After revealing my home address, I had to spend a long time grabbing my hair in agony.
“I went through with it…… Damn it.”
A sudden headache throbbed.
“Why did I do that? No…… really, why did I do that?”
I was muttering to myself while anxiously staring holes into Banye’s Disco chat that still had no particular response.
I encouraged him to come, but actually…….
“Aaagh……!”
The problem is I don’t even understand my own feelings.
I had enthusiastically egged Banye on to come to my place acting all nice, but what if he really says he’ll come? That’s the feeling I was having.
Why did I rashly tell him to come?
No matter how much I thought about it, I didn’t know why. My honest sentiment was that I had decided everything too impulsively.
So to be more honest, I wanted Banye’s sharp rejection. If he refuses to this extent, well, I shouldn’t encourage him anymore…… no, it would be an excuse not to be able to encourage him…… that was my true intention.
But…….
[Hwang Hyunjung] Then can I come today?
……Whether it was because I egged him on too much, or whether Banye’s situation was hard enough to be swayed by my irresponsible words, an answer unlike him came back.
I agonized. The fingers placed on the keyboard trembled.
But…….
[Aang] Of course lol Just text me when you arrive
[Hwang Hyunjung] Ok
……There was nothing I could do.
Separate from my trembling fingers, this time too my fingers betrayed my mind and put on a front.
Like that, I ignored my fear and in the end kicked away the last chance to refuse Banye myself.
* * *
After that, for about an hour. I kept biting my nails while just pacing back and forth in the house.
“……Should I clean the house?”
Not exactly clean, but not dirty enough to call it dirty either.
I roughly wiped the desk with a dry cloth, picked up a few pieces of visible trash and threw them in the trash can. And finally I ran the vacuum cleaner I hadn’t touched in about a week. There was surprisingly a lot of dust, so I thought it was good that I ran it.
“And the room…… should I give him this one?”
I muttered while opening wide the second largest room after mine.
There’s no bed, but this seemed better than the other rooms used as a closet or storage……
“It’s too close to my room though…… Well, it should be fine, right?”
I scratched my head and decided to give him this room for now, took out a few thick out-of-season blankets from the closet and laid them on the floor. Then it looked quite like a proper guest room, so I felt a bit relieved.
Even so, I thought that maybe Banye might not come today.
Because…… even while I was making all these (?) preparations, no contact came. Disco was the same.
However, the moment it passed 10 PM, the phone suddenly vibrated. I had a hunch it was Banye.
[This is Hwang Hyunjung. I’ve arrived.]
As I expected, Banye’s text had arrived.
I received that text and went out the front door with my heart pounding. And I called him.
Drrrr- Click.
The signal went a few times, and soon I heard the sound of him answering the phone.
[……]
But the other end of the line was taciturn, and I wondered if I had called the wrong number, so I tried speaking.
“Hello?!”
[Yes.]
Fortunately the call went through well. It was a bit more awkward than Disco, but even from the short answer I could fully recognize it was Banye’s voice.
I fiddled with the strings of the hoodie I had on while asking him.
“Ah, are you at the apartment entrance?”
[Yes.]
“Then, will you come up to the lobby? I mean…… there’s a lobby here……”
[Where is it?]
“Just walk toward the building and you’ll see it!”
And I went down to the lobby. I half-received the security guard’s greeting while continuously staring only at the transparent outside……
“It’s raining……”
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter, I muttered in surprise seeing the downpour. And Banye must have heard my muttering because he answered along with a sound like he was shaking something off.
[I didn’t get that wet.]
In that instant, I realized I had spotted the person saying that.
Someone came running in and stood at the building entrance outside the lobby…… somehow I felt like that person was Banye.
He was much taller than I thought. His face wasn’t clearly visible from far away, but the gesture of shaking off his hair and the noise heard from the phone roughly matched up.
I immediately came out of the lobby and called Banye.
“Banye-ya!”
[……]
And Banye turned to look at me.
As expected, it was that man I thought it was. Banye stared holes through me as I got closer, then soon swept up his bangs with a swoosh.
And I……
‘Wh-what……’
The closer I got, the more I was startled by Banye’s incredibly handsome face.
His pale skin stood out under the bright lobby lighting. Even being slightly wet from the rain pouring since earlier suited Banye very well.
