‘I want to sleep here and go…’
Ido’s sweet voice complaining wrapped around his ear. Wookyung opened his eyes that had been drowsily closed and deliberately made a stern face.
‘No. Stay ten more minutes then go to your room.’
‘You’re heartless, Team Leader-nim.’
‘You know. I’m the one who doesn’t want to send you away more.’
Kissing the head he was hugging, Wookyung muttered.
Every time he had to soothe this child who wanted to be with him and separate him from himself, every time he had to push the cleanly washed tender body into President Park’s room, the tower precariously built in his heart crumbled bit by bit.
The more he loved this child, the more the agony over his own powerlessness grew thicker day by day. Fucking bastard. He was the gutless idiot who had to guard the door of the old man who forcibly took the person he loved.
Self-loathing gnawed at Wookyung’s insides bit by bit every day. Every time Ido looked up at him with pure eyes, every time he sweetly kissed him, that dark emotion grew bigger and stronger.
However, Ido didn’t resent Wookyung for pretending not to know his suffering. He didn’t subtly whine or urge him to do something about it. He never complained even jokingly about Wookyung pushing him into that room. On days when President Park roughly handled his body, he replaced his unspoken complaints by clinging to Wookyung a bit more desperately. The pity he felt watching such Ido and the self-loathing that followed were entirely Wookyung’s burden.
‘Okay, okay.’
Ido stuck out his lips like complaining. Seeing Ido’s expression, his chest hurt as if stabbed by glass shards. Self-loathing seeped in like water through the torn wound, stinging. Hiding all such emotions, Wookyung lightly pressed his hot lips against Ido’s lips. Even while doing so, he cursed himself inwardly, calling himself a coward.
‘Mm…’
Making a sweet nasal sound, the corners of Ido’s eyes curved gently.
‘I like it most… when Team Leader-nim kisses me like this…’
He caressed Ido’s pretty eyes with his fingers. Every time Wookyung’s thick fingers gently touched, Ido smiled pleasantly.
‘And among Team Leader-nim’s body, I like… these hands the most.’
Two slender, white hands grabbed Wookyung’s wrist and rubbed it against his cheek. His tiny face fit snugly into Wookyung’s warm, dry palm. Worried that his soft skin might get scratched, Wookyung tried to pull his hand back slightly, but Ido’s hands wouldn’t let go.
‘…You’ll get hurt on your face doing that. My hands have a lot of calluses…’
‘It’s fine.’
He showered each finger with light kisses like a bird pecking. Wookyung’s face, which had been hardened by various thoughts, quickly relaxed.
Letting out a helpless laugh, Wookyung hugged Ido. On days like this when he hated himself and felt powerless, Ido would notice without fail and comfort Wookyung in his own way. The more he received such comfort from this child, the more he disliked himself, yet in the end, he would helplessly crumble before Ido’s innocent smile.
His soft body wrapped around the hard, rough body without hesitation. Ido smiled as he climbed on top of Wookyung’s naked body.
‘Lewd. Don’t smile like that.’
‘Lewd? I just smiled… then how should I smile?’
‘Just smile in front of me. Don’t smile anywhere else.’
‘Okay. Jagiya.’
I really can’t win against this little one. Looking up at the white, playful face with a bitter smile, the red lips that had approached at some point blew hot breath into his ear with a huff. The soft, pliant lips soon settled on his earlobe.
‘…Don’t. My ears are ugly.’
‘Why do you always tell me not to? They’re all pretty to me.’
‘They’re bumpy and gross.’
As befitting someone who had done judo for a long time, Wookyung’s ears were a mess. Hardened clots of blood had clumped together to the point they could be called ‘dumpling ears,’ completely deformed. It was because he had neglected to properly drain the blood that had accumulated in his earlobes from repeated friction and rubbing during training and sparring.
‘They’re not gross. Team Leader-nim’s body is all pretty.’
‘Just the body?’
With mischief rising, Wookyung grinned and looked up at Ido sitting astride his waist.
‘Your face is pretty too… and here is pretty too.’
Ido giggled and pressed Wookyung’s firm chest firmly with his finger.
‘…Chest muscles?’
‘No. Your heart.’
‘Are you serious?’
‘Of course.’
Since entering Daneum, Wookyung had felt like he was stepping into a dark cave every day. Even knowing he wouldn’t be able to come back out once he entered the damp, humid cave that opened its pitch-black maw, his steps forward didn’t stop. He had been walking as if being sucked deeper and deeper, endlessly inward.
