was actually no one at the counter.
“…Did they go to the bathroom or something?”
I quickly hid my body between the bookshelves and acted like an ordinary customer looking for books. Even after standing there for several minutes, no one filled the counter. Are they somewhere else?
I stealthily went deep inside the store. It was because I thought Joel might be organizing books somewhere. But I stupidly forgot why this place was a date spot.
“Ngh!”
I was startled for a moment by that short breath. So there was another customer besides me. Like me from before, they must be struggling rolling around in a dust pit without even a mask…
“Heuk!”
“You have to shh.”
“But your ski-irt…!”
But the giggling laughter and wheedling voice were quite unusual. I didn’t really want to see it, but strangely my feet were moving forward on their own. And I was able to discover two men and women clinging to each other in the corner with disheveled outfits.
“…”
“…”
The woman whose eyes met mine first closed her mouth and lost her words. I was the same. Right. This was a date spot in a bad sense… The man didn’t seem to notice I had come and was rubbing his lover’s thigh roughly. The man finally stopped only after getting slapped on the back of his hand by the woman.
“Uh, wh-what! Are you looking for something?”
I am looking for something though… Only then did I notice the apron draped over the man’s body. The logo ‘Bluedale Old Books’ was stamped on it. He seemed to be an employee. I didn’t know who the owner of this used bookstore was, but I felt quite sorry for them. The one employee they had was a delinquent who just read books all the time he was working, and the other one during work hours…
“Customer?”
“Ah.”
I was looking the man up and down without realizing it, then belatedly realized my mistake and smiled awkwardly.
“Um, does Joel, Joel Gomez work here by any chance? I saw him here before.”
“Ah, Joel… He quit…”
The employee shook his head while fiddling with his clothes. He quit in the meantime? Why? Since he lives alone, there must be a lot of things he needs money for in various ways, and he’s the only one to earn money, so he threw away this good job? It was strange. Did he know I would come by any chance? But this was being too self-conscious. What am I that Joel would quit his job? Besides, even if not here, I already knew Joel’s house.
“Then, please continue having a good time…”
After bowing in greeting, I left the store. I came all the way here but didn’t run into Joel. Then should I really go to his house? But what if he’s not there either? What do I say when I actually run into him? What if he gets angry that I came to his house? I don’t even have anything proper to say…
“…”
I got on my bicycle limply, held the handlebars with my head down and just stood there for a while, then only after a long time did I pedal. I thought I should go home. But my body was unknowingly riding the bicycle in a different direction.
It was a dirty neighborhood with trash and dust rolling around on the streets. It was the trailer village where Joel lived. I parked my bicycle as far away as possible, lifted my head up and looked for Joel.
Joel’s trailer had laundry hanging out like when I came before, and a sunshade was spread out. But curtains were drawn so I couldn’t see beyond the window.
“Is he not here…”
I finally sighed while earnestly peering with my eyes narrowed. Seeing that there was no sign of anything, he didn’t seem to be home. Then maybe he’s nearby…
“…”
As I looked around, I ended up making eye contact with a man standing by a trailer window. Only after feeling déjà vu did I realize. When I came to Joel’s house before, I made eye contact with that man too.
Thinking it was a coincidence, I quickly looked away and looked around the vicinity again, then once again made eye contact exactly with that man. This time I had no choice but to be surprised. Because the man had somehow come outside the trailer and was blatantly looking at me with his arms crossed.
“Heu, heu…”
The man with red around his eyes and sunken cheeks started walking toward me step by step while letting out a strange laugh. Slightly scared, I stiffened my shoulders with a flinch, then soon came to my senses.
The man was shorter than me, and his limbs were extremely thin. Even if he pounced, I could win easily enough. Moreover, I didn’t have time to pay attention to that man. I needed to hurry and find Joel… I quickly held my breath at the foul smell that suddenly brushed past my nose.
“You, you’re the one who came before, right? Doing this kind of thing with that Mexican bitch’s son who used to live over there.”
The man who had approached close by said while giggling. The foul smell originated from him. The man made a gesture of poking the ring made with his index finger and thumb with his opposite index finger, and I felt vulgar contempt from those words and actions. That ‘Mexican bitch’ probably referred to Joel’s mom.
