Grateful. Freeloading.
Leda knew too well what words would hurt me most. I criticized her for making people miserable, and she countered my criticism by calling me petty. The mudslinging between us continued like ping-pong, and then the class bell rang, so everything ended half-heartedly.
“Ha.”
I let out a deep sigh and called Leda. She answered right away, but her voice didn’t sound angry at all.
-Why?
“Why, you ask. Earlier during the day……”
-That? Is that a one or two day thing? We fight often anyway.
Leda and I fight often. But I thought today’s argument was a different kind from the usual ones, but it seems I was the only one who thought so.
“Anyway, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blamed you.”
-Don’t apologize, it makes the atmosphere awkward. Though someone as old-fashioned as you won’t obediently listen just because I say this.
Leda laughed loudly and asked what bad thing happened that was worth blaming her for. I pondered for a moment how to answer, then lowered my voice and asked her back.
“You knew from the beginning that Cheick likes you, right?”
-Why, were you sulky at me because of that?
Why didn’t you just say so, Leda answered casually and laughed loudly, saying it was cute. Why is that laughter I hear every day so grating today?
-Don’t worry about it. I’m not interested in him.
“I’m asking in advance, but I hope you won’t use him or hurt him.”
-Look at this. Do you think I’m that bad of a bitch? Unless he confesses to me, I won’t even talk to him, so don’t worry. Okay?
I wanted to ask Leda why she treats everything so lightly, but I held back. Because the words she hates hearing most are things like ‘light’ or ‘not serious.’
After finishing the call with Leda, I got a signal that a DM came, so I checked just in case, and the message sender was Alice.
Alice
Do you have a moment?
Sorry to Alice, but as soon as I checked the sender, I was disappointed. There’s no way Cheick would message me first.
What’s up?
Alice
Nothing big, just curious if you’re okay
I also want to apologize for being mean recently
Even I thought Leda was harsh today
I know you’re not a bad person
Thanks. I made up with Leda so I’m fine.
Alice is very kind, but she’s not someone I can open up to about various things. I cut off the continuing conversation to the extent of not seeming rude to her.
Alice
That’s a relief
I heard from Leda you’re a Passport fan?
Did you know that band is performing in our area this time?
Ah, I have a bad feeling about this.
I like Passport’s music but I’m not quite a fan
Not wanting to be put in an awkward situation, I lied to Alice.
I know about the performance
Alice
Really? If it’s okay, do you want to go together?
Sorry. There’s someone I’m going with.
In times like this, it’s better to reveal the truth than to lie. I don’t want to put Alice in a difficult position, but this is the best option.
……Though Cheick might say he won’t go to the performance because I acted so weird today.
Alice
Beat me to it. Anyway, good night. See you tomorrow.
Yeah. See you tomorrow.
After greeting Alice and absentmindedly scrolling through my social media feed, another DM came so I hurriedly checked. This time the sender was Sophia, and I was disappointed again. Why do I keep getting disappointed? I know better than anyone that I’m in no position to have expectations.
Sophia
Hi! This is the first time I’m messaging you. I thought it might be awkward if I sent something like this but I contacted you. If your mind is too complicated, you don’t have to answer. I was with Leda all day today, and she didn’t seem very angry. Rather, when we were alone, she even praised you and laughed. I think I’m interfering too much, but I hope you can think comfortably about today’s incident. Sorry. I went on too long. See you at school.
Sophia’s message was too kind not to respond to.
……I wish you were actually dating Cheick like I first believed.
Thanks. Good night.
After sending Sophia a reply and farewell greeting, I returned to the social media feed. A few minutes later another DM came, so this time I checked with a light heart, having given up hope, but my eyes naturally widened when I saw the sender was Cheick Rowan.
Cheick
I think I did something wrong after all. Sorry. I’m also sorry for apologizing without knowing what.
Oh my god. Why is he so kind?
I swear to heaven you didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, I’m the one who did wrong. If you’re concerned because I fought with Leda today, I’ll tell you I already made up with her. I really lost my mind and picked a fight with her like I picked one with you, so we ended up fighting.
Cheick
Are you okay now?
Not at all. I’m never okay when talking with you. I always feel on edge because I feel like I might do something.
Of course I’m okay
Cheick
I’m curious about something
Just ask
You’re not going to ask if I was the one who put the note in your locker, right? Please don’t ask. That note was written by me.
Cheick
I don’t know the name of the band you said you like
……Band?
Passport :->
Cheick
Ah
Thanks
Why is it cute that he’s thanking me? While I was pondering, Cheick left a greeting saying see you tomorrow and left. Feeling both regret that the conversation ended early and joy that we still talked, I wrote down a message I wouldn’t even send in the DM conversation input window.
I like you so much I don’t know what to do. The fact that I’ll be rejected if I confess to you couldn’t be more clear, but I keep losing my mind and doing weird things and saying nonsense. I think it’s because I want you to notice my feelings somehow. But then the relationship we’ve narrowed down will obviously become distant again. I just want to remain good friends with yo|
……u not.
I want to be your boyfriend.
Episode 3
In the morning when I went to pick up Liam, I used my smartphone to play Passport’s music and started the car. Last night I found out this band’s name and listened to some songs, and overall they were calm and easy to listen to, so not bad.
“Uh……”
When he recognized the identity of the song playing in the car, Liam was a bit surprised. Then he smiled brightly as if in a good mood and didn’t spare his praise, saying I had excellent song selection ability.
“Passport’s songs are good.”
“That’s a relief. Our tastes match. Should I go see performances and such with you from now on?”
At Liam’s question, I stalled for time, not knowing how to answer. If we went together once in a while that’d be one thing, but continuing to do so didn’t seem like a good thing for either me or Liam.
“Um, didn’t you say you have someone you like?”
“If things work out with them, of course I should go with them. But…… I don’t know. They like someone else.”
Liam said in a slightly skeptical tone. The person you like likes someone else. In that part, our situations were the same. When I mentioned that point, Liam smiled bitterly.
“Their feelings are too firm. So I should give up, but it’s too difficult to do that. Because they’re too good to me.”
“What kind of person are they?”
When I added that I wasn’t curious about their identity but curious about what kind of person they were, Liam looked at me for a moment with his mouth closed. With eyes that seemed to scrutinize a person.
“If you don’t really want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”
“No. I have so much to say that I was organizing it in my head. The person I like, where should I start? They have a good body.”
Body. An unexpected characteristic was mentioned first.
“If you’re saying that, they must be amazing?”
“Why, does my standard for a ‘good body’ seem high?”
Liam suddenly asked with a playful expression.
“Your body is so good that your standards can’t help but be high, right?”
When I asked that, Liam asked back if his body looked good.
“It’s the ideal body for a football player.”
“Rather than that, I’m just curious if it looks attractive in your eyes.”
“Huh?”
“If you don’t have any particular thoughts, you don’t have to answer.”
Saying he seemed to have asked a strange question, Liam put his hands clasped behind his head and listened to the music flowing.
“Anyway, what else stands out about the person I like……”
“…I think I found you attractive.”
Liam’s physique. I hadn’t thought deeply about it so I couldn’t answer quickly, but looking back, I think I did.
“You invited me to a game before. I think I thought that then. While watching you run on the field. Should I say it wasn’t just about your body but about you as a person? I think I felt you were attractive.”
“Ah.”
Liam sighed briefly and didn’t say anything for a long time. I focused only on driving, then glanced to the side when I had a moment, and Liam’s face was incredibly red.
“Don’t say things like that… to just anyone. Depending on who hears it, they might get the wrong idea.”
“I don’t think so.”
