# Chapter 29
“Were you trying to erase our bond… because of that person?”
Geonwoo’s face was filled with many emotions as he asked Jaehee this question. Displeasure and anger toward the person who interfered with his guide, worry for Jaehee. Numerous emotions existed inside Geonwoo. But hilariously, the one that shone brightest among them was expectation.
Right now, Geonwoo’s eyes glimmered slightly with anticipation.
‘It might not be Guide-nim’s intention to push me away. It could be that he’s trying to distance himself from me because of someone else.’
As if that were the truth, a swollen hope, stained with turbidity, slowly occupied Geonwoo’s insides.
If Jaehee gave an ambiguous answer or weakly denied it here, Geonwoo wouldn’t hear those words. The inflated expectation was ready to completely occupy Geonwoo’s mind.
Jaehee noticed this. He couldn’t help but notice.
Geonwoo’s face was filled with desperation, anxiously waiting for his words as if begging him to confirm that was the case.
Jaehee hardened his expression. If he misspoke here, Geonwoo would become hostile and try to attack Dohyun. If an unmanifested Esper, no different from a normal person, were to risk his life against the strongest Esper in the Center who already viewed him unfavorably, the result was obvious.
‘He would get badly hurt…’
Jaehee didn’t want to see the two people so precious to him fighting like that. He absolutely could not let that happen.
So Jaehee firmly set his lips and sharply raised his eyes. Suppressing the emotions that kept rising, he pretended to have a cold expression.
“Esper Choi Geonwoo.”
He called Geonwoo in a low voice.
Unlike moments before, Geonwoo felt Jaehee’s voice grow cold. He began to gauge Jaehee’s mood. It seemed as if something unpleasant was about to come from Jaehee’s mouth. Geonwoo’s face stiffened with tension.
Despite seeing Geonwoo like this, Jaehee coldly spoke out. He had to do this.
“About trying to erase the bond.”
Did he anticipate what was coming next? Geonwoo curled his large body as if he didn’t want to hear it and burrowed into Jaehee’s arms. He lowered his head and buried his face in Jaehee’s shoulder.
‘…I don’t want to hear anything unless you’re saying it’s not true. Don’t push me away. Don’t speak to me coldly…’
Geonwoo expressed these feelings with his entire body.
“Guide-nim… I’m in pain… My body hurts so much…”
Geonwoo mumbled that he was in pain as if trying to block Jaehee’s words. He begged for guiding.
But Jaehee didn’t grant Geonwoo’s wish. He needed to speak clearly.
“Trying to erase the bond wasn’t because of that person.”
“It hurts… I’m in pain, Guide-nim…”
Geonwoo kept repeating that he was in pain as if he couldn’t hear Jaehee’s words. But in between, Jaehee’s words settled distinctly.
“It’s not because of that person, nor because of anyone else.”
As Jaehee’s words continued, Geonwoo’s waves rippled like angry waves. Even though Jaehee was transmitting guiding energy to calm them down, the waves kept rising again, trying to tear Geonwoo’s body apart.
Jaehee continued speaking while struggling to suppress these waves. So that Geonwoo wouldn’t attack Dohyun. So that he wouldn’t attack other Espers. So that he could distance himself from Jaehee.
“I did it because I wanted to. Because I didn’t want to be bound to Esper Choi Geonwoo through a bond.”
It was a definite rejection. It was also a firm expression that he disliked him.
Those words hurt Geonwoo. They tore his heart to shreds.
‘…Lies…’
Geonwoo’s eyes painfully creased.
‘Don’t lie! Why are you trying to push me away with cold words?’
To reject the deeply encroaching sadness, Geonwoo strongly denied it. He didn’t accept Jaehee’s words. He had to deny Jaehee’s words somehow. He brought up questions that even he couldn’t find answers to for this reason.
‘Then why do you soothe my pain?’
‘Why did you cry so much at my pain?’
‘Why did you search for me crying at night?’
‘Why didn’t you erase the bond?’
‘Why… do you worry about me?’
Geonwoo tried to find all the contradictions. He thought it was impossible if Jaehee disliked him.
‘If you dislike me and don’t want to be bound by the bond… then whether I’m in pain or dying, you could just leave me, right?’
Tears welled up in Geonwoo’s eyes. Geonwoo denied Jaehee’s words, and denied them again. He struggled to push them away somehow.
Geonwoo wanted to ask Jaehee if what he was saying wasn’t right. He wanted to say that he knew how much Jaehee worried about him, so please stop pushing him away.
But the words wouldn’t come out. All the words just circled inside Geonwoo.
‘Why… can’t I ask…’
He knew the answer himself. Geonwoo was afraid. He was scared of the truth he would get after his questions.