Puffing and deflating one cheek while poke, poke, poke! poking into the ring made with his fingers—I wasn’t stupid enough not to know what that action meant either. But because I was in a hurry, I ended up opening my mouth toward the man.
“Do you know where that son went?”
“How should I know where that Mexican mongrel bastard is. Anyway, won’t you play with me? Mister’s good at that kind of thing too, huh? I haven’t died from doing that anywhere.”
This time the man made a gesture of moving his waist back and forth. Very ugly and unsightly. I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have mixed words with a person who says things like ‘bitch’ or ‘mongrel’ about people.
I ignored the man and looked around again, then finally came to the conclusion that Joel wasn’t there and got on my bicycle. And as I was about to pedal, my wrist was grabbed by fingers as thin as bones.
“Ah!”
It didn’t really hurt that much, but I shouted loudly on purpose. So that the attention of the surroundings would turn here. Just then, a plump white lady who had been hanging laundry looked this way with a frowning face.
“If that’s not your preference, huh? We can have fun playing in other ways too.”
It didn’t seem like it would be that fun, and even if it actually was fun, I declined spending time with that man. When I strongly shook off his touch, the man staggered and plop! rolled to the ground.
“Argh!”
But whether he fell wrong, blood started flowing profusely from the nose of the man who screamed very loudly. The man trembled his hands and yelled “You, you!” at me while screaming wildly.
Before the man got up, I quickly stepped hard on the bicycle pedal. Normally I would have helped a person who fell, but I was afraid that man would follow me. No matter how much I acted tough, I was afraid of the strange smell from that body, the bloodshot eyes, and the drool flowing from his mouth. Because like Joel said, I was just a ‘bourgeois young master.’
I shouldn’t have come to this neighborhood. As Joel warned, this neighborhood was neither generous nor familiar to me. But when I was at his house with Joel, I felt a strange comfort. Because of that, I was mistaken. This wasn’t my territory.
Only after pedaling like crazy could I finally escape that neighborhood and head toward my house. When well-organized gardens started appearing, my heart became much more at ease. At the same time, I also felt pathetic toward myself.
The fact that with just the fact that Joel wasn’t there, I got scared of a man smaller than me in that neighborhood. Also, I felt sorry that I committed a wrong and ransacked Joel’s space, yet couldn’t find him and couldn’t apologize.
I entered the house gloomily with regret and unidentifiable negative emotions. But as soon as I entered, cheers of “Waaa!” and laughter burst out. Following the source, Mom and Winter were sitting side by side at the kitchen table laughing.
“Ah, July’s home!”
“I’m back. But what are you doing?”
Something was sprawled all over the table. When I approached and looked closely, they were papers.
“We were choosing wedding invitations and wedding invitation envelopes!”
Winter said to me with a bright smile.
“You’re already choosing wedding invitations?”
“Of course! If we’re going to send invitations and get replies about whether they can attend or not, we have to send them early.”
Mom playfully smacked my back as if asking what I was talking about. Do they originally get replies about attendance when having a wedding? I don’t know since I’ve never gotten married. Since this is America, it might be different.
I also took a seat and sat down, looking at the envelope that seemed the nicest. It was palm-sized white paper with a slightly pinkish tinge.
“Have you already decided on the location?”
“All decided. Even the wedding dress! I decided to pass down the one I wore. How fortunate that Mom and Winter have similar clothing sizes!”
“Fast.”
Without my knowing, hyung’s wedding was progressing swiftly. I hoped the ceremony would be held while I was here, and fortunately, it seemed I would be able to see hyung’s wedding.
I felt like I would get more depressed, but I didn’t want to upset Winter and Mom’s mood, so I smiled brightly. And I pointed to the envelope I had chosen with my eyes earlier.
“I think this one is the prettiest.”
“Okay. We should go with that then! Then what about the invitation?”
“Mmm… this one.”
At Winter’s question, I rubbed my chin and even scrunched up my face while agonizing to choose an invitation paper. Hyung’s lovely girlfriend laughed wahaha again this time too.
“Then we should go with that invitation too! July, you’re the one who chose it!”
Winter put the invitation paper I chose into the envelope I chose and held it out. I put in and took out the invitation envelope and paper with nothing written on it, doing pointless hand fidgeting. And a few hours later, I handed it to hyung who came back. Hyung also laughed wahaha saying anything was good since his younger sibling decided. The people who would soon be a married couple were too alike.
