I was annoyed at myself for being so eager to make excuses at his single remark.
Cesare and Lionel. In this relationship, I was always thoroughly the weaker party and had designated myself as such. If you think it’s my fault that things turned out this way, that’s not it either!
It’s because of that damn Addiction Magic that my body and mind move that way. That’s why I’m groveling and bowing my head to this piece of trash.
‘If not for that, I would’ve dumped someone like you right away and left somehow, Cesare Yanox.’
“I got a recommendation letter, so… kheung. Can I come along…?”
The surface of my eyes looking at him already had water droplets slightly forming, but I tried hard not to blink. If I closed my eyes, the droplets would definitely smear and flow down.
“No.”
At his firm rejection, my insides and pride came crashing down. I quickly grabbed his arm and asked urgently.
“Do you… hate me?”
“……”
At his reluctance to answer readily, the moisture in my eyes grew heavier. Eventually, my vision became hazily blurred by the plump water droplets.
“Do you really hate me…?”
You like my money. Tell me you like me, quickly. Even a lie is fine.
There’s no way Cesare, who studies well, is smart, and quick-witted, wouldn’t have noticed that I was desperate to hear even a lie. Yet seeing him not answer made my heart pound painfully.
‘If you weren’t going to cherish me, why did you cast a love spell of all the many spells out there. You crazy bastaaaaard!’
Drip.
Eventually, a tear rolled down my cheek.
“L-Lionel…!”
I tried to quickly wipe away the moisture with my sleeve because I was embarrassed, but in that moment, Cesare’s fingers urgently wiped it away.
“Are you, are you crying?”
“Kheung. I’m not crying…. Something got in my eye….”
Even in the midst of this, the sensation of his fingers touching my hot cheeks and wiping away tears felt so good. If I shed more tears, would he wipe them all away? Or did he only wipe the first tear in his panic?
“Let me see whether you’re crying or not.”
As I hung my head low in embarrassment and depression, he pulled my chin up. There were no students passing by, but I struggled to keep my head down in case someone might see.
His hand also grabbed my chin firmly and pulled it up, as if refusing to lose.
“Lionel. I’ll cherish you, so lift your head. Geez, you’re only strong at times like this? You little shit puppy.”
Just then, I heard the voices of a group of students passing by. Cesare quickly pushed me deeper into the corner and wrapped around me.
“Ugh…!”
The atmosphere became strange at the distance that closed another hand-span. Or maybe it was just strange on my side.
Again, a soft voice wrapped around my ear.
“Lionel. I didn’t say anything because I hate you. I couldn’t bring it up because I thought you’d feel burdened.”
“When did you ever see me feeling burdened by you…?”
I retorted in a voice full of hurt.
“You know what? You have this habit of cutting off the context and jumping to weird conclusions. Well, it’s not boring and it’s good, so.”
“……”
“I wasn’t planning to go originally. But after hearing that my father was at the border next to the Duchy of Taitus, I submitted the application recently. Wondering if I might be able to see him.”
The tears instantly disappeared. Whether it was because of the fact that he was half-brothers with Cedric or not, Cesare extremely avoided talking about family.
My heart, which had been shattered to pieces, was smoothly mending back together at this family talk that he brought up first.
“Then why didn’t you tell me….”
“I was going to tell you on the day you came to eat breakfast. How could I talk about it when you were vomiting and completely out of it!”
At those words, I quickly raised my head. Only then, when our faces met, he smiled brightly and wiped my face with his handkerchief with quick strokes. Mini Cesare was lighting candles on the chandelier on the ceiling of my heart.
With my heart gradually brightening, the hurt feelings I had toward him were also melting away smoothly.
“Good grief. I’m raising another dog, Lionel! I can’t handle you.”
“Please handle meee…. Kheung.”
“Ugh. Don’t even drip snot all over the place.”
Sniff. Right. I can’t dirty Cesare’s hands with snot. I tried to quickly pull my face back, but despite saying it was dirty so harshly, he kept holding my face and wiping it.
I’m so grateful and happy, but….
Isn’t it a bit much to keep wiping my cheeks with the handkerchief that wiped my snot, Cesare? Are you doing this on purpose because I dirtied your hands?
As expected, he’s only good at using his brain but has no humanity.
“And that day, you said you were more anxious because you weren’t good at anything, so I missed the timing to tell you.”
“Huh…?”
I ended up asking back in a stupid voice because I was paying attention to the movement path of the snot-covered handkerchief.
