When they arrived at the hospital, since the sun had already set, the only place the two could go was the emergency room.
After waiting a considerable amount of time for an examination, the diagnosis came back as a simple cold. For having done several tests saying this winter’s flu was going around, the illness was lighter than expected. Even if Haeyoung couldn’t completely relax, he could exhale the breath he’d been holding.
Looking at Seonwoo, who was leaning against the emergency room bed receiving an IV, he said.
“Ah, seriously Cha Seonwoo. You should have just rested at home…”
Even knowing he shouldn’t blame him, the words came out grumbling for no reason. Hearing those words, Seonwoo laughed with a quiet “haha” sound.
“Send only you? Haeyoung-ah…, just tell me to die.”
At the answer that eventually came back, Yoon Haeyoung made a face of disbelief. What are you saying, is this something to die over? It might be a little sad. Even if it’s a little sad, you could still live.
“What on earth are you talking about?”
Haeyoung let out an empty laugh with a somewhat relaxed face, saying that joke was brutal. Instead of correcting or refuting those words, Seonwoo lightly tapped the side of his bed with his hand.
“Isn’t it hard sitting? Just come up on the bed and lie down.”
“Don’t try anything.”
Haeyoung, who had been wearing a somewhat dazed face as all his tension released at once, stiffened his face at the words he heard. Hearing the answer that came back with an empty laugh, Seonwoo let out a quiet laugh.
“Hyung, you’re sick but you’re laughing?”
“Yeah… Because I’m sick, I’m happy that you keep staying by my side.”
Seonwoo, who smiled with folded eyes, really seemed to be in a good mood. Seeing him with a huge needle stuck in his forearm yet wearing a face that said he was just dying of happiness while looking at him was absurd.
Haeyoung firmly held back wanting to ask crookedly just how old he was. However, this wasn’t a problem that would end just because he held back alone.
“I think it would be good to be sick every day…”
The voice that flowed out like a whisper was sweet. That’s why it rather felt like a faint fever was rising. Haeyoung, who reflexively clenched his fist tightly, took a deep breath to calm his mind.
It’s fucking absurd, but he can’t hit a sick person.
“Just sleep. Close your eyes.”
Since they said they’d put in the IV slowly, it would easily take an hour. Seeing how he was nodding off even in the taxi, Seonwoo had clearly been accumulating fatigue knowingly or unknowingly. Haeyoung, who thought putting him to sleep was the best option in many ways, showed a stern expression with his mouth closed.
“Haeyoung-ah.”
“……”
However, the other person didn’t seem to intend to cooperate.
Far from closing his eyes, Cha Seonwoo even smiled with his eyes while calling him. He was just like a young child who threw more tantrums than usual whenever his body wasn’t well. Only Haeyoung, who wanted to put him to sleep quickly, became even more troubled.
His already white skin became even paler, making him pitifully heartbreaking. A bitter look began to settle on Haeyoung’s face once again.
“Haeyoung-ah.”
“Why, Seonwoo-ya.”
“You can’t leave me and go anywhere…”
“Where would I go leaving a sick person? I won’t go.”
Just where did he think he would go, leaving a patient behind? A hint of anxiety could even be glimpsed on Seonwoo’s face as he kept talking. Though he was unavoidably upset that he was sick, the sight of him rarely acting like a child was somehow cute too.
It was when Haeyoung, who let out a pointless laugh, grabbed the bed frame to soothe him.
“You can’t leave. When I open my eyes again, you have to be by my side.”
“……”
“Promise me quickly, Yoon Haeyoung.”
The gentle voice was as affectionate as usual, but the tone urging him didn’t show its usual ease. For Haeyoung, who had spent a considerable amount of time with him, he couldn’t help but notice the sense of incongruity from that difference.
The bare face of the deep anxiety hidden beneath the smile was revealed. Unfamiliar with this side of him that he was seeing for the first time in his life, Haeyoung momentarily put strength into the hand gripping the frame. The hand gripping the frame turned pale.
He could lightly nod his head. He could laugh it off saying what was there to worry about when they had to go home together anyway. However, what he was asking wasn’t simply words taken out just regarding the current situation.
Having noticed that, Haeyoung couldn’t just brazenly pass it over pretending not to know.
“…Just sleep.”
Even opening his lips felt heavy. Haeyoung released the strength from the hand that had been gripping the frame while forcing a smile. And covering Seonwoo’s eyes with his hand, he gently patted as if telling him to sleep.
Seonwoo, who had been drawing an ambiguous curve on his lips as if he had words left to say, eventually also raised one hand. Seonwoo, who overlapped his hand on top of the hand covering his eyes, silently raised the corners of his mouth. It was a posture where he would immediately notice and sit up if he removed his hand.
Eventually, he realized through the sensation tickling his hand that his eyes had closed. At the same time, the faint smile that had been hanging on Haeyoung’s mouth easily crumbled.
Was it not long after they broke up? The day he was packing his things at Seonwoo’s house suddenly came to mind. Since there were more things that weren’t his, two bags were enough as he only packed a few books and clothes. However, the time he stood stopped in front of the door for a long while, his steps leaving the house heavier than the luggage in his hands.
