In the living room as big as a palace in the sparkling penthouse in the city center owned by Gil Taeseo. Saehyeon, who had been clinging to the rug laid in front of the sofa, ignoring the furniture scattered here and there in the spacious place, rolled his body once more as soon as he was flipped over like flipping grilled rice cake.
Wasn’t it just changing positions? In the end, Gil Taeseo could only stare blankly at the floor rug part where Saehyeon had been lying. And there was one noticeable thing in that spot. It was small water stains dotted here and there. Judging by the position and price, it was exactly where eyes would be.
“…What kind of state is this again.”
The face imprint stamped like that had quite a funny aspect to it, but the man’s face was just frozen stiff.
What’s funny about it. Gil Taeseo’s mood was getting dirtier by the moment right now.
‘He cried?’
Lee Saehyeon was a person who would burst balls rather than cry even in an alley being threatened by some shitty alpha bastard. Even when being suppressed by Gil Taeseo himself, there had never been a drop of moisture on his fingertips. But now, why.
‘I definitely should have cleaned everything up.’
Lee Saehyeon was quite sensitive, so he couldn’t openly attach many people to him. Still, he always had people like Yoon Changwook attached to his side, receiving reports on his whereabouts or photos.
As time passed until before today, there had been no problems at all with Lee Saehyeon. At least according to the reports the man received.
In a corner he didn’t know about, something that would make him like that had happened.
Unable to hold back, Gil Taeseo reached out his hand again. He inserted his hand in the gap between the tightly prone body and the floor, flipping him over while simultaneously climbing on top of that body. It was to block the escape route by fitting the body between his legs. Then Saehyeon could no longer escape using the same method.
In the end, the method chosen to hide more was this. Raising his hands to cover his face and burying his forehead in the man’s legs.
Unaware that the firm thighs flinched and trembled, Saehyeon ground his teeth inwardly.
‘Why the fuck is he already here…!’
Saehyeon, who didn’t know Gil Taeseo had left work early because of him, was in an extremely defenseless state. Neither crying nor lying on the floor had been what he originally intended. It was just that the situation had turned out awkwardly.
It started with the readmission guidelines for Hanguk University that he checked with great determination. The joy at hearing he could be readmitted without taking a separate exam was brief. Saehyeon’s eyes stopped at the deadline.
‘Within 4 years… after expulsion or withdrawal?’
Having suddenly faced the passage of time, Saehyeon was in a situation where he wasn’t used to his own age. But still, checking was possible. He just had to enter the certificate issuance section and check.
And the result confirmed like that was.
‘It’s already passed?’
Right. The readmission period had already passed. So definitively that it was hard to attach expressions like it was close or unfortunate.
In this case, Saehyeon had to apply through regular or early admission, compete with kids much younger than himself, then start over from freshman year.
‘Fuck.’
The vitality that had been rising through his body instantly turned into a weapon. Sharp dismay slashed through his insides. Like that, his resolve crumbled as easily as it had been firmly made.
If someone else had seen, they might have said what’s so important about education. But to 20-year-old Saehyeon, that was like a kind of proof.
Evidence that if he made obsessive efforts for years, he too could accomplish something. And perhaps the first step of hope that he could live well like a human being, triumphantly.
‘Hanguk University Business? At least it won’t be completely useless.’
Didn’t his father say that too. Saehyeon still vividly remembered the sensation of his heart pounding. It was his father’s recognition, received for the first time in his life.
Even when he first learned that his education had become like cotton candy washed in a spring by a raccoon, the shock was considerable.
But at that time, there were many other shocking things. When he was desperate just to keep himself alive day by day, he wasn’t in a position to dwell on education alone.
In this situation, this thought also occurred. Maybe he just wanted to leave it as a last bastion and look away. Not properly looking into it and only looking at workbooks might have been in this context too. Because if he knew it couldn’t be completely reversed, it would really become too hard.
“High school graduate… high school graduate……”
Saehyeon eventually had no choice but to spend his daily routine in a dazed state. It was the same during the process of coming to Gil Taeseo’s house.
Today, if he was called to the office, he was thinking of smashing his dickhead, but fortunately it was the penthouse in the city center. Taking the long, long elevator up and entering inside, Saehyeon lay on the sofa and blankly began lamenting his situation.
“Ahhh! Seriously, what were you thinking…!”
