# Chapter 19
In a situation that made his head feel like it would explode, Seungmin finally raised one question.
“…Fine. Let’s say that psy— I mean, Guide Yu Junseo-nim did those things because he’s unskilled. But what does that have to do with you?”
“I think he needs to get used to guiding and find confidence first, so we decided to practice guiding methods together. Our matching rate is quite good, so he seems more comfortable with me than with other Espers.”
“Are you his parent? Why are you helping him? You don’t even have free time.”
“…I made a pretty big mistake, so I feel sorry.”
Dohyuk’s voice and expression clouded, but Seungmin was too distracted trying to suppress his anger to notice.
“What mistake? The mistake is that he’s a Guide, it’s God’s mistake… No. Hey. Don’t tell me you’ve agreed to be partners too?”
“No. Our ranks don’t match, and I don’t know how long I’ll stay at headquarters, so how could I be partners with Junseo? I’m already worried that he depends on me too much. But once he gets used to guiding, he’ll probably get along well with other S-class Espers too.”
Choi Gullible was actually concerned about Yu Junseo.
Why? Seungmin thought he’d be irritated if Dohyuk became partners with Junseo, but he was just as irritated by the current Dohyuk who thought he wasn’t qualified to be Junseo’s partner.
Should he say his feelings were battling between ‘What do you lack that you have to be partners with that guy!’ and ‘What do you lack that you’re not qualified to be partners with that guy!’?
Seungmin just opened his mouth and laughed, “Haha,” asking Dohyuk meticulously whether this Guide Junseo was really the S-class Yu Junseo, whether it was someone with the same name, and if not, whether it might be the name of a dog he’d found on the street. Finally, when he was convinced that it was indeed S-class Guide Yu Junseo, he shouted at Dohyuk.
“Fine. Live your life as you want, you gullible bastard!”
My friend, who used to fumble around whenever things weren’t fully ripe, now couldn’t even distinguish whether what he was pitying and embracing was a tiger cub or a kitten.
***
Getting off work was later than expected. Not for any significant reason, but because the dungeon data that Esper Yoon Ayoung was supposed to compile hadn’t arrived. Ayoung apologized to Dohyuk despite looking like she might collapse from fatigue at any moment. Knowing it wasn’t her fault but rather due to staff shortage, Dohyuk shook his head. He bought some simple late-night snacks for her, who would inevitably have to work overtime, and only after waiting a bit longer and receiving the data did Dohyuk gather his things.
This is bad. He was going to be late for his appointment.
Work was overflowing in various areas. It was to the point where claims that this was the third period of upheaval were gaining strength. After conquering the Gapyeong dungeon, Dohyuk was dispatched for an additional two weeks to investigate the Ganghwa Island dungeon, and he also hunted five B-class monsters in Paju.
Despite this, his condition wasn’t bad, strangely enough. Normally, this schedule would have driven him mad with insomnia and depression from the aftermath of pouring out his ability, but Dohyuk made a low, “Hmm,” sound as he looked at his healthy complexion. It seemed to be thanks to the guiding he occasionally did under the pretext of practice with Junseo.
Even though it wasn’t formal guiding and lasted at most 10 minutes, it felt like he’d taken good medicine, perhaps because the high matching rate didn’t lie. His mind, which was usually half-muddled, had never been this clear.
Of course, disadvantages also approached shoulder to shoulder. During guiding, desires that had only piled up due to his busy life and hadn’t been released would often suddenly and tactlessly raise their heads. Dohyuk gritted his teeth and endured. He couldn’t be disrespectful to Junseo again like that day, now in his right mind without being under the influence of drugs.
Humans are evolving creatures. He had become so accustomed to forcibly suppressing his desires that it felt like he might reach enlightenment soon, but Dohyuk endured with familiarity.
What was Junseo’s expression like when he first refused the partner request?
Facing a face filled with disappointment, Dohyuk expected their relationship would sour.
Ability users pretended otherwise, but the higher the rank, the higher the pride. Junseo had first offered to be partners with an Esper of lower rank than himself and was even refused, so it was a situation where anyone would feel hurt pride. While rejecting him as kindly as possible, Dohyuk expected the natural sequence of their relationship turning awkward.
‘If you don’t want to be partners… is it okay if I call you hyung?’
He meant he couldn’t have imagined Junseo would approach so meekly with his eyes shining like this.
