In the bowling match where I, Junsung hyung, and Jason hyung formed one team and we split 3 versus 3, our team won both the first and second games. It was because Kihyun hyung, who was the best player, wasn’t performing to his usual ability today.
It seemed like two games would have been appropriate, but Kihyun hyung, who insisted we had to play three times, stubbornly started the third game with everyone except Jungwoo hyung and me. The third was also our team’s victory. The team that lost the first game would pay for the game fees, the team that lost the second would pay for drinks, and the team that lost the third would buy pizza, so in the end, the opposing team had to pay for everything.
By the time we stopped Kihyun hyung, who kept insisting on playing again, and came out, it was already getting dark outside. Except for Junsung hyung who had another appointment, everyone decided to go to Kwon Sungha’s apartment.
“Sehyun and I will buy the drinks and bring them. You guys go ahead and order pizza. Or pick it up on the way.”
“Okay…… Sungha, I’ll just buy the pizza.”
“Sure. You’re supposed to pay for the drinks too anyway, man.”
“I know, I know……”
Kihyun hyung, who had dropped the ball into the side lane twice, was completely dejected. To anyone watching, hyung was clearly the cause of today’s defeat.
“Ah. What about your car?”
“I’ll take Jungwoo hyung’s car, stop by the mart first, then go pick it up.”
“Is it okay to leave it parked there that long?”
“It’s already late, so it should be fine. See you later.”
It didn’t take long to stop by the nearby large mart and shop. We just bought drinks, beverages, and a few types of snacks, quickly checked out, and left. Unlike Kwon Sungha’s concern, as I expected, the car was still in that spot.
“Let’s go check.”
Hyung’s car that dropped me off left first, and when I got in my car to follow, a loud bell sound came from the Bluetooth-connected speaker.
「Honey♡」
A heart in this situation. I should have changed that a long time ago. Seeing the text displayed on the large screen irritated me.
With the engine running, I pressed the call button right there.
“Yeah. Talk.”
– You’re only answering now?
“Didn’t I say I was with a friend and would contact you later.”
– ……Ha. You really. What, a friend? You’re meeting a friend in this situation? Breaking up with me doesn’t bother you at all, does it?
The more angrily she raged, the more coldly my heart toward her froze.
“Cha Hyomin.”
She hated being called by her full name with the surname. As soon as I uttered the three syllables I’d never once called her since becoming lovers, the person who’d been firing away without pause went quiet.
“You seem to be mistaken about something, but as you said, we broke up. So do I really have to take your calls like this?”
– …….
“You’re the one who said let’s break up. I’m the one who was unilaterally notified. So why do I need your permission to meet a friend?”
– …….
“I have no obligation to talk on the phone with you. Shouldn’t you be grateful I even answered? What exactly do you want to say?”
After a long silence, a tearful voice came from the other end of the receiver. The first words were ‘Kang Sehyun,’ followed by ‘are you done talking?’ Even though I could hear the sobbing all the way here, she persisted in hiding it and maintaining her pride until the end.
– Do you know how many times I apologized to you? I apologized that much and you still ignored me.
“So why should I accept that apology?”
– That’s, obviously-
“Don’t say ‘obviously.’ What was obvious to you was never once obvious to me.”
She fell silent once more. And a few seconds later, the most absurd words I’d ever heard came through.
– You’re really angry.
My thoughts stopped for a moment.
Angry? Is it right to describe this situation as being angry?
If she only now thinks I’m truly angry, does that mean she thought everything that happened until now was just a joke?
I was trying to truly end what I’d thought was fighting all along, approaching a breakup, but she apparently only now thinks this is a fight.
I laughed at the absurdity.
What the hell have I been doing all this time?
“Listen carefully. I’ll only say this once.”
– ……What?
It had been a long relationship. But cutting off the affection built over more than five years took only a moment. This was the first and last time I would personally say the words I’d heard dozens of times.
“Let’s stop now.”
* * *
“Why are you so late?”
After ending the call that lasted nearly an hour and arriving at Kwon Sungha’s apartment, as expected, the table was already set. The cool air conditioner breeze circulated in the familiar interior.
“Come sit. I took out your glass.”
I didn’t come to Kwon Sungha’s apartment often, but every time I did, it was strangely comfortable. It felt somewhat cramped, but perhaps that made it cozier.
