“Executive Director, do you have to go in right away?”
Though he’d come because he was worried about him, probably even at this very moment there were many people looking for Ganghyuk. Perhaps Jaehyun was tearing his hair out.
Thinking of him, it was right to quickly send Ganghyuk back to work, but he felt a bit regretful. When your body hurts, does your heart become weak too?
Since things had turned out this way, he felt greedy to spend time together outside, even if just for an hour.
“Why. Do you not want to go back?”
Ganghyuk turned around with his arm on the steering wheel. Ian promptly nodded his head.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been outside at this hour, so I’m excited.”
Ganghyuk, who had been tapping the steering wheel with his fingertips, changed gears and reversed. Just as Ian’s complexion was darkening, thinking he was going to go home.
“Should we go visit your grandfather.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
He’d only thought about spending time with Ganghyuk and hadn’t thought about his grandfather, so Ian’s face brightened like a full moon.
“I’d love to!”
As if he would refuse to go visit his grandfather. When Ian excitedly even stomped his feet lightly, Ganghyuk’s face also softened gently.
ლ
“……Grandfather, I’m here.”
Ian bent his knees slightly and greeted his grandfather. Though the weather was hot, there were many trees here so it wasn’t that hot. Above all, whenever the wind blew, the leaves rustled against each other, making a gentle sound.
Between the lush trees, nameplates with the names of the deceased were placed. After greeting him, Ian looked at his grandfather’s name for a long while with sad eyes.
Sorrow was the lot of those left behind. Especially since grandfather’s end had been so sudden, there had been no time to prepare his heart.
He’d wanted to know who the culprit was, but after finding out, his heart became even more troubled. That’s why he still hadn’t told his grandfather. No matter how much of a scoundrel, he was grandfather’s only son.
How sad would he be to learn that his son had killed him, blinded by money? Or perhaps he already knew.
Since it was a place where artificial flowers couldn’t be placed, he set down the bouquet of fresh flowers he’d been holding in his arms. Ganghyuk had bought them for him.
Ganghyuk silently kept Ian company. He too gazed with unfathomably deep eyes at the tree that came up to Ian’s waist, the round crown, and Yeon Cheolho’s name.
Ian sniffled and tried to smile brightly as he looked up at Ganghyuk, then looked at his grandfather’s nameplate again. As if his grandfather were really inside it.
“Today I came with Ganghyuk hyung. You remember, right? You used to give him tons of free soup rice when he was young.”
The good deed grandfather had done had come full circle to save Ian’s life. Ganghyuk had not only repaid the debt in his place but also protected Ian, and now loved him generously.
“This wound is nothing. I’ve been studying cooking really hard lately. You know how you got into cooking while running the soup restaurant? If you’d seen me, you would have been so surprised. I can cut better than you now, grandfather.”
Though he was talking in a bright voice, Ian’s eyes were brimming with tears. Ian rubbed away the tears that finally began to spill with the back of his hand.
It still hurt too much. Living with Ganghyuk was happy, and there were many things to smile about in daily life, but when he thought of his grandfather, a corner of his heart still collapsed.
Knowing that he couldn’t turn back time unless he was a god, he still kept having regrets.
If only he’d woken up a little earlier that day, or no, if he’d gone to the market with his grandfather in the first place……
Once thoughts continued like a chain, Ian would just feel like a sinner and sink endlessly into sadness.
Whenever he earned money, he felt regretful. Ian had never worked a part-time job in his life.
Occasionally when neighborhood elders gave him pocket money saying he was cute, he’d save that money and give his grandfather presents on his birthdays, but he’d never given his grandfather a large enough sum to surprise him as pocket money.
That was because Ian had only just graduated from high school, and he hadn’t known that his time with his grandfather would end so suddenly.
He’d only vaguely imagined that someday he’d become a respectable member of society and let his aging grandfather live in luxury so he wouldn’t have to struggle running the soup restaurant anymore.
He should have been devoted to the time spent with his grandfather right now, not drawing such a distant future. He’d thought his grandfather would remain by his side forever.
“……Grandfather, I miss you so much. Can’t you come find me even in a dream?”
Though he had many nightmares, he’d never actually had a dream about his grandfather. That’s why he might have asked Ganghyuk even more. Wondering if perhaps his grandfather wanted the person who killed him to be punished.
But even though his father had gone to prison, his grandfather still hadn’t come to visit Ian. Occasionally he heard his grandfather’s voice like an auditory hallucination, but that was all.
“I shouldn’t cry……”
Thinking that if his grandfather were here, he’d be sad, he tried to keep holding back his tears, but he’d reached his limit now. With tears welling up so much he couldn’t see his grandfather’s name, Ian buried his face in his palms.
Large teardrops flowed down incessantly. A large hand patted his shoulders that heaved greatly. Ganghyuk, who wrapped his arm around Ian’s shoulders, opened his lips quietly.
“It’s better to cry than to force yourself to hold it in. That’s how the lump gets resolved.”
Though he himself had almost never shed tears, his comforting voice was calm.
“Grandfather, it’s me, Ganghyuk.”
Even as a child, Ganghyuk had never spoken to Cheolho this way. Back then, he’d been as sensitive as a wounded beast. Even though he’d gotten meals from Cheolho many times, he couldn’t say thank you.
Even when he wanted to speak, he’d hesitate as if a thorn was stuck in his throat. Each time, Cheolho would smile benevolently as if he understood all of Ganghyuk’s feelings and would stroke his shoulder or head.
It was the first warm touch he had ever felt. Even his biological parents had abused and neglected him. Other people in the neighborhood also ostracized him, saying he was gloomy despite being young.
The only person who made space beside him was Cheolho. That’s why Ganghyuk was able to grow up with at least minimal humanity.
If he hadn’t met Cheolho, he would have either starved to death or, even if he survived, lived like a beast with only malice filling his heart even after being taken in by Chairman Tae later.
Because Cheolho showed him that if he endured, the world was worth living in, Ganghyuk could hold so much in his hands like now.
And the greatest gift Cheolho left him was Ian. Ganghyuk pulled Ian into his arms. Ian, who had wrapped his arms around Ganghyuk’s neck, cried like a young child.
“Hueong, Grandfather…….”
“I’ll protect Ian well. So don’t worry.”
What kind of eyes would Cheolho be looking at the two of them with now? Would he say it was fortunate that his childhood connection saved his grandson, or would he curse him as a thief?
Even when he tried to imagine, the Cheolho in Ganghyuk’s memory was warm and kind, making his eyes gently redden. He felt a bit of regret.
It would have been better if he had visited Cheolho while he was alive. Perhaps he could have prevented Cheolho’s death. Ian wouldn’t have been dragged away by Hongdo either.
But the past must be left as the past. The assumption of “what if” becomes a shackle that binds oneself, making one live in endless regret.
Yeon Cheolho was already dead, and Ian was by his side. There was one thing Ganghyuk had to do from now on. Adding the guilt about Cheolho, cherishing and loving Ian.
“Kid.”
Startled by the suddenly limp body while sobbing, Ganghyuk called Ian’s name. Perhaps from crying so much, Ian had fainted.
Ganghyuk urgently lifted Ian’s body. Before turning back, he bowed his head toward Yeon Cheolho’s nameplate and headed to the car.
He started the car, turned on the air conditioning, and sat in the back seat holding Ian. He found a water bottle, held water in his mouth, and gradually passed it to Ian.
Ian, who had swallowed the water gulp by gulp even while unconscious, opened his eyes shortly after. Confusion appeared in his tear-stained eyes at the suddenly changed environment.
“You fainted while crying. Does anything hurt? Is your chest okay?”
