“Uh… you’re back now?”
The human who had been half-rising awkwardly closed the book he’d been reading and looked up at Sarka.
In the late-night living room, only a small lamp placed on the table in front of the sofa was lit, dimly illuminating just that area. The human, who had been curled up sitting with a blanket over his knees, seemed to have intended to wait in the living room without sleeping until Sarka arrived.
Sarka gazed quietly at the small human in worn nightshirt that had turned yellow in the pale light.
He mustn’t rush. When deceiving people, you must always build quietly at a slow pace, erecting a tower that will never crumble.
Sarka silently turned and headed for the room.
The human who had been staring intently at Sarka gathered up the few books, old blanket, and lamp that had been spread out on the table and followed him in.
As Sarka unpacked, his nape tickled from the gaze stealthily observing him while pretending to organize the desk.
The nape of his neck where that human’s gaze touched heated up sensitively as if someone had licked it. Sarka felt his pulse quickening and desperately reined in his tension.
Ruslan gazed at Sarka unpacking with a tired look and putting away his coat, then cautiously spoke to him.
“…You must have been really busy.”
Sarka glanced back at Ruslan and answered dryly.
“…A little.”
His voice, sunken with fatigue, was low.
Ruslan hesitated, wavering over something.
Sarka glanced at the title of the book the human was holding, then added matter-of-factly.
“But I did read it.”
“!”
Ruslan stopped and looked up.
Sarka took out a book from his bag, placed it on the desk, and slowly settled into the chair.
Ruslan hesitated for a moment, looking at Sarka. Sarka was buried against the back of the chair, quietly facing Ruslan.
Ruslan stared at Sarka, then cautiously asked.
“…Then… want to quiz each other?”
Sarka docilely nodded. “You first.”
Ruslan quietly walked over and sat at the opposite desk, facing Sarka.
Even at a glance, his face was so haggard and sunken with fatigue that Ruslan had thought he shouldn’t even bring up the quiz game, but for some reason he was concerned that Sarka had so readily agreed to play.
He hoped he hadn’t made him even more tired by making him read the book on top of being so busy.
Ruslan fiddled with the bookmark sticking out from between the pages, lost in thought for a moment, then chose an easy question.
“Then I’ll start first. Um… What was the name of the woman the hero Raffgang loved?”
It was a question you could answer just by skimming the book. As expected, Sarka answered without hesitation.
“<Helena.>”
“Right. Your turn.”
Ruslan nodded. Sarka thought for a moment, then similarly chose a light question.
“Where did the hero Raffgang fight his first battle?”
“<The Plains of Ainas.>”
Ruslan also answered immediately without hesitation. Sarka nodded.
“Your turn.”
Ruslan made a thoughtful expression again.
A few more similar questions were exchanged.
When Ruslan, who had noticed that Sarka had read the book quite thoroughly, slightly raised the difficulty of the questions, Sarka’s questions also began to get gradually harder.
The time it took for the two boys to answer grew slightly longer, and the time it took to choose questions also gradually increased.
While fumbling through the answers to the questions Ruslan threw at him, Sarka thought it was still difficult to guess the purpose of this game.
Sarka, who had been lost in thought for a moment gazing at Ruslan, slowly chose a question.
“…Before the final battle, what was the line Raffgang said when accepting the deal proposed by the enemy general who had been a close friend?”
Ruslan furrowed his brow for a long while as if searching his memory, then answered slowly.
“…<What’s the purpose of this game? I can’t figure you out.>”
Sarka, who had been staring, nodded. “Your turn.”
Ruslan tapped the desk with his fingers for a long while, lost in thought, then asked in a clouded voice.
“The maid who admired the hero… what was the line she monologued while watching the hero who had fallen asleep after the Battle of Ainas?”
Sarka thought for a long while, but his memory was unclear.
It wasn’t a particularly important scene or one that left a strong impression.
After thinking for a few breaths, Sarka soon gave up and muttered.
“…I don’t remember.”
Ruslan smiled faintly.
Ruslan stood up from his seat, put the book on the bookshelf, glanced at Sarka and said.
“Look it up later.”
Ruslan quietly drew back the bed curtain and crawled inside.
Sarka stared at Ruslan settling into place inside the bed, then slowly turned his head.
Sarka, who had slowly reached out his hand, opened the book.
Sarka, who had been flipping through the pages searching his memory, soon found the scene Ruslan had asked about.
It was a passing scene, so it wasn’t a page he had read carefully.
Sarka fumbled through the paragraphs and found the maid’s monologue. They were ordinary sentences, so they didn’t seem to have stuck in his memory.
Sarka slowly read the maid’s short monologue again.
<…Did you eat well?
Did you sleep peacefully?
Was there nothing difficult?
Were you not hurt?
I only wish for you to rest comfortably, even for just a brief moment.
That’s all I want.>
After a long while, Sarka slowly closed the book.
After washing up and returning, Sarka turned off the light.
When he drew back the bed curtain and went inside, a clouded voice leaked out from the darkness.
“Good night, Sarka.”
Sarka hesitated for a moment while holding the curtain, but in the end couldn’t open his mouth and quietly closed the curtain.
The sound of Ruslan’s curtain closing was heard.
The room became quiet.
