He couldn’t even imagine it. In his days filled with a continuous stream of part-time jobs where it was difficult enough to take care of his own body, there was no way he could fit a child into that. Moreover, if he got pregnant or had an abortion, it would clearly interfere with his part-time jobs. For Wooyeon, who desperately needed money, not being able to work was one of the things that threatened him most.
“Will you be purchasing this?”
“Ah, yes.”
Wooyeon pulled out his worn wallet and rummaged through it.
“That’ll be 83,000 won.”
Wooyeon’s hand, which had been pulling out his card, stopped hesitantly. He’d thought it might be expensive, but he never expected a single emergency contraceptive pill to cost this much.
“Since it’s not covered by insurance, it’s a bit pricey.”
The pharmacist also seemed a bit embarrassed and smiled. Wooyeon lowered his long eyelashes and pondered for a moment. What might be just a somewhat expensive price for others was an enormous amount for Wooyeon. Since natural pregnancy wasn’t even a possibility anyway, did he really need to take it…?
However, as Jeonghan’s expressionless face suddenly came to mind, Wooyeon held out his debit card to the pharmacist. If he were to get pregnant by any chance and see that kind of face from Jeonghan, it would feel too miserable.
“The sooner you take the medication, the better, so you can take it right now. The water purifier is in the back.”
After the payment, the pharmacist handed Wooyeon his debit card and receipt while pointing toward the back. Wooyeon carelessly stuffed the receipt and debit card into his wallet and picked up the medicine.
Over 80,000 won for a single pill. Wooyeon, who had rarely spent such a large sum on himself in his life, felt sick to his stomach. Wooyeon stared at the pill blankly in front of the water purifier, then tore open the packaging and popped the pill into his mouth.
“Ah, I have a question.”
“Yes.”
The pharmacist responded with a kind smile.
“I’ve been taking suppressants, and even though they’re genuine, I keep throwing up… Is that okay?”
“Ah. By any chance, did you take a different product before?”
The only government-approved suppressant was the TH company’s suppressant. In other words, all other suppressants were illegal counterfeit products. Of course, low-grade ones like what Wooyeon had been taking were rare. Wooyeon slowly nodded without answering.
“It’s fine.”
The pharmacist smiled as if it was a common occurrence.
“When people who’ve been taking other products start taking the genuine one again, this happens often. Of course, it is illegal. Since the drug components are different, this kind of thing occurs. You kept throwing up when you were taking the other product too, right? That’s because you have a tolerance to that medication, and once you adapt, you’ll be fine. The effect is definitely different, so please make sure to take only the genuine product from now on.”
“Yes… Thank you.”
“Yes. Take care.”
Wooyeon bowed his head and left the pharmacy. Under the clouding sky, all the people passing by seemed peaceful.
On the flower trees planted in the apartment complex, the flowers that had been in full bloom were falling. In front of the entrance to his tutoring student’s apartment, Wooyeon’s heart became troubled by the white magnolia petals that had fallen scattered on the ground.
* * *
He’d noticed pink buds appearing on the cherry trees a few days ago, and before he knew it, the campus was in full bloom with cherry blossoms. They say the flower language of cherry blossoms is midterm exams.
「Teacher! Please give me some encouragement for doing well on today’s mock exam ㅠㅠ」
A smile leaked from Wooyeon’s lips as he checked the message. He was only checking his tutoring student’s message now because he’d been working part-time. It seemed that cherry blossoms signifying exams wasn’t limited to just college students. Even if he replied now, she’d only see it after the exam was over, so it seemed he wouldn’t be able to avoid resentment at their next tutoring session.
When he came to his senses, he was already in front of the lecture hall. After hesitating for a moment, Wooyeon opened the lecture hall door and went inside. The gazes that had briefly turned toward Wooyeon naturally found their way back to where they’d been before, as if nothing had happened. Each one of these ordinary things felt unfamiliar to Wooyeon. Was it because he’d changed suppressants?
“Sunbae.”
In a seat about midway through, Jeonghan was already there sitting down. Jeonghan turned his body and raised his hand toward Wooyeon. While Wooyeon hesitated, Jeonghan moved the bag he’d placed on the seat next to him and gestured for him to sit down.
Wooyeon let out a shallow sigh and eventually went to sit in that seat. Jeonghan smiled as he watched Wooyeon stiffly take his seat.
“Did you get home okay that day?”
He was talking about after their second time having sex.
“Yeah.”
“See, I told you I’d take you.”
“No, I didn’t walk far from there.”
It had only been a short while ago that he’d stubbornly insisted he wouldn’t get in Jeonghan’s car, but that became meaningless as he ended up riding in Jeonghan’s car after all. Wooyeon had declined Jeonghan’s insistence on taking him all the way to his house and got out near his home to walk alone. He’d never once in his life been ashamed of poverty, but somehow it was a scene he didn’t want to show Jeonghan. Even though Jeonghan had already seen it all.