The biggest reason was probably the living room. Right now it was full, but at first it had been completely empty, not seeming like a place where people lived. The mint-gray sofa positioned against one wall and the small wooden table were gifts from me.
I moved toward the kitchen side and sat at the round dining table. This dining table was what I liked most about this house.
As soon as I sat down, Kwon Sungha pointed to the empty glass.
“What do you want to drink? Beer?”
“Give me anything.”
White hands picked up a brown bottle. As soon as the glass was filled, I downed it immediately. Even the cold beer didn’t completely quench my thirst. As I set down the glass that instantly showed its bottom, this time too Kwon Sungha filled the glass. Normally a kind word telling me to drink more slowly would follow, but not today.
“Sehyun, tell us about your trip to Korea.”
Jason hyung, who was eating pizza while holding a whole bottle of beer in one hand, suddenly spoke up.
“Him? He probably just helped his father with business anyway. He always says the same thing so there’s nothing to hear. Don’t you know that’s why no one asks?”
“Maybe this time is different.”
“It won’t be different, right? Sehyun, you tell us, what did you do this time?”
“Work. That’s all.”
“Right. That’s probably all. You heard? It’s boring.”
It was the same drinking session as usual. Comfortable and enjoyable. Perhaps because I’d already broken up dozens of times, surprisingly, what had just happened didn’t affect my daily life at all.
Thinking about it, among those processes like in movies where lovers fall in love normally, have passionate love, and face painful breakups, I hadn’t properly experienced even one. I hadn’t fallen in love from the start, and I hadn’t had passionate love.
Perhaps she had, but I hadn’t been able to. That’s why breaking up didn’t hurt for me either. Rather, I was so calm about it that it was almost laughable.
Except for Jungwoo hyung who had to drive early tomorrow morning, we drank quite a bit. The glasses emptied faster than usual, and as one bottle, two bottles, the empty bottles increased, I gradually got tipsy.
I got up to smoke the cigarette I’d been putting off because I didn’t want to give up the cool air conditioning. When I went out to the veranda, outside was a tropical night. Because of the humid weather even at night, the cigarette tasted bitter. As I was frowning, Kwon Sungha came out belatedly.
“You asked earlier.”
“About what?”
“Ideal type.”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I thought about it.”
Kwon Sungha’s eyes widened. It was a somewhat surprised expression.
“Is that such a surprising thing?”
“……It’s so out of the blue. You’re not the type to care about passing comments like that.”
“I guess.”
“I’m surprised there are still things about you that can surprise me.”
Kwon Sungha said something meaningless with a laugh mixed with a sigh.
“So, tell me what you thought about.”
“Nothing else. I just hope we’d be compatible.”
“What…… like hobbies?”
“I don’t know. Just everything.”
“‘Just everything’ is too much. Music, movies, food—to match all that, you couldn’t meet them even if you were reborn. It’s not that impressive but it’s not easy either.”
Actually, it would be fine if even one of those things connected. If I’d been accommodating everything to my partner until now, I wanted to feel the joy of empathizing with even just one thing now.
With that thought, doubts arose about whether what I’d been doing until now was even dating.
“Then just being able to have a drink together is enough.”
Kwon Sungha seemed surprised again, pausing for a moment. Then, seeming to think about something, he muttered quietly.
“……Even that’s not easy.”
“Why’s that?”
“Drinking with you isn’t easy. You have to drink moderately well too.”
At those words, I finally burst out laughing.
“What about you then? Let’s hear how easy your conditions are.”
“Me? Um……”
“You can’t answer right away either.”
“My conditions aren’t easy either.”
“Says the one who was talking to me like that. So, what is it?”
Kwon Sungha thought with a serious expression before opening his mouth with difficulty.
“Rich.”
“What?”
“I said rich, my ideal type. I like people with a lot of money.”
“Ha.”
Since he said dating was a waste of money, if his ideal type was rich, it was a fairly consistent answer. But still, hearing such realistic words come from Kwon Sungha’s mouth was awkward.
Having the face that seems like it would be the most gentle toward women among people I know, yet saying he likes people with a lot of money.
But another thought occurred to me. Perhaps after saying something like this, if he actually fell in love, wouldn’t he be more passionate than anyone else in this world?
Who on earth will be the person you fall in love with?
“That point is really unexpected.”
Hearing my words, Kwon Sungha smiled an indecipherable smile.
“As if you’re any different.”