Perhaps because he had been rejected once, his face, which slid his gaze as if watching Dohyuk’s reaction, looked younger than his age. His thin peach-colored sweater was so loose that his wrist, which escaped through the sleeve, felt even more slender than in his previous memory. His clear face staring intensely at him resembled a lost child, making it impossible for Dohyuk to look away.
‘Feel free to speak casually too.’
Looking like he would break delicately if any force was applied, when he pleaded like that, the words of rejection that Dohyuk had prepared got caught weakly in his throat. When he ambiguously nodded, the round eyes drew a thin eye-smile. He must be crazy. Even the closed corridor seemed to give the illusion of swaying with an untimely spring breeze. As if he had been waiting, his lips opened roundly saying, “Hyung!” and it unsettled Dohyuk’s heart. Something so prettily crafted being so soft as well was something he couldn’t handle.
*
As he exhaled a long sigh, the helplessly rising memories of the past flew away. Dohyuk put the additional data on the Jecheon A-class dungeon, received from Ayoung, into his document bag.
Although the hunting was over, they couldn’t find the core for over a week, so it was decided to put the conquest on hold. They were planning to dispatch a new team soon, and from the atmosphere, it seemed likely that Dohyuk would be part of the dispatch team. About five more days of fatigue. Moreover, he had to go to the laboratory tomorrow. Dohyuk frowned as his head already seemed to throb.
As soon as he came out of headquarters, the cold night wind enveloped Dohyuk.
“Hyung!”
At the same time, Junseo suddenly poked his face out of a car that had become familiar after seeing it a few times. He must have been staring at the headquarters’ main gate all along, as he called to Dohyuk as soon as he stepped out of headquarters. Even without smiling, his upturned corners of the mouth gave him a bright appearance, and when he did smile, it felt as if the deep night instantly brightened.
Junseo, who seemed to enjoy wearing white or pastel-colored clothes usually, wore a snow-white autumn sweater today, which made him look more pure than usual. Is it too strange to describe a man as lily of the valley? Dohyuk thought with a serious face.
“I told you we’d have dinner but I’m late. I’m sorry. You must be hungry.”
No matter how much Junseo told him to speak casually and acted clingy and childish, Dohyuk occasionally mixed in polite speech unconsciously. It was also more awkward because he had never experienced saying, “Let’s speak casually from now on!” and dropping formalities with someone in his life so far. Moreover, Junseo was an S-class Guide, wasn’t he? In official settings, Dohyuk, being of lower rank, should use polite speech in their relationship.
“I like waiting.”
“…No one likes waiting.”
“It’s true. Do I look upset now?”
“……”
At the gentle voice, Dohyuk blankly looked Junseo over. The beautiful eye-smile that he slightly gave to Dohyuk, while half-leaning on the steering wheel held in one hand, was impossible to get used to. Whether there were health foods they ate separately even in headquarters where everyone was withering from fatigue, or whether all S-class were different, Junseo’s face ripened like a sun-kissed apple with each passing day. The other day, looking at Junseo’s skin that glistened like a pure white lotus with morning dew, Dohyuk had unconsciously admired it inside.
To Dohyuk, who was admiring him no differently today, Junseo asked while changing gears.
“What should we eat?”
“What do you usually eat?”
“Pardon?”
Dohyuk caught himself after unconsciously letting slip his true thoughts, captivated by Junseo’s face.
“…I’m sorry. Your face just keeps getting brighter.”
Junseo, who had changed massage shops three times in the past week and finally decided to settle on the current one, replied with a pretty smile.
“I’m eating the red ginseng you gave me.”
“What?”
Dohyuk, who had no way of knowing what was in Junseo’s mind, gave a hollow laugh.
“And the pine nuts. What will you buy me next?”
His voice was still incomparably nonchalant.
***
The first time they ate together was during a weekday lunch break. Although judging solely by rank, Junseo was his superior. But when Junseo, who said he had no close older brothers and thus had a big fantasy about having one, started calling Dohyuk “hyung” and following him, Dohyuk, who was originally weak to people with a lot of aegyo, couldn’t properly push him away.
Relationships between people are meant to build gradually through mutual effort. Dohyuk didn’t have a good personality for building relationships. He didn’t dislike people, but he wasn’t the type to attentively take care of others either, and he had a lot of unnecessary worries. It was the natural order for people who approached Dohyuk to quickly fall away when he would never contact them unless they messaged first, and would firmly keep his mouth shut unless they spoke to him first.
Dohyuk thought that the biggest reason Junseo was able to approach him like seeping in, despite his wariness and strange fear of relationships, was because of a pre-determined expiration date.
