“Sollin’s, Sol’s Dating Advice! Today’s guest is the spicy garlic-flavored rookie boy group! BNCZ!”
No matter how many years you’ve been in the industry, an idol calling other idols to do variety shows and talk about dating advice—what kind of bullshit is this? What is the world coming to? Even while thinking the title’s obvious intention to satisfy personal interests was transparent, Jion bowed 90 degrees in greeting.
“Hello, we’re BNCZ!”
“I’m the leader, Ryu! Geon.”
“I’m Jinyeong.”
“Jion.”
“I’m Woojin, and us three are the same-age line. Please take care of us.”
“I’m the maknae, Eungi! Please take care of us!”
As soon as Eungi’s cheerful greeting ended, Sollin came in with her target already set.
“No, I actually studied up on the members a bit before we started filming! Our Woojin-ssi is…”
‘Our Woojin-ssi.’ She’s really locked onto her target.
“Your full name is Seonwoo Jin, but your surname isn’t Seon, it’s Seonwoo?”
Huh?
“Yes, it’s a compound surname. Seonwoo, Jin.”
“But you use Woojin as your stage name instead of Jin?”
“Yes. Since a single character is a bit hard to pronounce, and there are some seniors who have overlapping stage names.”
Ah, really? That was your setting?
After 13 years? 15 years? Jion’s eyes widened at this fact he was learning for the first time. Apparently it was something the other members all knew, since no one else looked surprised. Jion glanced around and felt ashamed.
Thanks to BNCZ’s awkward nobody days, they had an ambiguous relationship where they neither suffered together nor didn’t suffer together, so there was no deep affection between members. But to not even know his name properly after sharing a room for nearly 3 years. Jion reflected on his own indifference.
“Now then, with today’s guest here, let’s proceed with some dating advice! The first story is…”
Sollin’s Sol’s Dating Advice was formatted where they’d listen to dating concerns or stories from subscribers, and the guests would give advice and carry on a conversation based on their own dating experiences and views on relationships.
When female celebrities appeared, they’d establish concepts like ‘innocent appearance with unfiltered talk,’ ‘tough unnie’s tough talk,’ ’19+ thrilling level,’ and when male celebrities appeared, they’d engage in various pseudo and concept selling with things like ‘surprisingly a romantic type?’, ‘jealousy-crazed man,’ ‘forever-alone nerd guy,’ etc. BNCZ, who had done their homework, had also decided on their respective concepts in advance.
Ryu Geon, true to his serious image, was a mature and responsible adult man who was cautious yet all-in when it came to romance.
Jinyeong was a tsundere type who acted prickly but got jealous about everything and secretly treated you well without showing it.
Jion was a sweet and attentive man who was affectionate.
Eungi was a younger guy with lots of aegyo, energetic but secretly clumsy at dating.
While everyone had grabbed their terrible concepts, Seonwoo Jin’s concept was also impressive.
“What type are you when dating, our Woojin-ssi?”
“I’m… the type who gets easily swayed by the other person and is shy.”
“That’s totally unexpected.”
Who gets easily swayed and who’s shy? Shouldn’t it be Big Mac or something, not that?
He switched to acting and was doing well, which pissed him off, so he’d never once looked up his acting work, but it seemed he had some natural talent after all. Jion clicked his tongue internally.
On top of that, Sollin seemed to find Seonwoo Jin completely her type, as she was blatantly turning her body toward him. She’d even pulled herself close enough that their knees were lightly touching. And why did she keep saying ‘our’ Woojin-ssi so many times? Jion’s mood gradually soured at the obviously flirtatious exchange between the two.
Anyway, fuck this shit. What kind of crazy agency sends an idol group that’s only just starting to get attention—a male idol group at that—onto a dating advice program? Just because it’s a popular show, without knowing anything…
Jion fiercely criticized his agency, which only had good cash flow thanks to trot performances.
“Woojin-ssi seems like he’s dated a lot.”
“Haha…”
“What type of woman do you like?”
“Ah, I…”
“We’ll edit it for you, so feel comfortable, okay? Aigoo, Woojin-ssi.”
Ah, I want to say something. Jion clenched his fist. Since the appearance was already decided, he’d come mentally prepared to be used as a stepping stone for selling ‘pseudo’ content unavoidably, but watching this lovey-dovey bug act right before his eyes kept testing the limits of his patience.
And of all things, why did the first story have to be like this?
“Now, here’s the first story! Hello, Sollin unnie. I’m Cupid, 25 years old. Hello~ You’re a Loopy Cupy fan~ Unnie, I have a big concern these days. It’s because of my boyfriend I met in a game.”
“Ah…”
A boyfriend met in a game—you can tell without even hearing the rest.
As soon as they heard the beginning of the story, which Sollin read with her voice full of nasal tones, sighs flowed from Ryu Geon, Jinyeong, and Jion’s mouths.
“No, you three are already reacting like this when I haven’t even finished reading yet… Haha. I’ll continue. It’s been 6 months since I started secretly dating within the guild with my boyfriend I met in the game. We’ve met offline several times too, and our love deepened quickly so we ended up living together.”
“Ugh…”
The same-age duo held back their reactions at Sollin’s notice, but Ryu Geon didn’t spare his sighs.
“We’re living together so happily without fighting and playing games together. But one problem arose. Since we’re in a secret relationship, there are friends who are personally showing interest in me.”