Something, it’s a bit much to say this about a guy, but he gave off a subtly sexy atmosphere, making me feel like I shouldn’t keep staring…… Of course, I didn’t have weird thoughts, it was just that kind of atmosphere!
Also, Banye was much taller than me. He was tall enough to feel slightly intimidating standing side by side, yet Banye didn’t have that characteristic bent-leg impression of tall people. Rather, he was stable with broad shoulders.
That said, it wasn’t a heavy-looking body. The waist revealed because his clothes clung wet from the rain was slim compared to his shoulders. And even the hands that showed amazing gameplay…… they were somewhat large but the fingers were straight and beautifully handsome.
“Ba-Banye, right?”
The Banye in my imagination didn’t have this kind of face……
Banye looked at me quietly then affirmed obediently.
“Yes.”
“Sh-shall we go up……?”
I guided Banye while flustered to a ridiculous degree.
The worries of whether this was okay, whether this was right, that I had until coming down, tangled into a mess and faded the moment I saw Banye’s face. Because it was a face with enough destructive power to completely steal a person’s mind.
Thanks to that, a suffocating silence lingered in the elevator.
In that silence, I smelled the cigarette scent I hadn’t noticed outside. The smell was quite strong for having just smoked one or two cigarettes briefly, indicating that Banye had been smoking outside for quite a long time.
‘Did he smoke while agonizing about coming here……’
That must be it.
No matter how much it’s Banye, coming readily to a house of someone he doesn’t know well couldn’t be comfortable. Thinking that, I felt sorry for having been averse, even briefly, to Banye coming.
I observed Banye with glances containing half pity, half curiosity.
Then, our eyes met through the glossy wall surface. It was a gaze that seemed to ask ‘What are you doing?’—Banye’s characteristic slightly pathetic reaction came to mind……
The moment I was about to make an excuse without realizing it, the elevator door opened with a ding sound. Fortunately.
I opened the front door first and went in, holding the door for Banye to enter. Banye glanced at me and inside the house, then stepped in with a stride.
“Then I’ll intrude.”
“Ah, yes. Come in……”
Banye entered the house, and I was restless. But unlike me, Banye’s attitude was calm, making it feel like the homeowner had changed.
I tried hard to pretend to be composed.
“Did you eat…… dinner?”
“Yes, I ate.”
Banye quietly looked down at me, not knowing what to do.
“Don’t worry. I’ll just stay briefly and leave.”
“No, stay comfortably! You can stay a few more days!”
What a few more days!
After making this situation by saying just anything, this time it wasn’t my fingers but my mouth that was being frivolous.
Banye stared at me like that.
“You seem uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable? Haha. How could that be?”
I tried hard to shake my head at Banye who accurately saw through my feelings. Banye stared at me blankly with an unreadable face.
“You can speak comfortably, hyung.”
“Hy-hyung?!”
“You are my hyung.”
“Uh, yes. No, that’s true but……”
Banye is two years younger than me, but honestly from appearances I’m not sure if he’s even two years younger…… The ranker Banye in the game had something like charisma, but maybe because the real Banye is unexpectedly handsome, his presence is too big in a different way……
I struggled stupidly while trying hard to agree with Banye’s words.
“Ah, okay. Anyway…… I mean, you can stay as long as you’re comfortable. Okay?”
“Then, I’ll impose on you for a few days.”
“Yeah. Then, here……”
I guided Banye to the room I had prepared earlier.
“You can rest here.”
“Yes.”
“Ah, if you want to wash up, you can use the bathroom in the living room.”
“Then, I’ll borrow it.”
Whether being wet from rain was uncomfortable, Banye nodded and said so, and I nodded saying of course and guided him again.
Click.
After Banye entered the bathroom, I finally let out a silent scream.
‘I’m crazy, I’ve gone crazy……!’
I didn’t think the choice to let Banye into my house was wrong, but I couldn’t help being nervous.
‘When was the last time a guest stayed over at this house?’
I spun around the living room noisily then gulped down a glass of cold water to come to my senses. Of course, that didn’t bring back my departed senses, and just made my head throb dully.
Before I could even finish preparing my heart, Banye came out after washing.
I hurried over to Banye. Now instead of cigarette smell, only the scent of the body cleanser I use came from Banye.
I smiled at Banye pretending nothing had happened.
“Then, sleep well.”
“Yes. You sleep well too, hyung.”
But contrary to the calm words, that night, I didn’t sleep a wink all night.