“Your body, is it okay?”
Jeonghan’s fingertips lightly tapped the back of Wooyeon’s hand. In an instant, a sensation arose as if every cell in his body was awakening. Wooyeon looked at him while curling his hand away from Jeonghan’s touch.
“Y-yeah. I’m fine.”
“That’s a relief.”
Jeonghan rested his chin on the desk, looked at Wooyeon, and smiled with an enchanted expression. Jeonghan raised his index and middle fingers on Wooyeon’s desk and reached his hand toward the back of Wooyeon’s hand that had moved away. When the skin touched again with a light tap and Wooyeon flinched, Jeonghan looked at Wooyeon and laughed silently with a delighted expression.
“Aren’t you hot?”
“I’m not hot!”
When Jeonghan raised his hand and reached toward the neck of Wooyeon who was wearing a turtleneck, Wooyeon said while covering his neck. There was no way Jeonghan didn’t know what Wooyeon’s skin under the turtleneck looked like. Jeonghan was undoubtedly enjoying watching his reactions. While looking at Jeonghan’s laughing face, Wooyeon glared at him without saying anything.
“I’m going to move seats.”
“Ah, I won’t do it anymore. I’m sorry.”
When Wooyeon picked up his bag and was about halfway out of his seat, Jeonghan smiled and stopped him. Wooyeon sighed and sat back down. Just then, Wooyeon’s eyes met with one of the two female students who were whispering while looking this way from a little distance away.
What’s this? While Wooyeon was wondering, the professor entered the lecture hall. As soon as he entered, the professor called roll, and class began without a single joke. Knowing that he had far less time to study than other students, Wooyeon tended to pour out the maximum concentration he could muster during class time.
During this, Wooyeon slightly turned his head toward Jeonghan at the pen that was tapping on top of his textbook. Jeonghan made a disappointed expression toward Wooyeon. Then he wrote a note in the corner of his own textbook.
「You keep looking at me but don’t notice at all.」
There was nothing to say. Wooyeon just blinked while looking at what Jeonghan had written, then turned his head again to look at the professor. Jeonghan tapped Wooyeon’s textbook again.
「Want to eat together after this?」
This time too, he wanted to ignore it, but his attention kept being drawn to Jeonghan.
「Let’s talk later.」
Wooyeon also carelessly scrawled some writing in the corner of his textbook. He could feel Jeonghan’s gaze continuously, but Wooyeon tried hard to ignore it and focus on absorbing the professor’s words.
“Don’t forget to submit your group project presentation materials and report to my email by next week.”
When it was time for class to end, along with the professor’s farewell, the students’ greetings poured out. Among the students rising from their seats in unison, Wooyeon also stood up while gathering his bag.
“Let’s eat something delicious. Is there anything you want to eat?”
As if he’d been waiting, Jeonghan also stood up from his seat following Wooyeon. Wooyeon felt strange for feeling excitement over just these words. He couldn’t understand himself for feeling such emotions. Wooyeon quietly raised his eyes to look up at Jeonghan. That’s when it happened.
“Excuse me…!”
It was that female student whose eyes had met with Wooyeon’s before class started. She held out a convenience store cup of coffee. To be precise, she held it out toward Jeonghan. On top of the cup coffee lid was a cute post-it note that probably had her contact information on it.
“Ah, thank you.”
Jeonghan accepted the cup of coffee from her as if he was used to it. Jeonghan’s smile and kindness weren’t given to just anyone in particular, and she wasn’t a special exception either. Perhaps her tension eased a bit at Jeonghan’s gentle face, as she also smiled awkwardly and bowed. As she quickly turned around and ran toward where her friend was, a fresh emotion like embarrassment could be felt from her. Wooyeon suddenly felt nauseous.
“Let’s go too. What do you want to eat?”
“…I don’t really feel like it.”
“Eat anyway.”
Jeonghan reached out his hand and lightly squeezed Wooyeon’s shoulder. Startled, Wooyeon moved away from Jeonghan and watched his reaction.
“…Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
He’d expected him to be upset, but Jeonghan just smiled without saying much.
When Jeonghan and Wooyeon came out of the lecture hall, Yoon Wiseung and Jang Hyeonjun, who had been waiting in the hallway, greeted them.
“Sunbae! Wasn’t it fun that day?”
“Ah…”
“I told you, sunbae doesn’t like those kinds of places.”
Before Wooyeon could answer, Jeonghan spoke. Yoon Wiseung and Jang Hyeonjun had left the club first without saying anything and hadn’t sent any messages, so they seemed to think it hadn’t been fun.
