“What did you say?”
Bowon stared blankly at Seoheon at the sudden announcement. After the after-party ended late at night and everyone scattered to go their separate ways, Seoheon had grabbed Bowon’s arm telling him not to leave just as Bowon had finished saying goodbye to his friends.
And toward Bowon who was looking at him puzzled, he kindly spoke up saying they needed to go upstairs.
“You… reserved a room?”
“Yeah. We were going to have a date tomorrow anyway.”
“That’s… true, but.”
“Since it’s the end of the year, there’ll be lots of people wherever we go, so it’s more comfortable and better for just the two of us to get a room and hang out, right?”
As if to drive the point home to Bowon whose expression was clouding over, Seoheon spoke in a calm tone. Looking so upright and honorable that Bowon, at a loss for words, traced back through the past days.
The day he had mixed feelings toward Seoheon who had nursed him with all kinds of care when he collapsed sick with a fever—the resolve he had made realizing it had to happen someday was made meaningless as his courage tried to slip away when the situation actually arrived.
While it was a bit annoying that he’d secretly reserved a hotel, he couldn’t just push away Seoheon who looked so solemn standing backlit by the yellow lighting.
Noticing Bowon’s hesitation, Seoheon swallowed the bitter laugh trying to escape and spoke as if to reassure him.
“Anyway, I won’t do anything today. I promised, didn’t I, that I’d wait until you became an adult.”
“……”
“But the reason I reserved the hotel is actually largely for that purpose. …Because it’s the day after tomorrow.”
At Seoheon’s unexpectedly honest attitude, Bowon’s eyes widened. Worried that he might run away, Seoheon blocked his path and swept up his bangs. He really looked exhausted, but the image he conveyed was like a warrior who didn’t want to be disturbed by anyone, so Bowon unconsciously laughed with held breath.
“Hyung won’t approach first unless I step forward like this. And even if I said I’d only hold hands, you wouldn’t believe me.”
Well, we’re not kids, so of course. Bowon’s insides stung, but feeling absurd, he bit his lips hard. He wondered how he should speak to the guy to convey this vague emotion favorably.
To Seoheon, that act of Bowon tormenting his own lips literally seemed like an expression of refusal, making him feel like his insides were burning up. Did he dislike it that much?
Slightly mischievous, Seoheon pressed his body close to Bowon and lowered his head. Then, in the moment Bowon let his guard down, he bit down hard on his finger. Though his expression wrinkled in pain, startled, Bowon grabbed Seoheon’s shoulder and stepped back. He immediately looked around then shouted reproachfully.
“Hey, it’s not just us here—what if someone sees?”
“Sometimes you freak out over weird things. Last time you kissed me whether students were watching or not.”
“Well, that was largely to shake off those weird kids.”
Thanks to that, people who sent gifts to Moon Seoheon completely disappeared. Besides, the place where we’re standing is none other than the hotel’s interior lounge.
Though it was late at night, a few people passing by could be seen. When his eyes met someone’s as he glanced to the side, Bowon covered his face pretending to rub his forehead. His face was heating up hotly at an expression that clearly showed they’d witnessed a lovers’ quarrel.
“Then?”
“Hm?”
“Why exactly do you dislike it so much? It’s been almost five hundred days since we started dating. Is it actually because we’re both guys that you don’t like it?”
According to Bowon’s words, in that world there were many people who viewed homosexuality quite negatively. Here it wasn’t common either, but it wasn’t a trend of hatred, so while he understood, he still wasn’t quite sure about it.
At Seoheon’s speech pattern that had suddenly changed to formal language, Bowon slowly closed his eyes. And only after a small wrinkle formed between his brows and he took a deep breath did he open his eyes wide.
“Let’s go upstairs first.”
He didn’t answer, but at the words to go up to the room, Seoheon suppressed the emotions he’d been anxiously harboring.
* * *
Just as he’d felt when seeing the hotel interior, the inside of the room was also quite antique. All the furniture placed there had an antique charm that naturally drew the eye, yet Bowon and Seoheon stood at the door for a while. Unlike when they were downstairs, tension rose at the strange atmosphere that emanated.
As firmly as he’d made up his mind, Bowon first grabbed Seoheon’s hand and took a big step inside. Seoheon just stared intently as if trying to excavate what Bowon was thinking.
Not wanting to plop onto the bed without washing, Bowon sat Seoheon on the sofa in the corner and sat closely beside him. Their hands remained intertwined.
“First of all, it’s not that I don’t want to do it with you.”