‘What if Guide-nim’s worry doesn’t stem from feelings similar to mine?’
‘What if those feelings are… responsibility for causing the one-way bond?’
The assumption he’d tried hard to ignore occupied Geonwoo’s mind. It was a question he absolutely didn’t want to consider.
‘If the worry directed at me comes from guilt… then the words saying you dislike me and don’t want to be bound by the bond… might all be true…’
Then all the contradictions would disappear. The question he least wanted to ask might become the truth.
And that terrified Geonwoo. It made his body tremble violently.
Whether someone was making him push Geonwoo away, or whether he was worrying out of guilt—the end was a nightmare for Geonwoo. Because in the end, only he, abandoned, would remain.
‘Whichever it is… when I’m better… you’ll try to… abandon me again…’
It was hopeless. Jaehee was his entire world, but Jaehee kept trying to destroy that world.
Even though Jaehee must have felt his pain too… he didn’t seem to have any intention of stopping his words. He was trying to cruelly push him away again.
“Therefore…”
“Guide-nim!”
Geonwoo shouted as if to block Jaehee’s words. His calling out with a scream ended in trembling.
At the same time, Geonwoo’s body was in turmoil. Despite Jaehee’s suppression, waves sporadically jumped up. Through the skin touching him, Jaehee felt it vividly. Even with small waves, numerous wounds were forming inside Geonwoo’s body, making it difficult to calm them.
So Jaehee stopped speaking. He needed to push Geonwoo away only to the extent that the waves wouldn’t devour his body. And this was the limit. Any more would be excessive.
Geonwoo’s sadness was transmitted through the skin in contact. His pitiful trembling, the pain becoming increasingly moist, all passed over completely.
But it couldn’t be helped. He couldn’t let him search for reasons for being pushed away in others. He shouldn’t let him misunderstand that not erasing the bond meant accepting him. Especially in the current situation where no method could be used…
That’s why he deliberately chose words that would hurt Geonwoo a lot. Even knowing he would be hurt, he did it. I dislike people like you too! He hoped Geonwoo would back away on his own like that. There was no other way.
Jaehee bit his lip. He hated this moment when he had to wound Geonwoo’s heart while soothing his physical pain. He hated himself for creating this entire situation. Self-blame, hatred, resentment against himself… it all kept piling up endlessly.
“Guide-nim… I’m in pain… It hurts so much… Please, make it not hurt…”
At Geonwoo’s words about being in pain, Jaehee’s eyes became moist. Jaehee closed his eyes to hide it. He raised his voice and spoke to the examiner.
“Please call the healing-type Espers.”
Jaehee suppressed the emotions that were about to surge up and did what he had to do.
With his senses opened through guiding, and now that he was past the worst state, the abilities of healing-type Espers would be effective. Jaehee couldn’t heal the wounds that had already formed. The power of Espers was needed.
But,
‘Healing-type Espers…!’
Geonwoo had an adverse reaction to those words. His waves started to riot even more. Geonwoo was saying with his entire body that he didn’t want this.
He disliked Espers, and he disliked receiving treatment.
Now the only means he had to hold onto Jaehee was this painful body, and he didn’t want to lose that. If possible, he wanted to be in pain forever.
Geonwoo’s waves thrashed wildly.
When the waves oscillated too violently for him to suppress, Jaehee embraced Geonwoo’s neck and pressed their bodies even closer together. An even greater amount of guiding energy flowed into Geonwoo. But the massively rising waves didn’t easily subside. The tense tug-of-war continued.
It was then that a knocking sound was heard at the door.
Summoned by the examiner, healing-type Espers had come to the examination room. The three healing-type Espers who entered with indifferent expressions seemed to have heard about the general situation on their way, as they paid no mind to either the guiding energy spread throughout the room or Geonwoo’s sharp reaction. Though they were surprised by how intense his reaction was for an unmanifested Esper, that was all. They were people who had to face all kinds of situations while providing treatment.
That’s why they could pretend to be expressionless, but wait? Soon they doubted their eyes. There was someone behind Choi Geonwoo. A figure wrapped entirely in a large blanket. White skin. Light-colored hair. A familiar face…
‘Lee Jaehee?’
The glimpsed face was definitely Lee Jaehee. At first glance, Jaehee’s body appeared to be without a shirt. Confusion spread across the faces of the healing-type Espers. It was the first time they had seen Jaehee performing contact guiding.
Then quickly, they composed their expressions. Even a single expression had to be careful not to stimulate the patient.
But one person.
Only one person standing among them was different.
In his eyes, as he looked at Geonwoo and Jaehee, a peculiar light lingered.
The remnants of an ominous and murky emotion.