Resentment toward his past self suddenly rose up. Even though he had ruined his life by doing crazy things, it was still himself. He thought that as time passed and he regained his memories, he would naturally understand and see the path.
But the more he went, the more he really couldn’t understand what he had been thinking and doubts arose. Saehyeon was no different from being all alone with no one to rely on.
Though the family had some means, in that house he was just an unwelcome guest and a square peg. Now that he was grown, there was no need to tolerate him anymore for social prestige. He had to survive in society alone.
A person with no one to rely on and full of defects with nothing outstanding, needed many things to live happily and triumphantly.
Among them, Saehyeon had chosen money as the most important thing. The best foundation a minor could prepare to earn money conventionally was education.
“With a kid attached at that.”
When surviving alone would be overwhelming, with a kid attached at that, what on earth were you thinking.
“Uaaah….”
Saehyeon screamed all sorts of shrieks and flailed, then ended up falling below the sofa. At least there was a thick rug laid below, but it wasn’t like it didn’t hurt. Physiological tears came out a bit from the pain.
He knew he should get up, but he didn’t have the strength to do so. Besides, the sensation of burying his face in the fluffy black rug was quite nice. In that it appropriately cut off breath while being disconnected from the world.
Considering the time it took for Gil Taeseo to leave work late from the office and come here, there was still time. With that calculation, he had been lying there stretched out, but who knew he’d come back this quickly.
Gil Taeseo even went one step further. When he wanted to bury his nose in the floor for a bit, he persistently flipped him over.
“Ah, just…! Leave me alone….”
The leg muscles touching his forehead wriggled under the dress pants. Saehyeon judged that as another attempt to flip him over and reached out to grab it firmly.
“Lee Saehyeon. Answer me properly, will you? What are you doing right now?”
“…What are you going to do knowing it.”
Saehyeon, who roughly wiped his eyes, suddenly raised his head. Since he turned his body slightly to the side, he made eye contact with Gil Taeseo directly. He was looking down with his body bent, having trapped his prone body between his legs.
Despite wearing a jacket and shirt, a typical intellectual businessman-feeling outfit, the robust alpha’s body didn’t diminish in its fierceness.
The penthouse in the city center or the rural country house. The large office and healthy body, bright future. All of it was what Saehyeon had aimed for. Saehyeon wanted to have all of that. If he could have it, even the alpha trait.
But Gil Taeseo considered such things trivial and ‘had’ been disgusted at holding them.
‘I really hate that kind of shit. Rather than living ugly like pig bastards fattened up with greed, I’d rather just live like this and die.’
The one who had said that. Saehyeon vividly remembered the young face of the man uttering those words.
For the current Saehyeon, it might be because his time as a minor felt relatively close. But Saehyeon knew that wasn’t the biggest reason.
If not, there was no way the small movements of the mouth or corners of the eyes of the man saying that, even the smell of the wind at that time, would be so vivid.
‘…Really? Then this would work. I’ll succeed like crazy and become rich, and you live as a free beggar.’
Saehyeon had answered crookedly, finding the confident face of Gil Taeseo saying that irritating. And at the same time… he also thought it was enviable and cool.
He had to. Because he was someone who contrasted too much with himself, always anxious, struggling, and staggering.
‘Fuck, even so, beggar crossed the line.’
‘A free person is a beggar. When that time comes, don’t curse me even if I pretend not to know.’
Jealousy and admiration were emotions close together. So they easily crossed over to each other, changed, and were mistaken.
It was like that for Saehyeon too. The person called Gil Taeseo was simultaneously an object that aroused anger and irritation in Lee Saehyeon, as well as an object of admiration and jealousy.
He didn’t want to show a pathetic appearance to anyone. Not to his mother, not to his father, and… not to Gil Taeseo either.
“Fuck off… please just fuck off for a bit.”
Things that had been buried for a long time crawled out taking the opportunity. Saehyeon was afraid of gazes. People, family. He was suffocatingly afraid of how the people he valued would see him.
But at the same time, he knew. That he was too worthless a person to be loved.
If weighing pride and life, of course it was the latter. So he made the choice and thought he had adapted well. But he realized that perhaps he had simply buried it.
Like the time when he only rummaged through workbooks without looking for the guidelines.
But this time too, that Saehyeon, Gil Taeseo relentlessly dug into.
“Show me your face while I’m asking nicely. You won’t show it?”
Gil Taeseo urged with a low voice.