“It’s a place only students with excellent grades can go, so I was worried you’d be more upset.”
“Worried I’d be upset?”
“Yeah. I know full well that wherever I go, you always follow, so if I said you couldn’t go because of grades, you’d be digging yourself into the ground again. Crying and asking to be cherished.”
Cesare giggled and pressed the handkerchief into my hand. As expected, he’s dumping the dirtied one on me. But come here anyway. From now on, you’re my treasure number 2, snot-covered handkerchief.
“But I just got a recommendation letter from Professor Peter. Why are you saying I can’t come….”
Still feeling unsettled, I grumbled in a sulky voice, and he smiled gently while fixing my uniform cape and collar.
“The midterm exam grades are the condition. How can I make you suffer when I know your grades perfectly well.”
‘Cesare said no for my sake!’
I melted. That smile melted away even the remaining lumps completely. And it didn’t just melt normally but melted sweetly and stickily, and I fell into it.
“M-me! I’ll really study hard this time! It’s not suffering! I really want to go on a trip with you!”
“Really. Who can stop you.”
He laughed and roughly tousled my hair, which had become everyone’s punching bag.
“I don’t hate you, Lionel. So don’t come to weird conclusions on your own.”
Today too, I shouted the truth of life loudly in my heart.
The truth that if you’re inhumanly handsome, just looking at your face makes anger disappear. Pretty trash is the beeest…!
* * *
Having confirmed Cesare’s love(?) toward me, having decided to study hard and go on a trip together. All that remained now was Lucy.
“Wow. Lucy. What’s this in my hand. Oh my! 500 Torka!”
“Lionel. No.”
“Want to look at this catalog? This lavender-colored dress here. It looks super luxurious and the neckline elegantly wraps around—I think it would fit you perfectly if you wore it! Perfectly!”
“I said no. And please focus on class.”
“Tsk.”
Lucy answered firmly while pushing up her glasses. She was right. We were currently in a literature liberal arts class. Glancing at the professor in front, he seemed absorbed in passionately reciting heroic poetry.
“Look, look. The professor is busy. He’s not paying attention to us.”
“He’s busy teaching, Lioneeeel! Why on earth did you follow me all the way to my class?”
Lucy lightly hit the back of my hand while laughing as if she couldn’t stop me. Though Lucy had short curly hair and gave off more of a boyish feeling than a girl, my intuition was telling me.
“Lucy, you’re a rough diamond.”
At my words, Lucy covered her mouth and laughed softly.
“Just go to the dress shop with me once. I think you’re definitely an amazing rough gemstone. If you polish it, you’ll crush all the female students’ pride at the academy. I’m from the Mellans Merchant Company. I know how to spot these things really well.”
Rossi, Lucy’s twin, seemed to be maintaining amicable relationships with the same group of model students, but the female students were full of stuck-up young ladies, so friendless Lucy didn’t have many friends.
“You don’t want to be ignored among the girls either. Now’s the time. Right this very moment, catch Cesare! If you catch him now, I’ll serve you at a special price, miss!”
“Even if it’s you, I’m barely willing or not, but I hate Cesare Yanox even more.”
No matter how much I joked around, Lucy was firm.
“And I have a lecture by an author I like that day, so I’m planning to stay out overnight.”
Damn. I can’t push Lucy, who has no friends, to find a partner….
My shoulders drooped at the 200% rejection and I collapsed onto the desk. Lucy seemed to feel a bit sorry for me and took notes for class while glancing at me.
As an awkward silence settled over us, the literature professor’s passionate voice was heard.
“How did the hero Serk enter the enemy general’s camp?! Right, right, he put down his sword and wrapped himself in silk~ That’s what it means! This part, five stars! The phrase ‘wrapped in silk’ is a literary metaphor used to mean….”
Wrapped in silk?
At those words, I slightly raised my head. Lucy was also looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes. She alternately looked at the dress catalog in front of me and at me.
“……”
“……”
Then Lucy’s fountain pen carefully drew a circle over one dress and looked at me again.
It was a dress in a brilliant water-blue color. It seems we both had the same thought.
“Lucy, that’s not it.”
“It is. Lionel…. The first time is hard, but the second time won’t be difficult….”
“Hey! Back then I didn’t know you were a girl…!”
“You already told Yanox you found a partner. This is the only way, Lionel. Huhu.”
Lucy, with her glasses gleaming as she smiled, was unexpectedly firm and somehow exuded an irresistible charisma.
