The moment their lips touched, a soft sensation was conveyed at his mouth.
As Abrisius’s moist lips touched him, Seianes’s pupils shook uncontrollably.
That appearance was indescribably lovely, and a thrilling shiver flowed down through Abrisius.
His frontal lobe was stimulated in his brain, and an impulse difficult to endure arose.
‘Now, Abrisius, hurry and prove that you love him.’
While enjoying the kiss with his eyes closed, Abrisius’s touch moved even more boldly. He fiercely grabbed and embraced Seianes’s stiff waist. So he could come even closer to him.
“Haa… hup, ah…!”
“Seianes… Sei, Seii…”
Languid sighs passed between them. An intense kiss filled only with desperation and excitement.
A dreamlike stimulation conquered his brain and made him covet the soft and warm lips.
His head, which had been consumed by jealousy and anxiety, sank so rapidly that his thoughts stopped. Breath that came in suddenly without time to prepare. Biting and clinging to Seianes’s lips, Abrisius couldn’t even think of letting go.
Like this, he wanted to covet his things more deeply.
He slightly wedged his lips apart at the blocked breath. The moment his stopped thoughts broke the circuit of reason and drove Abrisius to the ends of pleasure and immorality.
“St, stop… Don’t!”
With sudden fierce resistance, the hot breath was instantly torn away and lost its warmth.
“Heo, heok… huk…”
“Now… Stop now.”
Seianes, who had separated Abrisius from himself, gasped roughly. A quiet stillness chillingly wrapped around the Greenhouse Garden, and only Seianes’s breathing echoed softly.
“What… Seianes?”
He couldn’t understand.
Touching his lips, Abrisius made a dazed expression. The warmth and sensation conveyed from the lips he had tasted just moments ago were vivid. Without drying, Abrisius’s expression as he touched the still-wet lips that proved the contact from just before wasn’t a dream was rotting away nicely as soon as he became aware that Seianes had pushed him away.
‘Why, why is he rejecting me? Why is Seianes doing this to me?’
His pupils, immersed in shock, shook.
He had thought Seianes’s reaction couldn’t be unconditionally positive, but he had never considered at all that he would push him away like this. Because it was Seianes who said he would love any version of Abrisius, he couldn’t even imagine this kind of rejection.
On Seianes’s face that he was now facing, the love and affection he usually felt couldn’t be found.
Confusion and shock. Indescribably complex emotions were revealed on his expression, but among all those emotions, things like love and affection weren’t felt.
“You, what are you doing right now?”
At Seianes’s firm words, shocked Abrisius’s mouth trembled.
“Seianes… Why are you like this…?”
Like someone lost and wandering, stammering and soon looking at Seianes with tears in his eyes, a miserable appearance. Hot water flowed down his cheeks.
“Abrisius, what’s wrong with you? You shouldn’t do this.”
“B, but Seianes… I…”
“You… Whatever you’re misunderstanding, Abrisius… I…”
Taking a step back from the approaching Abrisius, Seianes wiped his mouth. After calming his breathing with a deep breath, he slowly opened his mouth.
“I thought of you like my child. Not even once have I ever thought of you in that way.”
“…”
It felt like his heart was being carved out.
Abrisius looked at Seianes with a blank face.
‘Why, why, why?’
Countless questions floated around. Seianes had the same feelings as him. No, he must have had the same feelings. But to push him away like this? Unable to believe it, Abrisius staggered and then plopped down on the spot.
“…Ah.”
But even though he had fallen, Seianes, who would normally have rushed to him in one bound…
“…”
Was looking at him with a complicated face.
“Seianes… I fell.”
He cried out to him as if returning to his childhood. It might look childish and immature. Even he thought himself pathetic.
But if it was Seianes who thought of him as a child his whole life, there was a strange hope that he wouldn’t just watch this kind of behavior.
However, making that meaningless, Seianes was cold-hearted.
He quietly watched the fallen Abrisius. Still with a face unable to hide his shock. At that sight, Abrisius, who became even more anxious, stretched out his hand. The hand that had lost its destination reached toward Seianes.
“I… Hold me. I think I twisted my ankle. Just once.”
“Sorry.”
Cold-heartedly, Seianes turned his head away. He who would run over even if Abrisius just twisted his leg slightly had changed.
“Abrisius, I need time to think alone.”
Because those words sounded like a clear rejection of him, Abrisius couldn’t say anything at all.
Despair.
Yes, it was despair. The feeling of terrible despair swallowing his entire body. Indescribable shock flowed in, painfully piercing his chest.
Anger with nowhere to go and self-esteem that had collapsed. What hurt more than that was the rejection from Seianes, who was more precious than anyone he loved.
“No! Don’t go.”
Abrisius’s voice echoed in the air.
The one who would answer had long since left. The voice muttered in the air, spread, and then disappeared.
Unable to shake off his sense of despair, Abrisius collapsed on the floor like that and wept, holding his breath.
Even if Seianes’s and his own feelings couldn’t be unconditionally the same, he had never thought about being cold-heartedly rejected by him. His whole body trembled like an aspen tree from the shock.
Crouched down while sitting, it felt like returning to his childhood. A lonely child with no one to embrace him. The despair that he couldn’t be loved, that he couldn’t receive love, welled up from within.
His throat was parched and sorrowful with a thirst that wouldn’t be quenched.
“Did I never have a chance from the beginning?”
Because Seianes showed hostility toward Cairens, he had thought that perhaps he might have a chance too. However, as if mocking his thoughts, Seianes cast out Abrisius in the most terrible way.
Plop.
His eyes were hot. When he touched what was flowing from his eyes, transparent water was wetting his hands.
“Ha, haha…”
Only then did Abrisius realize he was crying. Tears he couldn’t control flowed hotly down his cheeks. Without any thought of stopping the tears pouring down like rain, seeking an unreachable love, Abrisius wept for a long while in that spot, holding his breath.
* * *
“Heok… huk.”
Seianes, who had escaped outside the Greenhouse Garden to avoid Abrisius, gasped for breath.
The subtle heat still felt at his mouth. The child’s saliva that might have already permeated was vividly felt.
“Why so suddenly…”
He couldn’t understand. Why he was suddenly acting like this toward him—Seianes was troubled because he couldn’t know Abrisius’s intentions.
He prided himself on never having not loved Abrisius, whom he had raised, even once.
But he had never thought of it in this way. He loved Abrisius, but that love was far from this kind.
‘What did I do wrong?’
He had never treated the child in a sexual way until now, nor had he given the other party room to feel that way.
He had only thought of him like a child he kept in his arms. Whether there was some problem with the love he gave, it was shocking that he approached him in this way.
[Don’t go.]
He recalled Abrisius crying out when he saw him trying to leave. The hand that reached out piteously toward him. If it had been the usual Seianes, he would have grabbed it without hesitation.
But unable to hold that hand, he had just left.
“Again…”
The gaze that had been looking at him with a shocked face lingered. Just as he was about to turn around, thinking he should return to the child,
“Seianes-nim.”
An unwelcome visitor’s voice shook his eardrums.
