I originally never wore the same clothes the next day either, but actually that was also changing in a fashion sense, and I thought if it wasn’t clothes directly touching skin, there was no need to wash them every single day. I shrugged my shoulders.
“What’s wrong with it? I’m fine with it.”
“I’m not fine with it. When you’re walking around alone, maybe.”
Jukyung frowned. As if. I’d forgotten about his cleanliness obsession.
“I need to buy everyday clothes too, and shoes—sneakers, dress shoes all… um… underwear and clothes to sleep in too…”
As if absorbed in his own thoughts, Jukyung’s words to me gradually turned into muttering. Then he pulled out several more clothes hanging on the rack. I grabbed Jukyung’s arm with a somewhat reluctant feeling.
“Hey, what’s needed is needed, but are we buying from here?”
“Why, don’t you like the stuff here? I think it suits you.”
“That’s not it.”
I lowered my voice a bit, glancing at the clerk. That I’d live to say these words someday.
“Are you okay with the prices here?”
Jukyung paused.
“Ah… right.”
Jukyung’s pupils shook slightly. He’d clearly just grasped the situation. I don’t know what his salary is, but while buying one or two items for himself occasionally might be okay, he naturally wouldn’t have the financial power to buy mine all at once like that.
Why is he suddenly losing his mind when he was trembling over every penny? He handed me a debit card talking about credit delinquency and whatnot, but isn’t he the one with real shopping addiction?
“Mm…”
Jukyung looked regretfully at the several clothes he’d handed to the clerk. Though they were my clothes, I couldn’t understand why he was so disappointed. Was he the type who felt thrilled by the act of buying things itself, regardless of whose they were? Like a feeling of vicarious satisfaction?
As for me, I was the type to buy without much thought if something caught my eye, but I didn’t particularly have strong material desires. Back then, shopping was just one way to pass time. Therefore, I had nothing to regret about not buying those clothes now. It was true that I needed them, so I could just buy cheaper ones.
“Still, if you go around like this, I feel uneasy. For now, let’s just buy clothes to wear today and a suit to wear for interviews. I’ll get other clothes separately. Anyway, the money spent is what you’ll pay back eventually, and you’d prefer familiar clothes anyway, right?”
Jukyung, while pretending to ask my opinion, actually didn’t give me time to answer and thrust the knit and cotton pants he’d first held up to me into my arms.
“Go change and come out. If it fits, we’ll pay right away and you can wear it.”
So basically, since he was satisfying his shopping desires with my money anyway, it didn’t matter?
An hour later, I had consequently bought from four stores: two suits, four dress shirts, two ties, two pairs of dress shoes and one pair of sneakers, a suit bag, and one more set of everyday clothes top and bottom, and two sets of training clothes. Since they were all luxury brands, I had to watch Jukyung’s back as he swiped the card with somewhat mixed feelings. Wondering how much he’d torment me with that each time.
Or maybe an ordinary person’s salary could actually buy that much, and that bastard was just exaggerating. Just to make me worry. Honestly, I wasn’t too worried about paying back the money itself. I could earn and pay it back, right? It’s not like I bought a building—how much could it be?
Anyway, I confirmed one fact—that Kwon Jukyung even had shopping addiction. Though we only bought a bunch of my stuff, he strangely looked in a good mood. He didn’t even buy a single handkerchief for himself.
After loading all the shopping items into the back seat with the store employee’s help, Jukyung suggested going to see a movie. I don’t know why he’s so excited. It’s as if he’s happy to be putting me in debt. I keep getting suspicious whether he’s really plotting to sell me out to Father.
He seems to have above-average humanity, but at the same time he has cleanliness obsession, compulsive disorder, selective stinginess, and on top of that, shopping addiction.
The more I knew him, the more unknowable he was.
***
The place Jukyung took me to was a premium movie theater—a comfortable and pleasant place with a large screen and not too many seats. I was about to sit in the chair when I noticed the middle armrest was raised, so I pulled it back down. Jukyung’s displeased gaze landed on that armrest. I could see his brow twitching meanly, but I shrugged and immediately ignored it. So what? It was Jukyung who mistakenly chose a couple seat. Even if he glared at me blaming me for it, he had nothing to say.
Jukyung placed the popcorn he’d bought in the middle. He bought a couple set, so we had to share one bucket of popcorn. I didn’t eat much popcorn anyway, so sharing one bucket didn’t really matter to me. But Jukyung, feeling guilty about something, made excuses about how buying the couple set gave a discount. Who said anything?