After staring up at the canopy in the darkness for a long while, Sarka closed his eyes.
The human in his dream was sitting in front of a yellow lamp reading a book.
It had been so long since he’d had a dream that wasn’t a nightmare that even in the dream, Sarka felt a strange sensation.
It was a silent dream where all that happened was the small human curled up on the sofa occasionally turning pages.
Looking at the yellow-glowing profile of the human waiting for him, Sarka thought of the sentences in that book.
Strange emotions he had never felt from human literature ravaged his chest.
Sarka wanted to walk forward, dig out and grasp the sentences that human had chosen.
It was a wretchedly intense impulse.
But the moment he moved, he didn’t want that human to turn their head and look straight at his face.
Sarka just stood in the darkness, quietly gazing at the small human in the yellow light.
It was a dream of watching like that for a very long time. Relieved by the darkness that hid his existence.
The next morning, Ruslan cautiously drew back the curtain.
Sarka seemed to be sleeping soundly, as no sound came from beyond the curtain.
Ruslan tiptoed out, put on his shoes and gathered his clothes.
When he came in with breakfast, only then did a rustling sound come from beyond Sarka’s curtain.
Ruslan set down the plate on the table and stole a glance at Sarka’s curtain being drawn back.
Still, perhaps because he had slept well last night, Sarka’s complexion looked much better than yesterday.
Last night he had really looked haggard and prickly, like a sick person.
Ruslan thought Sarka seemed to have gotten thinner during his overnight stay away.
He was so handsome that even when he lost weight, his face still retained a poignant beauty, but it was pitiable that he had no vitality.
Had there been some difficult work?
He wanted to ask, but it seemed like it would be too personal a question.
While Ruslan hesitated, Sarka silently got up with an expressionless face and went into the bathroom.
Listening to the sound of water while sitting still and waiting, soon Sarka came out after washing up and sat down across from him.
Ruslan silently picked up some bread.
Sarka also silently picked up a knife.
A meal in familiar silence began.
Ruslan secretly stole glances at Sarka slowly emptying his plate.
Sarka didn’t eat much when he was tired. When something bothered him or when he was displeased, the amount he ate also noticeably decreased.
However, today’s Sarka, though his face looked a bit languid, didn’t leave his seat and calmly emptied his plate.
Ruslan felt a bit relieved at the sight of Sarka chewing his food slowly but steadily.
The fact that Sarka was eating his regular amount meant he was in a stable state without anything particularly bothering him.
He had been worried that something might have happened during the overnight stay, but seeing him eat, it didn’t seem to be to the extent that his nerves were frayed.
Thank goodness.
The relieved Ruslan also diligently emptied his plate.
It was around the time both plates were empty and the dessert plates were almost cleared.
“…You won.”
At the voice that suddenly broke the silence, Ruslan’s head snapped up.
“Hm?”
When the flustered Ruslan blinked without understanding, Sarka slowly added.
“…The game.”
Only after hearing the languid voice did Ruslan realize Sarka was talking about the quiz game they’d played before bed yesterday.
“Ah… oh.”
It was the first time Sarka had initiated conversation during a meal, so surprised and curious, Ruslan answered hesitantly and cautiously faced Sarka.
Sarka quietly picked up his coffee cup and looked at Ruslan.
“Tell me what you want.”
Ruslan’s eyes widened. Sarka was silently drinking his coffee, waiting for Ruslan’s answer.
Uh… come to think of it, the loser was supposed to grant the winner one wish.
Ruslan hesitated.
He had been concerned that Sarka had to be in a hostile environment during his overnight stay, so he had proposed it hoping that reading the book might help him turn his attention elsewhere and rest even for a moment.
Ruslan too, in his childhood, used to bury his nose in books and escape reality for a while, avoiding hostile villagers and bullies.
While concentrating on the book, you could deceive yourself into thinking that what was happening in reality was a story from a distant country.
Even if it was meaningless escapism, when that was the only option, it was also the most effective means of enduring the passing time.
He didn’t know if it would be the same for Sarka, but he’d wanted to give him at least one excuse to escape reality. He didn’t know how much use it had been though.
Since he hadn’t thought of anything particular to demand if he won, even after winning, nothing came to mind. Ruslan felt awkward about the right he’d suddenly gained.
Sarka was still slowly drinking his coffee, waiting. Somehow he felt pressured that he needed to answer before that cup was empty.
Ruslan anxiously wracked his brain and worried, then licked his lips once and asked cautiously.
“…Will you… go out with me?”
Sarka silently looked at Ruslan. Ruslan hesitated slightly, then added.
“This Sunday… after lunch.
The place… I’ll think about it.”
Sarka tilted his coffee cup for a moment, staring at Ruslan. Ruslan waited anxiously.
After a moment, Sarka set down the empty coffee cup and answered.
“…Okay.”
Sarka, who had readily accepted the proposal, put down his cup and stood up from his seat.
Ruslan felt his heart grow urgent with the task that had suddenly descended upon him as he cleared the plates.
Where should we go?!
It was the first outing with Sarka, just the two of them.
Ruslan, like a boy who had somehow succeeded in asking for a first date, fell into agonizing deliberation that felt like it would split his head open, tangled with both anticipation and fear.
Where on earth should I go with him and what should we do so it won’t be awkward.