Seoheon, who had been looking straight ahead, turned his head to look at Bowon. He was sending a look asking what the hell it was about then. Bowon couldn’t meet his eyes, feeling his ears heating up for no reason, and looked out the window subtly.
“This body belongs to Yoon Taeho.”
At the words coming from Bowon’s mouth, Seoheon wrinkled his eyebrows and tried to get up. Though he sat back down because their hands were firmly held, his body was already leaning toward Bowon.
“…Don’t tell me it’s really because it’s not your body that it’s hard to go that far?”
“It’s not like that doesn’t exist, but it was something I’d already resolved after deciding to switch bodies with Yoon Taeho. We agreed to be careful with each other as long as we don’t hurt too much.”
“So?”
“First of all, you and I are minors. I hesitated a bit because it felt like I was doing terrible things with a young kid.”
“Ha.”
Seoheon twisted his lips as if absurd. He felt hurt yet angry that he’d been pushed away for such a trivial reason. Then at a thought that suddenly occurred, he grabbed both of Bowon’s cheeks.
“You’re not mistaken thinking I’m doing this because I like that body, are you?”
“Eh?… I wasn’t……”
Unable to continue his words, as Bowon lowered his gaze, Seoheon’s expression crumpled greatly. Though he didn’t say it, Seoheon was always anxious that Bowon might sometimes return to his original world.
At first, it was true that he’d wandered in confusion because his words about bodies switching sounded absurd, but now he liked only Bowon himself—no, he loved him. Even if he entered a body other than Yoon Taeho’s, he would naturally come to love him again.
Making him interested, making him curious about what he was doing in places he couldn’t see—Bowon was the only one who made him feel desire so intense his head hurt. When he was Yoon Taeho, there were no such feelings at all, so this heart was an inevitable matter he couldn’t help.
Does Bowon know? What Seoheon thinks every time he looks at him. What desires he has and how he wants to touch and hold him—the moment he sees inside his head, he might actually run away.
Clear and distinct black eyes are looking at him. He’d heard somewhere that human eyes are marbles that contain the soul. When he found those eyes pretty and at some point became aware of the instinct to want to see him cry, he realized the feeling of liking him.
Because he never knew he’d come to think that way, Seoheon was shocked enough to think he should distance himself from Yoon Taeho—no, that man. Even though he’d suffered from excessive stalking like that, to the point where he momentarily empathized with their violence.
It was a completely crazy thought. So not wanting to lose to the desire that made his head chaotic, he’d endured until now.
Not knowing such feelings, to just bring up morality so matter-of-factly—that was so like him that while he was happy it wasn’t that he disliked him, he also felt resentful.
Seoheon’s body was hot as he rested his chin on his arm draped over the sofa with a wrinkled face. Originally a guy with quite a lot of body heat who was warm even normally, but now contrary to his cold face as if blood was clearly surging from within, burning anger could be felt.
Somehow concluding that he was at fault, Bowon revealed even the last secret he’d tried not to mention.
“Actually, I sometimes share dreams with Yoon Taeho! I can’t even choose as I want and it just shows me randomly, so I can’t act carelessly.”
“What?”
At the expression asking what kind of nonsensical talk that was, Bowon clicked his tongue. Feeling wronged for no reason, he even shook off their intertwined hands as if throwing them off, then bolted up and shouted.
“Hey, do you think I don’t want to do it with you or something? I really came here choosing you while trading even the world I lived in! If things go wrong with you, I’ll have absolutely no reason for choosing this place, so isn’t it natural to be cautious about everything?”
At Bowon’s appearance shouting with even his ears turned red, Seoheon clenched his fist and tensed. Even in this situation, he thought he was cute, but at the confession-like content that came from his mouth, at the sparkling eyes that looked at him squarely, because he liked too much the voice that gently tickled his ears, various rising emotions welled up overwhelmingly, making him want to sulk.
Only after quite some time passed did Seoheon calm himself down and raise his head to look at Bowon. Even without forcing it, his voice was naturally earnest.
“Then setting aside all those problems like… the guilt you feel toward Yoon Taeho or sharing dreams, when you think only of me… can you sleep with me?”
“…Of course.”
At the firm delivery rather than a simple affirmative word, Seoheon swept down his face once, then reached out his hand and pulled Bowon to him. In the blink of an eye, two firm arms tightly embraced the waist of Bowon who had ended up straddling Seoheon’s lap.
“Really, just until tomorrow. After that, I won’t hold back.”