I answered half-heartedly, “Yeah, okay,” and put a few kernels of popcorn in my mouth. At first I didn’t think anything of it, but during the movie our hands kept bumping, which was a bit annoying. No, I was actually fine with that too, but every time we bumped, Jukyung flinched, and that really bothered me a lot. It reminded me of when Jukyung flinched worried about bumping into me when I was in a dirty vagrant state not long ago.
Petty bastard. Why not just buy them separately instead of worrying about that discount of a few pennies? When buying expensive clothes left and right, maybe think about wasting money then. Or did he think of it separately because it’s money I’ll pay back? Anyway, he was a guy whose focus was off in many ways.
Except for being bothered by Jukyung flinching every time our shoulders, arms, and hands touched occasionally, the movie wasn’t bad. Since I didn’t usually go to movie theaters much, the taste of watching on a big screen after a long time was nice too.
But it was when the movie ended and I stopped by the bathroom to wash my hands sticky from popcorn. I was looking around the lobby to find Jukyung when I heard someone other than me calling Jukyung.
“Hey, Kwon Jukyung! It is Kwon Jukyung, right?”
My gaze turned toward where the sound came from. A man around my age was walking over with a big smile on his face, and sure enough, the person standing there who turned around was none other than that Kwon Jukyung who came with me.
“Wow, seeing you at a movie theater, I thought I was seeing things. You barely came to Korea, showed your face once, and why haven’t you contacted anyone? You don’t even appear in the group chat. What are you doing going silent? Busy? Did your uncle finally put you on a leash?”
The man wrapped his arm around Jukyung’s shoulder with a very glad face and rattled off words. It was a very intimate action and tone.
“Oh, Jung Heechan. You’re here…”
“You don’t really like going to movie theaters. What brings you here? Don’t tell me…”
The man called Heechan looked around as if searching for someone.
“Don’t tell me you got a lover? Did things work out with that person you said was in England? Hey, fuck, so that’s why you went silent. Is that person still in Korea… mmph.”
Jukyung suddenly covered the man’s mouth. His face clearly showed signs of fluster somehow.
“Why are you making such a fuss in a public place, you bastard? Just shut up.”
At that moment, my eyes met Jukyung’s across the man. For some reason I didn’t know, the color seemed to drain from Jukyung’s face the moment he confirmed me. The man removed Jukyung’s hand and turned his head, also discovering me. Since we were exchanging glances, he seemed to think we were together.
“Oh, wasn’t it a date? A friend? I’ve never seen him before, who is he?”
“He’s someone you don’t need to know, so be quiet and come here for a sec.”
Jukyung cut off the man’s question in a fierce tone. Then he immediately grabbed his nape and dragged him in the opposite direction from where I was. Both his actions and tone seemed like they were quite close friends, but I couldn’t understand why he looked so uncomfortable. Anyway, seeing how he was acting, it didn’t seem like he intended to introduce me, so I first leisurely moved my steps toward the entrance.
Even so, it’s not like I was in a beggar state right now, so I felt a bit hurt wondering if he really needed to avoid me so openly. Well, we are in a somewhat awkward relationship to introduce.
What should I say? Creditor and debtor? Just a classmate I barely know who’s leeching off him? To put it more severely, host and parasite? No, why would I think of myself like that? I’m trying to get depressed for no reason.
Jukyung dragged the man to a corner and began talking. I couldn’t hear what they were saying at all, but the man’s face, constantly glancing my way, was full of curiosity. Jukyung’s conversation seemed to be getting long, so I stopped walking toward the entrance and decided to sit in a nearby chair to wait. The few words I first heard between Jukyung and the man kept circling in my head.
Did he have a lover? Well, there’s no way he didn’t… If he has a lover and I’ve settled in his house, he’d be more bothered. Hmm… would there be cases where he can’t bring them home because of me and has to go to a hotel? Should I offer to compensate for date expenses too? Well, I don’t mind. But still…
I craned my neck to look at the ceiling. The lighting fixtures hanging high shone brilliantly. It’s an interior that clearly shows money was spent.
Someone he doesn’t need to know. Even if it’s true, that’s hurtful, you bastard who’ll incur a thousand-nyang debt with your three-inch tongue.
***
6
“Did you have a lover?”
I stayed silent while eating dinner, but ended up bringing it up on the car ride home. I was needlessly curious and it kept bothering me inside. I was looking ahead, but I felt Jukyung’s gaze glancing at me at my question.
“Well… I guess. Why?”
“Just. I’m curious. I was also wondering if I’m making things inconvenient in various ways by being at your house.”
“That’s not the only inconvenient thing, and if I said it bothers me, what, would you leave?”
Jukyung said indifferently. Having been hit right on the mark, I was momentarily at a loss for words. Of course, right now I’m not in a position to leave.
“No, that’s difficult, but I was thinking I’d pay you back later even for hotel fees.”
