“Who did you eat with?”
“…A fellow instructor from the academy.”
I was going to respond curtly because I was annoyed, but my mouth ran away with excuses on its own.
“He let me observe the class today and gave me lots of advice. I was grateful so I paid for the meal… But he bought coffee instead. So I didn’t spend separately on coffee. Why, I drink two cups a day, as you know.”
Fuck. Aren’t I being too pathetic right now? Heat surged up inside me.
“You even drank coffee together?”
Jukyung muttered. Whether it was because his chin was buried in the blanket or because it was dark, his low voice sounded ominous.
“Was it a man or woman?”
Can’t he sleep? Making a fuss asking about useless things.
“A man.”
“He’s not an Alpha by any chance, is he?”
“…What’s with the sudden Alpha talk? Are Alphas that common? He’s a Beta.”
Alphas and Omegas hung out with their own kind, so while they seemed numerous at a glance, they were actually extremely rare when you calculated the population ratio. It was rude in itself to even distinguish between Alpha and Beta, so unless someone revealed it themselves, people didn’t ask or anything.
“Are you sure?”
“What does it matter if I’m not sure?”
I grumbled. Honestly speaking, if it were an Alpha, it was actually me who would be reluctant. Even after full manifestation, I’d been tightly concealing my pheromones. Just in case some Alpha who realized I was an Omega tried to hit on me. Absolutely disgusting.
“If it were an Alpha, I wouldn’t have asked for class observation or anything. I would have declined from my end.”
An emotional complaint popped out without me realizing it. Jukyung seemed to stay silent for a moment, then asked again.
“…Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“Why don’t you like it if they’re Alpha?”
“I just… don’t like them. They’re annoying. They think they’re so great.”
“…That varies by person. Have you even met all Alphas?”
“I’ve met enough. And they were all without exception not great. Anyway, what does it matter? I just don’t like them. It’s not like you’re an Alpha.”
“……”
Jukyung shut his mouth. Maybe my tone was too aggressive and unpleasant to hear.
Of course, the Alphas I’d met could be counted on one hand, but since my closest blood relatives—my father and older brother—were both Alphas, it was enough to instill in me the prejudice that they were arrogant and annoying beings. And honestly, even aside from the resentment I felt toward my father and brother, Alphas were consistently uncomfortable counterparts simply because they were the partners I’d have to marry by force someday.
The rejection I felt toward Alphas was likely largely due to the fact that I hadn’t been a complete Omega from the start but had lived like a Beta until I became an adult. Honestly, if I’d been a complete Beta or Omega from the beginning, I probably wouldn’t have felt the identity confusion I was experiencing to some degree. Actually, looking at it from that perspective, the Alphas had done nothing wrong, but I was indiscriminately disliking them just because they were beings who made me feel that way.
But suddenly, I thought that even if Jukyung himself wasn’t an Alpha, he might have Alphas among his family or close friends. If so, naturally my words lumping all Alphas together and badmouthing them would be uncomfortable to hear.
“Sorry.”
I apologized belatedly in a deflated voice.
“I just mean they personally don’t match with me. Rather than them being particularly bad.”
“……”
“……”
Jukyung didn’t answer, and I didn’t know what else to add, so I stayed quiet. Just when I thought we were ending the day in an awkward atmosphere, Jukyung suddenly brought up a different topic.
“Why did you leave home?”
“……”
I fell into brief contemplation. Should I tell Jukyung the truth or not? Actually, I still didn’t feel close enough to divulge such private matters in detail, but I also thought that since I was indebted to him more than to a close friend, it was only proper to reveal at least the circumstances of how it happened.
“My father told me to get married.”
I blurted out the truth. I saw Jukyung flinch and look at me as if startled.
“What? Why would you get married already?”
It was a sensible reaction. I was rarely satisfied with Jukyung’s reaction.
“That’s what I’m saying. Does it make sense to talk about marriage at an age when I should be enjoying my youth?”
“Who’s the other person?”
Jukyung asked urgently. I recalled the face in the photo my father had hidden.