He wanted to stop but couldn’t. The cave kept pulling Wookyung into abyss-like darkness. It had long been since the surroundings had darkened and he couldn’t find even a sliver of light. Whether his eyes were open or closed made no difference. Constantly falling and rolling on the ground, Wookyung groped his way forward. Along with the burden on his shoulders that felt heavier and heavier the more he walked.
His body was already covered in wounds. He was too exhausted. Years had passed wandering listlessly in the darkness, and at some point the abyss was trying to swallow Wookyung whole and become one.
Just as he was about to assimilate into it and become the darkness itself, he met a single small flame flickering like a candle.
The saying “like a candle before the wind” was perfect. The small fire flickered as if it would go out even from a single drop of water falling from the damp cave ceiling. However, the small red thing blinked precariously but didn’t go out. It created a spark in Wookyung’s vision that had been blind in the darkness, allowing him to see light.
When he came to his senses, Wookyung was walking as the light led him. His feet that had been moving without any purpose began to walk recognizing direction. The steps toward the light with purpose and consciousness were no longer weary.
The tiny flame that seemed utterly weak was truly a precious existence. Precious enough to want to hold tightly even though it was obvious he’d get burned if he embraced it too tightly. A person weak and desolate, and therefore sadly beautiful.
That person always told him he was beautiful. He thought it wasn’t something he deserved to hear, having bloodied his hands countless times in the dark cave, but Ido always said that. That both his outside and inside were beautiful. That Team Leader-nim was too kind a person.
‘Getting all kinds of praise from a kid.’
‘When I first asked you to buy me food… I wanted to eat it so badly. The person who bought it for me was Team Leader-nim. So to me, Team Leader-nim is the kindest person.’
‘What. Bean sprout soup?’
‘Yes. It was really delicious that day.’
Seeing Ido smacking his lips, Wookyung slightly raised the corners of his mouth.
‘Then, shall we go eat it tomorrow?’
‘Yes.’
It was when the two people’s low laughter was growing a bit thicker.
-Ding dong.
At the untimely doorbell sound, both people’s movements froze in an instant.
‘…Wh-who is it? At this hour…’
Ido’s eyes widened. At the same time, Wookyung’s lips hardened frighteningly.
There was no one who didn’t know that Wookyung, who had guarded President Park all night, slept at this time. For things like personal deliveries, delivery drivers or postal workers always left them at Daneum’s security office, and if someone had important business with Wookyung, they would have contacted him by phone first. No matter how much he thought about it, there was no one who would ring the bell at this time.
‘Team… Leader-nim. Wh-what should we do…?’
His white face had lost even more color. With a completely frightened expression, Ido hesitantly pulled the blanket to cover himself. Wookyung tried to maintain a calm expression and completely covered him up to the top of his head with the blanket.
‘Cover yourself with the blanket and lie down.’
‘But…’
‘…It’s fine. Lie down. Don’t make any sound.’
His chest pounded unpleasantly hard. The ominous premonition instantly seized and shook his insides. But trying to hide such signs, Wookyung gritted his teeth and soothed Ido.
Someone who would deliberately visit at this time. And the purpose for which that person came.
No matter how much he thought about it, the speculation converged on one thing. It was impossible to eliminate the evidence all at once because of the two people’s pheromones already thickly permeating the air. Knowing it was useless, Wookyung first opened the window wide. Then he answered slowly.
‘Who is it?’
-Wookyung. It’s me.
As expected. At President Park’s sly voice, Wookyung squeezed his eyes shut. His clenched fist trembled. However, Wookyung forced out a calm voice.
‘Please wait a moment. I’ll just put on some clothes.’
-Okay, take your time.
It was a tone as if enjoying this situation. Wookyung quickly picked up and put on clothes. He shoved Ido’s discarded shirt under the blanket and roughly threw on a top and pants. He quickly went to the entrance and put Ido’s shoes in the shoe cabinet.
He could avoid it no longer. The later he opened it, the more suspicious it would be.
Steeling himself firmly, Wookyung took a deep breath. The hand gripping the handle trembled finely. In the worst case, at least Ido… he had to think of a way to protect him right now. Dozens of scenarios flashed through his head. However, the time spent helplessly gripping and turning the doorknob passed like an instant.
When he opened the door, President Park was standing there smiling leisurely.
‘…President. At this hour, how…’