“Huh? If they met through a game, how do they know the letter writer is a woman?”
Eungi’s innocent question interjected, but Sollin continued reading the story without stopping.
“There’s even a friend I’ve met a few times without my boyfriend knowing, but I really only treated him as a friend, you know? But that friend must have thought of me romantically because he tried to get physical. I accepted it because I was afraid our relationship would become distant if I refused. So now this friend misunderstood our relationship and wants to date publicly within the guild. I don’t want to break up with my current boyfriend. What should I do?”
Ah, what is this story even saying?
No one could continue speaking after the story that Sollin read with full emotion and vivid feeling. Their brains had stopped because such an absolutely hopeless mess of a story came out from the very first one.
Did stories like this originally appear on this show? Usually it was stuff like ‘my boyfriend doesn’t remember anniversaries’ or something.
The members looked at each other’s faces with hollow gazes, alternating between them. They were giving looks hoping someone would take charge and open their mouth first. But who could carelessly speak up about such a story? Among the variety show novices who’d been just reading the room for a while, Jinyeong, who regained his composure first, raised his hand.
“So… um. Let me organize the Facts first.”
Too flustered, Jinyeong organized the content while pronouncing ‘Facts’ strangely like a native speaker.
“So, the person who sent the story. She plays a male-oriented? game, right? She met her boyfriend there as a secret romance and is living with him, but that’s a secret within the game. But then, somehow, she’s been getting hit on a lot by guys in the game. I understood up to here.”
“Yes, yes.”
“But right now she has no complaints about her boyfriend and wants to keep seeing him like now? But she met another guy without her boyfriend knowing? She even got physical with him? And that guy thinks he’s dating the letter writer?”
“That’s right.”
“How can that even be?”
That’s what I’m saying. Jion clenched his fist and nodded. The other members’ reactions were similar.
“No, first of all, I have a boyfriend and even live with him, yet didn’t draw a line with other guys—that’s a bit offensive. If my girlfriend did that, I think I’d feel so betrayed.”
“Right! And if that guy thinks he’s dating the letter writer, doesn’t that mean there was some kind of emotional exchange beyond physical contact? I really couldn’t stand that either!”
Ryu Geon and Eungi turned serious and expressed their anger. It was excessive immersion. Jion quickly gestured to the two to regain their composure, but in the midst of this, an absurd answer that added fuel to the fire popped out. It was Slutjin—no, bastard—no, Seonwoo Jin.
“Mm… I think I can understand it a little. The letter writer’s situation.”
“…Why does our Woojin understand that?”
Jion felt very anxious inside and prayed that Woojin would give a persuasive, sensible, and somehow clever answer so he wouldn’t fall into the abyss. But as expected, a fundamentally trashy womanizer had different footwork from ordinary people.
“Since there’s already someone who stably likes me, it’s natural not to want to lose them. But then I also want to confirm my popularity with the opposite sex like this… I think it’s natural to have those feelings…”
“No, f—”
Jion held back the profanity that almost came out and grabbed Seonwoo Jin’s clothes from behind the chair, pulling him back. It would be edited anyway, but it meant to stop flapping around like a slut.
“Ah, Woojin is good at over-immersing too.”
Jinyeong cleverly summarized Seonwoo Jin’s absolutely hopeless comment.
“So, that’s the letter writer’s psychology. She doesn’t want to lose what she has in hand, but she wants to show off her appeal to the opposite sex. She wants to confirm her existence by appealing to the opposite sex.”
“That’s right. That’s accurate.”
Sollin clapped at Jinyeong’s logical summary. Jion also felt like applauding the skilled drift uncharacteristic of a variety show novice.
“Mm. When I hear it summarized like that, I think I understand the psychology a bit. Something like affection deprivation?”
Ryu Geon chimed in. Then Eungi tilted his head as if he couldn’t understand.
“How can there be affection deprivation when she already has a boyfriend?”
“Maybe she just likes herself being loved by multiple people? A bit selfish, self-centered, doesn’t know what social decency is, sexual desire takes priority over common sense judgment… well, it could be that type.”
As Jion said this, he unknowingly looked back and forth between Sollin and Seonwoo Jin. The fact that Sollin and Seonwoo Jin’s breakup was caused by mutual cheating was an open secret in the entertainment industry, but their promiscuous romance hadn’t even started yet, and it was too harsh a statement toward a civilian letter writer. Jion quickly summarized his words.
“First of all. The letter writer wants to maintain her current boyfriend, right? Then the answer is simple. Absolutely don’t confess to your boyfriend about the two-timing and quit the game. Just block the meeting window itself and don’t exchange contact—that’s all you need to do.”
The members applauded the cold and concise solution. Sollin also clapped as if surprised and asked.
“Jion-ssi, how should I put it, just looking at your appearance you seem like cotton candy, so soft, and your voice is incredibly warm, but surprisingly your inner self seems very solid.”
“…I really hate people who deceive others.”
Jion answered while holding back his bubbling anger. Although the two of them at this point in time hadn’t caused him any harm yet, just seeing the slightest hint triggered Jion’s PTSD button. Jion shouted, containing the anger boiling up from his core.
“Don’t deceive others! Don’t cause harm! Don’t do dirty things within the bounds of common sense! I hope you have a healthy and wholesome relationship!”
