It was when Eunha was snorting. Yeonjun suddenly spoke as if remembering something.
“By the way, hyung. This doesn’t count. I just came as a customer.”
It was a point he’d been curious about anyway.
“I don’t usually spend time separately like this with customers.”
When he replied indifferently, Yeonjun hesitated. Is that for real? Yeonjun, who fixed a clear gaze on Eunha, increasingly showed a deflated look. It was a face that clearly revealed he was mulling over this and that on his own.
If coming as a customer also counts as one time, does that mean he shouldn’t come to this place anymore? That’s a bit sad. He really looked sad, like someone thinking roughly those kinds of thoughts.
“…Fine. Got it. I won’t count it. Let’s do that date thing or whatever. Since we can’t really call this a date.”
When he reluctantly corrected himself, Yeonjun immediately brightened up. At the face that perked up with vitality as if asking when he’d ever been sad, Eunha somehow felt tricked.
What is this? Feeling lukewarm, he started touching the flowers again and asked.
“So, when are you going to do it? The date.”
“Mm. I’m thinking about it.”
“You need to think that hard about it?”
“I have to use it carefully.”
“Don’t be careful, use it quickly. Within a month.”
“…Really? A month?”
“Yeah. A month. Within a month.”
When he said firmly that he had to attach that condition, a chattering voice came from behind his shoulder. You’re joking, right? You’re just saying that, right, hyung? I have to go to school. Finals period is coming up soon… And there’s something I want to do during vacation. There’s still a month left until vacation, but if you tell me to use them all up in a month, what am I supposed to do?
When he ignored him, what seemed to be either persuasion or whining showed no signs of stopping. Had he always talked this much? It seemed like he’d become a bit more comfortable with him in the meantime. Or maybe he was simply just excited. Yesterday, after agreeing to participate in that bet or proof or whatever it was, he’d seemed to be in a good mood the whole time.
And Eunha pretended not to hear any of it. He didn’t know what kind of dreams he was nurturing to be looking ahead to vacation, but for Eunha, he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. That way he could feel at ease and meet men again or whatever.
Eunha, who had been consistently ignoring him, added a correction that yesterday should also count as one time. So there are nine times left from now on. Yeonjun again couldn’t agree and went on and on with words. Eunha waved his hand dismissively as if driving him away.
“We ate and held hands, so it’s a date.”
“Not hands, you grabbed my wrist.”
“Same difference.”
The feeling was similar. Roughly, he thought he’d received about as much elation as when he first held hands with Kim Jiwoon. The difference was that was an emotion he felt himself, while yesterday’s contact was vividly receiving Yeonjun’s emotions.
So was that why he’d felt strangely ambiguous for a moment?
And because he saw his past self overlapping in him again.
“…”
It was just as he was about to recall that inexplicable feeling he’d received yesterday.
Suddenly a presence drew near. Yeonjun, who had approached, crouched down right next to him. He looked at him thoughtlessly, and Yeonjun pulled over the arm on the side touching him. Then he casually grabbed the hand dirty with soil with his own hand. Boldly.
When he gazed with interest, going “Oh…”, Yeonjun, who was receiving that gaze, whipped his head to the opposite side. The earlobe of him propping up his chin was bright red. Eunha, who was looking over the piercing attached to that earlobe and the redness spreading up to his neck, said,
“What are you doing?”
“…You said it’s a date if we eat and hold hands.”
“But.”
“…But, yesterday I grabbed your wrist.”
“…”
“If I do it like this, I’ll count yesterday as one time too.”
He did it exactly as if he were being magnanimous. Of course, Yeonjun didn’t look at all like someone being magnanimous. If he had to define it, he’d be about someone filling their own selfish desires thinking it was an opportunity.
“Right. Thanks so much.”
This is absurd. Absurd… He was muttering inwardly when Yeonjun answered. “Right… you should be grateful.” His neck as he said that had turned even redder. Heat was transmitted from the large hand where he could feel every knuckle. That absurd morning passed like that. Time spent holding hands, sitting side by side looking at flowerpots, quietly sharing meaningless conversation.
“I don’t want to go to school.”
“Are you an elementary school student?”
“Hyung, your hands are so small and soft.”
“…”
“How can they be like this?”
“…You’re the one who’s big.”
“Ah. I guess that’s also true. I’ve been told a few times that I could’ve done well with piano.”
Piano. For a moment, he thought of that kid’s older sister. Come to think of it, does he know? That there’s that kind of connection between us? He resolved to ask in detail next time.
“Hyung, do you like things like concerts?”
“If someone tells me to watch, I watch well.”
“You said you like going to exhibitions.”
“Did I say that?”
“Yes. When we met at our museum.”
Ah. Back then. Eunha nodded. Yeonjun brought over even his remaining hand and slowly fiddled with the tips of Eunha’s fingers. It seemed unconscious.
“When I spotted you from far away back then… I really thought it was a dream.”
“…”
“Thinking, is this fate?”
“It was a coincidence.”
“Let’s go see something together next time. Whether it’s a concert or an exhibition.”
“Do whatever.”
“What are you doing this afternoon?”
“I’m going to sleep, go home and…”
Hurry up and go to school… When he spoke in a somewhat annoyed tone, Yeonjun hung a subtle smile on his lips. When he asked why he was smiling like that because it somehow seemed to have an unfavorable meaning, he readily shook his head with a suspicious face that clearly had something in mind. It became even more unfavorable, but Eunha didn’t ask twice.
After Yeonjun, who had been pulling futile and cute tricks, returned to school, Eunha did the cleanup and warehouse organizing in order. He was on his way out of the terrace, brushing off the dirt on his body. He saw a piece of paper placed on top of the table where Yeonjun had been sitting.
Eunha, who had approached and casually picked it up, suddenly raised his eyelids for a moment. He stood still and looked down at the picture contained in the paper for a long time. His own figure with his head tilted back slightly, basking in the sunlight with his eyes closed.
Every line was expressed delicately and finely as if with care, and the overall atmosphere was extremely gentle. It was as if a lukewarm breeze was blowing softly within the picture. The kind of picture where it seemed like a breeze was also rising within him, carried over from it.
…Was I like this? There’s no way I was.
“He beautified it too much…”
Eunha faintly let out a laugh, not knowing whether it was absurdity or some other emotion. Could a moment when he was clinging to sunbathing because he felt like he was dying of exhaustion be expressed like this? Was it okay to let him do something like this?
Feeling lukewarm, Eunha eventually changed his judgment. From next time, he shouldn’t allow him to draw pictures.
Somehow this seemed like… too much of a passionate and blatant love confession.