Two seasons had already passed since barely escaping from that time.
Yoon Haeyoung couldn’t imagine what thoughts Cha Seonwoo, who had returned home, must have had. It would be more correct to say he didn’t want to imagine. While floundering in the swamp he had fallen into, he hadn’t thought about what he had left for Seonwoo and what he had taken away.
‘I… did wrong, Haeyoung-ah.’
Haeyoung, who recalled the touch that had desperately held onto him, squeezed his eyes shut. Just as he had obtained a wound from him that wouldn’t be erased, Haeyoung realized that he had also left an equal trauma on him.
That realization was not welcome at all. Haeyoung, who opened his eyes again, opened his mouth as if muttering toward Seonwoo lying down while holding his hand.
“……Hyung, I’m sorry.”
The emergency room wasn’t entirely quiet. Therefore, it was a small voice that could be missed, caught up in the surrounding noise, unless one deliberately paid attention. Enough that it might not be properly heard if one focused on the hospital smell lingering at the tip of their nose.
However, the other person sat up as soon as the words fell. As if he had never once withdrawn his attention from him, without even a moment’s hesitation. Haeyoung opened his eyes wide as if surprised by the force pulling his arm toward the bed.
Haeyoung’s upper body, tilted toward the bed, soon came into contact with a firm embrace. Seonwoo, who had raised his body from lying down, immediately pulled the frozen Haeyoung into his arms. It was a gesture closer to clinging than embracing.
“What’s wrong…”
The end of the low voice was trembling as if breaking.
Because his body suddenly leaned toward Haeyoung’s side, the IV connected to the needle made a clanking sound. At that sound, Haeyoung hurriedly looked up over Seonwoo’s shoulder with surprised eyes. A ripple had formed in the IV that had been dripping drop by drop from the glass bottle hanging in the air.
After confirming the IV stand that was shaking but seemed fine, Haeyoung lowered his gaze to Seonwoo’s hand gripping the bed. Strength was fully loaded into the arm with the needle stuck in it. Thinking it would be dangerous like this, he hurriedly reached out and pushed his hand under Seonwoo’s hand.
“Don’t say things like that. I’m really not hurt, Haeyoung-ah. You didn’t do anything wrong, so don’t make that face… Okay?”
Unlike his body that was stiff to the point of being rigid, his voice was cautious and desperate.
“Don’t be sorry to me for anything. You have nothing to be sorry for. Really… not a single thing.”
At the following words, Haeyoung’s mouth, which had been open as if flustered, gradually closed too.
Both of them knew it wasn’t a story just about this moment right now. Yoon Haeyoung had simply borrowed this moment to deliver the apology he had wanted to give all along, and Cha Seonwoo had noticed the meaning of his words. Haeyoung, whose chest felt stuffy, raised the hand that had been hesitating with his mouth tightly closed.
The hand that went up behind Seonwoo, who was hugging him, patted as if stroking down his back. He could feel the tension carried in his body gradually dispersing with the affectionate gesture that continued for a while.
“Okay, I got it, so… Lie down for now.”
Haeyoung laid such a Seonwoo back down on the bed. However, under the bright light, neither of the two closed their eyes first.
He wished he would get even a little sleep, but Cha Seonwoo didn’t seem to have any intention of taking his gaze off him at all. Haeyoung, who had been looking down at him, eventually bent his body and rested his head on the bed. Then the hand that came up silently on top began to slowly stroke down Haeyoung’s hair.
He was sad at the fact that even while sick, he had looked only at him without showing it. And…….
“Hah…”
Yoon Haeyoung hated himself for coldly pushing away his upright heart. He wanted to be greedy.
***
It was on the way to the stairs to go up to the second floor after opening the front door, coming in, and taking off his shoes. As if they had been in the dining room, the sound of hurried walking was heard, and two people entered Haeyoung’s view.
“Oppa, are you okay?”
“Hyung, what about going to work this morning?”
As soon as they returned home, the ones who greeted the two as if they had been waiting were Soyoon and Minho.
They were standing side by side looking at them with worried faces. Haeyoung, who was meeting those gazes, reflexively lowered his gaze to the phone he was holding. The dark screen turned on, emitting bright light. The time displayed on the screen had passed 1 AM.
…Did they wait without sleeping? Just as Haeyoung was puzzled, a gentle voice was heard from behind.
“My body is fine too, and I can just take sick leave from the company, so it’s okay.”
It was surely just brushing it off casually so those who had waited until now wouldn’t worry. However, to Soyoon listening, it seemed to sound quite plausible.
The light of curiosity about just where that company with good welfare that had flexible working hours and freely gave sick leave could be crossed Soyoon’s eyes once again. Though she wasn’t the personality to interrogate first about what company he worked at, if she became more curious, who knows.
Eventually, to appropriately cut off Soyoon’s curiosity, Haeyoung stepped forward and opened his mouth.
“Since it’s late anyway, let’s go up.”
At his words, Seonwoo nodded with a smile, and the others also readily agreed, saying let’s do that.
Soyoon, who used a room on the first floor, was the first to disappear while waving her hand. As she entered her room, the hallway quickly became silent. Haeyoung came up to the second floor along the stairs with the remaining two people.