“Uh… I don’t know for sure. He just told me to show up at the arranged meeting without telling me… Well, I caught a glimpse of the photo, but it definitely wasn’t my type. If I have to look at someone for the rest of my life, at least the face should be to my taste, right? I got so upset I ran out without thinking about anything… The next day he immediately suspended my card. So that’s how I ended up in that state you saw.”
“…What is your type?”
I glared at Jukyung briefly in the darkness.
“You know, the people I dated at Leroy. Small, cute girls are my type.”
Doesn’t it make sense when you stole them away? I grumbled inwardly.
“……”
Was he acknowledging the wrong he’d committed? Jukyung was quiet for a long time without saying anything.
“Let’s just sleep, I’m tired.”
I turned my back and pulled the blanket over myself. Kwon Jukyung had nothing to say one way or another. Right, well, since when were we the kind of relationship that properly exchanged goodnight greetings anyway?
I tried to fall asleep while griping about Kwon Jukyung inwardly.
***
9
***
The next week. Finally, my long-awaited first class, my first work activity began.
The first class was quite rough. I had to break out in a cold sweat facing unfamiliar faces staring only at me. The dawn class was mostly office workers, and in the morning, college students and housewives filled the seats.
What I felt while teaching was that there were more people in Korea who were poor at English than I’d expected. Thinking about it, I’d received instruction from native speaker teachers from a young age, and during vacations I’d tour English-speaking countries with my brother accompanied by guardians, so I’d learned English naturally without much difficulty.
Even when learning other foreign languages at a British high school, whether Spanish or French, since they had similar roots to English, I didn’t feel much difficulty once I completely knew English. So there was no way I, who hadn’t majored in language education separately, could empathize with the difficulties of people whose language system was established only in Korean, and teaching foreign languages to them couldn’t be easy.
After observing Derek’s class and gaining some confidence while preparing diligently in my own way, I was greatly disappointed in myself at the unsatisfactory results. The second class was a bit better than the first, but the frantic fumbling was the same until the last time slot.
“Teacher Yun, this is your first time teaching at an academy, right?”
As soon as class ended, there was even a cute student who chased after me with an interested expression to ask. The girl who appeared to be a college student laughed cheerfully when I couldn’t answer properly with a frozen smile, then left the classroom with her friends.
I came back home with drooping shoulders and went to bed early. Perhaps because an utterly dejected atmosphere emanated from my whole body, Kwon Jukyung didn’t pick any fights with me that day at least.
The next day, I entered the classroom extremely tense. Students entered the empty classroom one by one, greeting me and taking their seats. Only after all the faces I’d seen yesterday appeared without exception did I let out a long sigh of relief inwardly.
Honestly, after yesterday’s disastrous class, I’d been secretly worried that everyone would rush to the front desk demanding refunds or pouring out complaints to be transferred to other classes. Since they could change classes within this week, it wasn’t yet a situation to feel relieved about, but still, it was true that I felt a little more at ease.
Moreover, the female student who had mischievously asked yesterday if this was my first time at an academy even placed a drink with cute stickers on my table as she came in.
“As expected, handsome guys have it good.”
After all the students left, as I came out of the classroom half-exhausted, Derek, who happened to be coming out of the classroom across from mine, laughed teasingly when he saw the stickers on the drink bottle in my hand.
“Even when I teach passionately enough to cough up blood, they don’t even buy me a vending machine coffee.”
I let out a weak laugh.
“They must have felt sorry for me. Because I looked so clueless.”
“It’s okay. Cheer up. Them feeling sorry for you is also because they can see you’re working hard. It’s a paid lecture, so who would put up with it if there’s no substance? Hang in there. It’ll get better once you get used to it. Yesterday was the first day so I was out of it too and couldn’t pay attention, but let’s go eat. I’ll buy.”
“No…”
Kwon Jukyung’s words—don’t buy for others or accept treats—came to mind, and words of refusal were about to pop out automatically. But mentally exhausted, I didn’t want to just go home and be alone like this. I wanted to chat about this and that with a colleague doing the same work, especially a veteran senior, and hear about the industry while relieving stress.
